flirting= harmless?

[mike42979 57]

I would like to hear what the OP has to say again, to me it is obvious that if you have to even ask the question then morally you feel something is not right and the flirting may have escalated beyond friendly banter.

OP please share the experience you had and what exactly happened so people can give you a more accurate answer, also is the OP the man or the Woman? it doesnt matter if you are the man or woman but it will help add context to what you are asking.

[~happyndinlove~ 540]

Is flirting harmless? Do you guys flirt with co-workers?

Have you ever asked your spouse if this behavior is OK? I'm sure that you will be interested to know what her/his answer would be. And vice versa.

Just try if you haven't yet... and please, fail not to let VJ people know what your spouse had to say.

Edited May 21, 2011 by ~happyndinlove~

[SteveandAilyn 0]

My Wife is the only one for me and I would not want to hurt her by making her think someone else could hold my affections. Same for her, I would not want her to do it to me. We are for each other and no other.

[Matt_Stevens 5]

Some of you are pretty serious.

Now, I will give you an example. My wife is here with three of her girlfriends. I come in from a run. I'm hot, sweaty, it was a good run. They all say "Hi, Matt!" and engage me in conversation.

I then say, "Well, I really need a shower. Who's taking on with me?"

The girls all start laughing.

That's flirting and it's harmless. It doesn't mean anything because it's just a simple joke. My wife laughed just as hard as her girlfriends.

But I don't flirt on a level that some of you here are likely thinking. No need. I have a super hot wife. I prefer flirting with her.

[quann 26]

the above to me is a joke...and not a flirt.

flirting would be you to one of your wife's gf "hey i like how you did your hair today...". one is funny, the other is just awkward.

[Helen Louise Pile 80]

Wow.

Everyone is so harsh!

If my husband tells a girl he likes her hair or outfit or tells a guy he likes his hair or outfit or tells my Mum he thinks she looks nice today... it makes me feel good to have a husband who wants to give a genuine compliment to other people.

Don't make flirting sexual and you have no problem. You should not be showing sexual interest in other people when you are married. Obviously.

If your wife/husband is insecure they may have a problem when you compliment another person and accuse you of 'flirting'.

If you are intentionally being sexually suggestive and this is your definition of 'Flirting'...then it doesn't matter how secure the other person is...they probably won't like that...unless you have that agreement in your marriage. In addition to this...there is a time and place for everything, even when you are single, 'Flirting' in this way in the work place is likely to reflect badly on you in the States.

(in my opinion...which doesn't even matter...what matters in the opinion on your spouse)

[Matt_Stevens 5]

the above to me is a joke...and not a flirt.

flirting would be you to one of your wife's gf "hey i like how you did your hair today...". one is funny, the other is just awkward.

I compliment my wife's gf's from time to time. That's not flirting. That's just being nice. It helps they are all easy on the eyes.

[jnjune30 0]

mmm Flirting, with or with no intention is not correct, is like not giving you SO loved one the place that he/she deserve every moment of the day, i can bet my life that if i guy knows that his significant other do that at work or at bar, or what ever, with no intention, he wont be so pleased about it. So my question is why flirting with a co-worker or with a friend or with a girl you knew ( by the way it does not matter it you do it online, is the same), when YOU ¨SUPPOSED¨ to be in love of some one else? i just don´t get it, for me is flirting=cheating.

Nick&Justin

[jnjune30 0]

And well yes it will depends on every couples definition or concept about flirting, for me flirting with or with no intention, like in a casual conversation with someone that you know. Like this (this happen to me):

** I had enough of the ROYAL WEDDING, i don´t care if royalty gets married, we don´t have in MEXICO so what should i care, besides i would get married much easier if don´t pay anything for my wedding**

**he said to me: **OH COME ON EVERY GIRL WANTS TO GET MARRIED THAT WAY, HAVING A BIG AND ELEGANT WEDDING, AND YOU ARE ONE OF THEM**

moments later the conversation , we were on facebook , he opened a private window and he said**

**if some one give to me money to get married, would you marry me?**

**a reply *you have to be kidding me, you will get marry to someone if they pay it and it will be for free?**

**and he reply ,**not to someone, i will marry you**

for me this is flirting, even though i tried to dismissed it and not give it that much attention he did not give up, i mean the conversation turn a really uncomfortable, actually i had to wrote down repeatedly that i was going to get married next year on June 30.

[Penny Lane 8,159]

Only Ones Own Morals could answer this question. To me: NO... There is a difference between "Flatter/Flirt" but they are both separate.

Example: A Co-Worker is wearing a short Mini-skirt and you say: YOU LOOK HOT Today. That is a Flirt. Though maybe to you only meant to Flatter.

Best words would be: You look Nice Today and that is a COMPLEMENT and Not a Flatter or Flirt.

Women loved to be told they Look Pretty everyday and never get tired of it. US Men Have to be really Careful what we say so it is never taken the wrong way.

So, No.. It is Not Correct to flirt Married or Engaged. Just me.

Please do not attempt to speak for all women. If male coworkers at work told me I looked nice or hot, I'd be creeped out and a little offended. I don't need coworkers (or strangers) commenting on my looks. Not all women love that.

Edited May 21, 2011 by Coconuts

[~happyndinlove~ 540]

If male coworkers at work told me I looked nice or hot, I'd be creeped out and a little offended. I don't need coworkers (or strangers) commenting on my looks. Not all women love that.

Agreed!

[Dau Que 6]

Flirt all you want but make sure it doesn't come to a point in which the other party responds back to you with this:

" Do Vo Duyen Thui"

Don't understand what that means? Ask your wife! It's a Vnese forum, isn't it?

[Matt_Stevens 5]

Political Correctness has made society overly sensitive.

If a co-worker comes in with a new hair style and it looks nice, it is not wrong to say, "I love what you did with your hair. It looks great." But today women are taught to think that any compliment from a man is an unwanted sexual advance and men are taught that if they give a compliment, they are a pig.

Sorry, but in my view, that is blatantly stupid.

[Penny Lane 8,159]

Political Correctness has made society overly sensitive.

If a co-worker comes in with a new hair style and it looks nice, it is not wrong to say, "I love what you did with your hair. It looks great." But today women are taught to think that any compliment from a man is an unwanted sexual advance and men are taught that if they give a compliment, they are a pig.

Sorry, but in my view, that is blatantly stupid.

I'm a woman and I was never taught that. I don't need to be "taught" what makes me feel comfortable or uncomfortable. Would a comment about my haircut make me feel awkward? No. But a "Hey, your body looks great in those pants!" sure would. Even though they're both compliments. I take offense to the assumption that all women want to hear comments about how they look every day because they can't get enough of it.

[Matt_Stevens 5]

When did I say anything like "Hey you're body looks great" is flirting or that it is okay to say something like that?

Answer: I didn't.