Sad Update

[junari888 1]

I AM SO SORRY to hear that. I cannot say that i know what you are going trough, but your story really touched my heart , also the story from the lady with the nigerian, you girls are so brave to share your experiences ,that shows me that you are amazing women (in the whole meaning of the word), Full of love an pasion , don't ever let anyone change that on you. Keep loving, keep dreaming but mostly believing.

GOD BLESS YOU BOTH.

[LostInIllinois 1]

I am sorry to hear that there are such men in the world. My thoughts and prayers go to you...

[yogib37 3]

I just want you to know that you are not alone when it comes to being abused by the person that you trust your heart too, you see I too have gone thru some bad changes as a result of trusting the man that I loved and thought he loved me too. Our outcome is similiar, except I had a child and I'm the USC.

I had a baby for my husband and before the child was one month old this man abandoned us, I maxed- out my credit cards getting him the latest medical books, lectures and questions for him to take his step one USMLE test. I went to work pregnant while he stayed at home and studied for his medical test( At his request ) until I started missing too many days and bills were piling up, so I asked him to look for work, which he didn't want to do.

I can go on, but I won't. The long and short of my story is that this man is a doctor in his hometown Nigeria, and he knew that if he could only get to America he could make it on his own, he just needed someone, anyone to help him get by Immigration in his homeland Nigeria ( I also payed for his plane tickett here to the states, as many of us USC do ) and to past his Step 1 for his medical license, and the rest he could get help from Nigerians already here. ( That's what I now think )

Orginally before he came here, he was telling me that he loved me and that we'd work on our problems should any occur and breaking a marriage wasen't in his plans, he told me that in his tribe when men marry they marry for life, however once he got here and we married, things changed and he had a new attitude, he would start arguments and do things to purposely get a negative response from me then he starting moving in and out of the apartment, and eventually left for good, when our son was less then one month old, now during our divorce he's telling the judge lies with nothing to back them up, so now I know this man never wanted me and has nothing to do with his son, but goes to court and say that I won't let him see him.

So you see, I'm also in a messy situation, this man went from a loving caring men to a cut throat type scammer. Fiona, I can identify with your feeling, but now you know that your not alone, and I bet that there are others out there that have been thru this process and landed worse off then the both of us.

I like to think that God put me in this situation because he knows that I can and will handle it well and he will get the glory out of it, no matter what , to God be all the Glory. And to my dear husband, may he gets all that he deserve's, like someone has mentioned, what comes around goes around, so try hard to focus on rebuilding your life and your son, I know it's easier said then done but try, then rejoice in the fact that one day you and your son will remember this experience as a lesson learned.

Karen

SOrry to hear that you had problems..

The nigerian people are very good at scaming people.

I was a friend to a Nigierian person and it was at work he was good person and all, then one day we both involved into a incendent and he stop talking to me all together and he was the person at fault.

[Ana Paula 2]

Fiona...

first of All, i think God always do what is the best for us, so... I think we have to have a thing to believe and i hope you and your son have all the best things, and happiness forever.

And i really wish you all the best with all my heart!

Big kiss, from São Paulo - Brasil

[Captain Ewok 1,928]

I apologize for SMC everyone. I will deal with them at this point. If you notice any other problems please feel free to let me know.

[chocolaterie 1]

Thank you for sharing your experience, I know it must have been hard to do. I wish you the absolute best and I hope this man gets everything that he deserves. It angers me that people can be so misleading and inconsiderate.

and...

GO CAPTAIN EWOK!!!!!

Edited February 18, 2006 by chocolaterie

[moroccogirlny 100]

Sorry to hear what this man did to you, it just makes us realize that how cruel people can be. Be happy you did not get married to him!

[Cdnwmn 1]

I'm so sorry for what you and your son went through and I wish you the best of luck for the future.

You have good words of advice at the end of your post.

Also may I add in reference to those coming from other countries. If you are holding a job back in your country, to consider a "leave of absence" if your company allows it. I was fortunate that in my last job in Canada I was able to take an "unpaid year leave of absence" and I did ask for it. My friends and co-workers told me then even though they felt strongly that everything would work out well here in the U.S., there was always that chance that something could go wrong. I brought this up with my then fiance and he had encouraged me to do it. It didn't matter about a home because I was only renting a townhouse at the time and would have been able to live temporarily with one of my daughters or parents if need be.

[TracyTN 237]

Well you leave VJ for a day and look what happens!

Pax, welshie, etc. its people like you who make VJ worthwhile. As for the other part of the population, I had no idea that me not having filed yet for the visa would tick you off so badly. Why is it that someone on a MESSAGE BOARD offends you so much (to the point where you must go out of your way to be rude), I'll never know. But, its not the first time I've heard it and I'm sure it won't be the last.

Message boards, for the most part, are a joke. I've learned this many times on other boards, but was holding out hope that VJ was different. Well, I'm not afraid to say when I'm wrong. I appreciate those of you who I consider friends and look forward to conversing with you offline in the future. Your friendship, kindness and wisdom have been second to none.

In the meantime, I will use VJ for exactly the reasons I found it to begin with - research and information. I sure hope that doesn't offend anyone. /sarcasm/

Beyond that, its just not worth it to me anymore.

Edited to say - sorry again to the OP. I hate that your thread turned into this, but I still wish you the best.

Edited February 18, 2006 by TracyTN

[rebeccajo 14]

Well you leave VJ for a day and look what happens!

Pax, welshie, etc. its people like you who make VJ worthwhile. As for the other part of the population, I had no idea that me not having filed yet for the visa would tick you off so badly. Why is it that someone on a MESSAGE BOARD offends you so much (to the point where you must go out of your way to be rude), I'll never know. But, its not the first time I've heard it and I'm sure it won't be the last.

Message boards, for the most part, are a joke. I've learned this many times on other boards, but was holding out hope that VJ was different. Well, I'm not afraid to say when I'm wrong. I appreciate those of you who I consider friends and look forward to conversing with you offline in the future. Your friendship, kindness and wisdom have been second to none.

In the meantime, I will use VJ for exactly the reasons I found it to begin with - research and information. I sure hope that doesn't offend anyone. /sarcasm/

Beyond that, its just not worth it to me anymore.

Edited to say - sorry again to the OP. I hate that your thread turned into this, but I still wish you the best.

Tracy, that person is an ###. I was immediately MAD AS HELL when I read what they wrote.

There are a LOT of us here who care about you. God only knows how I would have made it through my visajourney without you.

Don't do this.

Edited February 18, 2006 by rebeccajo

[MarieAnastasia 1]

Tracy and the other good VJers, don't let a few bad apples spoil the barrell!!! People like this must have such unhappy lives that they thrive on hurting other people. You can only pity them and hope they will see the errors of their way some day. Can you imagine what life living with them is like....and the sad thing is some unsuspecting soul will fall into their 'charm' and have to deal with these miserable ba*tard*

Do not let these people win by leaving this message board. Your input and others who are here for the same reason appreciate and respect you. Like the old saying goes... To The People Who Matter, They Don't Mind.........To The People Who Mind, They Don't Matter

And for you sorry-a** people.............why don't you go on a thread where they taunt each other and enjoy it. We're here to support and pat each other on the back. And if somebody has a hard time adjusting to their way of life.........we are here for them to help them cope.

So please do us all a favour and...................SCAT!!!!!!! ...............{{{{{HUGS}}}}}

[Anja_and_Henry 1]

I would ignore that one..... shudder - just wrong

Anja

[Melo 1]

Ah what a mess in more ways than one!!! To the two who have had their world devastated by arsehole men... just want to say I am so very, very sorry.

Tracy and Welsh, wanna say this... the world is full of arseholes... people who are jealous; filled with hate so on and so forth... in the virtual world it can be even more so... don't let some jealous, angry, venemous, brainless bimbo (or the male version of one) get to you such that the friendships you have built up could be affected badly... he/she ain't worth it.. in fact if you do that then he/she has won nonetheless...

Love and hugs to all of you

[john_and_marlene 162]

You all gave the pot-stirrer exactly what he wanted--your reactions. I've found the best way to get such posts to stop is to not respond to them at all. Act as if they were never posted. The stronger your response, the more you have satisfied their hunger for attention.

[Peggy 1]

I agree. Some people on here are just plan mean and rude. They have nothing better to do than be an a@@.

Glad the Captain took care of that nasty piece of #######.