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8 years on and off with an Irish immigrant who came back into the USA 3 yrs ago to win my heart once and for all. After working through some obvious issues (his being here illegally), and his drinking, he took a vow of sobriety and we began the process of getting married and applying for the Green Card. He stayed sober and had(still has) incredible job but immediately after marrying last August, each and every promise he made me that day have all been long forgotten. I am an educated and smart woman, but circumstances that were unusual just made this last year fly by before I finally realized not one promise has been kept. First, he lost his job as he did not have a work authorization card. This freaked him out as he always worked and made good money. We talked marriage for a long time but we rushed it through at a time where I had taken off from work to come back to NY to care for my mother just diagnosed with cancer. He said we'd work through it. I told him I could not accept his apartment living situation. He was in a share with a stranger - apartment was a dump. He makes good enough salary to get decent apartment. He hated my apartment (reminded him of my ex) so I temporarily went to stay with my mom since she was ill and he was supposed to find housing suitable for us both - never happened. As my mom's treatment kept me busy, he was back at work soon after we filled out all the applications and hired an attorney -- I asked only for a weekend away the two of us so I could de-stress from all the craziness of leaving my job of 20 years, helping him with his green card, my mom's illness. Always "next week, next week". Never happened. His explanation was he was so afraid of being around anywhere that sold booze and he was so committed to staying sober. I accepted that. While people around us were going through Green Card process and being held up on one thing or another, seems we just sailed through so easily. I kept telling him how lucky he was to have me following up so dilligently on everything. In January, we had our appt. He was freaked out because our attorney was in labor and sent her second in command who just passed the bar that month. I told him not to worry - he was with me and I had not let him down yet. We had our interview and I had a great connection with the officer, we spoke about our neighborhood in the Bronx, weather, etc. At the end she asked us to wait outside. She came back and stamped him approved right on the spot. He was so excited, he told me I was the most amazing woman in the world. The next day he began drinking again and it's been downhill since then. The apartment situation never happened. I am sleeping on my mother's 40 year old couch, she had to have another surgery and I have not been able to get back to work full time and financially I am struggling because in my entire life I supported myself without ever being out of work for even a week and now I cannot get assistance because technically I am married and he makes good money but he gives me not one single penny. When I ask him for gas money, he gives me hell. He has physically abused me, has blackouts and doesn't remember what he says or does, I hardly see him other than when he shows up crying on my moms doorstep. She fell over the cat and broke her arm the other day and his only concern was when he dropped off his laptop did I install his new antivirus and download his music library. Last week, I learned he planned an 8 week trip home to Ireland that does not include me (another promise he made last year). I decided enough is enough. I cannot afford an attorney. I do not know what my rights are if any. I told him I was going to go to that apartment and just move myself in since technically I am his wife and he said his landlord would throw me out. When we married, he opened a joint bank account which he promised he would leave me always a couple hundred dollars in for needed expenses (usually his) and to date he has never left more than $30 in the account (he makes over $100k a year). He refuses to take any responsibility for the fact he is married and I went into this for all the right and genuine reasons a person gets married. I want to know what i can do to financially make myself whole again as I sacrificed a lot in order to marry him and help him. I do know when we went for the Green Card, he showed a bank statement from Ireland that he paid $300k in cash to buy a house and supposedly as the only son, he is the heir to his family's property which his friends say is worth over $5mil. As he lives like a pauper over here, what rights do I have for him to answer for what he's put me through.

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Filed: Other Timeline

While nobody can be certain to evaluate your personal situation correctly, from what you stated I conclude the following two issues:

1) Your husband is an alcoholic. That's a serious . . . .um . . . illness that needs to be taken care of for the rest of his natural life. My wife's father was an alcoholic and then spent the last 40 years (!) of his life sponsoring people and being a prominent figure in the AA community of his hometown. Staying sober is really a lifetime commitment that includes removing every opportunity of temptation.

2) Your husband used you for the Green Card. While people are different in their personalities, i.e., very open and welcoming or rather introverted, the way your husband treated you is under no condition acceptable or could be interpreted in a favorable way, assuming he was not under the influence each and every time he behaved toward you the way you stated.

I am reluctant to give relationship advice, as I'm certainly not qualified to do that from a professional perspective. But as a layman I'd suggest you look into divorcing your husband, and please omit any thought in regard to immigration from this process as it is not relevant at all.

There is no room in this country for hyphenated Americanism. When I refer to hyphenated Americans, I do not refer to naturalized Americans. Some of the very best Americans I have ever known were naturalized Americans, Americans born abroad. But a hyphenated American is not an American at all . . . . The one absolutely certain way of bringing this nation to ruin, of preventing all possibility of its continuing to be a nation at all, would be to permit it to become a tangle of squabbling nationalities, an intricate knot of German-Americans, Irish-Americans, English-Americans, French-Americans, Scandinavian-Americans or Italian-Americans, each preserving its separate nationality, each at heart feeling more sympathy with Europeans of that nationality, than with the other citizens of the American Republic . . . . There is no such thing as a hyphenated American who is a good American. The only man who is a good American is the man who is an American and nothing else.

President Teddy Roosevelt on Columbus Day 1915

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Filed: Citizen (apr) Country: Ireland

I cannot afford an attorney. I do not know what my rights are if any.

You really do need a lawyer. Book an appointment to speak to one first, most dont charge for the first consultation. If the lawyer sees you do have a case and its worth pursuing, (s)he can agree to start for a small fee and get paid after settlement.


Filing based on 3yrs/USC Spouse. 3 year residency anniversary is in August 2014. Filed immediately after the 90-day early filing mark (May 2014)

05/06/2014 - Mailed N-400

05/15/2014 - Check cashed

05/12/2014 - NOA Date

06/11/2014 - Biometrics Appointment

09/15/2014 - Inline for interview scheduling (was stuck in "Initial Review" for over 3 months!)

10/27/2014 - Scheduled for interview

12/01/2014 - Interview

12/19/2014 - I AM A US CITIZEN!

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Divorce. Physical abuse is unacceptable. In fact pressing charges, I'm assuming you didn't when it first occurred, if it happens again would be a good idea. I don't know what your rights are as far as the immigration status is, it seems you would hold the upper hand in this however.

You submitted the ROC already I see, speak with a lawyer if you can afford to. If you intend to separate, inform the USCIS that you are now separated and planning on divorcing. I'm not sure...but it might alter your case? And if you are divorced it might force him to refile a ROC waiver and the burden would be on him to prove he married you NOT to obtain a green card. In fact I think, don't quote me on this, that if you are separated during the ROC process you would have to inform the USCIS as it would be dishonest otherwise, yes?

My advice and for your safety is to put major distance between the two of you.


11/10/2007 married

12/17/2007 I-130 1-485 submitted

9/4/2008 AOS interview

1/29/2009 GC

12/15/2010 I-751 sent

5/7/2011 ROC approved

5/11/2011 email stating card production ordered

5/13/2011 approval letter received in mail

5/13/2011 GC sent to wrong address due to system error

5/16/2011 service request opened

5/16/2011 usps tracking number shows card undeliverable

6/13/2011 GC returned to VSC

6/15/2011 case status update shows card was mailed out to correct address

6/17/2011 GC received in mail

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Filed: Citizen (apr) Country: Australia

If you have indeed filed for ROC, send a letter to USICS revoking the "joint filing". He will need to file ROC with a waiver. If you haven't filed for ROC then don't worry about it.

Find a divorce lawyer and divorce him. He may need to pay you alimony, you may be eligible for 50% of his possessions (and him yours) but it really depends on your state laws.

As for reversing the greencard, unless you have PROOF he used you for a greencard there's nothing you can do.

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Did you file charges when he abused you? Did you tell anyone? If you filed charges, that may help stop the ROC.

Married: 01/02/09

I-130 filed: 11/06/09

NOA1: 11/13/09

NOA2: 02/11/10

NVC received: 02/18/10

Case complete @ NVC: 04/14/10

Interview @ Montreal: 07/13/10 - Approved

POE: Sweetgrass, MT, 08/07/10

Filed for ROC: 07/20/12

Biometrics appt: 08/24/12

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Filed: IR-1/CR-1 Visa Country: China

it wasn't an ROC, right? Just a simple adjustment of status.

Since the interview was in January, I suggest you get an infopass appointment for the local USCIS office that approved the paperwork, go in with as much documentation as you can (he's been working illegally, btw) and let them know that he married you for immigration purposes only, and you weren't certain of it until the day after the interview. Then see if is possible to get ICE involved for VISA fraud.

It's a pointed approach, sure, but that's all I can mention at this point - as the case was already approved.

Edited by Darnell

Sometimes my language usage seems confusing - please feel free to 'read it twice', just in case !
Ya know, you can find the answer to your question with the advanced search tool, when using a PC? Ditch the handphone, come back later on a PC, and try again.

-=-=-=-=-=R E A D ! ! !=-=-=-=-=-

Whoa Nelly ! Want NVC Info? see http://www.visajourney.com/wiki/index.php/NVC_Process

Congratulations on your approval ! We All Applaud your accomplishment with Most Wonderful Kissies !


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Didn't find the answer you were looking for? Ask our VJ Immigration Lawyers.

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