Married 9 months (not going well) what do I do?

[Brother Hesekiel 2,235]

A fool's game requires a fool to play with. You have been a willing participant of this Green Card game for a long time and now you want it to stop. Too late, she's here to stay and you willingly signed up to pay.

She will remove conditions on her own, maybe even claim abuse, ask the judge for spousal support and you're still on the hook for at least ten years, eternity if she doesn't pay into the SS pot in which case she doesn't accumulate the 40 units.

And so develops the story of another fraudster, brought into the country by a man who refused to face reality. I would use the term fool again, but that would get me in trouble, so I won't.

Sad, sad, so sad. The writing on the wall so big and with such big letters that a blind man could see them. You did too, but you refused to let this hold you back. You played along and along and along and along. And so the message is passed on to the next fraudster that there are still . . . uhhh . . . American men who can be played like a fiddle.

This is the nicest way I can put it.

[justashooter 430]

like i said, you can deport her by placing her on a plane. she is not well enough grounded to fight your process if you are determined. pack her bags and drive her to the airport with no warning. she will be so surprised and off balance that she will do as you tell her to, and you will be off the hook when it's wheels up.

[southlake 0]

Again, It will be hard for her to file the I-751 on her own, or claim abuse to get the spousal support.

Let me tell you something, collect all the prove that she contacted with her ex and file for divorce.

If she wanted to file i-751 for herself, then let her do. At least she needs some money to hire a lawyer.

Wish you all the best!

Edited July 25, 2010 by southlake

[Brother Hesekiel 2,235]

Again, It will be hard for her to file the I-751 on her own, or claim abuse to get the spousal support.

Let me tell you something, collect all the prove that she contacted with her ex and file for divorce.

If she wanted to file i-751 for herself, then let her do. At least she needs some money to hire a lawyer.

Wish you all the best!

Wrong. Wrong. Wrong. And wrong.

1) Filing the I-751 is not hard but rather easy if you have help of people who trained you to play the game.

2) Claiming abuse is even easier and also among the Fraud 101 lessons.

3) Depending on the State they reside on, this might be a non-fault divorce. Ka-ching!

4) Money for the lawyer the wife retains to fight him comes from . . . him as well!

Edited July 25, 2010 by Just Bob

[southlake 0]

Wrong. Wrong. Wrong. And wrong.

1) Filing the I-751 is not hard but rather easy if you have help of people who trained you to play the game.

2) Claiming abuse is even easier and also among the Fraud 101 lessons.

3) Depending on the State they reside on, this might be a non-fault divorce. Ka-ching!

4) Money for the lawyer the wife retains to fight him comes from . . . him as well!

This is not an argument, and I don't mad if someone do disagree

1. I know it's not that hard to file the I-571, but what the prove is?

2. Claiming abuse, if she had prove that he beats her, she called 911, there is the blue and red marked on the body, then BINGO!

3. If someone filed for annulment, at least she needs to find evidence to prove she is "innocent".

4. If there is nothing that she could prove, then how she got the money from him.

I really don't know them both, just said on what he posted. If these are wrong, I really have nothing to say.

Thank you anyway for your mention about it, at least it what I am learning.

[Mr. K 8]

If she thinks you can send her back, then do it. Or else you might regret not taking advantage of her not knowing.

Edited July 25, 2010 by Mr. K

[belinda63 2,990]

All she has to prove is she entered the marriage in good faith. They lived together as man and wife and probably to some degree commingled finances. She can remove conditions on her own.

No refunds, no exchanges, all sales are final.

Edited July 25, 2010 by belinda63

[SuperDuper! 230]

Um...you can't "send her back." She is not a thing that you can discard.

If you guys divorce, she can petition for a 10 year card WITHOUT you, although you will still be on the hook for her financially unless she meets one of the terms (10 quarters of work, US citizen, dies, etc).

Sorry for your troubles.

Oh, please. The man has gone thru so much hell, and now you want to be self-righteous about it?

He is going to "send her back" to her home country. She burnt him, and now he has to look out for himself.

Maybe you would change your mind if it happened to you. We hope it does not.

[Aztec&Taino 144]

I am very sorry that your marriage is not going well. It was very nice of you to try to help her family and to try to understand some of the issues as "cultural differences."

Thinking about cultural differences, I do not think that cheating is the only valid reason why a person should feel entitled or justified to get a divorce though. It sounds like many other important issues (trust, work ethic, ambition, professional and life goals, housekeeping, etc.)in your marriage are not really working. If you think you cannot overcome these differences, then you should get a divorce.

As someone else already posted, you cannot "force her" to leave the country or "send her back" (as one sends defective merchandise back to a vendor) once your divorce goes through. So, would she really go back or just choose to stay in the USA? After all, she does have a SSN in her name (does she?) and maybe she would choose to not leave. Whatever she decides to do (or whatever you decide to do, too), the situation is difficult and I wish you the best. Good thinking on signing a prenuptial agreement!

Edited July 26, 2010 by Aztec&Taino

[Mountain Climber 186]

Sorry about your situation. Per your many previous posts, it seems as though your relationship with this woman has been a roller coaster ride from the day you first met in Thailand. Obviously it is ultimately your choice on what to do but I think the writing has been on the wall for awhile. Her agenda is obviously not your agenda.

She does not what to go back to Thailand because she would "lose face" with everyone she knows in her village. Because of this, she will do or say anything to you so that she will not have to go back to Thailand and face the consequences. I hope you can see through her BS when this is happening. As others have suggested, go back and read your posts. I have no doubt that you will make the right decision.

I hope you can find peace in whatever decision you make. Good luck!!

Edited July 26, 2010 by Mountain Climber

[Mountain Climber 186]

A fool's game requires a fool to play with. You have been a willing participant of this Green Card game for a long time and now you want it to stop. Too late, she's here to stay and you willingly signed up to pay.

She will remove conditions on her own, maybe even claim abuse, ask the judge for spousal support and you're still on the hook for at least ten years, eternity if she doesn't pay into the SS pot in which case she doesn't accumulate the 40 units.

And so develops the story of another fraudster, brought into the country by a man who refused to face reality. I would use the term fool again, but that would get me in trouble, so I won't.

Sad, sad, so sad. The writing on the wall so big and with such big letters that a blind man could see them. You did too, but you refused to let this hold you back. You played along and along and along and along. And so the message is passed on to the next fraudster that there are still . . . uhhh . . . American men who can be played like a fiddle.

This is the nicest way I can put it.

I don't think being played like a fiddle is the exclusive purview of American men, in fact, it is not even gender specific (IMHO).

[jrmejia 31]

A very sad story and thinking that this week i am going to send my petition to bring my fiancee from Phil.

[Deputy Purple 1,294]

I'll be honest, if it were me I'd do 1 of 2 things:

1) Be upfront with her and explain that she can Remove Conditions without you. Let her go to the Asian Restaurant, file for divorce and move-on.

2) Tell her that we need so time apart so we can both think about our future. Say that if she'll visit her family back home you'll send her money for her & them until she returns in a few months. Once she's on the plane divorce her in absentia and never send her a dime. Idoubt she'll be ale to get the money herself to for a return flight to the US so the greencard will be considered abandoned.

[dluke77 9]

Make sure you have copies of phone records, emails from her to him if possible. Report her to immigration, record her if somehow legally possible. She only wanted to come to the US. It's hard to face when you feel you love someone--but don't be played for a fool. It seems she is being played for a fool too by the other guy. Otherwise, he would have married her--obviously he knew better than to fall into her trap.

If possible the easiest way out is somehow con her into getting on a plane (go with her saying you want to work it out and maybe seeing her family together will help you two somehow). Buy her a refundable ticket and when you get there cancel the return portion of her ticket and get back to the US and final for divorce right away.

[southlake 0]

Make sure you have copies of phone records, emails from her to him if possible. Report her to immigration, record her if somehow legally possible. She only wanted to come to the US. It's hard to face when you feel you love someone--but don't be played for a fool. It seems she is being played for a fool too by the other guy. Otherwise, he would have married her--obviously he knew better than to fall into her trap.

If possible the easiest way out is somehow con her into getting on a plane (go with her saying you want to work it out and maybe seeing her family together will help you two somehow). Buy her a refundable ticket and when you get there cancel the return portion of her ticket and get back to the US and final for divorce right away.