Extremely home sick

[~Laura and Nick~ 5]

"...My hair's mostly wind,

My eyes filled with grit

My skin's white then brown

My lips chapped and split

I've lain on the prairie and heard grasses sigh

I've stared at the vast open bowl of the sky

I've seen all the castles and faces in clouds

My home is the prairie and for that I am proud…

If You're not from the Prairie, you can't know my soul

You don't know our blizzards; you've not fought our cold

You can't know my mind, nor ever my heart

Unless deep within you there's somehow a part…

A part of these things that I've said that I know,

The wind, sky and earth, the storms and the snow.

Best say that you have - and then we'll be one,

For we will have shared that same blazing sun." - David Bouchard

It's something I guess we feel to the depth of our souls.

So beautiful! I'm not from the prairies but I can relate to this!!!

[~Laura and Nick~ 5]

It's weird to have a good home and a good marriage and yet to not be completely happy because something is STILL missing. People think you should always be happy - it's hard.

It's like postpartum depression all over again... you got this wonderful baby but you can't stop crying.

I can honestly say that having two amazing Canadian expat friends has helped me a ton - we get together every now and then and just talk and it's such a relief - I always leave feeling like a weight is off of me because I am not alone and I am not the only one who thinks spelling "cheque" as "check" is just plain wrong.

PS: I'm from South Jersey... we get the nitwits down here too.

Girl, I miss you!

Hang in there sweetie <3 Life is so difficult!

Nick and I talk about maybe moving somewhere neutral, like, Vermont....just to get away from Jersey but then I'm like, why should we both be away from our families. If we move from here the only logical place would be back to Canada near my family...and then maybe years down the road from that, we'll come back.

Sometimes I'm so confused...lol

Yay for South Jersey Nitwits!

[~Laura and Nick~ 5]

Nasty drivers here though. Holy moly! If one more woman in her mini van tries to stare me down I'm gonna have to ... I dunno ... stare right back. And try going to a concert around here, people are so aggressive and rude -- I don't get it. Awhile ago I was at a show at a small venue and this woman kept pushing me until I said, "You know where you're trying to stand? Well, I'm already standing there." She got all huffy. Only in NJ (and some parts of Pennsylvania). My husband tells me to get my Jersey up, but the Canadian in me just rolls her eyes.

(((((((Gypsy))))))))

I know exactly how you feel. I can't believe the aggression from some of these people. I see a lot of it from customers at my job with their armies of screaming kids. Maybe they get all their anger cause they have to drive around in their gas guzzlers in the god awful traffic each day and pay 12,000 a year in property taxes. I don't know.

Everyone back home is like "oh how nice it must be to live so close to the City, I'd drive in all the time"

Yeah right, 13 bucks every time you cross the bridge plus people who would kill you with their vehicle if you drive the speed limit. I just don't get it. lol

[Gypsyangel 11]

Yeah right, 13 bucks every time you cross the bridge plus people who would kill you with their vehicle if you drive the speed limit. I just don't get it. lol

So true! Awhile ago I was driving down a road (Rt 70 for you South Jersiers) and heard honking. I looked around wondering what was going on. It took me awhile to figure out it was the person tailgating me leaning on their horn. It's a multilane road, so they could have gone around and I was driving at least 5 mph over the speed limit. Only in NJ.

[thetreble 19]

haha I use the words "only in NJ" a lot.

I live 11 miles from NYC and haven't been there since July of last year. I could take the train, the bus or drive...but the expense just to get there and eat and walk for a few days is easily $100.00.

[Colleens 40]

I think I will like it more when I have friends and a Job... Im still a nobody.

It has been hard for me. With my EAD taking forever and getting it when I was 7.5 months pregnant, I wasn't even able to start working. Now that I have the LO I am on mat leave until the end of July and I need to start looking for a job. As much as I hate to send my LO to daycare I think I need to get out working and interacting with other adults again for my own sanity. My situation has made it very diffucult to meet friends, and most of the other moms I have met with LO's the age of mine are usually about 15yrs younger and there is a big generation gap. I have always met and made good friends through playing sports and I have not been able to do that since I have been here. I am hoping things turn around a bit. We are starting to plan moving back to Canada tho. We have a few legal issues to figure out first then we will be on our way. I did want to wait until I had citizenship, but I know that it would kill my family to wait that long!

[Canadiandggal 49]

It has been hard for me. With my EAD taking forever and getting it when I was 7.5 months pregnant, I wasn't even able to start working. Now that I have the LO I am on mat leave until the end of July and I need to start looking for a job. As much as I hate to send my LO to daycare I think I need to get out working and interacting with other adults again for my own sanity. My situation has made it very diffucult to meet friends, and most of the other moms I have met with LO's the age of mine are usually about 15yrs younger and there is a big generation gap. I have always met and made good friends through playing sports and I have not been able to do that since I have been here. I am hoping things turn around a bit. We are starting to plan moving back to Canada tho. We have a few legal issues to figure out first then we will be on our way. I did want to wait until I had citizenship, but I know that it would kill my family to wait that long!

Awe. See I am sorta in that same position. I have my cr-1 but I didnt find anything job wise within the first few months of be being here and bammmm Im pregnant (we work fast lol) So I am hoping that once the baby is here I will find a job and put him in daycare (although I will hate it). From there I hope to find some friends but we will see. Most people around here are much older than me , Not that its that big of a deal but there children are much older or they have the ability to do what they want when they want. OR younger than me with no children and again dont really want a friend with children.

Its ok, Not having friends while pregnant could be a good thing as I wont hurt anyone's feelings over the course of this pregnancy, (not that I have ever been a very hormonal person but better safe than sorry)

[canada_socks 97]

Plus I totally forgot how even the flight attendants spoke, raising their voice at the end of every sentence like it was a question. My parents don't do that, but I remember all my friends do that...

I totally talk like this! I am aware I do it and it drives me nuts! Usually when I am explaining something, like when I do new crew orientations at work. So annoying!

[Moosker 7]

How are you doing Laura?

[~Laura and Nick~ 5]

How are you doing Laura?

Hi Moosker, how are you?

Um....I'm feeling a bit better, these waves of homesickness are very strong sometimes and fade others. It's summer, we have some projects on the go for our house (a new deck and fence) and that's positive and something to look forward to but it still feels like a big waiting game till I'm able to apply for citizenship so we can move back.

Nick says that he will miss his family and part of him doesn't want to leave, what are we to do?

He wants to keep this little house if we move to Canada and rent it out and then if need be, we can move back. He says we should switch it up every few years....yeah right, if we were independently wealthy maybe! lol

I don't know what's going to happen.....only time will tell.

[Maeve 2]

I can relate to the homesickness too; I'm the USC, but I lived most of my life in Michigan, and am now in Kentucky. KY isn't too bad, and even tho I don't ever want to live in MI again, I always get that little twinge of happy every time I see a "Welcome to Michigan" sign...Pretty much my entire family lives there, so it is hard being so far away...

I don't think that my DH has any of those feelings about Canada - he was very happy to come to the US, but oddly enough I also get very excited every time we're in Canada! I really like it there! I do want the chance to get my citizenship and maybe to live there for a while. Now that DH is in boot camp and will be doing a job that gives him a lot of choices, there's a chance of maybe getting a post in Canada, which I'm pretty psyched for!

It doesn't seem odd to me at all to be so homesick - it's perfectly normal. I've never been happier to be with my DH, but our plan was always for him to join the military and we kept getting held up. I was miserable with my job and feeling stuck, and I always felt guilty for that, but one always has expectations and it sucks when they don't measure up... Its *awesome* that your husband is so supportive of your desire to go back to Canada - and if you both get dual citizenship, you can always come back

[Moosker 7]

I'm doing good My parents came to visit us last weekend, and of course, every time they leave I cry like a baby and then I'm okay again. I don't think it'll ever get better!

My husband and I are not opposed to moving more "north" one day, so we can be a lot closer to my family. I love and miss Canada, but it's not living in Canada that I miss, it's being so far from my family that I don't like!

I always try and think of people that are in worse situations. I had a friend that married a man in the military, 2 weeks after their wedding they moved to Japan, and now are living in Wisconsin, she is from NY. I guess it could always be worse, right?

Definitely give yourself things to look forward to! Oh, and a good cry always makes me feel better hehe

[Moosker 7]

P.S. -- do citizenship, that way if you want to move back and forth, it wouldn't be much of a hassle at all!

[Udella&Wiz 325]

Had my own mini meltdown on Saturday - my citizenship interview is in 2 days and I just flipped out. I had horrible misgivings about whether being a US citizen was the right thing to do. I'm not losiing my Cdn, but still for some reason it bugged me. I moved down here and started my life over in many ways, it's had negative consequences for my teenage daughter...it's just been a rough go and stressful at times the last 3+ yrs. I miss my family dreadfully - especially for the first few weeks after we've visited so this is normal for me to feel this way.

Although my husband has offered the idea that we should move north so we're halfway between the 2 families - I just can't picture starting out new again in another area. I would not lose my job since we can telework and neither would my husband but I'm finally getting used to everything here - found a hairdresser, good restaurants, places to shop, work friends who might become 'real' friends - you know what I mean?

We won't likely move back to Canada ever - it would mean huge paycuts for each of us and I sure as hell do not want to pay the HST in ON on virtually everything. I go back to Canada now and look at the price of everything and wonder how anybody lives.

[Krikit 1,163]

Moving SUCKS. Having said that, I am glad I moved here. FL was great, but this is close to perfect. Perfect would be having my friends and family here too.

I know what you mean about the citizenship thing, Udella. That's what's kept me from filing. It just doesn't feel "right".