PREGNANT , HUSBAND DOESNT LIKE IT..

[ETEEANDME 0]

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Pleasant Day Everyone!

This is my friends problem, She was pregnant and her husband didnt like it, She knew even before that he doesnt want to have anoter child, because he already had child to previous relationship.and besides my friend said that her husband is in late mid 50's so its kind a awkward for him to see a little kid around him..They have an argument that if she want to get pregnant she should divorced him and find another man. She just got her two year conditional green card. Her husband didnt know that she is pregnant yet. She didnt get pregnant on purpose, She plan to go back to her country if her husband got pissed at her being pregnant.. Any advice?..

[Aniomaman 0]

What kind of advice would you like? I think this is a family issue that should be handled as such, not something for a forum.

[Nessa 23]

i :wuv: the smell of troll in the morning

[Amby 490]

i :wuv: the smell of troll in the morning

[NickD 203]

Wife and I would love to have a baby, met a couple of years too late, something about an early menopause. Damn, those that don't want a child get one, and those that do, don't. Bringing a child into this world that is half hers and half you is a true seal of love.

If he doesn't want his own baby, we would take it, but maybe not, if the kid turns out like him, would be selfish and self-centered, could be in for a miserable life.

[Nessa 23]

i meant

[thongd4me 69]

Wife and I would love to have a baby, met a couple of years too late, something about an early menopause. Damn, those that don't want a child get one, and those that do, don't. Bringing a child into this world that is half hers and half you is a true seal of love.

If he doesn't want his own baby, we would take it, but maybe not, if the kid turns out like him, would be selfish and self-centered, could be in for a miserable life.

My sentiments ditto. If she was pregnant I'd consider that a major blessing.

The foundation of our relationship is great communication aided and abetted by great sex.

Along with this comes forgiveness and acceptance.

In her case (the starter of this thread), there is no need for forgiveness

because (I assume) he had a hand in the pregnancy.

This made it HIS choice, whether he likes it or not.

His wife, his pregnancy.

Acceptance by him should be MANDATORY.

This couple has a Filipina wife and the Catholic church may play a role in this,

but that is not where I'm coming from.

At the first sign of balking she should tell her she is going home if he doesn't accept it.

It's better for him to be resentful of her than to be resentful of his own kid.

In all relationships, each one will do things that the other doesn't like.

This should not apply here because she didn't act alone.

Acceptance has to be mutual and complete.

Anything less is a time bomb.

[thongd4me 69]

Also if she does go home, she shouldn't burn her bridges entirely.

Christianity also preaches FORGIVENESS.

That will be possible if he shows her he was a stupid jerk and is genuinely sorry.

Her position should NOT be "I hate YOU!" but rather,

"I love you but you are temporarily out of your senses,

because I can't accept what you are doing to our child."

When he is ready to do the right thing she should forgive that.

Once the air is cleared, that subject should NEVER come up again,

either in jest or in an argument.

Edited August 8, 2009 by thongd4me

[one...two...tree 2,762]

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Pleasant Day Everyone!

This is my friends problem, She was pregnant and her husband didnt like it, She knew even before that he doesnt want to have anoter child, because he already had child to previous relationship.and besides my friend said that her husband is in late mid 50's so its kind a awkward for him to see a little kid around him..They have an argument that if she want to get pregnant she should divorced him and find another man. She just got her two year conditional green card. Her husband didnt know that she is pregnant yet. She didnt get pregnant on purpose, She plan to go back to her country if her husband got pissed at her being pregnant.. Any advice?..

It's both their problem, not just hers. The husband better come up with a better solution than divorce that they can both agree on.

[Niels Bohr 72]

Heck, if the husband loves the wife, then there's no need to run away. In fact, running away gives the father more benefits because he's not paying child support.

I'm sure it'll work out. I mean, a relationship is about responsibilities as well. If the father doesn't want to responsible for the kid, then he's a 50 year old scumbag who just like to stick his ####### into holes and expect nothing to happen.

[Ban Hammer 14,273]

Heck, if the husband loves the wife, then there's no need to run away. In fact, running away gives the father more benefits because he's not paying child support.

I'm sure it'll work out. I mean, a relationship is about responsibilities as well. If the father doesn't want to responsible for the kid, then he's a 50 year old scumbag who just like to stick his ####### into holes and expect nothing to happen.

don't bet on that.

[NigeriaorBust 4,087]

A child is a major commitment and should be planned for. It is unfair of one party to expect to surprise the other with a pregnancy when the other has expressed an opposite position. There are effective ways not to get pregnant and they should be followed until the couple agrees it is the right time. If the couple can't agree on having children they should consider ending the relationship. Many abused children started off as surprises for their parents. At this point there are abortion and adoption as options.

[Niels Bohr 72]

Heck, if the husband loves the wife, then there's no need to run away. In fact, running away gives the father more benefits because he's not paying child support.

I'm sure it'll work out. I mean, a relationship is about responsibilities as well. If the father doesn't want to responsible for the kid, then he's a 50 year old scumbag who just like to stick his ####### into holes and expect nothing to happen.

don't bet on that.

If she moves to another country? Can she still be paid child support? I don't know that's why I'm asking.

Edited August 8, 2009 by Niels Bohr

[Kathryn41 3,205]

50% of the situation is his. If he really didn't want to have another child he should have made sure that they were using proper birth control or he had had a vasectomy. He can't blame her for getting pregnant - after all, he was involved too. As an older individual I would actually expect him to take even more responsibility for preventing a pregnancy if he didn't want a child. Since there now is a child, he can't run away and pretend it is all her fault or she is to blame. She is his wife - for better or for worse - not 'for as long as you don't have a child even though we will have sex'. These are things he should have thought about before getting involved with a younger woman. He needs to step up to the plate and take responsibility. If she wants to leave him and take the child to go back home, that is one thing but she shouldn't leave because she is afraid of his 'displeasure'.

[Bobby+Umit 161]

Pro-Choice?