Language differences and communication woes

[Aztec&Taino 144]

Hello everyone!

I thought I would start a topic about a really important issue that ALL couples face -but particularly important to us- people in the Visa Journey. How do you manage language differences?

By language I do not only mean the actual set of words and sounds that construct and convey meaning (English, Spanish, French, etc.) but I also mean to include in this word the regional differences and idioms particular of a specific tongue, specially those languages that are spoken in different countries and regions. Have you had to learn your spouse's language, along with his or her particular and specific cultural myths -meaning the values, behaviors, and attitudes that are the social norms of a particular culture-?

For me, it has been an interesting journey. My husband and I are both native Spanish speakers. Therefore, you would think that we both speak the "same" language, right? Wrong! I have had to learn the Dominicanisms and he has had to learn the Mexicanisms appropriate to our regional Spanish. To me, it is interesting that we have both have to become "bilingual" (in a sense). We have had to learn the cultural myths, ideas, and idioms specific to our different native countries. Added to this mix has been the added complication of living in this country.

Can you share an anecdote of your journey as related to these language differences and adjustments?

I could share many instances, but my current favorite is my husband's adoption of the word "chingada," which is a word that we, Mexicans, use. He knows how to mandar a alguien a la chingada, which is the English equivalent to sending someone, well, far away. F* off? Maybe? This is a word which is not used in the the DR, but has learned to use by his close contact with Mexicans in our city and common friends. On the other hand, he has learned some English, too. He has learned the also complicated meaning of the F word. How much of a couple's communication depends on language and how much of it depends on the specific meanings and use of words particular to a specific culture and region?

Comment away!

[StephanieM 60]

Thankfully I am Dominican American, so my husband and I don't have any problems in terms of Spanish. However, I remember one day I was on the phone with him and told someone around me to "** off". I had previously told him the word was sometimes used to say when you have sex with someone in a vulgar way. Needless to say, he was so confused and was conviced that I was saying something about "fukcing someone", which we all know is something totally different!!! It was so hard to explain to him that it can be used in so many different ways.

[AskewAlonzo 0]

i just have one thing to say about that, i took spanish in high school, and pass with a B grade. but when i went to the DR in 2009, its like i didnt take it at all, but when i found my true love MAYELIN ALONZO ASKEW, WE SPEAK LOVE!!!

[TBoneTX 43,246]

Well, here's a question, Aztec, si ma'am: Consider the word chapa. What does it mean in Mexican Spanish, and what does it mean in Dominicano Spanish? Answer, si man, and then I'll tell you what it means in Ecuatoriano Spanish, see man.

I shall ask Mrs. T-B. tomorrow what differences she notes in terminology. I do know that there are differences even between Ecuatoriano and Colombiano Spanish, and they're neighbors.

Not quite the same, but worth repeating: A couple of years ago, Mrs. T-B. & I visited several Mexican border cities. In Nuevo Laredo, we stopped at a sit-down restaurant that was mostly empty due to the time of day. Mrs. T-B. kept asking the waiters what the various menu-items were. I couldn't understand most of what was being said, but I could perceive that the waiters were growing increasingly confused -- I presumed because, to them, here was a speaker of perfect Spanish who didn't know what should have been "obvious" stuff. On the way out of the restaurant, I summoned my entire Spanish vocabulary and said to one waiter, "Mi esposa es una Ecuatoriana" (my wife is Ecuadorian). His eyebrows shot up in surprised understanding and he said, "Ah, Si!" and he ran back in, presumably to apprise his colleagues. Ergothuswithforthly, my perception was correct, si man.

This was also just about the only time I ever said anything in Spanish and the natives didn't look alarmed and point me toward the nearest restroom, sigh man.

[Aztec&Taino 144]

Well, here's a question, Aztec, si ma'am: Consider the word chapa. What does it mean in Mexican Spanish, and what does it mean in Dominicano Spanish? Answer, si man, and then I'll tell you what it means in Ecuatoriano Spanish, see man.

I shall ask Mrs. T-B. tomorrow what differences she notes in terminology. I do know that there are differences even between Ecuatoriano and Colombiano Spanish, and they're neighbors.

TBoneTX,

To me, the word "chapa" means key hole. I do not know what it means (if anything) to my husband. What does it mean to Ecuatorians?

I have had the opportunity to talk to many different Spanish speaking people, though most of the Latino population here is Mexican. I have talked to Dominicans, Hondurans, Salvadoreans, Colombians, Ecuatorians, Venezuelans, Chileans and very few times to Spaniards. We do speak very differently and use different words.

Thankfully I am Dominican American, so my husband and I don't have any problems in terms of Spanish. However, I remember one day I was on the phone with him and told someone around me to "** off". I had previously told him the word was sometimes used to say when you have sex with someone in a vulgar way. Needless to say, he was so confused and was conviced that I was saying something about "fukcing someone", which we all know is something totally different!!! It was so hard to explain to him that it can be used in so many different ways.

Funny! That's why I love that word, it is very flexible and can be used in a variety of ways.

[Mononoke28 134]

For me, it has been an interesting journey. My husband and I are both native Spanish speakers. Therefore, you would think that we both speak the "same" language, right? Wrong! I have had to learn the Dominicanisms and he has had to learn the Mexicanisms appropriate to our regional Spanish. To me, it is interesting that we have both have to become "bilingual" (in a sense). We have had to learn the cultural myths, ideas, and idioms specific to our different native countries. Added to this mix has been the added complication of living in this country.

Welcome to my world and the world of the rest of Hispanics living in the US surrounded by the strong Mexican culture we have in this country. LOL! Ever since I came here I had to learn it all, the isms you speak of, music, food, sports, T.V., and I could go on and on. It's just a matter of adapting.

Diana

[StephanieM 60]

TBoneTX,

To me, the word "chapa" means key hole. I do not know what it means (if anything) to my husband. What does it mean to Ecuatorians?

Aztec, ask your husband what the word chapa means to us Dominicans. I'm sure he's gonna say something from a keyhole.

[StephanieM 60]

Aztec, ask your husband what the word chapa means to us Dominicans. I'm sure he's gonna say something far a keyhole.

[skiptex 225]

i was cracking up the whole time in Venezuela.. where they have signs for PORK as COCHINO

mexican spanish... well, lets just say that word is not the same meaning.. LOL>>

[TBoneTX 43,246]

i was cracking up the whole time in Venezuela.. where they have signs for PORK as COCHINO

There's an example where Mexico & Ecuador are unlike Venezuela. "Cochino" is one of Mrs. T-B.'s favorite words, si man.

To me, the word "chapa" means key hole. I do not know what it means (if anything) to my husband. What does it mean to Ecuatorians?

I'd like to hear what it means in Dominicano first, and then I shall promptly respond. Edited October 4, 2011 by TBoneTX

[Samantha78 117]

This is so funny just because I came back yesterday from seeing my hubby and this was the topic of the weekend....language. I am Italian but speak English but understand/read/write in Spanish, he is Dominican and speaks almost only Spanish but he is learning English so fast...to the point we have almost all of our conversation in English now. They are slow and sometimes need further explanation, but we make it happen. One word in particular that I had to explain to him was the difference between Fine and Find. They sound the same when someone who speaks English says it so at first he didn't realize the difference but knew something didn't make sense...so I explained it to him. He catches on very quickly.....thank God. I think when he comes here he will be comfortable and adapt fast. The only issue we may have is the every day routines...and the pace of the day. He is much slower and calmer...I'm super fast paced and always on time. lol......this is usually a frequent discussion as he doesn't believe people should live so fast paced...lol

It's all about transition and patience. But all in all...I think it's great that we have a chance to experience new customs, languages, mannerisms, beliefs, etc......

[skiptex 225]

There's an example where Mexico & Ecuador are unlike Venezuela. "Cochino" is one of Mrs. T-B.'s favorite words, si man.

LOL!! thats funny esp. if she says it to you.. !!

[NY_BX 397]

Hello everyone!

I thought I would start a topic about a really important issue that ALL couples face -but particularly important to us- people in the Visa Journey. How do you manage language differences?

By language I do not only mean the actual set of words and sounds that construct and convey meaning (English, Spanish, French, etc.) but I also mean to include in this word the regional differences and idioms particular of a specific tongue, specially those languages that are spoken in different countries and regions. Have you had to learn your spouse's language, along with his or her particular and specific cultural myths -meaning the values, behaviors, and attitudes that are the social norms of a particular culture-?

For me, it has been an interesting journey. My husband and I are both native Spanish speakers. Therefore, you would think that we both speak the "same" language, right? Wrong! I have had to learn the Dominicanisms and he has had to learn the Mexicanisms appropriate to our regional Spanish. To me, it is interesting that we have both have to become "bilingual" (in a sense). We have had to learn the cultural myths, ideas, and idioms specific to our different native countries. Added to this mix has been the added complication of living in this country.

Can you share an anecdote of your journey as related to these language differences and adjustments?

I could share many instances, but my current favorite is my husband's adoption of the word "chingada," which is a word that we, Mexicans, use. He knows how to mandar a alguien a la chingada, which is the English equivalent to sending someone, well, far away. F* off? Maybe? This is a word which is not used in the the DR, but has learned to use by his close contact with Mexicans in our city and common friends. On the other hand, he has learned some English, too. He has learned the also complicated meaning of the F word. How much of a couple's communication depends on language and how much of it depends on the specific meanings and use of words particular to a specific culture and region?

Comment away!

What a great topic! I speak Spanish and English; both are my native languages. My fiancee speaks English and Arabic. Arabic is his native language. His english is almost perfect so, grammatically speaking we're fine. Now, when it comes to my newyoricanisms, my boyfriend has a hard time understanding my 'speedy accent.' When he hears me speak to my mom or dad, he hears a mess. My spanish is fast, very fast. His arabic is the same. So phonetically, we just hear a conglomerate of letters attempting to put words together that somehow make sense to the recipient. I can't wait to see how this pans out once we marry!

[Casprd 167]

Even in China you will run in to this same thing. I have been learning Mandarin, but my wife being from Guangxi province speaks Mandarin with a "southern" accent (she couldn't understand the people in sichuan for months after she moved there). Additionally she isn't ethnic Han so the things you learn about "China" don't necessarily apply. Many of the traditions are similar and there are national traditions, but there are also things specific to Guangxi and Zhaung culture. Likewise she learned British English but refined her accent watching US TV shows which isn't a problem for understanding me since I grew up in California so I have the "TV" accent, but we live in Tulsa so there are a range of drawls here from city okie to country okie and lots of other southern dialects thrown in, especially Texan. It's a challenge for me to understand people sometimes so I can only imagine how it is for her.

One thing that does throw her is my accent changes depending on who I talk to. for my midwestern born and raised parents it is one accent, for my oklahoma friends another and my california relatives a different accent entirely.

Edited October 4, 2011 by Casprd

[Enigma11561 336]

At least Spanish, in any form, uses latin letters. Try Russian !! It's all in Cyrillic ! ( цыриллиц )