muslims and stokes interview

[nab 74]

for those who have had an interview like this i am curious about some things.

have any of you had 'intimate' questions that i've seen posted on VJ, such as "what position..."? if so, did you answer or explain to them that is not acceptable to discuss?

did they respect the fact that describing a spouse's body or disclosing intimate details about relations with spouse are not acceptable?

some people say you must answer these questions or risk being denied a visa but i've never seen that response from a fellow muslim, so i'd like to know your experiences with this issue.

thanks!

[SuperDuper! 230]

I would say just answer the questions they ask, so you can get the visa to be with the one you love. Make amends (or revenge) later, but just play their game and answer their questions. Good luck!

[ossama&mariam 1]

No officers ask these very detailed intimate questions. They might ask you “when was the last time you slept with your wife but never into details” , they may ask you if your wife have any Tattoos and they expect you to know the answer.(that is something you should know if your wife has any)

I think people exaggerate sometimes.

Just remember…the officers are looking for stuff to support your case.

They get into these type of questions if they sense that your case isn’t legitimate.

Good luck to you all,

Ossama

[nab 74]

No officers ask these very detailed intimate questions. They might ask you “when was the last time you slept with your wife but never into details” , they may ask you if your wife have any Tattoos and they expect you to know the answer.(that is something you should know if your wife has any)

I think people exaggerate sometimes.

Just remember…the officers are looking for stuff to support your case.

They get into these type of questions if they sense that your case isn’t legitimate.

Good luck to you all,

Ossama

thank you for your response, that puts my mind at ease. as far as tattoos, those are not acceptable.

another question i wondered about is scars... is it ok just to answer them with the scars on openly visible areas (i.e. face and hands)and not mention covered ones?

it's not like they will ask to see!

[hellomms 16]

I think your expected response (from Muslims only) is a little over the line. Intimate questions are not just offensive or unusual to Muslim but equally offensive/unusual to anyone else regardless of their faith and religion. So for you to assume that questions like 'sex position' can only be too intimate for Muslims, is a very odd and frankly wrong assumption. Somehow you are implying that non-Muslims are not offended by these questions OR that a person of non-Islamic faith would not be hesitant to answer these question. I guess what made me agitated about your post was the specific requirement that only Muslims reply to this post and what I dont understand is how you could assume that all Muslims (of over 50 countries) could think the same way. There is nothing common between Muslims and answers to 'sex positions' (unlike Muslims and Halal food). You may get the same response from people of different faith and different one from a Muslim. For example, I expect a Turkish Muslim to be very open minded and a person of Catholic faith to be more aligned with your way of thinking.

Sorry, I dont mean to drag this into some sort of political debate but it just aggravates me when people tend to segregate themselves solely based on religion.

Now, as a Muslim I would not hesitate if they are really interested in the position. Its not like I really have to see those people ever again in my life.

[nab 74]

I think your expected response (from Muslims only) is a little over the line. Intimate questions are not just offensive or unusual to Muslim but equally offensive/unusual to anyone else regardless of their faith and religion. So for you to assume that questions like 'sex position' can only be too intimate for Muslims, is a very odd and frankly wrong assumption. Somehow you are implying that non-Muslims are not offended by these questions OR that a person of non-Islamic faith would not be hesitant to answer these question. I guess what made me agitated about your post was the specific requirement that only Muslims reply to this post and what I dont understand is how you could assume that all Muslims (of over 50 countries) could think the same way. There is nothing common between Muslims and answers to 'sex positions' (unlike Muslims and Halal food). You may get the same response from people of different faith and different one from a Muslim. For example, I expect a Turkish Muslim to be very open minded and a person of Catholic faith to be more aligned with your way of thinking.

Sorry, I dont mean to drag this into some sort of political debate but it just aggravates me when people tend to segregate themselves solely based on religion.

Now, as a Muslim I would not hesitate if they are really interested in the position. Its not like I really have to see those people ever again in my life.

sorry that you chose to be offended

[HappyKnappy 30]

What the OP may have wanted to see is if Muslim couples get treated differently during a stokes. Even if I am not Muslim, all I can say is that it's extremely difficult to tell if an IO is a hardass with just Muslims, or Jews, or Christians... Y'know?

[nab 74]

What the OP may have wanted to see is if Muslim couples get treated differently during a stokes. Even if I am not Muslim, all I can say is that it's extremely difficult to tell if an IO is a hardass with just Muslims, or Jews, or Christians... Y'know?

this is completely incorrect. do not put words into my post that are not there. this is a question regarding how to handle questions that go against religious teaching, and while some may be more secular than others, the Quran is the Quran and that doesnt change.

[Winonan 3]

I would say give them answers to the questions they ask. You NEED them. They won't really care if you get denied. Might not be fair, but that's the way it is. I'm curious what prompted the stokes interview in the first place? I thought that only happened if they suspect fraud.

[Dream'nJordan 9]

I have a friend who's husband is Muslim. They were asked about their favorite position, and about oral sex. They got very personal with their questions. Their response was: "We feel what happens in private between us as a married couple, is none of your business. We mean no disrespect by answering this way." They didnt ask anymore personal questions and was given the visa without AP! The question about scars, I would answer them as honestly as possible, if they separate the two of you and you dont say the same things, then you might have problems!

I wish you luck!

[HappyKnappy 30]

this is completely incorrect. do not put words into my post that are not there. this is a question regarding how to handle questions that go against religious teaching, and while some may be more secular than others, the Quran is the Quran and that doesnt change.

Ok, my mistake, it's the impression you gave, rather than me putting words in your mouth. That's why the expression "may have" was used, implying uncertainty. Now we know... Get that knot out of your undies straightened out, relax! Geez.

[nab 74]

I have a friend who's husband is Muslim. They were asked about their favorite position, and about oral sex. They got very personal with their questions. Their response was: "We feel what happens in private between us as a married couple, is none of your business. We mean no disrespect by answering this way." They didnt ask anymore personal questions and was given the visa without AP! The question about scars, I would answer them as honestly as possible, if they separate the two of you and you dont say the same things, then you might have problems!

I wish you luck!

Thank you so very much! i was looking for experiences from people who had to deal with this and HOW they dealt with it. a lot of responses were basically an attitude of 'who cares if we lose our dignity and respect as long as we get what we want'... for us a visa is not worth that.

Again, thank you so much!

[JimVaPhuong 4,863]

I disagree with those who say "just answer the question". If you feel the question clearly crosses a line you don't want to cross, then respectfully decline to answer it. Consular officers and immigration officers can sometimes get carried away with the amount of power they think they have. No visa or green card is worth compromising your morals. If you get turned down for refusing to answer a degrading or humiliating question then you can deal with that when you appeal or file a new petition.

The consulate in Vietnam has been known to grill visa applicants with very personal questions about sex. The Vietnamese people are generally very conservative when it comes to this subject. My wife (then fiancee) was very worried about this, and was sure she'd cry if they asked her any questions like that. I told her to refuse to answer any questions she thought were too embarrassing. If they persisted, then she had the right to walk out at any time.

Remember that you're not pleading for your freedom in front of a judge - you're asking a petty bureaucrat for a benefit. The only real power they have is they can say "no".

[Kathryn41 3,205]

thread closed at the OP's request.