Do you ever get asked "The Question?"

[DanielParul 50]

I usually don't get too much reaction, except for when I tell people I'm moving to South Carolina. Their eyes usually open up a lot wider!! Then they say.." wow...that's far away!"...

The real funny thing is, I wasn't "looking" when Tim came into my life, and he wasn't "looking" either. Our relationship just happened. But it's true blue, and I wouldn't want it any other way! I wouldn't care if he lived in another country!! He's the one for me....

[Twisted K 2]

Why couldn't you have found someone who lives around here?

It happens to me every time I mention Leidys to friends, family, co-workers, etc.

What about you and your SO?

It is funny that you posted this tonight, because, again, someone made a comment similar to this one today. "You went half way across the world to find you a man?" Honestly, I went half way across the world as a trainer for my job. He just happened to be in one of my classes. We were friends at first, and the rest is history We both believe our paths were destined to cross, but that is another story so glad they did

[Ladylethal 12]

The question for me back home used to be more like "oh wow, How did you two meet?!?!??!" "ONLINE?!?!?!? OMG REALLY?!?! You're nuts!" or "Wow how awesome!".

Then my mom did ask me a few times "are you sure you wanna move out of the country for him? Are you sure you wanna marry him?" but she really likes Luis so she did say "go for it!" after she got past the first reaction.

[R and F 34]

I have gotten asked the questions many times and my reply always is, "But I already was with many men here in the US, so I decided to look elsewhere for another one". And they look aghast at my response.

Edited March 1, 2009 by Rosie and Farid

[Sprailenes 47]

I get it sometimes, one time my lovely mother in law said it in regards to my husband...

"We all just wondered why he couldn't just find someone who lived a little closer..."

Yea he could have but they wouldn't have been quite as awesome as meee!

[I AM NOT THAT GUY 5,715]

No, for most people the question is "Are you sure he isn't using you for a green card?"

me too. and i'm always offended. am i so grossly unattractive inside and out that a man couldn't possibly like me for me?

Nope. I'd hit on ya if the wife wasn't looking!

Post 1,000!

Edited March 1, 2009 by Mister_Bill

[rebeccajo 14]

Ken,

I'd say most people on VJ get that question. Or some form of it.

You ramp up your odds for it with each new fiancee.

[Dr. A ♥ O 203]

When I left Texas 10 years ago I moved to Idaho and my boyfriend moved to Virginia. We went back and forth in a triangle to see each other. I remember distinctly on one flight from the west coast to the east coast in 99' on New Year's Eve there was all this talk about the Y2K thing. I was nervous to fly to D.C. then. On the flight I sat in a row of east Indian family members and I got to sit next to the father. While his two young daughters crawled all over me and attempted to play with me (a complete stranger) he asked me what I was doing and where I was going. When I told him my story he proceeded to scold me and show me the cocktail napkin that had the map of the US on it and the distance of the flight and he'd point at it saying it is better to find someone close to home so you don't have to travel so far. He was very serious about it and very stern like he was talking to one of his young daughters. I don't know if he was making an example of me or just being a weirdo. It got even more weird when his great grandpa sitting next to him looked from his view of the window to my face and proceeded to give me a mean stern look like he disapproved of me too. The whole situation was surreal. I was thinking who are they to judge. Now I don't like to talk to people that sit next to me on planes. I just try to read a book and say as few words as possible. There is something to be said for meeting people on your own turf and then there is something to be said for meeting people of like minds and that can be anywhere. Love comes in all different shapes and sizes and ways and not everyone's love has to be traditional or the same way as the other. It's all about the individuals involved.

[Nikita2Charles 33]

Do you beleive in Faith?

Lot of cases that's what happen, God send you the person that's right for you and at time lot of things had to happen. Moving to the Sillicon Valley when the Dot.com was booming, changing companies, and having to take several overtrips overseas to India among other places, When I am in NYC most people think my wife is Guyanese, Trini, or Maybe Jamaican. So at our wedding reception in Queens we even planned a little trick on the guess, since my wife doesn't have a typical Indian name, hers sound more like French, therefore a few of the late comers to the reception since it was at a restaurant was asking me where's your wife?

It's mostly from the Indian crowd i guess that fascination thing, the #1 question i get is mostly HOW DID YOU GUYS MEET?

Actually I do get that question but it was mainly from my wife, there are so many nice girls here, so many nice sistas, couldn't you find someone out here in the states, why you had to marry someone all the way from India, the answer is just simple FAITH. She was the one GOD had in store for me.

Edited March 1, 2009 by Nikita2Charles

[Dr. A ♥ O 203]

^^^

Waleed says the same thing. That is was Allah that made his eyes rest on my name that day in the Movie Chat Room and have him select my name to msg me. Blah blah fate blah blah destiny. His heart was locked before me and only I was able to get in and he didn't know how. There are many sweet things he says to me along this line but I have never been one to by all that cheese. Though I do love a good chic flick with a happy ending and not one of these that makes you cry!

[kitteh 1]

Most of the time the reactions I get are positive. People think it's really romantic that I went all the way to the Southern Hemisphere to find the man of my dreams. I think it's pretty romantic too.

I did get one guy who grilled me on all the details and kept asking me how long Gustavo and I have known each other (only 7 months!) and kept insinuating that I'm being used for a green card. He even flat out told me not to go through with the wedding. Honestly though, I expected that reaction out of more people. But the thing is, as soon as I met Gustavo I knew he'd be the father of my (eventual) children. I've never been more sure of anything, and I am so not the type of person to make rash decisions. Plus I was the one who brought up marriage, so I think that kind of ruins the theory that he's using me for a green card. Unless he's really slick and somehow telepathically influenced me to suggest it, in which case that'd probably impress me enough to marry him anyhow!

[NickD 203]

Believe I answered Do you ever get asked the question, "Why couldn't you have found someone who lives around here?", incorrectly.

My friends and family love my wife, so the answer is no, they don't ask me that question. If they did, sure it would have a negative affect on our relationship, and that same question could be asked even if you did marry somebody close, but in a different light. The most important thing is that they respect your choice, and wish you happiness.

Believe the statement is mutual respect.

Also in the process of me marrying a foreign, we made lots of new friends, as we have a lot in common, dealing with both immigration, and problems in the home country of our spouses. We get together about once a month and go to a restaurant, with a lot of teasing going on, mostly with language barriers we encounter. It's been a wonderful experience for us.

[amberdima 6]

No, for most people the question is "Are you sure he isn't using you for a green card?"

me too. and i'm always offended. am i so grossly unattractive inside and out that a man couldn't possibly like me for me?

Nope. I'd hit on ya if the wife wasn't looking!

Post 1,000!

awww...call me when our spouses get their green cards and leave

[Melrose Plant 1]

If anyone asks, I just tell them the truth. I signed up for an online dating service. I didn't realize it was international in nature. I told the computer I didn't want to go more than 75 miles away. I guess it ignored me. Not only did it ignore me, it found me TWO wives. Once I've gotten to this point in my story, no one so far has made it past being too fascinated to ask anything but earnest questions from then on.

[Mikkel 0]

No, for most people the question is "Are you sure he isn't using you for a green card?"

me too. and i'm always offended. am i so grossly unattractive inside and out that a man couldn't possibly like me for me?

Next time, ask them if they're sure their wife or husband isn't just in it for the tax benefits. Hopefully that'll shut them up. I can't think of anything more rude than suggesting that ones relationship is a scam with absolutely no justification.

Edited March 1, 2009 by Mikkel