The Other One

[V & J 7]

Hi all!

Does fiance(e)'s EX matter in the issue of K1/CR1 visa. I have read here where the interviewer questioned the visa beneficiary about 'the other one'.

Is it mandatory that the visa beneficiary should know all the EXs in the fiance(e)'s life

Also what if the beneficiary is not interested in knowing about all the past Exs'or fails to show any knowledge about the EX?

Is it a red flag or will it affect the visa officer's decision in issuing the visa?

[carolynhotstuff 252]

It's very important that the beneficary know all about ex-husbands. Their names, ages, reasons for the divorce. My husband was questioned about my ex-husband and it was very important to the CO that he knew the answers. It can affect the decision to issue the visa.

[Davecsfl 1]

This is only my opinion: If the consulate officer asks a question- Has your fiance(e) been married before and the beneficiary answers, I don't know, I think this may affect the decision. Why? Because the consulate officer may think that there may be information being withheld. Again, in my opinion, the fiance(e) should be made aware of the EX(s) and some of the circumstances that led to the divorce(s).

[Moomin 292]

Basically, if your fiance has been married before, filed an I-129f or has children with an ex I'd say it's important to atleast know the basics. But down to the last detail - no. For the purpose of simply knowing my fiance I asked him about that prior to meeting him in person. I reckon it's a matter of the paper trail you leave when they ask about prior marriages, and of course if they think that your future spouse has "forgotten to mention" some things.

It's the exact same thing with the I-129f. As the beneficiary you're required to put down the names of your children even if they're not joining you overseas. That way the petitioner is not in for a surprise down the road, the same way about violations(as far as I know).

Edited May 21, 2011 by moomin

[Andie 147]

I would have thought it would be part of a conversation during your relationship that your fiance/ee knows of any previous marriage or long term relationship (name, age etc of previous spouse or partner) and in that sense the interviewer may use that to find out how well you know each other.

[Nich-Nick 3,354]

London isn't going to quiz you about anything like that. It will be like a friendly chat. He may say, is "this the first marriage for both of you?" just to find out if the fiance bothered to say he/she was divorced. You won't have to know names and details. London does not grill you in any way.

[gretchen_darren 67]

just deal with it. Tell your fiance about it. Discuss it, then move on. It does not need to dragged out or hashed out repeatedly. But the fiance needs to know why, what hte reasons are, also, it shows you are human. Plus deal with why it failed because of You, deal with your imperfections so the fiance knows. Also, if you have kids, the ex WILL be around. Hard to get rid of the ex with kids.....

[Aztec&Taino 144]

Hi all!

Does fiance(e)'s EX matter in the issue of K1/CR1 visa. I have read here where the interviewer questioned the visa beneficiary about 'the other one'.

Is it mandatory that the visa beneficiary should know all the EXs in the fiance(e)'s life

Also what if the beneficiary is not interested in knowing about all the past Exs'or fails to show any knowledge about the EX?

Is it a red flag or will it affect the visa officer's decision in issuing the visa?

The consul will probably not be interested in ALL of the ex-somethings -boyfriends, girlfriends, etc. Yet, it is important disclosure to know if there were ex-husbands and ex-wives for the couple. This is essential must-know information at some consulates, and definitely must-know information for a serious relationship...

[V & J 7]

Thanks all for the response. Issues about our Exs do come up in our conversation from time to time. I know that to the visa officer it will show evidence of open, good relationship & communication afterall we all have past, good or bad.

[Gary and Alla 3,696]

Hi all!

Does fiance(e)'s EX matter in the issue of K1/CR1 visa. I have read here where the interviewer questioned the visa beneficiary about 'the other one'.

Is it mandatory that the visa beneficiary should know all the EXs in the fiance(e)'s life

Also what if the beneficiary is not interested in knowing about all the past Exs'or fails to show any knowledge about the EX?

Is it a red flag or will it affect the visa officer's decision in issuing the visa?

I would say YES. What the COs are doing is trying to establish that a qualifying relationship is present. If they cannot do that then the visa will be denied. Typically, people that are getting married know about the other's past life, at least to a point. For one thing she should be able to answer ANY question which was on the I-129f. That is where the COs would draw their questions anyway. Names of former spouse(s), when the marriage occured, when they were divorced, etc. I suppose it is not needed to know their favorite color.

It is particularly important if the EX's were also immigrants that were K-1 or CR-1 beneficiaries.

The worst thing that can happen is if the CO asks your fiancee "You will be his fourth wife in 20 years, what do you think is different about your relationship that will make it last more than 3 years?" If her answer is "WHAT???????? Fourth wife????????" You lose.

[Rushton50 10]

Thanks all for the response. Issues about our Exs do come up in our conversation from time to time. I know that to the visa officer it will show evidence of open, good relationship & communication afterall we all have past, good or bad.

What you are doing by discussing with your new partner is right in fact its a must, you hit the nail on the head Relationship & communication are vital for any marriage or relationship.

Your partners past may hurt her as much as it may madden you or may not depending on your demeanour, but here is my take on things from reading the odd post on this thread

One poster said that London will not grill you....Dont take thier word for it, just because they werent questioned about it does not mean to say others werent, we may never know unless they come here to post thier experiences.

In my opinion, if you truly know your significant other, you will know about thier achivements and tribulations, good days and bad days, likes and dislikes to know about thier past will help you learn to truly love and care for her/him and prevent making the same mistakes the others did to hurt thier partner.

Today on skype, my wife and I were discussing EXs and how I tend not to bring mine up as much as her and asked if she should stop....I said no, I need to know, but equally I told her more of my ex, which hurts me and know it hurts her to have to hear how I was treated, but she knows the triggers if she ever wanted to hurt me like my ex, but know she wouldnt and know she will avoid them.

In short, It is best to know about your partners past no matter how trivial they think it might be, but if you truly love them and know them, you will know of them regardless of any pain that it may contain.

If you have copies as we do of everything although ours will end up being a CR-1 and not K-1 now would be a good time to read up on past divorces, learn and understand them.

My wife and I have both said the same about getting married , "we aint doin this again" We have found our true soul mate!

[Nich-Nick 3,354]

The OP is interviewing in LONDON. They don't look at any evidence of your relationship. EVER. The questioning there goes like

So how did you guys meet? What does she do for a living? Oh, my sister is a nurse too. Where will you be living? Nice place. I lived in Smithville, not far from there. We liked the barbecue at Jack’s diner. OK, you're approved.

or copied from an interview last week

"How did you meet? Oh, that's really great." "When did you first go to visit? What? Your first visit to America was to Minnesota in the winter? Are you kidding?" "You seem like a really nice, genuine person." Approved.

It's all light chatter... like you met a person in a pub who was interested that you had a fiance in America. There is no quiz to determine if you know details about your fiance's whole life or if you are deeply in love. Some acceptable answers I've know people to give are--

How many times have you been over to see her? I dunno. Lots of times.

When did you propose? I didn't really. We just knew we wanted to get married someday.

It is very casual and short.

[baron555 934]

It's very important that the beneficary know all about ex-husbands. Their names, ages, reasons for the divorce. My husband was questioned about my ex-husband and it was very important to the CO that he knew the answers. It can affect the decision to issue the visa.

I disagree all they need yo know is that you were once married and now divorced and free yo marry. They can learn the names and reasons from the divorce decree copy you send them with the copy of the entire submittal fir the interview.

[JimVaPhuong 4,864]

The OP is interviewing in LONDON. They don't look at any evidence of your relationship. EVER. The questioning there goes like

So how did you guys meet? What does she do for a living? Oh, my sister is a nurse too. Where will you be living? Nice place. I lived in Smithville, not far from there. We liked the barbecue at Jack’s diner. OK, you're approved.

or copied from an interview last week

"How did you meet? Oh, that's really great." "When did you first go to visit? What? Your first visit to America was to Minnesota in the winter? Are you kidding?" "You seem like a really nice, genuine person." Approved.

It's all light chatter... like you met a person in a pub who was interested that you had a fiance in America. There is no quiz to determine if you know details about your fiance's whole life or if you are deeply in love. Some acceptable answers I've know people to give are--

How many times have you been over to see her? I dunno. Lots of times.

When did you propose? I didn't really. We just knew we wanted to get married someday.

It is very casual and short.

Agreed. The answer to the OP's question is very much dependent on the consulate, and from what I've seen here it isn't an issue in London. The exception might be if the beneficiary is a resident rather than a citizen of the UK, and is originally from a high fraud country.

[Gary and Alla 3,696]

The OP is interviewing in LONDON. They don't look at any evidence of your relationship. EVER. The questioning there goes like

So how did you guys meet? What does she do for a living? Oh, my sister is a nurse too. Where will you be living? Nice place. I lived in Smithville, not far from there. We liked the barbecue at Jack’s diner. OK, you're approved.

or copied from an interview last week

"How did you meet? Oh, that's really great." "When did you first go to visit? What? Your first visit to America was to Minnesota in the winter? Are you kidding?" "You seem like a really nice, genuine person." Approved.

It's all light chatter... like you met a person in a pub who was interested that you had a fiance in America. There is no quiz to determine if you know details about your fiance's whole life or if you are deeply in love. Some acceptable answers I've know people to give are--

How many times have you been over to see her? I dunno. Lots of times.

When did you propose? I didn't really. We just knew we wanted to get married someday.

It is very casual and short.

Alla's interview went like this...

"You are approved, here are your original documents. Take this and go to the Fedex window and arrange to deliver your passport and visa. Welcome to the United States"

Shall we assume that ALL interviews in Kiev are the same?