Irritating BS your SO does

[Gemmie 142]

About the Brits being committed faster, me and my husband were discussing this the other day and decided it was due to the difference in dating styles. In the US, if you ask "do you want to go out with me" it usually means on a date to see how things go... in the UK, I remember the same question meaning "we're now a couple".

I'm glad the top sheet thing isn't just us. I was confused and irritated when he wouldn't let me get rid of the sheet, he just kept repeating "it's supposed to be there" and in the UK, we just have a duvet cover.

Irritating stuff...

- When he chews he has way too much saliva in his mouth so it sounds all squishy/loud and sometimes puts me off my food. When I asked him about it, he said it's because of his overbite, his saliva "pools". Gross!

- He can't burp without BLOWING it out of his mouth. Literally, he actually blows.

- He eats the same things constantly (pizza, PB&J sandwiches, nachos) and refuses to eat any fruit or veg. This legitimately worries me. He's the worst to go grocery shopping with because he never knows what he wants.

- Sometimes during the night, he starts cracking all of the joints in his body.

- He gets over things much more quickly than I do. So when I'm disappointed about something, I need to mope about it for a few minutes and he just moves on to something else, which causes a mini-argument (I think he doesn't care, he thinks I'm over-reacting).

- When I'm speaking to him, I catch him looking at the TV/reading something/looking away. He gets irritated when I expect him to stop everything and look at me when I'm talking. Is it too much to ask to actually act like you're listening?

It's the little things you learn to live with. I'm still working on dealing with them rather than nudging him and telling him to stop. I know I do things that irritates the ####### out of him, too.

[elmcitymaven 9,711]

The question is, what happened to the Sentra?

Looks like I'm only two towns over from her -- I'll have a look on Craigslist. I'm always on the lookout for a debatable 'modern classic.'

Thank you very much Maven, now I do too!!

Gordon Brown finer temptress

Through the ages he's heading West

[Jewel-8 21]

About the Brits being committed faster, me and my husband were discussing this the other day and decided it was due to the difference in dating styles. In the US, if you ask "do you want to go out with me" it usually means on a date to see how things go... in the UK, I remember the same question meaning "we're now a couple".

I'm glad the top sheet thing isn't just us. I was confused and irritated when he wouldn't let me get rid of the sheet, he just kept repeating "it's supposed to be there" and in the UK, we just have a duvet cover.

Irritating stuff...

- He eats the same things constantly (pizza, PB&J sandwiches, nachos) and refuses to eat any fruit or veg. This legitimately worries me. He's the worst to go grocery shopping with because he never knows what he wants.

- He gets over things much more quickly than I do. So when I'm disappointed about something, I need to mope about it for a few minutes and he just moves on to something else, which causes a mini-argument (I think he doesn't care, he thinks I'm over-reacting).

- When I'm speaking to him, I catch him looking at the TV/reading something/looking away. He gets irritated when I expect him to stop everything and look at me when I'm talking. Is it too much to ask to actually act like you're listening?

It's the little things you learn to live with. I'm still working on dealing with them rather than nudging him and telling him to stop. I know I do things that irritates the ####### out of him, too.

WOW, I'm glad you posted Gemma. It must be different dating styles. I'm glad I'm not the only one that has had problems with the sheets!!

- As for the arguments, we have differences as a couple also. He is a very calm person. I am a bit more emotional. There have been a few times I have gotten angry and pushed his buttons. Then half an hour later I feel like I've expressed everything I needed to and we can go back to whatever we need to do. If I've gotten him mad enough he will stay that way for days. He doesn't understand how me and my 8 year old son can be so upset and then be incredibly happy an hour later. I'm hoping he comes around soon. Is it a British thing? If so, he might

- Grocery shopping: We are watching our pennies (immi process, moving and the not working thing has been or will be a $10-20k hit for most people reading this), so I insist on shopping from a list. I will add CocaCola, and a snack to the list so I don't feel too deprived. I ask him to list everything he could want BEFORE we get to the store. I usually only stray from the list by about $5 on each shopping trip.

If I take him to the store with me, he will load up the cart with whatever he sees that he is interested in. On one of our shopping trips the total came to $56, and over $30 of it was drinks and snacks he had added to the cart. I made him hand me $30 to help pay the cashier.

- I like turning and staring at him at random times, like while watching a movie or while he's driving. I'm just in awe that he is here. Plus he has gorgeous high cheekbones and long eyelashes.... whatever... He gets irritated and will keep asking me if I'm about to say something.

- I have another bad habit of making a weird clicking sound while I'm falling asleep. I'm not sure what it is, but it's in my throat or back of my mouth. He claims it keeps him awake. He even paid for me to get Invisalign because we thought it was my retainer. If it doesn't get better I might go see my surgeon that did my jaw surgery soon.

Poor Dave, it's a wonder he hasn't strangled me yet.

[*julez* 124]

The thing about the top sheet being a US thing is weird to me. My husband is the Brit and every time we go stay with his dad I complain bitterly about the top sheet cos I always get tangled up in it. We NEVER use a top sheet at home in the US. As a kid yes, but I haven't used the top sheet from a set of sheet in at least 20 years.

With regard to the car purchase mentioned above, I would like to say how EXTREMELY uncool it was for Julian to bring up such a major issue on a public forum where his fiance (who is, by all accounts, a real sweetheart) is a regularly participating member. I don't really think what you described was a pet peeve and would suggest you think carefully about the kind of things you want to share with complete strangers on the Internet. I think Melissa deserves better than to have you airing your dirty laundry on VJ.

My husband, of course, is perfect in every way.

[elmcitymaven 9,711]

My husband, of course, is perfect in every way.

Trade you? My model has fewer miles, but he does have the Yorkshire module installed, which makes for some terrible bloodymindedness.

[Jewel-8 21]

Trade you? My model has fewer miles, but he does have the Yorkshire module installed, which makes for some terrible bloodymindedness.

Mine is from Glasgow. He reminds me all the time that HIS people beat the *&@% out of the terrorists at the airport and that Weegies are tough *%(. I wouldn't trade him for the world.

[Jewel-8 21]

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Edited May 6, 2010 by Jewel-8

[JulianMelissa 52]

With regard to the car purchase mentioned above, I would like to say how EXTREMELY uncool it was for Julian to bring up such a major issue on a public forum where his fiance (who is, by all accounts, a real sweetheart) is a regularly participating member. I don't really think what you described was a pet peeve and would suggest you think carefully about the kind of things you want to share with complete strangers on the Internet. I think Melissa deserves better than to have you airing your dirty laundry on VJ.

Well this was certainly predictable. I'm rather surprised it didn't come up earlier. Yes, I'm the big mean bully for being upset about my fiancee going completely against a decision which we had made together. How perfectly awful of me!

Let me be clear: I love my fiancee dearly, and I try to do what's right for her. She had no business making such an impulsive decision without consulting me first. (I would of course have said no!) How can you even defend such actions? What if your spouse had done the same thing, would you be so understanding then? Not likely.

So sorry to hear about the 'Yorkshire module' in your 'model' elmcitymaven...perhaps you'd care to trade it in for a used Sentra. I happen to know where you can get a good price on one. And being that you live so close to my Melissa, I recommend exiting the motorway should you see a blue Porsche careening your direction.

[*julez* 124]

If you believe belittling Melissa on a public forum is what's best for her, then I feel truly sorry for her. Perhaps the dealer bamboozled her with the neat little sports car, but its hardly something that you should be discussing here on VJ. She seems perfectly content with the purchase, so at the end of the day if you TRULY want Melissa to be happy, you will support her in her choice. And if you can't support her choice, at least have the class to discuss it with her privately rather than putting her down amongst her online friends.

You sound very old-fashioned. Will you be making Melissa quit her job, get her pregnant straight away and have her in the kitchen all the time once you're living here in the US?

[elmcitymaven 9,711]

So sorry to hear about the 'Yorkshire module' in your 'model' elmcitymaven...perhaps you'd care to trade it in for a used Sentra. I happen to know where you can get a good price on one. And being that you live so close to my Melissa, I recommend exiting the motorway should you see a blue Porsche careening your direction.

I'll make sure to avoid the 134 east of Burbank until further notice.

[Gemmie 142]

Let me be clear: I love my fiancee dearly, and I try to do what's right for her. She had no business making such an impulsive decision without consulting me first. (I would of course have said no!) How can you even defend such actions? What if your spouse had done the same thing, would you be so understanding then? Not likely.

I don't think she was talking about what your fiancee did, it was more about the way you posted it on the public forum that she uses too. I have to admit, I didn't know she was also a member and was a bit surprised when I found out, because your issue wasn't really a pet hate (laughable and banter-inspired) but more a legitimate problem you had with her at the time.

[Carly 0]

Thank you all, i feel so much better after reading what you all have to say i thought it was just me, i mean that i was the only one who found so many differences in 'cultures' and the lil problems/misunderstandings that can arise from them.

My irk is why is it my USC husband always thinks the american way is the right way like it was there first and its the rest of the world that changed to a different/wrong way !!! LOL

[*julez* 124]

I'll make sure to avoid the 134 east of Burbank until further notice.

Maven, it really surprises me that you'd adopt such an archaic attitude. IMO, we really need to be more supportive of Melissa.

And, thank you Gemmie. You are spot on as to what my point is.

[elmcitymaven 9,711]

Maven, it really surprises me that you'd adopt such an archaic attitude. IMO, we really need to be more supportive of Melissa.

*hangs head*

Sorry ma'am. Sometimes my pathetic stabs at wit overtake my better nature. I don't really want to join the pile-on, not because I think it's okay to air your dirty laundry on VJ, but because I can see this thread starting to veer into total car-crash territory.

[VanessaTony 3,567]

If you believe belittling Melissa on a public forum is what's best for her, then I feel truly sorry for her. Perhaps the dealer bamboozled her with the neat little sports car, but its hardly something that you should be discussing here on VJ. She seems perfectly content with the purchase, so at the end of the day if you TRULY want Melissa to be happy, you will support her in her choice. And if you can't support her choice, at least have the class to discuss it with her privately rather than putting her down amongst her online friends.

You sound very old-fashioned. Will you be making Melissa quit her job, get her pregnant straight away and have her in the kitchen all the time once you're living here in the US?

His complaint was a legitimate one and this was the purpose of the thread. It just so happens that his S/O is on this forum as well, the others that are "belittling" their spouses and discussing their annoying habits have yet to incur your wrath but is that because their spouses can't see it?

As for HER choice, it was HIS money or rather THEIR money. She completely ignored HIS choice and the choice they had decided on and instead "on a whim" slammed some money down on a vehicle that was not only WAY overpriced, but also nothing like they had discussed.

The whole point of this thread was to discuss things that annoy you about your spouse or S/O. He told you that her decision to COMPLETELY ignore what they had decided on and to make such a major purchase (or deviation in purchase) without consulting him was annoying to him. I'm shocked you think he should just suffer in silence because she happens to know a few of the same people... I too would be INCREDIBLY annoyed (as an understatement), if my spouse did what his fiancee did and I would hope that I would be able to talk about it.

**Edit - I saw someone refer to what is being said here as "light-hearted banter" and I respectfully disagree. SOME of this is light-hearted banter and differences, but the majority of it is insulting someone you love, and airing their annoying habits or "pet-peeves" to the online world. If we want to say nothing embarrassing should be said then you should all mirror the person who gave HER annoying habits rather than her spouses (like the mouth clicking) because she knows what's being written about her and your spouses don't.

Edited May 6, 2010 by Vanessa&Tony