Irritating BS your SO does

[JulianMelissa 52]

If you believe belittling Melissa on a public forum is what's best for her, then I feel truly sorry for her. Perhaps the dealer bamboozled her with the neat little sports car, but its hardly something that you should be discussing here on VJ. She seems perfectly content with the purchase, so at the end of the day if you TRULY want Melissa to be happy, you will support her in her choice. And if you can't support her choice, at least have the class to discuss it with her privately rather than putting her down amongst her online friends.

You sound very old-fashioned. Will you be making Melissa quit her job, get her pregnant straight away and have her in the kitchen all the time once you're living here in the US?

Belittling? Hardly! I fail to understand how one can be 'bamboozled' when they have a clear plan of action. 'Hello madame, would you care to see this lovely little blue Porsche?' 'No thank you, I would like to see the Mercedes my fiance discussed with you on the phone.' 'Are you sure? It is a rather nice shade of blue.' 'Oh well in that case, please show me the Mercedes my fiance discussed with you on the phone.' There, now that wasn't so difficult was it?

And yes, if you mean I am gleefully wringing my hands at the prospect of a Labour loss, then I suppose you could call me 'old-fashioned.' But our personal affairs are our own thank you.

[Jewel-8 21]

Thank you all, i feel so much better after reading what you all have to say i thought it was just me, i mean that i was the only one who found so many differences in 'cultures' and the lil problems/misunderstandings that can arise from them.

My irk is why is it my USC husband always thinks the american way is the right way like it was there first and its the rest of the world that changed to a different/wrong way !!! LOL

I'm always teasing about the right way too. I must have the most tolerant husband in the world that it's a wonder I haven't driven him crazy yet. We are both very stubborn people and the differences have been interesting, but I always knew that if I bothered to get married at all then it would be to someone from outside the US.

Have any of the non-USC on this thread noticed anything about how their spouse drives that is irritating? My sweetie doesn't use the turn signal much. Must be all those round-a-bouts. I know my husband gets annoyed with my driving. I tend to do a lot of rolling stops. I think I picked that bad habit up in California after a friend I had riding with me said, "Don't stop at the stop signs in this neighborhood! We'll get shot!"

[*julez* 124]

Car crash? Pun intended?

I really do like the intent of this thread, but you know me, Maven...I cannot let more serious and inappropriate airing of the dirty laundry go by without commenting. Like Popeye, I am what I am.

So, in the spirit of its original intent, I will share with you my pet peeve. When G unloads the dishwasher (*hangs head in shame for even complaining*) he doesn't inspect the dishes before placing them in the cupboards, so sometimes I will take out a glass, bowl, fork, etc. and it will still have some food crusted on it. It really, really grosses me out.

[Gemmie 142]

I understand your point Vanessa, but because the complaint is of a serious nature and not a "pet-hate" or some irritating habit, it just seemed out of place. If I came in here and posted that my husband slept with his co-worker, it would be just as out of place, even though I could claim that it's still something annoying that he did, and I have a right to talk about it with our online friends.

As for the point itself, yes I would be VERY annoyed if my husband did that.

[*julez* 124]

But our personal affairs are our own thank you.

*raises eyebrow* Really? I didn't get that impression.

[Gemmie 142]

Have any of the non-USC on this thread noticed anything about how their spouse drives that is irritating? My sweetie doesn't use the turn signal much. Must be all those round-a-bouts. I know my husband gets annoyed with my driving. I tend to do a lot of rolling stops. I think I picked that bad habit up in California after a friend I had riding with me said, "Don't stop at the stop signs in this neighborhood! We'll get shot!"

USC husband taught me to drive, but there are still moments when I make a mistake (like last night I accidentally used my right blinker when I meant left) and he yelled "WRONG BLINKER!!" and scared the ####### out of me. He does everything 100% the correct way, and in his 10 years of driving has never had any accident or made any big mistakes. Which sometimes means he makes a huge deal out of small mistakes that I make when learning.

But I'm also guilty of the rolling stop signs.

Edited May 6, 2010 by Gemmie

[Jewel-8 21]

I understand your point Vanessa, but because the complaint is of a serious nature and not a "pet-hate" or some irritating habit, it just seemed out of place. If I came in here and posted that my husband slept with his co-worker, it would be just as out of place, even though I could claim that it's still something annoying that he did, and I have a right to talk about it with our online friends.

As for the point itself, yes I would be VERY annoyed if my husband did that.

Yes, the tone of a post on this thread was more disrespectful to the SO than I would have liked to have seen. It made the poster sound like a jerk and it made me think of someone I know that I would NEVER marry.

Now, let's not add fuel to the fire.. It's a private matter. We've all had tough things in our relationships. I think the rest of us should drop it.

[*julez* 124]

I believe you're bordering on being reported. His complaint was a legitimate one and this was the purpose of the thread. It just so happens that his S/O is on this forum as well, the others that are "belittling" their spouses and discussing their annoying habits have yet to incur your wrath but is that because their spouses can't see it?

As for HER choice, it was HIS money or rather THEIR money. She completely ignored HIS choice and the choice they had decided on and instead "on a whim" slammed some money down on a vehicle that was not only WAY overpriced, but also nothing like they had discussed.

The whole point of this thread was to discuss things that annoy you about your spouse or S/O. He told you that her decision to COMPLETELY ignore what they had decided on and to make such a major purchase (or deviation in purchase) without consulting him was annoying to him. I'm shocked you think he should just suffer in silence because she happens to know a few of the same people... I too would be INCREDIBLY annoyed (as an understatement), if my spouse did what his fiancee did and I would hope that I would be able to talk about it.

**Edit - I saw someone refer to what is being said here as "light-hearted banter" and I respectfully disagree. SOME of this is light-hearted banter and differences, but the majority of it is insulting someone you love, and airing their annoying habits or "pet-peeves" to the online world. If we want to say nothing embarrassing should be said then you should all mirror the person who gave HER annoying habits rather than her spouses (like the mouth clicking) because she knows what's being written about her and your spouses don't.

Vanessa, I really believe it is time for you to get off your high horse. Ever since you joined VJ, you have run round her blathering on about who should be reported when, what constitutes a violation of the TOS, what organizers should do when, etc, and its gotten beyond annoying.

I am allowed to express my opinion on VJ. And I will continue to do so, whether you or Julian like what I have to say.

What Julian described was not a pet peeve. And I never suggested he "Suffer in Silence". I merely suggested that he be more sensitive to his fiancee's feeling when discussing something so personal on a public forum. I think it should be discussed, but privately.

As for my own pet peeve, my dearly beloved husband is not only a VJ member, but he is well aware of how I feel about this little foible of his. For you to suggest that the rest of us are denigrating our spouses behind his/her back is down-right offensive. Furthmore, if you read the posts carefully you'd have noted that these issues have all been discussed openly with respective partners.

[Gemmie 142]

*wouldn't let me edit*

I saw someone refer to what is being said here as "light-hearted banter" and I respectfully disagree. SOME of this is light-hearted banter and differences, but the majority of it is insulting someone you love, and airing their annoying habits or "pet-peeves" to the online world. If we want to say nothing embarrassing should be said then you should all mirror the person who gave HER annoying habits rather than her spouses (like the mouth clicking) because she knows what's being written about her and your spouses don't.

I don't see it as insulting the person you love.. everyone has annoying habits, and I'm always telling my spouse what irritates me, he always tells me what irritates him, and life goes on because it's light-hearted and minor - not something that had a huge affect on my emotions because of his intentional decisions. I'll probably even tell him about this topic when he gets home later and exactly what I posted anyways.

[VanessaTony 3,567]

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Edited May 6, 2010 by Vanessa&Tony

[elmcitymaven 9,711]

USC husband taught me to drive, but there are still moments when I make a mistake (like last night I accidentally used my right blinker when I meant left) and he yelled "WRONG BLINKER!!" and scared the ####### out of me. He does everything 100% the correct way, and in his 10 years of driving has never had any accident or made any big mistakes. Which sometimes means he makes a huge deal out of small mistakes that I make when learning.

But I'm also guilty of the rolling stop signs.

My UKC husband taught me how to drive -- I'd had a learners' licence over in the UK but I was so cr@p at driving stick that we all thought it would be for the best if I just restricted my driving to the occasional attempt. In a large car park. At night. Late at night. Once we got over here, I realised I had to drive to live. He's been driving for over 20 years, and I have now had my licence for two. (Woo!) The first year or so he could hardly get in a car with me without begging to install a second set of brakes in the car. He too is 100% correct all the time and can't understand how I can get it so wrong. However, the other week we had to travel back to the house in two separate cars. He was behind me on the freeway so he could see everything I was doing. About halfway home he called me and said, "I'm watching you. You certainly don't hang about! You're really quite a decent driver now."

[JulianMelissa 52]

I hope it's ok with the self-appointed forum police to address turn indicators, since it was already brought up: is it just my SO, or do all Americans not realize their vehicle comes standard equipped with turn indicators?

[*julez* 124]

I hope it's ok with the self-appointed forum police to address turn indicators, since it was already brought up: is it just my SO, or do all Americans not realize their vehicle comes standard equipped with turn indicators?

I'm sure Vanessa won't mind.

[elmcitymaven 9,711]

I hope it's ok with the self-appointed forum police to address turn indicators, since it was already brought up: is it just my SO, or do all Americans not realize their vehicle comes standard equipped with turn indicators?

I use them. Always. In parking lots, parallel parking, late at night with no one around. Always.

Then I did have a British husband to beat it into me. Suggest you do the same.

[VanessaTony 3,567]

I hope it's ok with the self-appointed forum police to address turn indicators, since it was already brought up: is it just my SO, or do all Americans not realize their vehicle comes standard equipped with turn indicators?

My husband is QUITE bad when it comes to turning signals. I've given up mentioning it. He's a race driver and I'm not so I couldn't possibly be right