I MISS MY LIFE

[nickoftime 0]

Guys, I have a question... What if your husband doesn't want you to work?

he just wants you to stay at the house and be a dedicated housewife?

what are you goin to feel?, do?....

I will start to consider him a control freak and an abusive husband!

Seriously, your husband has no right whatsoever to ask you not to work and to just stay at home and be a dedicated wife. It's more of an economic abuse which may constitute an act of violence against a woman. To work. explore all your possibilities and maximize your potentialities are your basic rights that your husband should respect and which you must protect.

#######?

Economic Abuse?

Constitute act of vioence?

Did you google that answer from someplace? It seems out of line and not related to this thread......

That's based on RA 9262, a Philippine law known as anti-Violence against women and their children act. I don't have to goggle it. I know the law very well and had prosecuted quite a few men who did such form of violence against women.

[rajemr2119 0]

lee joy,

kamusta ka na??!

huwag kang mag alala, madmi tayo!!

I do miss my families, my friends and myself too, being me, my life in makati, everything I missed it now so badly!!

gusto ko na ngang umuwi eh,..

d nga ako makatlog nlng lgi eh.. huh!!

pero ala kc pa ako magawa for now eh kundi ang magtiis at umiyak nlng nang patago!!

mag alas 5 na ng umaga dto at gicing pdn ako.. haaaaaaaaaaaaayyy, ang swuangit na ng hitsura ko, swaungit na nga,

mas lalo pang swuangit dhil ala matino tlog!! asawa ko, ayon lakas ng hilik!! huh!!!

anyways, sana khit papanu ok u na?!

happy holidays nlng sayo day bisan lajo kayo ta sa atong mga pamilya at mga kaibigan!!

pray lang ta ani permi, mao ra man jud ato kadangpanan!! ako, 3 na lugar lng na pupuntahan ko dto sa boise,

bahay ng monther in law ko, simbahan and stores paminsan - minsan, pasama sama lng ng mother in law ko, ala pera

pambili eh.. ala me kaibigan dto na personal kong masumpongan ng

mga probs ko!! taga sonod ng kalat ng asawa ko! haaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyy!!!

[tallcoolone 102]

Guys, I have a question... What if your husband doesn't want you to work?

he just wants you to stay at the house and be a dedicated housewife?

what are you goin to feel?, do?....

I will start to consider him a control freak and an abusive husband!

Seriously, your husband has no right whatsoever to ask you not to work and to just stay at home and be a dedicated wife. It's more of an economic abuse which may constitute an act of violence against a woman. To work. explore all your possibilities and maximize your potentialities are your basic rights that your husband should respect and which you must protect.

#######?

Economic Abuse?

Constitute act of vioence?

Did you google that answer from someplace? It seems out of line and not related to this thread......

That's based on RA 9262, a Philippine law known as anti-Violence against women and their children act. I don't have to goggle it. I know the law very well and had prosecuted quite a few men who did such form of violence against women.

Your post makes no sense again.

How is your Husband asking you not to work consitute violence against woman or children. Go google some more, but this time try to come up with an answer that matches my question.

[nickoftime 0]

Guys, I have a question... What if your husband doesn't want you to work?

he just wants you to stay at the house and be a dedicated housewife?

what are you goin to feel?, do?....

I will start to consider him a control freak and an abusive husband!

Seriously, your husband has no right whatsoever to ask you not to work and to just stay at home and be a dedicated wife. It's more of an economic abuse which may constitute an act of violence against a woman. To work. explore all your possibilities and maximize your potentialities are your basic rights that your husband should respect and which you must protect.

#######?

Economic Abuse?

Constitute act of vioence?

Did you google that answer from someplace? It seems out of line and not related to this thread......

That's based on RA 9262, a Philippine law known as anti-Violence against women and their children act. I don't have to goggle it. I know the law very well and had prosecuted quite a few men who did such form of violence against women.

Your post makes no sense again.

How is your Husband asking you not to work consitute violence against woman or children. Go google some more, but this time try to come up with an answer that matches my question.

She didn't say that the husband simply asked the wife not to work. The hypothetical question was "what if your husband doesn't want you to work?" which I interpreted as more of a demand and which to my OPINION is detrimental to the right of the woman to work if she wanted to. Of course there are women who are okay to being dependent to their husbands. But there are also women who prefer to be financially independent and explore their potentialities to find some source of achievement in her own. If the woman would want that and the husband does things to stop her from pursuing what she likes to achieve, that constitutes an act of violence per OUR LAW. As to whether such is true in YOUR LAW, I can only hope that it is not geared towards curtailing women empowerment.

The point is, regardless of the race or where the wife came from, the decision to work should be more of the wife's than the husband's and I say that under the assumption that the wife is sensible and intelligent enough to know what will be the best for the family. As we say it in the Philippines, the wife must always be the guiding light.

Hmmmm...the English translation sounds beautiful and sweet...THE WIFE IS THE GUIDING LIGHT!

[Rocky_nBullwinkle 6]

Too many nested quotes! I will try again later!

Edited December 22, 2008 by sonomacountygal

[Rocky_nBullwinkle 6]

Too many nested quotes! I will try again later!

"The point is, regardless of the race or where the wife came from, the decision to work should be more of the wife's than the husband's and I say that under the assumption that the wife is sensible and intelligent enough to know what will be the best for the family. As we say it in the Philippines, the wife must always be the guiding light."

I may not be a lawyer, but I did get my law degree from the University of Manila, and my husband is familiar with the laws here. Physical abuse and mental intimidation are crimes here as well, one being evident, the other more ambiguous. However, in a family court here in Sonoma County, a judge will tell both parties to knock it off, go out in the hall, and not come back until you both come to a decision. (Mandatory Arbitration) If they do not, the judge will find a solution guaranteed to displease both parties. Save a dollar. Work it out. Both sides need to swallow their pride, instead of swelling their egos!

[noel_jas 0]

lee joy,

kamusta ka na??!

huwag kang mag alala, madmi tayo!!

I do miss my families, my friends and myself too, being me, my life in makati, everything I missed it now so badly!!

gusto ko na ngang umuwi eh,..

d nga ako makatlog nlng lgi eh.. huh!!

pero ala kc pa ako magawa for now eh kundi ang magtiis at umiyak nlng nang patago!!

mag alas 5 na ng umaga dto at gicing pdn ako.. haaaaaaaaaaaaayyy, ang swuangit na ng hitsura ko, swaungit na nga,

mas lalo pang swuangit dhil ala matino tlog!! asawa ko, ayon lakas ng hilik!! huh!!!

anyways, sana khit papanu ok u na?!

happy holidays nlng sayo day bisan lajo kayo ta sa atong mga pamilya at mga kaibigan!!

pray lang ta ani permi, mao ra man jud ato kadangpanan!! ako, 3 na lugar lng na pupuntahan ko dto sa boise,

bahay ng monther in law ko, simbahan and stores paminsan - minsan, pasama sama lng ng mother in law ko, ala pera

pambili eh.. ala me kaibigan dto na personal kong masumpongan ng

mga probs ko!! taga sonod ng kalat ng asawa ko! haaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyy!!!

gurl d ka pa ba sanay sa hilik ng asawa mo? you should try to get use to it. my husband snores also but i'm used to it now and it was never an issue to me. yung mga maliit na bagay na ganyan hindi na dapat pinapansin kase wala naman syang magagawa sa paghilik nya. halos lahat naman ng tao humihilik. maglagay ka na lang ng earplugs para d ka maingayan. try mong mag-attend ng church dyan baka may makilala ka na mga friends. Godbless!

[pepper 34]

i just dont understand some filipinas who use vj for whining about their "oh so miserable life" and their abusive husbands..we all went here to the US with our eyes open..we are not forced or cuffed into coming here..yes my husband snores too..why whine about it..

about being abused or mentally intimated well nobody wanted it right..if you cant stand the heat get out of the kitchen..

it might be good to look at all our old posts here in vj when we all declared our undying devotion to our fiances and husbands and look at what we are doing now..

[RonMay 1]

i just dont understand some filipinas who use vj for whining about their "oh so miserable life" and their abusive husbands..we all went here to the US with our eyes open..we are not forced or cuffed into coming here..yes my husband snores too..why whine about it..

about being abused or mentally intimated well nobody wanted it right..if you cant stand the heat get out of the kitchen..

it might be good to look at all our old posts here in vj when we all declared our undying devotion to our fiances and husbands and look at what we are doing now..

thats true... but i know on the other hand, VJ is where some people (i for one), can feel the sense of belongingness. we're in a place where we dont know anybody "yet" so vj is the place per se to go when there's a problem, an issue, or to share the great news... snoring is not a big deal but we never know there's more to it than just snoring lol... nag a-add up lng talaga... if we cant stand the heat, maybe just turn the fire down. we dont have to get out of it, if its just something fixable... we all know we all love our partner. just a matter of understanding ones personality and character and meet half way... being not in yourself perhaps is not good, but maybe some of your old self is not a good one also? im no expert in marriage, this is just my mere opinion and i know what you guys are going thru, by experience and by example... yet just remember we're still in this transition and we're all gona grow from it... trust me

merry xmas and God bless to all

[Ban Hammer 12,837]

i just dont understand some filipinas who use vj for whining about their "oh so miserable life" and their abusive husbands..we all went here to the US with our eyes open..we are not forced or cuffed into coming here..yes my husband snores too..why whine about it..

about being abused or mentally intimated well nobody wanted it right..if you cant stand the heat get out of the kitchen..

it might be good to look at all our old posts here in vj when we all declared our undying devotion to our fiances and husbands and look at what we are doing now..

and maybe a few of them about how great a wife women from pi are

[dbears 1]

i just dont understand some filipinas who use vj for whining about their "oh so miserable life" and their abusive husbands..we all went here to the US with our eyes open..we are not forced or cuffed into coming here..yes my husband snores too..why whine about it..

about being abused or mentally intimated well nobody wanted it right..if you cant stand the heat get out of the kitchen..

it might be good to look at all our old posts here in vj when we all declared our undying devotion to our fiances and husbands and look at what we are doing now..

Good point russelandmarie.

i miss my family and friends in the Philippines too which is normal but I know that the moment I decided to come here, this will become my home and my husband and his family will be my family too... I know beforehand that I will suffer homesickness and will face moments when desire to go back to Philippines will be very strong, so before our wedding, I specifically asked the preacher to have Ruth 1:16-17 as our verse during the ceremony. Ruth 1:16-17 (“Don’t ask me to leave you and turn back. Wherever you go, I will go; wherever you live, I will live. Your people will be my people, and your God will be my God. 17 Wherever you die, I will die, and there I will be buried. May the Lord punish me severely if I allow anything but death to separate us!” ). I personally take the specified verse in the book of Ruth to be my own, where my husband will be, I will be and his people (family) will be mine as well.

As Russelandmarie said and just like all of you, I was not forced in coming here, I came here on my own volition. I did not come here to be able to constantly ask money for shopping, I did not come here with the single purpose of working and earning to have my own money and be independent (of course i will be working when i get EAD to help out in the household expense and not so i could live on my own), and much more, I did not come here to get a green card. I came here for the primary purpose of marrying my husband and blend our family to create a one unified family. If I simply wanted to work, earn a living and be independent then I should just stayed in the Philippines or come here on a working visa, work and work and earn and work, and earn, and go shopping and work again and stay single for the rest of my life. In coming here and marrying, I declare my need and dependence on my husband... and by petitioning me and marrying me, my husband also declared his needs and dependence on me. It goes both ways.

My husband is not perfect BUT truth of the matter is, I am not perfect too, NOBODY is perfect. Me and my husband are both adjusting with each others imperfections while still being sensitive to each others needs. We choose not to dwell in the small things we don't like about each other:differences (if we do, we probably would be fighting day in and day out), instead we try to focus on the positive in each other and voice our appreciation for each other in any way we can.

I miss my family and the Philippines and there are times that I do want to go home but everytime I imagine myself without my husband, i cringe because I know life would be truly miserable without him. My home is where my husband and my kids are.

[dbears 1]

"Ang pag-aasawa ay di parang kaning isusubo na pwedeng iluwa kapag ikaw ay napaso." (It means : Marriage shouldn't be taken lightly. Marriage isn't like eating rice, spitting it out the moment you realize that it is very hot.)

I can understand people sharing how homesick they are, most of us doing that just want to share it and somehow pass the time with people who are going through the same and finding comfort in some who says it is normal and will just pass, being homesick and missing the Philippines do not equate to wanting to leave our partners behind... heck, if i do go back to PI, i would drag my husband with me..... What I don't understand though, is when people vent and tell about their partner's negativity instead of talking it out with their partner and trying to find resolution for it. VJ maybe a good place to vent but wouldn't it be better if personal marital problems and issues be discussed privately with your partner instead of venting it out for other people to feast on? Let's say your partner starts sharing all your negative traits (everybody has some because nobody is perfect) on vj or other forum also, how would you feel about it?

Just my 2 cents worth. God bless and Maligayang Pasko.

Edited December 22, 2008 by dbears

[pepper 34]

i dont want my fellow filipinas to think that im inconsiderate of their feelings..my life here is not a bed of roses either but instead of complaining im trying to make my marriage work out..i dont surf the internet till 5 in the morning while my husband is busy snoring as a bear..instead i wake up at 4:30am and prepare his breakfast and lunch..and i dont think that im a maid..its a give and take thing...

cliche as it may sound or maybe too hollywoodish for some but marriage sometimes undergo the "seven year itch"...nothings easy in this life..

and if ever my husband threatens me about deportation..well as what i always tell him ..that doesnt scare me because i will be sent back to the philippines..my home country and not to iraq or afghanistan...

[KC♥MP 0]

"Ang pag-aasawa ay di parang kaning isusubo na pwedeng iluwa kapag ikaw ay napaso." (It means : Marriage shouldn't be taken lightly. Marriage isn't like eating rice, spitting it out the moment you realize that it is very hot.)

I can understand people sharing how homesick they are, most of us doing that just want to share it and somehow pass the time with people who are going through the same and finding comfort in some who says it is normal and will just pass, being homesick and missing the Philippines do not equate to wanting to leave our partners behind... heck, if i do go back to PI, i would drag my husband with me..... What I don't understand though, is when people vent and tell about their partner's negativity instead of talking it out with their partner and trying to find resolution for it. VJ maybe a good place to vent but wouldn't it be better if personal marital problems and issues be discussed privately with your partner instead of venting it out for other people to feast on? Let's say your partner starts sharing all your negative traits (everybody has some because nobody is perfect) on vj or other forum also, how would you feel about it?

Just my 2 cents worth. God bless and Maligayang Pasko.

Very well said!!! :thumbs: . Maligayang Pasko sa lahat!!!

[gladys 0]

"Ang pag-aasawa ay di parang kaning isusubo na pwedeng iluwa kapag ikaw ay napaso." (It means : Marriage shouldn't be taken lightly. Marriage isn't like eating rice, spitting it out the moment you realize that it is very hot.)

I can understand people sharing how homesick they are, most of us doing that just want to share it and somehow pass the time with people who are going through the same and finding comfort in some who says it is normal and will just pass, being homesick and missing the Philippines do not equate to wanting to leave our partners behind... heck, if i do go back to PI, i would drag my husband with me..... What I don't understand though, is when people vent and tell about their partner's negativity instead of talking it out with their partner and trying to find resolution for it. VJ maybe a good place to vent but wouldn't it be better if personal marital problems and issues be discussed privately with your partner instead of venting it out for other people to feast on? Let's say your partner starts sharing all your negative traits (everybody has some because nobody is perfect) on vj or other forum also, how would you feel about it?

Just my 2 cents worth. God bless and Maligayang Pasko.

Well said Dbears!!!!

As much as we want to be with our friends and family back home, life is not still complete without our husband.

Coming here in this country is a bitter-sweet situation. But we just have to deal with it and find ways to enjoy. This is a new place for us, instead of whining of the things we don't like and we don't have here, why not appreciate the new things around us and start to adventure!!

Its always nice to see new things, places , learn a new culture , meet new potential friends (and being cautious at the same time), try to cook new dishes ( watch food network, and internet is always available for ingredients and procedure) etc. etc. If we have a positive mind, the ideas to try out new things is endless.