I MISS MY LIFE

[B&Gie 0]

Whoever married "Nick of Time" is in for a rude awakening!

I agree!

only if he thought he was marrying a dumb, uneducated, submissive, dependent, asian wife. Not that there's anything wrong with that.

[Mykuls Merry Ann 4]

I hope this is true, but neither you nor I can say with any certainty. There are many shades of gray here, and even in the more clear cut cases of abuse often no one, especially the one being abused wants to admit it. They don't want to admit that they are being abused and they don't want to admit that they entered a relationship they knew, or even suspected wouldn't work.

If you read clearly the post of women from this thread the evidence is clear. Their husbands have expressed that they dont want them to work. These women are not victims. Nor are they being abused. But it is victimhood that they seek, isnt it???. But look at the stick that "Nick of Time handed them? Most of these women knew before they came to America that if they can achieve portraying themselves as victims then they can have the upper hand in their marriage and even in divorce. We know why some of the pilipina women look and want to marry an American man. They know American law better than the American men do that they are marrying. They are now teaching it to each other. They have been told the "bad" news about American victimhood law, and how easy it is for a women to show herself of as a victim and how they can use that as leverage and power.... and they plan on playing it to a tee on a man that only wishes to "give her a better life". Who is the snake here?

What about provoking Domestic Violence in the home after that AOS is signed by the petitioner? Do you not think this is dangerous? How can the law prevent these volatile situations that some of these women are willing to put themselves and their children in, all to tear down their homes and tear apart a family so they can pursue the American Dream? Ya think this pilipina woman should not be dealt with? Come on, they are being taught the rules before they come to America. Should not we start alerting American men on what is going on here?

Who protects the men and childen from these women who are making other women look bad? You agreed its more common? di ba? So isnt it time we also look at the pain these women are causing themselves and the men and children they victimize? All the while we see the few instances of men who bring women here and entrap and abuse them that we make sure that these women are protected as well? I actually see cases where there are men in America who should not be married bring young girls here who they know are not mature enough to be in a marriage. This has to be stopped.

Absolutely the flip side of the coin is a problem too, and one that should be dealt with as best we can. I'd even bet it's a more common problem. There are plenty of air-headed, gold-digger girls who just want to go to America, hang around doing nothing, and have some guy support them and buy them stuff. However, I tend to think slavery is a much more serious offense than visa fraud. I also think that a relatively wealthy guy who wants a hot wife has a lot more power, and with it moral responsibility, than does a dirt poor girl who is trying make sure her siblings have enough rice to eat and can see a doctor in an emergency.

Slavery?!!! Ya know it seems to me you dont see who is becoming the slave here in most cases. You just said that you realize that the greencard diggers are the most common. Do you not see her taking advantage of her husbands when she gets here? Allowing him to slave for her own selfishness? And the thing is, that we should all be sympathetic to the plight of women, and to the plight of poor people, we should never be using someone.ar slaving someone, to solve those issues. What makes these women any different than the bargirls who work for money and sell their bodies? I often wonder what is in the mind of any "girl" and I mean girl, that thinks she has the right to use her husbands time and labor for her to better her family in the Philippines?...as to what she thinks she brings to her husband so that he should have to do this for her? Why not work with her husband, rather than lie, cheat,and steal on him? why act like you love him? Meanwhile you have other ideas after you get here?

It seems to me that a lot of people here have been very hostile to some fairly reasonable and justifiable protections on the basis that their wives don't need those protections, and that some girls deserve it. It's like saying that there should be no laws against murder because it's insulting that the government would even imply that I might kill someone, and besides some people deserve to be killed.

Say it like it is, you think I am being hostile? Its fairly said. And I may be very threatening to those that think like "Nick of Time". But I care to protect people. Not just women. Lets be real here, too many women are using the American law to take advantage of men and children these days. This is why now American law is changing to not be so sympathetic to women. I have daughters, and I dont want to see that happen. Now we are losing protections, rather than building on them. They have destroyed the family structure. Its time for a foot to be inserted ya think? LOL!

All seriousness, it is the law that attracts these asian woman to the american man these days. While she deceivingly portrays herself as the as you say the "dumb, uneducated, submissive, dependent, asian wife". All the while she is the wolf in sheeps clothing? Right? Its the rude awakening that these men will get if they encounter this pilipina.

But not anyone on this thread said that there should not be protections for women. What you dont see is that there should not only be protections for women, but protections for men too, ya think? But I have said nothing but the truth of what has been going on for years in the Philippines. I am not your enemy here, its those girls like "Nick of Time", who take advantage of good men and are ruining the image of good Pilipina women. She is highly educated and its immediately clear that this "girl" has deep issues with men. Even hatred and envy of men. She dont wish to be a match to her mate, she is looking for defeat her mate.

Where is the thread where the good pilipina women hold her sister accountable? Why keep quiet on what is going on here? Why is it that just men have to speak on such an important issue?

I sense male hatred from some of these women, they hate men, but they choose to marry one to get what she wants? many American men can spot these women from afar. We know who "Nick of Time" is. Its not hostility. Most of us have seen the example hundreds of time in our american lives. So its not new what these women are doing here.

Why not earn it? You say you want equality? di ba?

Why not apply for the work visa? and not the K1 fiancee visa, if you want to be an independent women, and pursue your potential, and wish to feed your family in the PH?...Do it the right way, where you can walk your walk, and talk your talk with pride!!! I have great respect for the women who do it the right way. I think the others are lower earth forms. In my book, i put the old fart who wants control and power over some immature naive young girl, and the conniving deceptive pilipina who looks to use a man to get to America, they all go in the same trash pile.

Ya know not everyone can come to America. Some need to seek their potential in their own countries.

Why not take the road less traveled? It will make all the difference.

[Mykuls Merry Ann 4]

I dont know if i could stand to be a full time housewife (no offense meant to other people, just my preference). Since we will be getting married soon and the adjustment of status wont allow me to work... he is quite worried right now coz he knows me enough that i could not stand staying at home for a long time with-out work.

Anyway, my fiance and I already did a list of activities for me to do so i wont get bored.

My suggestion is that you talk to your husband... Compromise if needed.

Guys, I have a question... What if your husband doesn't want you to work?

he just wants you to stay at the house and be a dedicated housewife?

what are you goin to feel?, do?....

Why not do volunteer work? Do something positive in the community? Not everything pays in money ya know? We can be so productive doing things that dont pay money. Meanwhile we get the spiritual reward.

[rheanick 42]

I dont know if i could stand to be a full time housewife (no offense meant to other people, just my preference). Since we will be getting married soon and the adjustment of status wont allow me to work... he is quite worried right now coz he knows me enough that i could not stand staying at home for a long time with-out work.

Anyway, my fiance and I already did a list of activities for me to do so i wont get bored.

My suggestion is that you talk to your husband... Compromise if needed.

Guys, I have a question... What if your husband doesn't want you to work?

he just wants you to stay at the house and be a dedicated housewife?

what are you goin to feel?, do?....

Why not do volunteer work? Do something positive in the community? Not everything pays in money ya know? We can be so productive doing things that dont pay money. Meanwhile we get the spiritual reward.

Yup, volunteer work is also included in the list. And i assure you, it is a long list...

Edited January 13, 2009 by rheanick

[B&Gie 0]

i put the old fart who wants control and power over some immature naive young girl, and the conniving deceptive pilipina who looks to use a man to get to America, they all go in the same trash pile.

Well at least we can agree on that.

I personally know one charming sincere young lady who was seriously abused using the techniques I described, and needed help escaping back to the Philippines before she killed herself. No alimony, no taking his house, just escaping from him any way possible.

I also know several long running marriages, and plenty of divorced people. Generally the married ones are well adjusted likeable people. Generally lots of the divorced ones have some issues, or are even outright @$$holes. Often they and everyone they've ever married have issues. Yea I think the divorce courts have swung too far toward the "give her everything" end of the spectrum, and allow suckers to be taken by gold diggers. But I don't think that an imbalance in court judgments means we should go so far in the other direction that a guy can bring a foreign girl into the country and keep her in debt bondage.

And just because you want a stay at home wife dosn't mean NicOfTime's husband dosn't value her education. Heck I'm going to have to send my financee to school once she gets here. I WISH her family had already put her through law school. Heck I wish they had the money and forethought to get her any college education at all.

[nickoftime 0]

Oh, my! I didn't know that my opinion would generate such a strong reaction from some! Thanks, B&Gie for defending my silent husband, hahaha!

I've lost track of what has been posted here so for now, I will zipppp it! Goodnight, peeps!

[Mykuls Merry Ann 4]

Oh, my! I didn't know that my opinion would generate such a strong reaction from some! Thanks, B&Gie for defending my silent husband, hahaha!

I've lost track of what has been posted here so for now, I will zipppp it! Goodnight, peeps!

Have you offed him already?

[STEPHnRIA 2]

Oh, my! I didn't know that my opinion would generate such a strong reaction from some! Thanks, B&Gie for defending my silent husband, hahaha!

I've lost track of what has been posted here so for now, I will zipppp it! Goodnight, peeps!

Goodnight attorney! I bet you miss working already. They probably don't know that you are a lawyer and had helped many Filipinas that's why you are being quoted because you talk like a well...a lawyer. HAHAHA! That's why I know where you are coming from. Hey! Im here in Florida already. I got here January 12th. Yesterday was the most amazing moment cuz I couldnt believe that Im finally with my fiancee. Today, we were trying to open a joint account and they wouldnt let us cuz I dont have SSN yet. When I got home, I just bursted out crying, my fiancee was so worried. Yeah, Im so disoriented right now. But Im all ok now. I dont know why i cried, probably because Im used to being a donya and it suddenly hit me...no more Yaya Arlyn... no more Mang Lito (my driver). I remembered your post that's why I visited your profile and that's how I came across this thread. So now, Im all better now and Im ready to drop the spoiled brat attitude. My son is adjusting pretty quickly. He impressed two people today. One was the lady from the bank who told me that he was so well behaved and he speaks english fluently. The other was the salesman from the mattress store when he heard him reading the prices like $799, $899 etc. and was amazed when we told him that he is only three years old. How are you doing? There's work already waiting for me and I feel so fortunate. But for now, I will enjoy the months that I wont be working.

[leejoy_and_ron 0]

:crying:

oh my GOD just checking..didnt know na ang forum na ito ay hahaba ng ganito..nag umpisa sa homesick..tapos may ibat iba ng opinion..wow ha.salamat sa lahat na nag advice...GOD bless

[ghomnet 1]

Guys, I have a question... What if your husband doesn't want you to work?

he just wants you to stay at the house and be a dedicated housewife?

what are you goin to feel?, do?....

Its what you want, not what he wants.

Goodluck!

Guys, I have a question... What if your husband doesn't want you to work?

he just wants you to stay at the house and be a dedicated housewife?

what are you goin to feel?, do?....

I will start to consider him a control freak and an abusive husband!

Seriously, your husband has no right whatsoever to ask you not to work and to just stay at home and be a dedicated wife. It's more of an economic abuse which may constitute an act of violence against a woman. To work. explore all your possibilities and maximize your potentialities are your basic rights that your husband should respect and which you must protect.

I think you are setting the cart before the horse here. If the husband wanted to marry an uppity liberated woman, he would have found one here in the US of A. But he didn't, and he deserves the respect he is entitled to. He went through great expense and effort to bring you here, and the least you can do is try to make things work. You have a lifetime to "persuade" your husband to a more equitable relationship. But for now, try to meet his expectations for an Asian wife.

Is staying home an expectation from an asian wife?

I wasn't tallking about expectations from an Asian wife, but rather the husband's expectations for an Asian wife. And, those expectations/misconceptions will vary from husband to husband. Probably the best thing to do is to work things out, talk things through. However, there is an expectation, misguided though it may be, that the Asian wife is inherently submissive and will bend to the will of her husband.

She always has the weapon of "Tampo".

This is what I am talking about. http://filipinawives.com/Tampo.htm

that is soo funny

i wish i had read this b4 my girl friends has done this to me. Wow it does work it can make me feel bad, low on the ground. As to what you said in your response. You have to be care full, many men who date asian women are very conservative. I there mind they believe it is the job of the man to work hard and the woman to take care of the home and the children. It is funny cause it seem it in the PI more women are working. But this is one of the reason the don't date american women. Now in USA you can say it now, but when he visited you in the PI you knew what he wanted, a more conservative wife. for god sake it on every website you go to. So you can't be too shock. The best thing to do is find an activity to do during the day. Don't compete with him if you love him it may ruin your relationship unless you don't care about. Make the home your project and your job. While he is working think of ways to save your family money. If you have children get thing ready for them teach them things. The Buddha say "no room is empty, if your mind is full". Write a book, teach your self something useful to better your family. Keep in mind what you put in your family you will get out of it. You can be like a lot of the western who do say no showing their husband who is boss, but most of these women sooner or later become very unhappy and divorce. As for my self i told my girl she can do what she wants but i would rather her work with me in my business, well soon to be our business. She says she is comfortable with that.