How long....to all the ladies w/beneficiary hubby

[JelloShotGirl 0]

I am posting in MENA cuz I like how you guys share ur opions no matter what, you guys are real not fake. Ok I would like your honest opinion : How long do you think you should give your non-usc spouse till he finds a job after he gets his work auth?

It doesnt matter just any job just to help out and pull his weight, even if its at Wendys or just SOMETHING???

Take into consideration the economy , time for adjusting to US, and "culture shock"

how long? A few months, 6 months , a year or two years?????????????????

What if your man shows no initiative? What do you do without sounding like a nag? I know every situation is different, but I have been seeing a lot of things lateley even in my own life and I just want to know your thoughts, thanks so much!

Jelloshotgirl

[Rose-Romagnoli 0]

It is not a question of economy for us. There is concrete need for both of us to work, no matter what.

My husband has been my "beneficiary" for over a year and he HATES it. I gave him an ATM card with access to some money for needs, but he refused to use it and put it in my wallet while he was here over the holidays.

Our purpose for not applying for AOS now is for him to finish his last year of college. We applied for CR-1 instead, because our best interest as a family is for him to attain his degree in-country.

He has already established a temporary job upon approval and arrival, but his professional career will depend upon my duty station. Because of the fact that we WILL move, I do not pressure him to establish a permanent job. However, it is not a maybe. The answer is immediate, and continuous. Period.

[Donna A 4]

mine tried immediatly to get a job but didnt even get any interviews so he gave up. he just figured no one is going to hire a doctor as they know he will quit as soon as possible. he was 2 years without a job.

[sereia 0]

I went through very similar situation. I think after a month or so after getting his EAD and he's not working ANYWHERE...fast food, janitor, SOMETHING? He should be coming up with some very good reasons as to why he's so lazy. But definitely no more than two months..and that's being really generous imo! I don't know how to get someone off their azz and get a job. Why should it even have to get to that point? He should want to work and contribute to the family. Period.

Edited January 29, 2009 by Sheherazade

[Ban Hammer 12,878]

i'd say it depends on what type of job. if at the lower end of job skills, a week or two at most. if at the higher end of job skills, maybe 6 months to a year?

i.e. one should be able to find a job making minimum wage or a few bucks above it per hour fairly easy, but getting a job as a banker might take longer.

[Cheryl & Medo 3]

I say if he has his work card get out and get a job. No matter if it is Burger King. Any money is better then no money. My husband started making money just as soon as he got his work permit.

[Zee Bee 61]

Finding a job is a little harder nowadays, especially for someone with no US work history. But the most important thing is seeing the initiative in finding the job.

[Aymsgirl 0]

Over 300 applications, no experience except for being an attorney in Egypt and only jobs for temporary seasonal positions were offered. He couldn't apply for positions until August and those were the only two that he got call backs on. He arrived in April started working sometime around late September and was laid off the Sunday before Christmas. It's different case for everybody. I hope he finds one soon...good luck and as always best wishes!

[S and S 12]

My husband should be getting his EAD card in the next couple weeks but he is technically authorized to work now based on the stamp on his I-94 card. He got his SSN number about a month ago but I put him in a class first so he could have some kind of US certification. He graduated yesterday from his class and plans to go out tommorow to apply for jobs. I'm not sure what kind of timeline all of this would fall in but I think he is on the right track. The hardest part for my husband is he is a medical school graduate but can't work as a doctor. For now he is willing to take whatever job he can so I thank God for that.

I'm sure each man is different on what works for him. They need at least a few weeks to a month after arrival to adjust and get the hang of things. After that it is a matter of them just trying to find work once they have authorization. The economy definitely makes things hard so what I did is search for what jobs are the most in demand. Though it is well beneath my husband's level, I saw the job with the most openings is nurse's assistant. It isn't glamorous and isn't the greatest pay, but it is a job and a step in the right direction. Try to look for what is available in your area and requires little or no training for your husband. That is my suggestion. Good luck!

[Imua 0]

Hey JSG,

Another 'alien' to MENA, eh??? Now you see why I like to come to this forum.

Has your hubby made contacts with the local Pinoy community? They might know of places that are hiring, even if it's casual restaurant grunt work for tips like someone else said, it's money and every little bit helps. If he shows up on time and does a good job hopefully he can use his boss as a reference when he applies for a better job - even volunteer work would qualify in this respect. I think a lack of references might hinder a lot of our guys' job searches so any ones he can get are valuable. I have noticed that at certain workplaces or types of jobs in NYC there are concentrations of certain ethnic groups - for example I see the delivery guys for the supermarkets, drug stores and Gracious Home on the UES all seem to be West African. I don't know if there is an agency that places them or if they find the jobs through word of mouth. I know there is a Nepali employment agency in Jackson Heights and maybe there is a Filipino one too in JH or Elmhurst - if there is a local pinoy newspaper that is a good place to look for agencies.

Even in this economy I would not accept any excuses if the guy has his EAD or GC and is not at least looking for work, even volunteering like I said is valuable and gets him in the habit of getting up and being somewhere on time. In this economy especially I don't think anyone can say a job is beneath them, especially if they have no references and no US work experience. I have told G he might have to clean toilets at the airport as his first job(my stepbrother actually did this when he was in college and he is a USC) but his job prospects will get better as he gets experience. I would be very pi$$ed at him if he does not at least make an effort once he has his GC.

[teenutty 0]

Well, I think the time a spouse should start looking is at the 5 or 6 month mark. Not saying he should get a job at that moment, just start looking.

I made up my husbands resume and did the introduction letters (because resumes/intro letters are not customary in Iran) and emailed a lot. My husband looked on the internet and even went to the state employment agency. It helped a lot!!!! Just to see he was making an effort.

He came June 15, got a job by October.

I am posting in MENA cuz I like how you guys share ur opions no matter what, you guys are real not fake. Ok I would like your honest opinion : How long do you think you should give your non-usc spouse till he finds a job after he gets his work auth?

It doesnt matter just any job just to help out and pull his weight, even if its at Wendys or just SOMETHING???

Take into consideration the economy , time for adjusting to US, and "culture shock"

how long? A few months, 6 months , a year or two years?????????????????

What if your man shows no initiative? What do you do without sounding like a nag? I know every situation is different, but I have been seeing a lot of things lateley even in my own life and I just want to know your thoughts, thanks so much!

Jelloshotgirl

[Jenn! 918]

This may be an unpopular opinion, but for me, unless the couple needs the extra income just to make ends meet, then forcing one's spouse to clean toilets just to show initiative is rather degrading.

If the question is one of survival, then yes, any job should be taken immediately.

[Nothing1234 2]

This may be an unpopular opinion, but for me, unless the couple needs the extra income just to make ends meet, then forcing one's spouse to clean toilets just to show initiative is rather degrading.

If the question is one of survival, then yes, any job should be taken immediately.

I agree with you Jenn. If your struggling to make ends meet, of course any job is necessary....however, if you can take the time and find a better job, benefits and better pay I think the investment of taking time, pays off in the end.

[JeanneVictoria 55]

Wael couldn't wait to begin working. He arrived Dec 23, 2007 and had his first day of work

Jan 14, 2008. As soon as he arrived (actually we flew back to the states together) he began

sending out his resume. He applied for his jobs online and I was surprised at the number of

responses he did have.

I think by going the CR1 it saved valuable time. He was authorized to work right away and had his SSN 6 days after arriving.

So the sooner the better!

[UmmSqueakster 54]

What goals does he have career wise? Working at Wendys might bring in a little dough, but will it further his job prospects and help him accomplish what he wants to do?

If he has a professional job in mind, and he can't get it right off the bat without work experience, look for an internship in that field. It's a great way to make connections, build up work history on the resume, and get the all important reference. Volunteering in that field also looks good on the resume and can help for future aspirations.

I waited a long, long, long, long (did I mention long) time for my husband to get a good, long term job. More than 2 and a half years to be exact. In the interim, he worked at a few dead end jobs (UPS, check cashing place, now that was a soul suck). But, he didn't sit on his behind and do nothing when he wasn't working in those 2 and a half years. He studied several days a week for his certified internal auditor exam. He practiced writing until he could knock out a letter in nearly fluent english. He did mock interviews, to get comfortable conversing with people other then me in english. He joined a job training program. He applied for 2 dozen jobs a week. He volunteered and did an internship.

And it was that internship and his 3 years of volunteering that got him his first job as an accountant here in the US. If he had been working dead end jobs more then he did, he wouldn't have had time to develop what was really needed for that professional job.

Now, looking back, hind sight is 20/20. But until he got his accounting job, ohhhh boy was it hard for me. There were many times I almost went crazy, and it was very stressful for both of us. If you have patience and your husband is working diligently towards a goal, even if it's not at Wendys, try to give him some time.

Edited January 29, 2009 by UmmSqueakster