Burn, baby, burn: Simon Cowell battered by Mediterranean sun

[Peikko 1,575]

Simon Cowell looking pasty leaving his hotel in Scotland on 12 July, and after sunbathing in St Tropez on 20 July. Photograph: Matrixphotos.com/FilmMagic

As befits a man of his fabulous wealth and talent, Simon Cowell enjoys many of the trappings of the LA lifestyle. But while he has the cars, the mansions, the high-waisted but exquisitely tailored trousers – there is one thing about him that remains resolutely, even defiantly, English: his skin.

Like his fellow countrymen, the pop mogul seems to be cursed with an epidermis that burns like milk before a flamethrower when he ventures out of the shade.

This picture, snapped in St Tropez, suggests the 49-year-old has either been held hostage by a disgruntled sunbed or seriously underestimated the furious power of the Mediterranean sun.

Whatever the cause, his battle scars are all too familiar. First there is the bright pink hue of the flesh, reminiscent of a lobster freshly plucked from the pot but yet to be covered with a cheesy duvet of thermidor sauce.

Then there are the pale peephole eyes, a painful reminder that there was at least one part of himself that Cowell did remember to cover.

Finally there is the classic white T-shirt, a humbling garment which, in its own mute fashion, speaks eloquent volumes about the before and after eras of Cowell's sun-tortured flesh.

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[Amby 490]

ouch!

[Niels Bohr 72]

wholly #######! fell asleep eh!

[Emancipation 2]

funny i always blame the scottish side of my fam for my burning in the summer.. perhaps I should blame the english side!

[~*Maria*~ 1]

funny i always blame the scottish side of my fam for my burning in the summer.. perhaps I should blame the english side!

uh huh i agree! blame the english!

I u Amber!

[almaty 19]

he looks like a dog's pecker

[jundp 191]

I find Simon Cowell oddly and disturbingly attractive.

[Peikko 1,575]

I find Simon Cowell oddly and disturbingly attractive.

I find this post oddly disturbing

[almaty 19]

I find Simon Cowell oddly and disturbingly attractive.

aw sheesh..gag me with a spoon

[Welshcookie 17]

Like his fellow countrymen, the pop mogul seems to be cursed with an epidermis that burns like milk before a flamethrower when he ventures out of the shade.

[Peikko 1,575]

Indeed, the only thing bigger than his ego seems to be his ability to burn when exposed to sunlight. Perhaps he's a vampire???

Like his fellow countrymen, the pop mogul seems to be cursed with an epidermis that burns like milk before a flamethrower when he ventures out of the shade.

I love the way the Guardian journalists express themselves. I am biased towards the paper as a result

Even despite their penchant for spoiling mistakes and grammatical no no's.

[jundp 191]

I find Simon Cowell oddly and disturbingly attractive.

I find this post oddly disturbing

I know. It disturbs me too. I also was strangely attracted to Edward Norton in the movie American History X. Sometimes my subconscious frightens me.

[I AM NOT THAT GUY 5,715]

I find Simon Cowell oddly and disturbingly attractive.

Me too, and it's frightening!

[Ban Hammer 12,835]

I find Simon Cowell oddly and disturbingly attractive.

Me too, and it's frightening!

[Jenn! 918]

I also was strangely attracted to Edward Norton in the movie American History X.

Not so strange if you ignore the neo-Nazi thing and just attribute it to the hot body!