Question.

[Chris_Жанна 11]

So I was just reading another post earlier. Someone stated in the thread that the consul at the embassy may deem the relationship invalid if you got engaged after the first time you met. Is this true? I got engaged to my S/O the 1st time we met when she came here to visit me on her tourist visa. We had talked for months before deciding to meet. And we both knew we had strong feeling for each other but just were not sure what to call what we had before we had met. Well, when we did meet we both knew that we were "it" for each other. We are not children we are both 31 and have had plenty of other relationships in our pasts and although this is not an orthodox situation I'm sure I cannot be the first. Do I need to worry about this when interview time comes? I am having a hard time with this whole process, I feel like our lives are being audited and that I must defend what love is to me. I mean it's not like we just went to Vegas, got drunk and decided "Hey, wanna get married?" I mean I don't wanna get into the dynamics of our relationship but we both know it is real. Any advice?

[Starlight95 1]

So I was just reading another post earlier. Someone stated in the thread that the consul at the embassy may deem the relationship invalid if you got engaged after the first time you met. Is this true? I got engaged to my S/O the 1st time we met when she came here to visit me on her tourist visa. We had talked for months before deciding to meet. And we both knew we had strong feeling for each other but just were not sure what to call what we had before we had met. Well, when we did meet we both knew that we were "it" for each other. We are not children we are both 31 and have had plenty of other relationships in our pasts and although this is not an orthodox situation I'm sure I cannot be the first. Do I need to worry about this when interview time comes? I am having a hard time with this whole process, I feel like our lives are being audited and that I must defend what love is to me. I mean it's not like we just went to Vegas, got drunk and decided "Hey, wanna get married?" I mean I don't wanna get into the dynamics of our relationship but we both know it is real. Any advice?

No, seriously I don't think its a big deal as long as you have met in person at least once. I have read about numerous K-1 filers who just met for the 1st time and got engaged, and successfully finished the process and obtained the visa. As long as you have sufficient evidence than you are fine. Pictures can be the best evidence of all. With the job market being so bad, its really hard for people to travel to see their loves ones as often.

Edited July 7, 2009 by Starlight95

[JimVaPhuong 4,863]

So I was just reading another post earlier. Someone stated in the thread that the consul at the embassy may deem the relationship invalid if you got engaged after the first time you met. Is this true? I got engaged to my S/O the 1st time we met when she came here to visit me on her tourist visa. We had talked for months before deciding to meet. And we both knew we had strong feeling for each other but just were not sure what to call what we had before we had met. Well, when we did meet we both knew that we were "it" for each other. We are not children we are both 31 and have had plenty of other relationships in our pasts and although this is not an orthodox situation I'm sure I cannot be the first. Do I need to worry about this when interview time comes? I am having a hard time with this whole process, I feel like our lives are being audited and that I must defend what love is to me. I mean it's not like we just went to Vegas, got drunk and decided "Hey, wanna get married?" I mean I don't wanna get into the dynamics of our relationship but we both know it is real. Any advice?

Where the "engagement after first meeting" becomes relevant is in countries where it's contrary to tradition and customs. You've probably seen this pointed out as a possible "red flag" for people with SO's in Southeast Asia, where it's customary for a formal engagement ceremony to be planned for months AFTER the proposal. In those countries it looks very fishy to the consulate when the US citizen meets his fiance for the first time, proposes, and has an engagement ceremony, all packed into the same two week visit.

In countries with more modern social conventions, you shouldn't have any problems.

[Chris_Жанна 11]

Thank you both. I have found this site to be of great help and sometimes great anxiety. I was unaware of these practices. Thank you again for the peace of mind. Much appreciated!

[JimVaPhuong 4,863]

Thank you both. I have found this site to be of great help and sometimes great anxiety. I was unaware of these practices. Thank you again for the peace of mind. Much appreciated!

I'll give you an example.

You see my avatar? That's me and my fiancee at our engagement ceremony. What you don't see are the 40 other people in attendance for the ceremony (including representatives of my family who flew to Vietnam just for this occasion), nor the Buddhist temple behind the garden we are standing in, nor the fancy gifts presented by my family procession to hers, nor the dozen Buddhist monks in attendance. The outfits we are wearing are traditional, and were hand tailored for the event. Following this traditional ceremony, we had a large party with over 100 guests, a seven course meal, lots of beverages, and live entertainment. We rented out an entire restaurant. I bought a tuxedo just for the party because it was impossible to rent one locally that would fit me, and would cost too much to rent one in the US for the entire two weeks I would be gone. We also hired a photographer and videographer to record the event. In all, it took three months to plan everything, and cost me around $7000.

By local customs, our engagement ceremony and party were somewhat modest, but this is what would be more or less expected prior to a genuine marriage. A poor family might begin saving when their children are very young just to make sure they honor the family with a proper celebration when the time comes. If the family of the groom couldn't afford to offer a lavish celebration to the family of the bride, then their son isn't ready to be married.

By contrast, a hastily arranged ceremony and party with rented attire and only a couple of dozen people in attendance would be seen as highly suspicious to the consulate. A Vietnamese family wouldn't dishonor the family of the bride by throwing together a cheap affair, but they might go along with one like this if the ultimate goal was to reunite the bride with family in the US.

Anyway, the consulate in your SO's country is going to look at the relationship the same way a local person might. If a local person wouldn't think the circumstances are unusual, then the consulate won't either.

[Chris_Жанна 11]

Thank you both. I have found this site to be of great help and sometimes great anxiety. I was unaware of these practices. Thank you again for the peace of mind. Much appreciated!

I'll give you an example.

You see my avatar? That's me and my fiancee at our engagement ceremony. What you don't see are the 40 other people in attendance for the ceremony (including representatives of my family who flew to Vietnam just for this occasion), nor the Buddhist temple behind the garden we are standing in, nor the fancy gifts presented by my family procession to hers, nor the dozen Buddhist monks in attendance. The outfits we are wearing are traditional, and were hand tailored for the event. Following this traditional ceremony, we had a large party with over 100 guests, a seven course meal, lots of beverages, and live entertainment. We rented out an entire restaurant. I bought a tuxedo just for the party because it was impossible to rent one locally that would fit me, and would cost too much to rent one in the US for the entire two weeks I would be gone. We also hired a photographer and videographer to record the event. In all, it took three months to plan everything, and cost me around $7000.

By local customs, our engagement ceremony and party were somewhat modest, but this is what would be more or less expected prior to a genuine marriage. A poor family might begin saving when their children are very young just to make sure they honor the family with a proper celebration when the time comes. If the family of the groom couldn't afford to offer a lavish celebration to the family of the bride, then their son isn't ready to be married.

By contrast, a hastily arranged ceremony and party with rented attire and only a couple of dozen people in attendance would be seen as highly suspicious to the consulate. A Vietnamese family wouldn't dishonor the family of the bride by throwing together a cheap affair, but they might go along with one like this if the ultimate goal was to reunite the bride with family in the US.

Anyway, the consulate in your SO's country is going to look at the relationship the same way a local person might. If a local person wouldn't think the circumstances are unusual, then the consulate won't either.

It is always great to learn about different cultures and customs. Very interesting. I really had no idea that an engagement ceremonies there was that big of a "to-do" or was this just more of a local tradition as opposed to all of Vietnam? From what I have read it seems that it is much more difficult for petitioners in the South East Asia area to go through this process. Thank you for sharing you experience.

[Carolina+James 1]

Thank you both. I have found this site to be of great help and sometimes great anxiety. I was unaware of these practices. Thank you again for the peace of mind. Much appreciated!

I'll give you an example.

You see my avatar? That's me and my fiancee at our engagement ceremony. What you don't see are the 40 other people in attendance for the ceremony (including representatives of my family who flew to Vietnam just for this occasion), nor the Buddhist temple behind the garden we are standing in, nor the fancy gifts presented by my family procession to hers, nor the dozen Buddhist monks in attendance. The outfits we are wearing are traditional, and were hand tailored for the event. Following this traditional ceremony, we had a large party with over 100 guests, a seven course meal, lots of beverages, and live entertainment. We rented out an entire restaurant. I bought a tuxedo just for the party because it was impossible to rent one locally that would fit me, and would cost too much to rent one in the US for the entire two weeks I would be gone. We also hired a photographer and videographer to record the event. In all, it took three months to plan everything, and cost me around $7000.

By local customs, our engagement ceremony and party were somewhat modest, but this is what would be more or less expected prior to a genuine marriage. A poor family might begin saving when their children are very young just to make sure they honor the family with a proper celebration when the time comes. If the family of the groom couldn't afford to offer a lavish celebration to the family of the bride, then their son isn't ready to be married.

By contrast, a hastily arranged ceremony and party with rented attire and only a couple of dozen people in attendance would be seen as highly suspicious to the consulate. A Vietnamese family wouldn't dishonor the family of the bride by throwing together a cheap affair, but they might go along with one like this if the ultimate goal was to reunite the bride with family in the US.

Anyway, the consulate in your SO's country is going to look at the relationship the same way a local person might. If a local person wouldn't think the circumstances are unusual, then the consulate won't either.

That must have been so pretty! Thank you for sharing that! Both because it is nice to know a different culture, and because I was on a doubt about that too, if going only once to meet the loved one was not enough, after reading a post earlier! Though I was a little less concerned, since I spent 6 whole months with my fiance, and he just proposed to me a day before I left to Brazil, which I hope will count as a good point.

[baron555 934]

So I was just reading another post earlier. Someone stated in the thread that the consul at the embassy may deem the relationship invalid if you got engaged after the first time you met. Is this true? I got engaged to my S/O the 1st time we met when she came here to visit me on her tourist visa. We had talked for months before deciding to meet. And we both knew we had strong feeling for each other but just were not sure what to call what we had before we had met. Well, when we did meet we both knew that we were "it" for each other. We are not children we are both 31 and have had plenty of other relationships in our pasts and although this is not an orthodox situation I'm sure I cannot be the first. Do I need to worry about this when interview time comes? I am having a hard time with this whole process, I feel like our lives are being audited and that I must defend what love is to me. I mean it's not like we just went to Vegas, got drunk and decided "Hey, wanna get married?" I mean I don't wanna get into the dynamics of our relationship but we both know it is real. Any advice?

We got engaged during our first meeting also. You will need to bring proof of an ongoing relationship to the interview. You have already sent your statements that you are both free to marry and your intentions to marry within 90 days of the beneficiary coming to the US. Your burden is to prove you have a relationship; nothing more. Then when you AOS you will have to show proof of a real and ongoing marriage, nothing else. I wouldn't worry about it.

[Victor&Cory 1]

We also got engaged after our first meeting. Like you we spoke for several months before even deciding to meet, 7 months to be exact. That was enough time to know what we were made of and what we wanted. The meeting only confirmed that we really want to be together.

PEACE.............

[Alan D. 0]

I'll give you an example.

You see my avatar? That's me and my fiancee at our engagement ceremony. What you don't see are the 40 other people in attendance for the ceremony (including representatives of my family who flew to Vietnam just for this occasion), nor the Buddhist temple behind the garden we are standing in, nor the fancy gifts presented by my family procession to hers, nor the dozen Buddhist monks in attendance. The outfits we are wearing are

..

Jim, that is way cool to hear. I know I will be experiencing something similar with a Thai Buddhist wedding. I know there is (traditionally) supposed to be an engagement ceremony to go along with that, but we haven't talked about that part at all.

Some cultures are endlessly fascinating and I will always feel profound awe and appreciation for what appear to me to be strange traditions. But it's beautiful nonetheless.

I also liked your explanation of why it was important. I never thought about it that much.

[jparis 0]

hi guys..

i'm new in this site, we'll me and my fiancee has been talking through the internet for almost 3 years now and we're actually engage before our 1st anniversary, he sent the ring through fedex. it's funny or weird or whatever you call it..but i do love this guy so much..we haven't met yet,he's planning to visit me in the philippines this cming october, youi think the consul will find it weird? i mean, i'm Asian, but let's just say i don't follow that tradition religiously, cause we're in the modern age right now..my thing is if you love each other go follow your heart..we'll my family knows him already . you think once we file our k1 visa and once i'll be interviewed you think the consul will find it strange that we're engage really through the internet and the ring was sent through fedex? should i tell them that?

thanks i need your opinion guys..

thank you,

jparis

[jparis 0]

hi guys..

i'm new in this site, we'll me and my fiancee has been talking through the internet for almost 3 years now and we're actually engage before our 1st anniversary, he sent the ring through fedex. it's funny or weird or whatever you call it..but i do love this guy so much..we haven't met yet,he's planning to visit me in the philippines this cming october, youi think the consul will find it weird? i mean, i'm Asian, but let's just say i don't follow that tradition religiously, cause we're in the modern age right now..my thing is if you love each other go follow your heart..we'll my family knows him already . you think once we file our k1 visa and once i'll be interviewed you think the consul will find it strange that we're engage really through the internet and the ring was sent through fedex? should i tell them that?

thanks i need your opinion guys..

thank you,

jparis

[Mike & Miche 0]

hi guys..

i'm new in this site, we'll me and my fiancee has been talking through the internet for almost 3 years now and we're actually engage before our 1st anniversary, he sent the ring through fedex. it's funny or weird or whatever you call it..but i do love this guy so much..we haven't met yet,he's planning to visit me in the philippines this cming october, youi think the consul will find it weird? i mean, i'm Asian, but let's just say i don't follow that tradition religiously, cause we're in the modern age right now..my thing is if you love each other go follow your heart..we'll my family knows him already . you think once we file our k1 visa and once i'll be interviewed you think the consul will find it strange that we're engage really through the internet and the ring was sent through fedex? should i tell them that?

thanks i need your opinion guys..

thank you,

jparis

If I am reading correctly, you have not yet met in person. If that is the case, then you most likely will have problems with the initial petition review. You absolutely must be able to prove that you have been together, in person (doesnt matter where) at least one time. Flight receipts, hotel receipts, photos together with family, etc etc.

[chinese_mutt 11]

hi guys..

i'm new in this site, we'll me and my fiancee has been talking through the internet for almost 3 years now and we're actually engage before our 1st anniversary, he sent the ring through fedex. it's funny or weird or whatever you call it..but i do love this guy so much..we haven't met yet,he's planning to visit me in the philippines this cming october, youi think the consul will find it weird? i mean, i'm Asian, but let's just say i don't follow that tradition religiously, cause we're in the modern age right now..my thing is if you love each other go follow your heart..we'll my family knows him already . you think once we file our k1 visa and once i'll be interviewed you think the consul will find it strange that we're engage really through the internet and the ring was sent through fedex? should i tell them that?

thanks i need your opinion guys..

thank you,

jparis

If I am reading correctly, you have not yet met in person. If that is the case, then you most likely will have problems with the initial petition review. You absolutely must be able to prove that you have been together, in person (doesnt matter where) at least one time. Flight receipts, hotel receipts, photos together with family, etc etc.

if you will meet this October before filing the K1, then you won't have problems.

if you possibly can, ask him to propose on bended knees again.. haha.. just my thoughts... it's nice to get actual on bended knees proposal. (nothing to do with immigration) i'm a modern women and never thought that i'd get married, but when he went down on his knees... i felt like I was a princess and I still do to this day.

[Gary and Alla 3,694]

So I was just reading another post earlier. Someone stated in the thread that the consul at the embassy may deem the relationship invalid if you got engaged after the first time you met. Is this true? I got engaged to my S/O the 1st time we met when she came here to visit me on her tourist visa. We had talked for months before deciding to meet. And we both knew we had strong feeling for each other but just were not sure what to call what we had before we had met. Well, when we did meet we both knew that we were "it" for each other. We are not children we are both 31 and have had plenty of other relationships in our pasts and although this is not an orthodox situation I'm sure I cannot be the first. Do I need to worry about this when interview time comes? I am having a hard time with this whole process, I feel like our lives are being audited and that I must defend what love is to me. I mean it's not like we just went to Vegas, got drunk and decided "Hey, wanna get married?" I mean I don't wanna get into the dynamics of our relationship but we both know it is real. Any advice?

Consulate specific item. I doubt it is a problem in Moscow if you have sufficient proof of relationship