How is having a baby when you're older?

[nane1104 146]

Also, remember: Babies are too young to talk. When they figure that out, it makes them so mad that they cry all the time, si man.

Oh wow, and I was always wondering, why my little one was always crying...

[Dan and Judy 614]

I wanted to follow this thread after I posted but I forgot to hit the "watch topic"button and then I couldnt remember where it was. I actually looked and couldn't find it. I've also spent a little time

walking around the walmart parking lot trying to find my car. I used to have a big white conversion van that you could see from a mile away. I traded that in on a little black vibe that gets great

gas milage but looks like a thousand other little cars. Anyway some fantastic guy posted today and I stumbled on it right at the top of the forum. Looks like you've got some good advice.

Tbone and Riogan seem to come the closest to first hand knowledge but you seem to have 10 years on them and they seem to still be in the very early rounds of the process.

Shenzhen has second hand knowledge of someone who did it at your age with apparent good results (apparent get it?)

To talk to someone who has gone the whole nine yards from your place you will need to find an 83 year old. I'm figuring up to the age of 18 anyway.

Now my mom (to protect her identity I wont mention her name) who is past 75 seems to be completely unhappy about having teenagers living in her house.

But she probably just has a crappy attitude cause she doesnt think it is her job to still be supporting her over 40 son and his two kids.

She had both hips replaced a long time ago and fell down the stairs a couple years ago and hurt her knee so she dosnt get around too well.

If she didnt have the xtra responsibilities she would be ready to move into an apartment or a very low maintenace house of some sort with easy access.

There is a potential for a symbiotic relationship but that is not what exists.

Anyway you have to draw a line somewhere and I think 18 is a reasonable place to do it.

So you would be in your 80's matching your wits and your will against a teenager.

I hesitate to mention this because in general I dont think having kids at 63 is a great idea but I believe there is a stupid rule that if you are getting social security and you have kids under 18 the goverment will pay you hundreds of dollars a month to support them. So having a baby will increase your income. Im not going to verify this but you can check it out for yourself.

You have asked this question:

"For all you who have or had children and told me all the work and frustrations that wil come with having children: DO YOU REGRET HAVING THEM IN YOUR LIFE OR YOU WOULD STILL DO IT AGAIN?"

It has been the most rewarding experience of my life. I wouldnt take back doing it but I specifically have chosen not to do it again. I did not want to put myself in the position of feeling guilty about not giving my wife a baby so I picked a girl that already had a grown son. so she has gotten it out of her system so to speak and that was the first subject I brought up.

My 15 year old heavy metal guitar playing son thinks it is strange that he likes Dean Martin. He dosnt remember me dancing him around the living room to "That's Amore" when he was a baby.

I was intrigued by your idea of freezing sperm so I thought I would give it a try but had to give up after a couple hours the ice cubes were melting and the water was running down my leg and to be honest it just hurt. If you can do it, You are a better man than me.

[Dan and Judy 614]

Also, remember: Babies are too young to talk. When they figure that out, it makes them so mad that they cry all the time, si man.

I was in the grocery store yesterday and there was women pushing a grocery cart with a baby seat thing so the baby is sitting right in front of the mom.

the baby couldn't have been more than 6 months. But this woman asks the baby a question. That didnt bother me but the baby answered!!!

Then she said something else and the baby answered again. I was very impressed until I realized there was a 3 year old laying in the shopping cart half

covered by groceries

[nane1104 146]

I was in the grocery store yesterday and there was women pushing a grocery cart with a baby seat thing so the baby is sitting right in front of the mom.

the baby couldn't have been more than 6 months. But this woman asks the baby a question. That didnt bother me but the baby answered!!!

Then she said something else and the baby answered again. I was very impressed until I realized there was a 3 year old laying in the shopping cart half

covered by groceries

:thumbs:

[TBoneTX 43,081]

Actually, Mini-Bone and I had a deeply intellectual conversation just tonight, si man:

Mini-B.: Gurgle babble chortle Spffffffff!

T-B.: Is that so, si man? Well, spffffffff!

Mini-B.: Spffffffff!

T-B.: So is "spffffffff" your final and deeply held opinion on the matter?

Mini-B.: Spffffffff!

T-B.: Well, Daddy 'grees and 'spects, si man. Spffffffff!

Mini-B.: Spffffffff!

About this time, the Dairy Farm walked in, and Bachelor Time ended in favor of an "udder" activity, slurpppp man.

[rlogan 2,036]

OMG that does remind me that my freshman year in college there was a guy across the hall from me that had a father in his 80's. He was in a class with me too so we saw quite a bit of each other. Partied together. Not like a really close friend, but enough to know it just wasn't an issue. So what. From his point of view, from our point of view. From anyone. About the same as if he was in the Elks club or was part hispanic.

I guess that's why I forgot. Otherwise it would by Oh my GOD can you believe it this guy's dad was over 80, how revolting someone get a can of air freshener in here. Come to think of it my Mom's boyfriend is 95 and just won a trophy the third year in a row at this run they do at Chatauqua.

You're as young as what you're feeling. I'm feeling this 23 year old Filipina.

[^_^ 5,021]

@ dairy farm.

i call my wife "the 24 hour diner". that's how the baby treats her that's for sure.

[Dan and Judy 614]

Update on what you could be facing when you are almost 80.

My 15 yr old plays guitar, (heavy metal) most of his friends are a couple years older and can drive. A couple months ago he got grounded for getting a ride from the goober I mentioned in post #7.

The one that stabbed the basketball.

I told him he could go as long as that kid wasnt driving. My son actually wrote a song called "He only lives for the ride" describing the reckless driving of this guy.

Anyway I found out he went with this kid and I grounded him for a month.

So he was ungrounded for a couple of days and then they had "a gig" playing at someones house.

My kid said he should be back by 11. I knew that wasnt going to happen ahead of time but I didnt tell him that.

I was working a long shift and wouldnt be home until 8 in the morning. Unfortunately for him, I work very close by so I can run home every once in a while to check on him.

I popped in at 1:40 am and he wasnt home yet. I purposely did not call him at that time

Today I asked him what time he got home and he said about midnight.

He had been implying that some guy( ill call him John) had given him a ride home.

So I said guess what time John told me he got home. (I was being decietful, I had not spoken to john)

He said "well he probably said he stayed after I left."

And the guy that he is not supposed to be riding with gave him a ride home.

then I asked if he wanted to change his story about the time and he said 3:00

So he is busted for being out later than he was supposed to be, but I kind of expected that. I didnt give him a specific time to be home.

The 11:00 was his idea, so I would let him go in the first place.

Then he lied by about 3 hours what time he got home.

And he rode with the guy he wasnt supposed to be ridding with.

So now I have to come up with an appropriate punishment. I feel if the father dosnt do that then the kid grows up thinking

there are not consequences for his actions and has a much better chance of ending up in jail.

Anyway I'm feeling like the first 10 years were the easy part.

[rika60607 215]

He's a nice kid trying to meet your expectations, but he does not have a car so has to depend on other (unreliable) kids.

You have to decide - what's worse, lying or making unrealistic promises. If you told him it's okay to come home by 6 am, he'd not have to lie

So now I have to come up with an appropriate punishment. I feel if the father dosnt do that then the kid grows up thinking

there are not consequences for his actions and has a much better chance of ending up in jail.

Anyway I'm feeling like the first 10 years were the easy part.

[thetreble 19]

This is just my two cents.

It's quite possible any one at your ages could handle a baby. That I don't see a problem with at all. But it is hard to understand since I'm 27 years old and my dad is 60 and I've been married for 5 years and out of the house for 9 years. I look at my parents, 58 and 60 years old, and they are tired. They are still lovely and are active but they get tired easily. (bless them)

I think the only thing to keep in mind is that you have to be realistic about your situation. You're 63. The chances of you being able to see your potential son or daughter's highschool graduation, wedding, etc. is significantly reduced. Just make sure that if something happens to you, your wife can support herself. I'm not sure if she works or not, but I would hate to see her with a child on her own and not being able to cope.

Just my opinion though! Obviously not fact.

[TBoneTX 43,081]

@ dairy farm.

i call my wife "the 24 hour diner". that's how the baby treats her that's for sure.

Si, man. How old is little \-Bone?

When Mrs. T-B. is reading animal-books to Mini-Bone and comes to the cow ("The cow goes 'MOOOOO!'"), I routinely observe "Just like Mommy," and I quickly evade the immediate Wedgie of Retribution. However, one must milk the moment for all it's worth, si man.

It's interesting how, after the advent of a newborn, everything in the house smells like milk, si man.

[rlogan 2,036]

Anyway I'm feeling like the first 10 years were the easy part.

From what I am reading these themes begin very early in childhood, and I can sure see the entire spectrum of adolescent types of behaviors in my boy that is not even two years old. But again the literature is telling us that - personality is something that is developing really, really early. Don't just smack your kid or get rid of him by tossing him in the crib because you are angry or bored. They are watching you. REALLY carefully. Studying you. Testing boundaries. Copying. Reasoning. We think, oh this is just a baby. But he is for example learning whether you say "No, No, no, no, no, Stop stop stop...I REALLY mean it this time" before you actually intervene in anything. Seeing whether you hug him when he approaches or whether you get testy and push him off.

Well anyway by the time they are teens their personality may not be complete, but it is largely already developed from what we are learning. They know if you are a big hypocrite and liar, and if you are, then they are most likely going to be a hypocritical liar right back to you. What can you say to their reasoning: you lie to me, so why can't I lie to you. I doubt as parents we have any appreciation for how long-lasting the effects from our manner of interaction when very young are. It isn't like suddenly they start testing boundaries or rebelling in their teens. What does change is that they have cars, phones, and other resources that they don't have when young.

[Dan and Judy 614]

He's a nice kid trying to meet your expectations, but he does not have a car so has to depend on other (unreliable) kids.

You have to decide - what's worse, lying or making unrealistic promises. If you told him it's okay to come home by 6 am, he'd not have to lie

I specifically did not give him a time he had to be home. I simply asked him what time he would be home. The next day happened to be the first day of school.

If he would have said I plan to get home at 3 then I would have most likely said you can't go.

Really as a 15 year old he had no business going to the party in the first place. but he has been blessed/cursed with exceptional musical talent which I have

been very supportive of. This was a chance for him to play and get experience. If he was just going to a party the answer would have been no.

When I was his age I was busy stealing the vodka out of my dad's bottles and replacing it with water. And he drank enough that he didn't notice.

Drugs and sex go with rock and roll like white on rice. I already busted him for pot with a drug test about a year ago. I told him if tested positve again, he'd

loose his guitar and be grounded for two months. That hasn't happened again.

My letting him go to this party was me trusting him. Him lying to me is telling me the trust is not well founded.

In retrospect it was a mistake on my part to let him go. I don't know if he was trying to get them to give him a ride home and they refused or if he just went with the flow.

but it boils down to they have lost their lead guitar player.

[Apple & Wil 0]

Wow. Thanks everyone for all or your advice and experiences. So much to think about but she wants a baby and I want to one too cause some have told me it's a joy to have a baby. And I want to bless her as she has blessed me so much and she has turned over her whole life that she has in China to come to be with me. She makes me so happy and I am so lucky to have her with me. I know we all feel like that with our spouses. My thinking is that I need to find out about hiring a house cleaner to clean the house, perhaps do the laundry, perhaps cook and do all the things that needs to be done around the house. My job will be to make enough money to pay for all of this, which I think can happen, and also help her with our baby so that she can rest and do other things that she wants and or needs to do. In other words, I need to step up and do what needs to be done to keep her happy and the baby well cared for.

Wilfred

[TBoneTX 43,081]

I need to step up and do what needs to be done to keep her happy and the baby well cared for.

Decision made, it sounds like. Thanks for letting us know, si man, and for realizing the crucial nature of a housekeeper/laundress/potential cook under the circumstances!