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KolinaB

Immidiate advice needed! PLEASE SOMEONE HELP!!!!!!

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Hi,

I have been a member of visajourney for almost a year now and I know that one can always seek for help here and that there will always be someone willing to help.

I have one really big problem and I really need some advice.

I arrived to USA 4.5 months ago, got married 2.5 months ago. I'm still waiting for my EAD, so I'm not able to work at this moment. My husband and I have only one car, which he uses to go to work. He works like 60 to 65 hours a week and every single day. He had to take a part time job soon after I arrived so that we are able to pay all the bills. The only time we spend together is during the night when we sleep in the same bed, and in the morning when we dink our coffees together.

Besides him and his family (his mom and dad who don't live with us) I have nobody here in the whole United States. As for his parents, I don't like spending much time with them because they make me really nervous and anxious, just because of the way they are (they tend to panic a lot. So, I don't have my EAD, I don't have a car and I can't go anywhere, I don't have any friends who could come and visit me (all of my husband's friends are as busy).

I have tried reading to keep my mind occupied, I clean the house even when there's no need for that, I spend some time online, on Skype chatting with my family, but still I am very very alone, I am nervous, anxious, on the edge. Lots of times I feel like I'd rather be buried alive than have to go through the day. I am just so depressed and I don't know how to cope with that anymore.

I might just give up on everything and just go back home, I really can't stand the situation.

My husbands tries to understand me and comfort me when he's home, but he doesn't really understand what I'm going through. I never imagined my life like this, closed between the walls and always inside this house. I cry all the time take anti-depressants. I have had a terrible time since I've come to USA, coping with loneliness and stuff like that.

I don't know what to do, I am a total mess these days. Could anyone please help with some advice..

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Filed: Citizen (apr) Country: Morocco
Timeline

Perhaps you can volunteer at a local place where you can interact, network and meet new friends? Discover your local neighborhood and learn how to get around by transportation? Get out more...studies claim that getting at least 15 mins of fresh air everyday is healthy (F)

01/2006 - Filed k1(1st time)

04/2006 - Interview (1st time) denied

Waited, waited...... no review

06/2009 - Filed k1 (2nd time)

09/2009 - NOA 2 approved

12/2009 - Interview (2nd time) APPROVED! VISA ISSUED

02/2010 - Arrived USA

04/2010 - Married

AOS Timeline

4/19/2010-Sent to Chicago Lockbox

4/26/2010-Received texts and emails 7th day

4/30/2010-Received NOA's(Hardcopies) 11th day

5/3/2010-Received ASC appointment notice(mailed 4/29/2010)14th day

5/7/2010-Walk-in Biometrics done(2 weeks earlier)18th day

5/13/2010-Case transferred to CSC

6/2/2010- Case received/resumed at CSC

6/18,6/22,6/23 AOS touches

6/28/2010- EAD production and touch on AP

6/29/2010-AOS APPROVED

7/2/2010- 2nd update on EAD production and touched on AP....

7/6/2010- Received "Welcome Letter" and AP document

7/12/2010-Received GREEN CARD and EAD

greencard.jpg

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Filed: Citizen (apr) Country: Nigeria
Timeline

can you possibly learn to take public transportation to maybe sight see. I know there is probably a chance your husband can by you a monthly bus pass and you can learn to take the bus to entertain yourself. What about other members on VJ that maybe have settled in your state that are from your same country. I am sorry you are lonely good luck!!!! :thumbs:

November 5, 2010 Interview 7am APPROVED!!!!!! (6months 4weeks 1day) THANK YOU LORD!!!!!

(look at my about me page in my profile if you want to see my entire k1 journey)

AOS Journey:

Feb.4, 2011 Mailed AOS packet

Feb. 7, 2011 Pkt delivered in Chicago

Feb. 10, 2011 Received txt and email of NOA for AOS, EAD, and AP

Feb. 11, 2011 Check cashed for AOS

Feb. 12, 2011 Touched

Feb. 14, 2011 received hard copy of NOA for AOS, EAD& AP

Feb. 18, 2011 received appt letter for biometrics

Feb. 28, 2011 biometrics appt @10am

Feb. 28, 2011 received txt/email AOS case transferred to csc

Mar 1, 2011 AOS Touched

Mar 3, 2011 received hard copy of AOS transfer to csc

Mar 4, 2011 AOS Touched

Mar 28, 2011 Received txt/email saying card production has been ordered. (1month 3eeks 3days)

Mar 28, 2011 Received 2nd txt/email saying we have registered this customer permanent residence status

Mar 29, 2011 Received 3rd txt/email says card production has been ordered.

April 1, 2011 greencard and welcome letter in hand!!

April 5, 2011 received txt/email EAD card production ordered

Will Start Removing Conditions Dec 2012!!!!

Dec. 26, 2012 mailed ROC paperwork

Dec. 28, 2012 NOA for ROC paperwork

Jan. 7, 2013 received bio appt letter

Jan. 24, 2013 bio appt.

June 22, 2013 10yr green card received

68z00wwuiyl.png

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Sorry to read what you are going thru..

Find something to volunteer for something close to home so you don't have to drive. That't a nice way to meet people and make friends. For example (Hosptial, nursing homes, animal shelter..so many to chose from)

Go for walks if you live in a warm area.

All the best

Citizenship next step!

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Filed: Other Timeline

What you are going through right now is only temporary. Very soon you will be able to work, make some money, get a car, and be free to explore your new home country. It's like being inside an airplane for 16 hours: it really sucks. Soon this will all change for the better.

There is no room in this country for hyphenated Americanism. When I refer to hyphenated Americans, I do not refer to naturalized Americans. Some of the very best Americans I have ever known were naturalized Americans, Americans born abroad. But a hyphenated American is not an American at all . . . . The one absolutely certain way of bringing this nation to ruin, of preventing all possibility of its continuing to be a nation at all, would be to permit it to become a tangle of squabbling nationalities, an intricate knot of German-Americans, Irish-Americans, English-Americans, French-Americans, Scandinavian-Americans or Italian-Americans, each preserving its separate nationality, each at heart feeling more sympathy with Europeans of that nationality, than with the other citizens of the American Republic . . . . There is no such thing as a hyphenated American who is a good American. The only man who is a good American is the man who is an American and nothing else.

President Teddy Roosevelt on Columbus Day 1915

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Filed: Citizen (apr) Country: Canada
Timeline

What about putting out a flyer in your area and do some babysitting or maybe watching some neighbours kids after their schools if the parents dont get home right away?

Or you could put a flyer and do some dog walking service for people in your area too.

if you have a church close by you could join a church group maybe? sometimes they also have social events for people in the area too.

-------------------------------------------- as1cE-a0g410010MjgybHN8MDA5Njk4c3xNYXJyaWVkIGZvcg.gif

Your I-129f was approved in 5 days from your NOA1 date.

Your interview took 67 days from your I-129F NOA1 date.

AOS was approved in 2 months and 8 days without interview.

ROC was approved in 3 months and 2 days without interview.

I am a Citizen of the United States of America. 04/16/13

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Filed: IR-5 Country: Philippines
Timeline

I feel for you. You are not alone Kolina. There's people here in vj who can assure you that. Hang on tight and this will sure pass.

By the way, can you let us know where are you from? As Patient2010 mentioned, maybe there are vjers who are from your country to interact with.

You can also check friendster or facebook and find people in your area who came from your home country. This is silly but I did this after my son was born. I was so depressed that I cry constantly. I googled... "Filipinas in Denton, TX". haha.. I found one.. and she's just two blocks away from me. I was so happy and we're good friends to this day.

Hoping for your best..

IR-5 Petition for Mother:

12-31-10 - Sent Form I-130

01-04-11 - NOA 1

01-10-11 - Check cashed

05-09-11 - NOA 2

----------

05-18-11 - Case Number, IIN, E-mailed DS-3032

05-19-11 - Paid AOS Fee $88.00

05-23-11 - AOS shows "PAID"

05-24-11 - Paid IV Fee $404.00

05-26-11 - IV Fee shows "PAID"

05-28-11 - Mailed I-864

06-13-11 - I-864 accepted

06-20-11 - Mailed DS-230

07-07-11 - SIF and Case Complete

07-19-11 - Passed the two-day medical

09-06-11 - Visa Approved

09-08-11 - Visa On-Hand

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How long have you been taking the anti-depressants? If you're still feeling this bad after 3-4 weeks (with most kinds) then you need to see the prescribing physician again because you might need to switch type and/or dose.

I realise you want to remain anonymous, but just a closest town/ city and state could help someone reach out to you.

What are the state regulations about driving on your license and does hubby actively use his car at work (to get to different meetings, for example). We usually only have one vehicle and Ry doesn't really need it while he's at work, so I drop him off and pick him up. This allows me the use of the car during the day and OMG, it's awesome!

I completely understand not wanting to hang out 24/7 with his folks but do they drive? Maybe finding a class that's on once a week and asking them if they would mind taking you and bringing you home. A simple "I'm really interested in getting to know people and becoming part of the community but need your help" is the only explanation you need.

Does he have friends with girlfriends/ wives of their own? I got very frustrated once when I kept suggesting we invite so and so over "for dinner or something" and Ry wasn't interested, because "we don't really hang out like that." I ended up hinting to him that he might not hang out with his buddies "like that" but I really needed to meet people and inviting his friends over with their significant others allowed me to get to know the women, if anything.

Don't give up yet. It honestly takes a couple of years to start feeling like you belong and are starting to settle. It's worth talking to your hubby about what's going to happen once you can start work. Will he give up one of the jobs, how will you get to work. Having a plan gives you something to look forward to and keep focusing on.

((Hugs)) and keep on trucking :)

Timeline Summary:

K-1/K-2 NOA1 - POE: 9 February - 9 July 2010

Married: 17 July 2010

AOS mailed - Interview : 22 November 2010 - 10 March 2011

ROC mailed - approved: 14 February - 18 June 2013

Citizenship mailed - ceremony: 9 February - 7 June 2017

 

VJ K-2 AOS Guide

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Filed: Citizen (pnd) Country: Mongolia
Timeline

Ladydare and Mofoccogirlny gave some really good advice, The best thing you can do to get through this temporary situation is to volunteer. From reading your post it is obvious that you are a fluent speaker so there should be no language barrier. Volunteering is not only good for the people that you will be helping, but it will give you a sense of purpose, of belonging and of accomplishment. There are always organizations that need volunteers but moreso during the Holidays. Start with a local church. it does not matter what your or their religion is, whether it is the same or different, It is about helping others. Churches not only have volunteering possibilities but social groups too. Ask your local churches, schools public library, hospital etc....and even private organizations like the Girl Scouts or even a food bank, or shelter for abused women or the homeless. Without knowing where you are it is almost impossible to be more specific, but if you call one of these suggestions, they can help you to find other possibilities. Hang in there!

th_Untitled-3.jpg?t=1294114030

03/2008--Met while working together in Mongolia
06/21/10--Married in Ulaanbaatar on the Summer solstice
USCIS
09/06/10--I-130 package mailed to USCIS Chicago Lockbox
12/14/10--NOA2 hardcopy rec'd, Dec 09 notice date<APPROVED>86 Days
NVC
12/22/10-NVC / IIN Number issued, AOS bill paid
12/26/10-DS-3032 emailed
January4............IV bill paid, discovered error by preparer
USCIS ROUND 2
01/04/11-- I-130 package for stepson sent express with expedite plea
01/11/11---Congressional expedite plea lodged with USCIS
01/20/11--- Notice date, APPROVED 14 days
NVC ROUND 2
01/26/11--- NVC/IIN Numbers issued, DS-3032 Emailed
02/07/11--- AOS/IV packages fedexed to NVC
02/24/11--- Both Cases Completed at NVC
CONSULAR
04/27/11--- Interview passed
05/29/11--- POE ORD
08/2011--- I-551s arrive

heart.gif NEW YEAR'S EVE 2011, WE WELCOME OUR BABY GIRL TO THE FAMILYheart.gif

REMOVAL OF CONDITIONS

04/18/13--- I-751 mailed

09/25/13---ROC approval

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You've gotten a lot of good suggestions and I really don't have any to add-just wanted to let you know you're definitely not alone in this. MANY people go through this kind of thing, when it seems like you're waiting for everything and can't do anything.

Hang in there. It will get better, I promise. (F)

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I COMPLETELY understand what your going through.

I didn't drive before I came here, so i was isolated by the fact that we had one car and I couldn't drive even if I wanted to! My husbands job often meant that he would work 60-70 hours and his job took him out of town for days on end too. I felt like I was going crazy, was constantly taking it out him and he felt like he was having to take care of someone helpless - helpless is something I had never considered myself as before. I felt overwhelmed by everything and my mental state and his long hours made us fight so much. We didn't have friends who lived close and social outings were rare due to hubby's hours.

Then the EAD arrived! Just being able to look for work opened possibilities and improved my mental state. I bought a pushbike and rode the 2 miles to the minimum wage job I had been able to find (riding a pushbike is not fun in Florida heat.....but to get out of the house I would have done ANYTHING!) I found another job, saved for a car, learnt to drive, got promoted and now earn a great wage and work my butt off for 50 hours a week!

I'd stay stick with it. Consider some of the above suggestions. Look at the man you love and the reason you came here. Remember that things will get better if your determined enough to get through this period of isolation. Remember it is OKAY for you to feel overwhelmed, and give yourself a break for feeling the way you feel....but not to much of a break that you dont look and consider all options available to you.

Good luck, and if you ever need to vent......hundreds of people here know what you are going through.

K1

PLEASE SEE MY TIMELINE FOR K1 INFORMATION

AOS complete!

08/21/2009 - AOS package sent

08/28/2009 - NOA 1 for AOS, EAD, AP

08/31/2009 - Cheque cashed

09/05/2009 - Biometrics notice received

09/23/2009 - Biometrics Appointment

09/23/2009 - I-485 Transferred to CSC

10/02/2009 - EAD Approved (card production) & AP approved!

10/11/2009 - EAD Card received

10/20/2009 - AOS approved, GC card production ordered! (53 days in total)

10/26/2009 - Green Card received - nearly 11 months to the day of our K1 NOA 1!

11/25/2009 - Started my new job!

02/26/2010 - Passed my driving test :-p

07/20/2011 - Eligible to remove conditions

2012 - Going for citizenship

09/20/2011 - Removal of conditions submitted to VSC....here we go...again!

It's been a quick and relatively painless journey thanks to tireless research, dumb luck and this community :)

DONE with USCIS for a while :)

mnb0ir.png

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Filed: AOS (pnd) Country: Philippines
Timeline

Hmm...your post sounds very similar to one I posted a day ago. :whistle: But I can relate. Take all the advice you can get. This will all be over in a bit.

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Filed: K-1 Visa Country: Colombia
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Could anyone please help with some advice..

Hi KolinaB

If you would at least tell us what city you're in, we could make some sugestions..

My fiancee/now wife, arrived in the US on Dec 3rd.. That was a thursday, she waisted no time in finding ways to occupy her time.. By monday afternoon, she was enrolled in the Adult Education Program, Gymnasium, and Making the home hers... I live in Del Rio, Texas. Population is 37000.. It's a small town and 150 mile from the closest big city.. She immediately began driving using her Colombian Drivers License and is a real go-get'r... She's been in her class at the Adult ed ctr for less than 2 weeks and is already leading the class in a christmas production..

Not everyone has that kind of social ability, but the point is find something that you are passionate about doing and make it yours.. dive in to one or two things and remember your situation is temperary..

Fincancial issues affect everyone one today.. those that say diferently are not being honest, everyone has to watch extra expenses. But, some added expenses are simply necessary. I beleive your husband will understand your needs. He should be more than willing to help you find something to get into..

I hope you can be creative and look for ways to fill your time.. It would be really sad to see you return home over this after all the effort you both made to get this far.. Don't let this short-term thing ruin all you've done. There are solutions if you and your husband are able to work together to find them..

Kenny

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I'm so sorry your feeling this way, but I agree--give it some more time! Don't give up yet!

I agree with all of the advice given here, and I wanted to add that, if public transportation is an option, check out www.meetup.com. You can find groups of people interested in all kinds of things--sports, arts and crafts, etc. Also, check out your local library; they may have free classes you can participate in. Community college adult ed departments, community centers, YMCA, county department of parks and recreation are also good places to look for free or low cost activities.

I second the advice to go for a walk every day! I too have read that at least 5 minutes of outdoor sunlight every day helps to boost your mood significantly.

Check and see if your neighborhood or town has a women's association, or a group of ladies that gets together to play cards or bunko or something.

If there is no public transportation, maybe your husband can drop you off somewhere (like the mall, or a downtown area) on his way to work (depending on what time he goes in, of course) so that at least you can get out of the house and wander around a couple days a week. Is there anything interesting in the area around his job? Shops? Restaurants? Library? Park?

Good luck, and take care!

IR-5

  • USCIS scan date - 11/07/2014
  • NVC scan date - 03/06/2015
  • NVC case complete - 08/01/2015
  • Interview scheduled - 09/14/2015
  • Interview - 10/08/2015
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Hi,

I have been a member of visajourney for almost a year now and I know that one can always seek for help here and that there will always be someone willing to help.

I have one really big problem and I really need some advice.

I arrived to USA 4.5 months ago, got married 2.5 months ago. I'm still waiting for my EAD, so I'm not able to work at this moment. My husband and I have only one car, which he uses to go to work. He works like 60 to 65 hours a week and every single day. He had to take a part time job soon after I arrived so that we are able to pay all the bills. The only time we spend together is during the night when we sleep in the same bed, and in the morning when we dink our coffees together.

Besides him and his family (his mom and dad who don't live with us) I have nobody here in the whole United States. As for his parents, I don't like spending much time with them because they make me really nervous and anxious, just because of the way they are (they tend to panic a lot. So, I don't have my EAD, I don't have a car and I can't go anywhere, I don't have any friends who could come and visit me (all of my husband's friends are as busy).

I have tried reading to keep my mind occupied, I clean the house even when there's no need for that, I spend some time online, on Skype chatting with my family, but still I am very very alone, I am nervous, anxious, on the edge. Lots of times I feel like I'd rather be buried alive than have to go through the day. I am just so depressed and I don't know how to cope with that anymore.

I might just give up on everything and just go back home, I really can't stand the situation.

My husbands tries to understand me and comfort me when he's home, but he doesn't really understand what I'm going through. I never imagined my life like this, closed between the walls and always inside this house. I cry all the time take anti-depressants. I have had a terrible time since I've come to USA, coping with loneliness and stuff like that.

I don't know what to do, I am a total mess these days. Could anyone please help with some advice..

first of all if you love your husband, erase thoughts of going home. then since you have access to a pc, lookup the bus services for your state/count and take a trip to your tourism center, look up maps going to your local library, church etc and see what activities they have, -most are free. there's a lot that will get you out of the house and out of depression. look up maps to your park etc. if the weather is nice and your neighborhood looks safe, take talks. they will refresh/relax you. look up associations of your country and see if there's any member living nearby.

take up a hobby to take your mind off loneliness. :)

I-129F, AOS, ROC

02-11-2008 Sent out I -129F in mail

02-13-2008 NOA 1

03-14-2008 NOA 2

04-07-2008 Medical exam passed

04-25-2008 Interview, visa aproved, no RFEs!

04-25-2008 Waiting for DELBROS/NSO

05-07-2008 Visa on hand ! Wow, less than 3 months! Thank you Lord!

05-26-2008 POE Detroit, no problems, thank God!

07-01-2008 Married 07-01-08, civil, just us w/ his parents

07-16-2008 Mailed out AOS package

07-19-2008 wedding ceremony

08-19-2008 biometrics appointment

08-25-2008 i-485 touched

09-23-2008 i-485 touched

09-30-2008 i-131 approval notice THANK YOU LORD!!!!

10-04-2008 Received my EAD

10-06-2008 Received my AP...yehey, i can go back to Phil for xmas!

11-14-2008 DMV driving test-passed! thank you Lord!

11-18-2008 Received RI driver's license

11-30-2008 Went home to PHILs for the holidays

12-21-2008 Church wedding!

01-08-2009 AOS Approved! thank you Lord! no interview required!

01-16-2009 Received GC in mail

09-02-2010 Sent out application for ROC

09-08-2010 Received NOA1

09-10-2010 Received Biometrics Notice

10-06-2010 Biometrics

12-06-2010 Approved! Thank you Lord God!

12-11-2010 Received NOA2 and 10-yr GC in the mail =)

N-400

10-03-2011 Sent N-400

10-07-2011 NOA1 date

10-25-2011 Biometrics

12-02-2011 Civics Test/Interview (passed)

04-09-2012 Oathtaking (got my little USA flag and souvenir photo!)

Matthew at 1yr

DSCF6924-2.jpg[/img]

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