FIANCE CAME IN, WE WERE MARRIED, THEN SHE LEFT

[belovedbyme 0]

Im sorry man.Just cancel your sponsorhip as what others advice you to do. Make an info pass and do what's best for you. You deserve to be happy and honestly she isn't the kind of wife that you want to be with . Sometimes we need to use our heads when you feel something isn't right. Good luck to you.

[EZgoing378 0]

Dude,

Your main problem is that you want everyone else to tell you what to do. I learned about the K-1 process by hard work and research. Which is what you should have done. You still don't understand the process completely. You have no timeline so we have no way of knowing how long you knew her before you married her 3 days after you finally got the visa. Something tells me that you need to get off the "poor me" wagon and admit that you didn't check this woman out very well. She already had family in the US, that doesn't always mean anything but it is a reason to be a little more careful because she can be using you to get to her family. If she is threatening to call the police on you, it is pretty obvious she took you for a ride. I suggest you withdraw all financial support. Someone earlier said something about if you did that SHE can sue YOU if you do that. That is not correct. If you do not support her and she becomes a public charge, only the public agencies that supported her can sue you and rarely do. She is out of status. Face up to reality and send her a nice letter that you no longer will support her because she has defaulted on your marriage contract. Then you can divorce her. If she didn't file the AOS she is out of status. Also, you never filed your I-864, only the I-134 most likely. That contract is hardly enforceable. When did you meet her and what did you expect when you marry a girl so young who comes from an impoverished situation. She would tell you anything to get to the US. I don't blame her but really the burden was on you to be sure this wasn't happening. If she is a country girl from Mindanao, she is relying on advice given to her by many previous women who got into the US this way. I put the blame where it belongs, on you. You didn't research the situation very well. You certainly don't know your own wife and now instead of looking up the answers for yourself, you come crying to the people who could have saved you from this in the first place. The fact you didn't bother to fill out a timeline shows me that you thought you didn't need anyone from VJ until things went haywire. Sorry to tell you, you blew it. If you can get out of it, I suggest you do. Don't give her any more money to hire lawyers to figure out how to screw you. Use that money to remove her from your responsibility and deported. If her sister wants to file an affidavit of support, she is welcome to. My feeling is that sis doesn't have the means or they would have left you out of the loop. Time to face the facts. When P.T. Barnum made his famous quote, he was talking about you.

[EZgoing378 0]

One more thing, you should annul the marriage before she starts to attach to your assets. This may also protect you from third parties suing you if they provide her from support. Even though they can sue you, the truth is that this doesn't happen too often. You need to protect yourself.

[Triniwaiting 0]

No, I don't want to give up. Of course not. But I don't know what to do, because she won't answer the phone, she's been ignoring me. When she does answer ALL she does is yell. Then she says she's not coming back. That it's been a year and she's tired of trying to make it work. I don't know if she's there planning a divorce. Because she has her sister in her ear. If you know what I mean. Then other family members and mom in California. But I can't see her getting off like that. When I told her the other day that she is leaving me no other choice but to stop processing paperwork, she asked, "Why do you have to do that for?" And I told her, "Well you say you don't know if you still love me, then what am I holding on for?"

You are willing to try and she is not.So clear cut and simple.You have been used.There is no use or need to go through with AOS or having her stay because the moment she is approved she will be leaving you and she does not want you.She simply wants what you may have done for her.Let her go move on with your life.Love can come again.

[bratikicks 0]

Bravo!!!!

She's A BEE OTCH.!! Withdraw your support right now. It's obvious that she used you for the MIGHTY GREEN CARD!! For pete sake you deserve someone better. Talk to your lawyer and stop the AOS process and send the girl back home where she belongs. I am a filipina and I hate that those kind of people are giving us bad reputation. True loving Filipina's are not like that believe me.

[furiousng 2]

What I gather from this is the OP is trying to hang on to something that is not there. In any marriage there are conflicts and there will always be conflicts. What matters is how they are dealt with. She got cranky so she would have an excuse to walk out as was her plan all along. Step up man and do what is best for you and your daughter. I am assuming you at least know what papers you have filed if any. If you have any filed papers rescind your petition for her and let her find her way. Its not worth the emotional stress you putting yourself through.

Edited May 12, 2009 by furiousng

[Chibby 0]

Good freaking everything. How many people actually believe this guy? The whole, "why isn't anyone posting?" and multiple posts right after each other smells like a troll. I find it hard to believe that someone would think that this is actually a chat room. How does one get that impression?

Concur. This looks like a troll post.

He was given his options. He has a lawyer, which can give him advice, that he is paying for.

He complains when people don't post, within minutes of his posting.

He claims he is 37, yet he never read the instructions for the K-1?

To wit, from the I-129F:

How Does Your Alien Fiancé(e) Obtain Permanent Resident Status?

Your alien fiancé(e) may apply for conditional permanent resident status after you have entered into a valid marriage to each other within 90 days of your fiancé(e)'s entry into the United States. Your alien spouse should then apply promptly to USCIS for adjustment of status to conditional permanent resident, using Form I-485, Application to Register or Adjust Status.

So he "missed" that part?

Not only that, but also I was wondering if they didn't get that note from the consulate??? The day I got my passport with the visa inside, the holy sealed envelope with my papers back, there was a note inside the whole package - one side in German, the other side in English - that I have to marry within 90 days of my arrival in the US and afterwards have to contact DHS to see what I have to file to gain conditional resident status.

I already knew what to do through research and VJ, but seriously how can you not care? You already been through a K1 visa, which isn't easy to understand if you're new to all this, so did you think it's just over after that? What did the officers tell her at the port of entry? That she has to get married within 90 days and file Adjustment of Status? That's what my officer said to me. (I can't imagine I'm the only one here)

Then somebody tells you, you have to file something in 2 years, and you just trust them blindly and don't even do some research on your own???

Either this is some trolling going on here, or you're straight ignorant. How did you get through the K1? Did you have a lawyer for that, too? Because if not you must have done some research on how to get through it, and then I'd figure you've heard of what comes after that, too.

Besides all that, I still feel sorry for what happened to you and your marriage. I agree with most of the people here; let it go and cancel the AOS.

Edited May 12, 2009 by Chibby

[headoverheels 0]

If things didn't go her way she would throw a fit. And if I tried to talk to her and explain why things couldn't be done, I would get slapped. She would always say that we lived near my family but hers were so far away. But I have full custody of my 10 year old daughter, and not go to far away from her mother due to visitation rights. And she knew all about that from day 1 in 2004.

Please, no offense here..just an opinion but true to SOME.

This has been a common problem to some of relationship. Age gap, when the man is more mature and the wife is so immature and can't handle tough situations (most young women look for refuge and would sometimes think of the present bad situation and not care for the future or their responsibilities as married woman). Divorced husband with kid/s and hooked with responsibilities with ex wife, seems very tough for young women or to any woman to handle. Jealousy is always the common cause of argument for most husband and wife even if the woman will tell you "it's ok that u have a kid or it's ok that you will visit your daughter, or it's ok that you text or call your ex wife for the sake of your kid/s" BUT it is NOT TOTALLY OKAY! bad feelings could be acccumulated and will burst badly that could lead to extreme and very dangerous relationship crisis.

Allen, I hope you could solve this problem. If you love her, take a step like showing that love of yours.Try to win her heart again. I should say, give some time for this like sending her flowers, etc. BUT if this wont work, then you have to decide for divorce. It's a tough situation but maybe she is so young for you or maybe she is not for you. To protect yourself, you have to cancel any immigration papers. Do every step legally, like, court hearing if you both should pursue your marriage or decide to divorce.... I still hope things will work out and hope that she is not using you for her own welfare. Ask God's wisdom so that you can handle things alright.

Oh please!!!!! Don't bother to make it work or the please that woman if you don't wanna get fooled again.

[DGAB2008 3]

No one owns another human being just because they are brought across the ocean for love (or whatever the case may be). The issues you state are what all married couples go through the first year of marriage. Marriage is quite an adjustment! Complicate that with differences in culture, sometimes religion and language, and of course leaving all a person has known their entire life to make a home in a new country, and you're bound to have some disagreements.

I say, give her a minute to miss you. Stop calling her and using this immigration issue over her head. If you hadn't brought her to this country how would you respond in this situation? No one likes to feel like they are owned just because you've offered them a new life. Give her a moment to miss you, and when she calls you, dedicate yourselves to counseling so you can both learn how to address what you're feeling in a more productive way.

If you find that she doesn't return and she's dedicated to ending the relationship, then sure, you would be violating the law by continuing a fascade, and I would advise you to inform immigration of your actual status. But, the fact that you have just been married one year, and she hasn't been away that long for you to be talking about contacting immigration, suggests that maybe you have some control issues, and maybe her actions right now are because she truly doesn't like feeling owned.

Think about whether you are loving her in a way any human being wants to be loved. Giving her a new life in America is a wonderful gift, but it's a gift to both of you so that you both can have a life of love together. Give her a chance to let what her sister is probably drilling in her ear die off, and respect whatever decision she makes. If she decides not to remain married, then by all means, you should report your current status to immigration. But don't be vindictive if it doesn't work out. If she did use you to get into the country, trust me, God is much better at Justice than we are. Be prepared to let that go from your heart if that proves to be the case, and pray that God blesses you with true love, happiness and a life full of joy.

At this point, however, it just sounds like a woman who doesn't feel understood or respected who is testing her husband's true love for her, or trying to get your to understand how frustrated she is with the way things are going between you.

Good Luck!

Her fingerprint notice came in, and she emailed the lawyer and rescheduled it.

[Kar98 0]

Either this is some trolling going on here, or you're straight ignorant.

Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity.

[sj5 4]

She has siblings to rely on that's why she feels like to leaved without telling you. However, I don't know both of you so I don't really care about your marriage.

The first part I absolutely agree with. The second part sounds very cold.

It appears that her interests are more invested in staying in the States than in working things out at home. She has a place to go, so she has nothing to lose there, yet she knows you hold the key to her status. I'm sorry you're having to go through this.

I read his replies. Obviously, this person has imaginary spouse. His wife knew about AOS before her departure in Philippines through CFO seminar unless, she is dense or didn't pay attention or busy chit chatting with other Filipinos during their seminar. I had seminar in CFO before my departure so I know about this. Or its just me knew about AOS(but not everything.) B)

CFO The Commission on Filipinos Overseas (CFO) announces that effective 1 June 2007, attendance to the CFO Pre-Departure Orientation Seminar (PDOS) and Peer Counseling in Manila will be done by appointment. Clients may reserve a schedule through telephone numbers (63-2) 563-1965 and (63-2) 561-8321 local 103, or through website www.cfo.gov.ph.

In accordance with Republic Act 8239 and Department of Foreign Affairs Order No. 28-94 and No. 11-97, a Filipino traveling abroad as fiancé(e) or spouse of a foreign national is required to attend the CFO’s guidance and counseling programs as a pre-requisite to the issuance of a passport.

The program aims to orient the clients on the realities of cross-cultural marriages and help them make informed decisions regarding their marriage. It covers migration laws, welfare and support services available in their country of destination, rights of Filipinos overseas, and problem management.

[YuAndDan 153]

I have a question. I petitioned for my fiance from the Philippines on a fiance visa. We arrived here in Texas on April 15, 2008, and were married April 18, 2008. By the 1st year anniversary, she decided to leave me because we would have arguements. She has left and is with her oldest sister in Arizona. Right now her case is in Adjustment of Status. It was in deportation court because we traveled to California to see other family members in the summer. We were detained at the Border Patrol in El Paso due to not having filed a Conditional Resident Application, which Catholic Services didn’t advise us we had to do. We just recently (January) got out of the deportation proceedings. And the judge transferred the case back to Adjustment of Status court. My question is: WHAT HAPPENS IF I WITHDRAW MY SPONSORSHIP? WHAT HAPPENS IF I WITHDRAW THE AFFIDAVIT OF SUPPORT? CAN HER FAMILY MEMBERS PETITION FOR HER OR DOES SHE HAVE TO LEAVE THE U.S. FIRST AND THEN BE SUBJECT TO THE THE 10 YEAR BAN? I don’t know what she is doing, and she hardly answers the phone when I call her. Can you please help me. Please email me at txheartbreaker2000@hotmail.com also if you can. Thanks.

If you withdraw support befor AOS approval, she will not be able to adjust status and will be required to return home, in the case of K-1 the US Citizen Spouse MUST provide sponsorship, other family can only be joint sponsors, the CANNOT be primary sponsors.

[Robina 0]

Love this quote. Seems true in this case. I agree there is something strange going on here. I don't believe anyone can get a K-1 visa without knowing about the 90 days. The bruise issue raises red flags for me. We can't be sure about them. Best to drop the application and let what happens happen. Deffinitely stay away. Why didn't one of her many relatives sponsor her to come to the US?

Either this is some trolling going on here, or you're straight ignorant.

Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity.

[trillium13 84]

Dude,

Your main problem is that you want everyone else to tell you what to do. I learned about the K-1 process by hard work and research. Which is what you should have done. You still don't understand the process completely.

You make a good point here, this applies to everyone. It's up to everyone to educate themselves on the whole process so they don't end up in a mess. This can be difficult, and does take time and effort. It's something a lot of people don't want to do-it's easier to say "so and so told me to do it this way." It's good to do your own research, from multiple sources. This way you a: know when something isn't being done right, and b: you only have yourself to blame if things go wrong.

[allenr 0]

Hello, I'm sorry that I have NEVER been into a message board before and I didn't know that it wasn't like a chat. Please forgive me.