Wedding within 90 days?

[decocker 7,198]

Please keep in mind that this is a major event in life. If you treat it like a fast-food dinner, then you are making a strong statement to its value in you life as well as the value of your beloved. I realize that civil ceremonies are popularly discussed here on VJ because of their ease, the tradition in the US is that if you have a quickie civil ceremony it is because there is something shameful about it--one of them is divorced, an unplanned pregnancy, an affair, or something that traditionally was not acceptable in society OR that you are military and there is a war.

um, your statement might have been somewhat true if it were say, 1958 - but it's 2012 and the OP isn't asking for your opinion about civil ceremonies, they're asking about the marriage requirement of the K1 visa.

OP - my husband and i were married in a quick civil ceremony @ a pub we both like. it cost us $40. our AOS was approved without interview. we provided our marriage certificate and pictures the officiant took of us. the amount of money spent on a wedding or rings, is completely up to the couple involved. my husband and i don't even have rings and we don't want them. there is no law that states the validity of a marriage is attached to the cost of such things.

[skiptex 225]

Wrong again, Tim. The requirements vary with the local laws but a "preacher" is never required by law.

OOH.. keepings STATS on TIM..

To the OP, you don't see any reference to a "wedding" in any instructions or visa terms and conditions. "Married" is the operative term, not "wedding".

yep!

[Operator 1,925]

Please keep in mind that this is a major event in life. If you treat it like a fast-food dinner, then you are making a strong statement to its value in you life as well as the value of your beloved. I realize that civil ceremonies are popularly discussed here on VJ because of their ease, the tradition in the US is that if you have a quickie civil ceremony it is because there is something shameful about it--one of them is divorced, an unplanned pregnancy, an affair, or something that traditionally was not acceptable in society OR that you are military and there is a war.

We don't have the money or the time to plan a formal wedding, but you can bet your butt that I won't insult my spouse with a low-class legal "ceremony" that has nothing memorable about it whatsoever. (We'll be spending under 1000$ easy.) Low budget does not ever have to equal low-class.

I too find your comment very dated and in no way related to the OP's question. Are you suggesting that in the US a marriage is "shameful" if one or both are divorced or the two have a child prior to the marriage?

[kittylondon 47]

there is no law that states the validity of a marriage is attached to the cost of such things.

absolutely right. my fiancee is a 3rd year med student, working incredibly hard to be qualified as a primary care physician in new orleans. in his spare time he volunteers at free clinics throughout the city. his parents are helping him out financially, and will by my co-sponsors, but we're not comfortable asking for money from for an expensive dress or dinner for 100 people. we care about the long and happy marriage, not the wedding, and i see nothing "shameful" in that.

[EminTX 131]

... the OP isn't asking for your opinion about civil ceremonies, they're asking about the marriage requirement of the K1 visa.

The OP seemed to be asking about a wedding ceremony versus the absolute bare minimum legal requirement. There is a lot of leeway between those two. I was reminding him that if you do the cheapest, skankiest, ####### that you can find, then you are declaring your value of the marriage and your life-partner. Really, there is more to getting married than just satisfying the requirements for the K-1.

Good for you that you are happy with the bare minimum but bragging that your marriage ceremony cost less than a steak dinner for the two of you is kind of sad.

OP, discuss this with your beloved and see what she wants. Be sure that she is not just agreeing with you about something cheap just to pacify you if she wants to be treated special. This is not a day in your life that you can ever change in the future. You can find an officiant on Craigslist for under 300$ in most cities and that plus the paperwork will run you under 400$. Pick a memorable location and gather your friends and family and celebrate the occasion. This is one of the most important days of your life. Don't belittle it.

[skiptex 225]

I too find your comment very dated and in no way related to the OP's question. Are you suggesting that in the US a marriage is "shameful" if one or both are divorced or the two have a child prior to the marriage?

yikes.. i totally missed that post.. :wow:

[Operator 1,925]

The OP seemed to be asking about a wedding ceremony versus the absolute bare minimum legal requirement. There is a lot of leeway between those two. I was reminding him that if you do the cheapest, skankiest, ####### that you can find, then you are declaring your value of the marriage and your life-partner. Really, there is more to getting married than just satisfying the requirements for the K-1.

Good for you that you are happy with the bare minimum but bragging that your marriage ceremony cost less than a steak dinner for the two of you is kind of sad.

OP, discuss this with your beloved and see what she wants. Be sure that she is not just agreeing with you about something cheap just to pacify you if she wants to be treated special. This is not a day in your life that you can ever change in the future. You can find an officiant on Craigslist for under 300$ in most cities and that plus the paperwork will run you under 400$. Pick a memorable location and gather your friends and family and celebrate the occasion. This is one of the most important days of your life. Don't belittle it.

Wow! Not much of a people person are you.

[EminTX 131]

I too find your comment very dated and in no way related to the OP's question. Are you suggesting that in the US a marriage is "shameful" if one or both are divorced or the two have a child prior to the marriage?

You know good and well what is traditionally considered shameful in this society. A marriage ceremony that is based on how cheap you can be would qualify.

OP, again, consider your life-partner. What does that person want? Work together to make this occasion as memorable and joyous and celebratory as you can within your budget's constraints.

[acuratlsd 11]

As long as you get a marriage certificate that says you were married in the 90 day window then you're good to go. A civil wedding is fine. We did ours at the county clerk's office. No advance appointment was necessary. We did a "walk in", and walked out 20 minutes later with a marriage certificate. They even found us a JP who speaks Vietnamese, so we had a bilingual wedding!

This entire process can get a little crazy. Some consulates are really ####### about the beneficiary having extensive knowledge of the wedding arrangements, such as when and where the wedding ceremony will take place, where the reception will take place, how many people will be there, etc. This is AFTER they've told the beneficiary not to make any concrete plans until after the visa is issued.

"Don't make any plans until you get the visa. By the way, what are your plans?"

For adjustment of status, USCIS understands that 90 days is not enough time to plan a formal wedding. They're not going to presume it's a "marriage of convenience" if you have a civil wedding because you've already gone through the whole K1 process together. There's a presumption that your relationship was vetted, to some degree, at the US consulate.

For my first wedding I had it in the Philippines and they wanted to make it special and put half of it in English so that I could understand. They actually made i worse and made the ceremony 3 times longer. One thing you do not want to be doing is sitting in a monkey suit for 3 hours in south east asia humidity and heat.

I was thinking to myself "just speak in Tagalog, I will read the contract when I eventually get to it!"

[decocker 7,198]

You know good and well what is traditionally considered shameful in this society. A marriage ceremony that is based on how cheap you can be would qualify.

you are completely and totally, wrong.

and also, completely and totally, offensive.

the only thing shameful about your view of marriage is how utterly materialistic it is.

Edited February 8, 2012 by valerie78

[tru_loves_journey 117]

Question to all you smart VJ members. If I bring my fiance it says I must have a wedding within 90 days, do I really have to do a wedding and a ceremony and spend all that money, or can I just get married in court without a ceremony, and If I do that will that be enough?

Thanks all.

Hi, When we married in NC in August 2011, We went to the Courthouse and filed the marriage license ( the cost was $60) then we went to the Magistrate to get married (the cost $20) all was done in the same day and took about 4 hours...Your time could be alot less to get this done and you will need 2 witnesses..Congrats!

Edited February 8, 2012 by tru_loves_journey

[Operator 1,925]

You know good and well what is traditionally considered shameful in this society. A marriage ceremony that is based on how cheap you can be would qualify.

OP, again, consider your life-partner. What does that person want? Work together to make this occasion as memorable and joyous and celebratory as you can within your budget's constraints.

And I know whats wrong with this country too...

[Hank_ 9,173]

But wont you have to provide evidence that this is a bona fide marriage and not a marriage of convenience, e.g. pictures from the ceremony with family members etc.?

You are over thinking this. They want to see a marriage certificate stating you are married. If they thought that it was just a marriage of convience they would never approve the K-1 visa.

[EminTX 131]

the only thing shameful about your view of marriage is how utterly materialistic it is.

A wedding is not a marriage.

A wedding is the beginning once-in-a-lifetime-event that celebrates the marriage. The effort involved should be fitting to its value.

[Operator 1,925]

A wedding is not a marriage.

A wedding is the beginning once-in-a-lifetime-event that celebrates the marriage. The effort involved should be fitting to its value.

And a marriage isn't defined by the wedding. It's defined by the love of the people involved, not society and certainly not you.