Sad Update

[blackbettie 0]

So sorry to hear this. I wish I had anything helpful to say.

All the best for you and your son.

[babybunny 2]

where does she go from here? does that mean she has to leave?

is there something that could be done?

maybe she could file for that mental abuse something waiver.

oh god this is horrible..

[pri 0]

sorry about what happ? but feel good about one thing you discovered well ahead of time..

All things happen for good so cheer up and look at the other way which you would hv been hurted more.. look at the better side

Cheer up

[Jaylen Brit 0]

Fi - no shame on you girl - you werent the lying douche-bag in that relationship.

You are strong, you will get your life back on track and your son will admire you for it and draw strength from you.

Your new journey is just beginning and I know it will be a better one than it has been.

Hugs and luck to you.

Tho I hope yr ex's cojones turn black and fall off, and he gets his (he will don't doubt it - he'll die a loneley old bitter man and rightfully so) but that's cos I'm righteous and vengeful

[Peggy 1]

Sorry to hear this has happened to you and your son.

Praying things will get better for you now that your back to the UK.

HUGS

[nayalamb 0]

oh fiona... i am so sad to hear your news. i cannot understand how people can be so callous and uncaring. trust me, he will definitely get his back tenfold! we should hire a VJ van and go TP his house!

but seriously, i cannot begin to imagine what you and your son have gone through because of this jerk. just be glad that you know now, and not after the wedding. you still have your whole life ahead of you and the right one will come along. as for now, just do your best to pick up the pieces and start fresh. think on it as a new chapter in your life full of possibilities.

but i am curious and someone can comment please, can't she report him to USCIS for fraud? he signed documents stating that he had intent to marry her. its not that he changed his mind, which he is totally entitled to do. but it seems like he never really wanted to marry her. so to my mind, he lied to the US Gov't. i would seriously look into that, fiona. perhaps there is someone at the consulate who can help you in that respect. i don't advocate revenge (often ), but i think he needs to be aware that he caused a tremendous amount of damage and he should be held responsible for it.

good luck fiona. just know that everyone here wishes you well and take encouragement from all these posts. we are rooting for you to be happy and find peace and joy in your life.

all the best,

naya.

[idocare 3]

I just want you to know that you are not alone when it comes to being abused by the person that you trust your heart too, you see I too have gone thru some bad changes as a result of trusting the man that I loved and thought he loved me too. Our outcome is similiar, except I had a child and I'm the USC.

I had a baby for my husband and before the child was one month old this man abandoned us, I maxed- out my credit cards getting him the latest medical books, lectures and questions for him to take his step one USMLE test. I went to work pregnant while he stayed at home and studied for his medical test( At his request ) until I started missing too many days and bills were piling up, so I asked him to look for work, which he didn't want to do.

I can go on, but I won't. The long and short of my story is that this man is a doctor in his hometown Nigeria, and he knew that if he could only get to America he could make it on his own, he just needed someone, anyone to help him get by Immigration in his homeland Nigeria ( I also payed for his plane tickett here to the states, as many of us USC do ) and to past his Step 1 for his medical license, and the rest he could get help from Nigerians already here. ( That's what I now think )

Orginally before he came here, he was telling me that he loved me and that we'd work on our problems should any occur and breaking a marriage wasen't in his plans, he told me that in his tribe when men marry they marry for life, however once he got here and we married, things changed and he had a new attitude, he would start arguments and do things to purposely get a negative response from me then he starting moving in and out of the apartment, and eventually left for good, when our son was less then one month old, now during our divorce he's telling the judge lies with nothing to back them up, so now I know this man never wanted me and has nothing to do with his son, but goes to court and say that I won't let him see him.

So you see, I'm also in a messy situation, this man went from a loving caring men to a cut throat type scammer. Fiona, I can identify with your feeling, but now you know that your not alone, and I bet that there are others out there that have been thru this process and landed worse off then the both of us.

I like to think that God put me in this situation because he knows that I can and will handle it well and he will get the glory out of it, no matter what , to God be all the Glory. And to my dear husband, may he gets all that he deserve's, like someone has mentioned, what comes around goes around, so try hard to focus on rebuilding your life and your son, I know it's easier said then done but try, then rejoice in the fact that one day you and your son will remember this experience as a lesson learned.

Karen

[JanaknJanet 0]

First of all I wish to say... HUGSSSS....

NEVER NEVER be ashamed of what actions someone else places upon you ..

Persons like him.. will get their due.. .. best be when it affects him most.. ..

he will get his life rug pulled out from under him.. schumck.. ..

Main thing.. be strong.. .. Hold your head high... remember... your Son.. will learn.

Know that he sees the actions of this man... he will remember.. and will remember that

this is not a way any lady should be treated. If anything at all is learned from this whole situation

just knowing you and your son.. can stand on your own feet.. no matter where.. or how.. you

are much better without this..

It hurts.. yes.. but please dont cause this to get you to lose faith in men..

Your love will be there.. one day when you least expect it.. ..

Until then.. thank god that you found out now.. .. before.. something really bad happened..

If he could have treated you as this before you marry.. can you imagine what could have

happened once you were here and married... ..

[mike&jie 0]

So very Sorry to hear this , for your son and yourself , be stong.

never feel shame for things you have not done

Fiona, We all here at vj , Wish you the best of luck.

And many happy days ahead for you and your son

[Joe and Pim 0]

Fionna,

I feel just awful reading about what you went thru! What makes a person want to do something so horrible as to what you have endured?

Don't give up on love. Keep searching and smiling!

Pim and Joe

[lolo2358 0]

Fiona, I'm really sorry to hear about what you are going through. Stay strong and keep faith.

good luck for the future

[dreamchaser 0]

Just when I thought I had no more tears to shed, I read all your kind messages and again, the tears fall.

Thanks you all so very much, it was so lovely and encouraging to read all your messages, and from the bottom of my heart I thank you all.

And wish all of your on this journey, the best of luck and happiness.

Fiona

[daisy16 0]

Lots of hugs for you Fiona. You are a strong woman. Your son is blessed to have such a wonderful mom. Thank you for your candor to post your experiences, I'm sure it will help someone in the same situation.

You can do this. When you need support, VJ is here.

Edited February 17, 2006 by daisy16

[Miwa 0]

Just when I thought I had no more tears to shed, I read all your kind messages and again, the tears fall.

Thanks you all so very much, it was so lovely and encouraging to read all your messages, and from the bottom of my heart I thank you all.

And wish all of your on this journey, the best of luck and happiness.

Fiona

You are really nice in that you can still find it in your heart to wish us luck and happiness. That scumbag missed out on the best thing he could ever have in his life.

Good luck to you for the readjustment and all. My thoughts are with you right now...

By the way, I am the beneficiary of a K-1 visa process.

[saruno1958 0]

My heart truly goes out to Fiona. Never stop believing that there is someone out there for you. I know this is difficult now. But finding true love in this world is priceless. It will find you when you least expect it.

Scott