Couples: What made you decide to live in US

[monyfer 27]

Hello, all!

I haven't seen any topics similar to this and would love to hear from other intercultural couples how you arrived at the decision to come live in the US together as opposed to the home country of your partner (or your home country).

To be honest, this was a tough decision for us. My fiance is from Mexico. We met when I was studying there. Because of this, I know his culture fairly well and am fluent in Spanish. Before we decided to get engaged, given the fact that it would have been very difficult for him to immigrate to the US, I moved to Mexico. I actually thought I would enjoy living here, like I had before, and that we may have stayed here long term. I have lived abroad a lot, and never considered myself very "All American" - I hate sports but I love different cultures and languages and consider myself very open and adaptable. I actually never thought I would live in the US long term.

Maybe as I have gotten older, I have come to respect more the things about the US that other parts of the world do not have. Or, maybe I have just grown more set in my ways. While there are many wonderful things about Mexico: the food is great, the people are warm, the cost of living is generally less, my partner has a huge, loving family, life is more laid back in general...but after living here for about six months, I realized that I probably could not live here long term and raise children here. MRight now in Mexico, the security situation in the country continues to decline. We see dozens of murders on the news every week. Granted, the danger is mostly targeted to those involved in the drug world...but you never know when you would be at the wrong place at the wrong time. The worshipping of drug culture here is also very integrated into the culture: the music, the fashion, tv/music....I just don't know if I feel comfortable with my children growing up with that. Also, although my partner has a WONDERFUL job here, job opportunities in general are not as abundant here and, despite the lower cost of living, the pay is much less in comparison with the US. Also, things aren't as inexpensive as you think: a lot of the clothing, electronics, house goods, etc, is imported and over priced here.

Of course, by my fiance coming to the US, I am afraid that he won't be able to get a job as good as what he has here. I am afraid that he will miss the open, warm family environment and just his whole culture in general. I am afraid he won't be happy. I know one of us has to make the sacrifice, and all things being equal, I just think the US is better for us right now. But it has been a hard decision.

I would love to hear from others going through this dilemma!

Edited October 22, 2010 by monyfer

[^_^ 5,021]

The real question is, why don't people move to Australia, the land of gold and honey?

[thelastpetitioner 218]

we have to live in the states because of SO's job,he is stationed in california,to be honest i would have prefered a lowkey country where it would have been easier for my family to visit,but every relationship is like an investment and mine is more than worth it

[carolynhotstuff 252]

My husband and I have decided to live in the USA because of several reasons. Pakistan is a developing Country. There are power outages for many hours everyday and also the wages from jobs can be very low. If they have traffic laws there you would never know it and it is rare to see women driving. The number one reason we have decided to live here is that Pakistan is not safe for me as an American.

There are many freedoms that we enjoy as Americans that we take for granted. The Pakistani government can ban this or ban that at any time and I'm just not used to that. I am not Muslim and the culture is very different from what I am used to. My husband can practice his faith very easily here, it is not the same for me in Pakistan. I am blessed that my husband is very open minded and wants to embrace the American way of life while still retaining his spirituality.

I have been to Pakistan twice. Each time I spent 97% of my time in the house because my husband was worried about my safety. I really missed being able to jump in my car and go. I missed the freedom that comes with being a woman in the USA.

My husband has a huge family and many friends. He doesn't realize it but he will get home sick. We are hoping he will be able to get back to Pakistan every couple of years.

[Colleens 40]

My husband was in the army, so we really had no choice at the time. He is out now, and we have talked about the possibility of moving back to Canada in the future. We will definitely wait until I can get my citizenship so that we will have the choice of where we want to live. Where we live in the US the cost of living is a fair bit cheaper than in Canada, but the salaries are not as high either. The cost of health care will be another major factor in our decision. Although he has family in this area, we would have a lot more family support if we lived in Canada.

[pervez 4]

I plead insanity

[pervez 4]

I plead insanity

But no really there's a bit of truth to that statement, there's more nutters per-capita in many domestic locations than in any other country / region I've traveled to.

I long for somewhere where you don't have gun toting holy rollers yearning for a return to medieval feudal society where every tribe/clan is left to fend for themselves.

Edited October 22, 2010 by pervez

[Penguin_ie 6,002]

We started off in my country, Ireland. My USC husband came over to live with me as immigration there was easier, plus I was more settled with a good career, he "just" had a job. Plus we wanted kids and there is 26 weeks paid maternity leave in Ireland

But once we had the twins,we wanted to be close to family (I have none to speak of in Ireland, and my husband has a brother and sister here in Arkansas), plus we were able to buy a 4 bedroom house for the price of half of our one bedroom flat in Dublin, plus the Arkansas economy was somewhat better than the Irish one.

[^_^ 5,021]

I long for somewhere where you don't have gun toting holy rollers yearning for a return to medieval feudal society where every tribe/clan is left to fend for themselves.

I feel bad for you guys who actually have to put up with those freaks in real life. My only experience with them is online and on the TV. There are freaks I have to put up with in real life, but they are of a whole other variety.

Edited October 22, 2010 by \

[alienlovechild 75]

But no really there's a bit of truth to that statement, there's more nutters per-capita in many domestic locations than in any other country / region I've traveled to.

I long for somewhere where you don't have gun toting holy rollers yearning for a return to medieval feudal society where every tribe/clan is left to fend for themselves.

Worst answer on this thread as it doesn't explain why you live in the U.S.

Life in Iceland must be worse than I thought.

[pervez 4]

Worst answer on this thread as it doesn't explain why you live in the U.S.

Life in Iceland must be worse than I thought.

The first one did, that's the short version. The longer one is that wife wanted to go to grad school and those generally require decent language skills so it's easiest to study in a language you know.

Yes life in "marxist" Europe is horrible and ungodly. So much that I can't wait to go back for Christmas, new years and eventually move back. Uness of course sensible people prevail and then we'd all be more relaxed and comfortable here.

Edited October 22, 2010 by pervez

[웃 910]

It was between the us and Australia so the choice was a no brainer

[HeatDeath 431]

My wife, the USC, is of Italian descent , and has a large extended family she is very close to. My family is much smaller and we're all not anywhere near as close. Uprooting her would be deeply traumatic. So I moved to the US.

Edited October 22, 2010 by HeatDeath

[spookyturtle 9,466]

The real question is, why don't people move to Australia, the land of gold and honey?

:devil:

It was between the us and Australia so the choice was a no brainer

I didn't know you were living in Australia.

[Kathryn41 3,205]

It was a pragmatic decision for us. My husband had a good job that was secure and paid 3 times what my job did. My job was term specific depending on the person I worked for getting re-elected each election. My husband owned a house, and I rented a one bedroom apartment so we would both have to move rather than just one of us. I was tired of long winters and he lived where they had long summers (although he prefers the cold weather so we may end up back in Canada, yet, especially as we both get older and retirement issues become a major concern). We are equal distance from both of our families so that wasn't a major factor, especially in this age of modern technology. It just seemed to make more sense for me to relocate than it did for him.