Married 8 months, wife cheated on me with 3 men

[Old Dominion 26]

Good luck. Don't bother with USCIS until you get your divorce situation straight and sever your legal ties with her. Get her out of the house so you can honestly say you have ceased to co-habit.

Unfortunately, infidelity is no basis for a deportation order. Did she begin this as soon as she got her green card?

[Nanusia & Lukaszek 0]

I'm sorry about the crappy situation you are in.

Cheating once, forgiveable if wanted to be forgiven, but cheating with 3 men is just a flat out disregard for you as a husband. Not only should you not take it, I say let her have whats coming.

Since she can file by herself to remove conditions, make sure it is known that the marriage was not entered in good faith. So lets get started on your proof:

1. send a letter to USCIS with what happened, and that you are seeking to divorce, make sure to write her A# on the letter. I hear of people writing about how bad "jane doe" is, and there are many of them by that name in their system. Make sure the A# is on your letter, so it will pertain to the right person.

2. remove her from anything you have mutually, insurances, bills, cars, homes, leases, whatever it is, take her name off.

3. burn, shred or whatever, any evidence of you mutually living together (those in #2). Without evidence of mutually living together, it will be very hard for her to remove conditions

4. toss her a$$ out of your house. she already got a ride on your dime, time to face the beautiful america she wanted.

5. i'm kinda surprised polish girls do this nowadays. They can immigrate to England, Ireland, anywhere in Europe to work with much better prospects than the US, odd.

[esoll 0]

I'm sorry about the crappy situation you are in.

Cheating once, forgiveable if wanted to be forgiven, but cheating with 3 men is just a flat out disregard for you as a husband. Not only should you not take it, I say let her have whats coming.

Since she can file by herself to remove conditions, make sure it is known that the marriage was not entered in good faith. So lets get started on your proof:

1. send a letter to USCIS with what happened, and that you are seeking to divorce, make sure to write her A# on the letter. I hear of people writing about how bad "jane doe" is, and there are many of them by that name in their system. Make sure the A# is on your letter, so it will pertain to the right person.

2. remove her from anything you have mutually, insurances, bills, cars, homes, leases, whatever it is, take her name off.

3. burn, shred or whatever, any evidence of you mutually living together (those in #2). Without evidence of mutually living together, it will be very hard for her to remove conditions

4. toss her a$$ out of your house. she already got a ride on your dime, time to face the beautiful america she wanted.

5. i'm kinda surprised polish girls do this nowadays. They can immigrate to England, Ireland, anywhere in Europe to work with much better prospects than the US, odd.

Can she really be tossed out the house!! Not sure about that, they might have both equal right to stay in their home. For that matter he might have to move out. The think I will be concern with is what the wife could do or fabricate about abuse. If his wife entered into this marriage with the sole intention of using him to stay in the US, she can run out the house screaming murder and have a neighboor call the police. At that point his problem will really start.

ESoll

[JaEnglishGirl 34]

I would take her name off everything, but NOT divorce her. Let HER file and pay for the divorce, and i'd drag out the divorce too, she can't file to lift conditions if you are still married without you being at the interview.

I would also not give her a SHRED of evidence to help show proof of marriage, ie photos, bills with both names on it.

[Nanusia & Lukaszek 0]

Are you saying you would live in the house peacefully while your spouse ran around with other people? I bet living at his home is not what the cheating wife wants, as its infringing on her ability to do what she wants with whomever she wants.

He can give her a 30day notice, I think that would be fair.

The abuse card can be played, so some cautions need to be taken. Maybe he can talk to neighbors (not to air dirty laundry) but in case she does pull something like screaming murder, to have them know what she's capable of.

[Nanusia & Lukaszek 0]

I would take her name off everything, but NOT divorce her. Let HER file and pay for the divorce, and i'd drag out the divorce too, she can't file to lift conditions if you are still married without you being at the interview.I would also not give her a SHRED of evidence to help show proof of marriage, ie photos, bills with both names on it.

She can file to remove conditions and never be requested to interview. Best bet is to shred all mutual evidence, and make sure she doesnt have access to his credit cards, checking accounts to run up crazy items before she departs.

[esoll 0]

Are you saying you would live in the house peacefully while your spouse ran around with other people? I bet living at his home is not what the cheating wife wants, as its infringing on her ability to do what she wants with whomever she wants.

He can give her a 30day notice, I think that would be fair.

The abuse card can be played, so some cautions need to be taken. Maybe he can talk to neighbors (not to air dirty laundry) but in case she does pull something like screaming murder, to have them know what she's capable of.

I would not! but there is the legal aspect of 'who can stay in the house'. Since it is a good practice to have your spouse on a lease or home ownership, the cheater wife can invoque her right to stay in the house and have her husband move out and depending on the couple's money/income condition have the husband pay for the lease or mortgage. It is not an impossible scenario.

If I was in his situation and know the marriage is ending, I would find out what she wants, since the husband has not much saying in the matter of removing her condition, I would facilitate and help her with this process but would ask for repayment of the money spend on the K1 process.

I would try to see this matter with my head and not my hart or anger. Hard to do tho!. However at the end it becomes a business transaction.

ESoll

[Nanusia & Lukaszek 0]

If I was in his situation and know the marriage is ending, I would find out what she wants, since the husband has not much saying in the matter of removing her condition, I would facilitate and help her with this process but would ask for repayment of the money spend on the K1 process.

I would try to see this matter with my head and not my hart or anger. Hard to do tho!. However at the end it becomes a business transaction.

ESoll

I would not help a spouse that has treated the other like #######, cheated with random men (plural!!!) I think you have to draw the line somewhere on being civil, and being walked on.

[Chica Yeyé 41]

Seems to me it's not about what any of us would do, but about what the OP decides to do. Moral high horses are not too flattering...

[rika60607 215]

According to April 2009 USICS memo,

she can file to remove conditions with a waiver prior to divorce being complete. RFE notice will be sent to her with request for divorce decree and 87 days to provide it.

However, doesn't her cheating constitute a crime of moral turpitide?

OP - I am sorry this happened to you. Nobody deserves this kind of treatment.

I would take her name off everything, but NOT divorce her. Let HER file and pay for the divorce, and i'd drag out the divorce too, she can't file to lift conditions if you are still married without you being at the interview.I would also not give her a SHRED of evidence to help show proof of marriage, ie photos, bills with both names on it.

She can file to remove conditions and never be requested to interview. Best bet is to shred all mutual evidence, and make sure she doesnt have access to his credit cards, checking accounts to run up crazy items before she departs.

[Chica Yeyé 41]

No. Cheating is not a crime. Period. It is fvcked up, but not a crime.

[Hiep & Thao 0]

Just get a clean divorce to keep yourself away from potential problems, like a ruined credit or accusation of abuse etc...

Then think back to see if she fabricated any evidence to USCIS or the Consulate in order to get the green card.

In the end, everybody gets what they ask for... you may not have to do anything. Just go on with your life, get back with your family & friends.

Good luck

[esoll 0]

If I was in his situation and know the marriage is ending, I would find out what she wants, since the husband has not much saying in the matter of removing her condition, I would facilitate and help her with this process but would ask for repayment of the money spend on the K1 process.

I would try to see this matter with my head and not my hart or anger. Hard to do tho!. However at the end it becomes a business transaction.

ESoll

I would not help a spouse that has treated the other like #######, cheated with random men (plural!!!) I think you have to draw the line somewhere on being civil, and being walked on.

It is a fact that he has been walked on already. However I think it will be beneficial for him to remove all the sentiments out of this process. However it is not easy to act with a cold head.

He has a couple choices.

1) To fight her to the end and the end result will be "A granted 10 years green card" Long fight that will take its toll and could be costly for him. In a few years he will look at it and be thinking he had been had with all the bitterness that comes with it.

2) To make it a business transaction and the end result will be "A granted 10 years green card" but the fight, cost and bitterness has been removed. In the future he will have a much better feeling about himself, he might even think he was the better man.

IMO

ESoll

[Brother Hesekiel 2,235]

Dear Master,

(do you really call yourself Master? What do you master or what are you Master of?)

In any case, Master, you omit some really relevant information, so let's sum up what we know, and carefully fill in the blanks, shall we?

1) You live in the US, one of the richest countries in the World, a country where millions of people would like to immigrate to.

2) It's a country of 300,000,000 residents, many of whom would be women of the right age group that you potentially could have married.

3) You instead chose to import a woman from a country with extreme high fraud rate. Let me ask you, did you discover your now-and-still-wife on the Internet, or did you actually get to know her in person before marrying her?

4) The woman comes here, you marry her, she takes off and does what she does best, just with other men.

5) You are upset, of course, that's understandable, but are you really surprised?

1) I am confident that she is quite informed about the further plan of action to pursue. She will find a divorce attorney, for whose services YOU will pay. (You said she doesn't work and doesn't want to work, correct?)

2) She will remove conditions on her own, possibly even claiming her "Master" abused her. But even if she doesn't go that far, she'll most likely will be able to get her 10-year Green Card.

3) Since you signed an affidavit of support for her, which USCIS has on file, you'll be paying through the nose for the next decade for your non-working wife. By 2019, however, you'll be free again. Broke perhaps, with more gray hair then Tailor Hicks, but free.

So is there any upside to this? Yes, there is. Believe me, you are not alone. There are quite a few people who married somebody they don't know well enough and then experience a hard landing when reality kicks in. For you it may be a hard lesson to learn, but I'm hopeful you will learn it and won't make such a paramount mistake again. For others, it's a valuable lesson, a repeat one, to be careful and take a marriage step by step, not like a parts order over the Internet.

Wish you the very best for your future, Master.

Bob

[DerekJ 0]

Are you saying you would live in the house peacefully while your spouse ran around with other people? I bet living at his home is not what the cheating wife wants, as its infringing on her ability to do what she wants with whomever she wants.

He can give her a 30day notice, I think that would be fair.

The abuse card can be played, so some cautions need to be taken. Maybe he can talk to neighbors (not to air dirty laundry) but in case she does pull something like screaming murder, to have them know what she's capable of.

I would not! but there is the legal aspect of 'who can stay in the house'. Since it is a good practice to have your spouse on a lease or home ownership, the cheater wife can invoque her right to stay in the house and have her husband move out and depending on the couple's money/income condition have the husband pay for the lease or mortgage. It is not an impossible scenario.

If I was in his situation and know the marriage is ending, I would find out what she wants, since the husband has not much saying in the matter of removing her condition, I would facilitate and help her with this process but would ask for repayment of the money spend on the K1 process.

I would try to see this matter with my head and not my hart or anger. Hard to do tho!. However at the end it becomes a business transaction.

ESoll

Best advice seen today. In most states, both parties have equal rights to the marital residence regardless of who is at fault for the divorce. Definitely make this a business transaction, split any joint property you acquired during the marriage. You'll get to keep the majority of what you had before the marriage. By all means, take the high ground. If you make it nasty, it could come back to bite you.