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I've been a memeber in this forum for a while but I chose not to post under my nickname and created a different one, I really need to talk and share my story as it's

blowing my mind, my story begins back in 2005 when I met this woman online and had a wonderful online relationship with, we talked day and night

for 2 years before I was able to come here and meet her in 2007, I had a wonderful job back home, and I worked my way to the top in a very well know multinational

company, I've always been skeptic about marriage, I thought it's not made for me, but all in a sudden something about that woman made me reconsider my thoughts

and actually think about marrying somebody, I fell deeply in love, I had to go against my family and my friends for this relationship, they all thought someone like me shouldn't

marry a woman that is older than him, and to me I thought it wasn't an issue, and I fought for it and I didn't care who says what!

Anyways, after I came here in 2007 we spent about 2 months together, during which I felt like I was in heaven, so we decided that every six month I should come for a month

and at the same time we will talk in the internet just like we always did, few months later as I missed so much being with her we started talking about getting married and actually

live together, after a long thinking we decided that I will leave everything behind and come to the USA and start all over again with my career, and so I did.

I came here in May 2008 we got married, had a honeymoon, we stayed happy for 2 months and then in Aug. we decided to file my paperwork.

Then things started to change, ok I don't mind the fact that she was married before and had kids with her ex-husband , never been an issue to me as she was upfront about it

since the first day we met online, but one day I was going to pay some bills and I met someone who knew my wife and he confronted me and told how are you doing with that

woman of yours, I got lit, but I thought for a moment he might be a relative or someone that I don't know in her family, but then he told me that he was her ex-husband, the

problem is that his name was different than the one I know...

Anyways I went down to the immigration lawyer that helpt us file the papers, and had a copy of the papers that she gave him, and I found out that she was married 5 times

before me, and she never told me except for only one of them!!!!

I fought about it and I was ready to leave, and then for some reason I felt sorry for her and I stayed, we worked things out and I decided to forgive her (stupid I know).

the irony is I still loved her but I was hurt deeply.

Anyways, I've just recieved my work permit and SSN last month and I was able to find a job with my resume in the same company I worked with overseas, so I thought

maybe it's God answering my prayers after I got hurt and thought that things will start to get better.

But what happened is one day I happened to be working in a place close to where she works( I work in different places everyday), and I saw her driving her car out of her

jobs parking lot, I called her on the phone and asked her where she was going ? and somehow she thought I was playing, so she told me she is working and

she talked in a low tone as if she was dealing with a customer, so I followed her with my car and then when she saw me she got shocked!!! and then she told me that

she was going to go home to eat something and go back to work! I thought it was a lie and she felt that I didn't believe her, so 3 hours later she called and I got really upset

and she did too, and then she said that the truth is she was trying to surprise me, but again she knows I am working and I am not at home so was she going to surprise? just another

lie...

Anywyas, my interview is next month and I don't know what to do shall I just call immigration and cancel everything?(the lawer told me that I won't be able to come to the USA again

as I will be considered overstayed my visa? is that true?)

If I stay and get my GC (which is not even possible after being married 5 times before me) I'll feel bad as it will be just for the green card and I won't forgive myself for using someone like that.

I am so confused.

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Filed: Citizen (pnd) Country: Germany
Timeline

puh...ok..i think the problem is that the trust between u and ur wife is broken..sorry my english is not so well...so i try to explain u in the best way i can...first ..maybe she was embarresd that she was married 5 times..i could understand that because i would be too ....that she didnt told u was a mistake but u forgiven her so u should not bring that up to her again...so ..that she left from work..maybe she really wanna surprise u?why u think it was a lie?and now we come to the real problem..the trust is so broken that u have now doubts no matter what she says or does...

so u must ask urself first..is ur love strong enough to work it out and build the foundation again or are u done with ur feelings for her??

when u are done then u must decide if u wanna stay in us or not...if u wanna stay then go with her to the visa procedere and stay..if not...pack ur stuff and go home....

i wanna be honest..when i came her the first two month were really nice..but after we filed aos the only thing i was worried was the gc...because i had so many fear that anything comes bad and i lose my husband..i was so busy with thinking abt myself that my marriage was in trouble....and i asked myself the same questions what i asked u...am i willing to work this out and is our love strong engough...and my love was strong..so i changed my behavior and tried to establish the relationship more...we went trough this and now iam really happy..more happy as i was the first month because i know now my relationship is strong and good...

so find out if u really love this woman..and then talk talk talk...that was the rescue for my marriage..talk honest about ur fears about ur doubts and about ur feelings..and then u will see it will work...i wish u good luck


AOS Timeline

08/13/08 AOS sent
08/18/08 NOA1
08/22/08 Appointment Biomentrics
09/10/08 Biometrics done
09/11/08 RFE
09/18/08 Case transfered to NBC
10/16/08 EAD approved
10/24/08 EAD approved again
10/27/08 EAD in Mail
10/28/08 applied for SSN (not verified)still waiting:-(
12/18/08 got my SSN today YEAHHHHH
12/30/08 passed my TX DL today YIPPIEEEEEEE
03/03/09 Interview ,approved...thanks god:-)
03/09/09 Welcome letter in Mail.Juhuuuuuuuu
03/16/09 Green Card in Mail:-)))))

_______________________________________
ROC....and the Game starts again:-)

02/02/10 I-751 Waiver to VSC
02/08/10 NOA1
02/17/10 Check cashed
04/15/10 Biometrics
07/26/10 Interview
08/06/10 Approved ,thanks god juhuuuuuuuuuuuu
08/16/10 Greencard in Mail,done for ten years:-))

___________________________________________

N-400 here we go in the last round

12/09/2013 N-400 to Dallas

12/13/2013 NOA1

12/18/2013 check cashed

01/03/2014 Biometrics

02/04/2014 in line for Interview

04/11/2014 Interview& Oath

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Filed: Citizen (apr) Country: China
Timeline

This all depends on if YOU wish to remain in the USA, if so then stick it out and go for the green-card.

If for some reason this ends up in a divorce, YOU entered the marriage in good faith, and YOU can file for removal of conditions with waiver of joint filing based one entry to a marriage in good faith.


OUR TIME LINE Please do a timeline it helps us all, thanks.

Is now a US Citizen immigration completed Jan 12, 2012.

1428954228.1592.1755425389.png

CHIN0001_zps9c01d045.gifCHIN0100_zps02549215.gifTAIW0001_zps9a9075f1.gifVIET0001_zps0a49d4a7.gif

Look here: A Candle for Love and China Family Visa Forums for Chinese/American relationship,

Visa issues, and lots of info about the Guangzhou and Hong Kong consulate.

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If I stay and get my GC (which is not even possible after being married 5 times before me) I'll feel bad as it will be just for the green card and I won't forgive myself for using someone like that.

I am so confused.

Are you saying you are staying in the relationship only because you are after the GC? Or are you just hurting because you feel that your wife has been lying to you?

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puh...ok..i think the problem is that the trust between u and ur wife is broken..sorry my english is not so well...so i try to explain u in the best way i can...first ..maybe she was embarresd that she was married 5 times..i could understand that because i would be too ....that she didnt told u was a mistake but u forgiven her so u should not bring that up to her again...so ..that she left from work..maybe she really wanna surprise u?why u think it was a lie?and now we come to the real problem..the trust is so broken that u have now doubts no matter what she says or does...

so u must ask urself first..is ur love strong enough to work it out and build the foundation again or are u done with ur feelings for her??

when u are done then u must decide if u wanna stay in us or not...if u wanna stay then go with her to the visa procedere and stay..if not...pack ur stuff and go home....

i wanna be honest..when i came her the first two month were really nice..but after we filed aos the only thing i was worried was the gc...because i had so many fear that anything comes bad and i lose my husband..i was so busy with thinking abt myself that my marriage was in trouble....and i asked myself the same questions what i asked u...am i willing to work this out and is our love strong engough...and my love was strong..so i changed my behavior and tried to establish the relationship more...we went trough this and now iam really happy..more happy as i was the first month because i know now my relationship is strong and good...

so find out if u really love this woman..and then talk talk talk...that was the rescue for my marriage..talk honest about ur fears about ur doubts and about ur feelings..and then u will see it will work...i wish u good luck

That's the main issue I know, I lost my trust totally, and now when I talk about it with her she just never admits that what she's done is actually wrong, so to her talking or communicating is just

me being childish and making mountains out of molehills.

Edited by middleofnowhere

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This all depends on if YOU wish to remain in the USA, if so then stick it out and go for the green-card.

If for some reason this ends up in a divorce, YOU entered the marriage in good faith, and YOU can file for removal of conditions with waiver of joint filing based one entry to a marriage in good faith.

I thought about doing that too, but it's a hell of a headache, lawyers and paperwork and I will end up spending so much time doing all that and wasting my life for

a green card!!

I think I will just go ahead and go to the interview and buy me some time to get the finance together to go back home, at least I will not by "overstayed".

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Filed: Citizen (pnd) Country: Germany
Timeline

ok u dont get a penalty for overstay because u did all correct..u got married u filed ur papers so u are now in a pending status and not in a overstay....and it must not be nessacery a problem at the interview that she got married 5 times...because that happend in the us really often....so i think there is no red flag in this....so and when u have the interview and get approved u will get the greencard 4 weeks later...then u can take a deep breath and think what u wanna do..stay here or go home...but to be honest..i would take the chance here...when u fail u can go home anytime...but u must think what kind of feelings u have for her...u must understand her too..she knows she made a big #### up and for some people its hard to see that...i would try to calm down and talk with quite and always stay in conversations on u...that means dont blame her..say i felt hurt..i feel in this way...if u go and say u did that and u did this she will only go to attack back...and then u both turn circles...


AOS Timeline

08/13/08 AOS sent
08/18/08 NOA1
08/22/08 Appointment Biomentrics
09/10/08 Biometrics done
09/11/08 RFE
09/18/08 Case transfered to NBC
10/16/08 EAD approved
10/24/08 EAD approved again
10/27/08 EAD in Mail
10/28/08 applied for SSN (not verified)still waiting:-(
12/18/08 got my SSN today YEAHHHHH
12/30/08 passed my TX DL today YIPPIEEEEEEE
03/03/09 Interview ,approved...thanks god:-)
03/09/09 Welcome letter in Mail.Juhuuuuuuuu
03/16/09 Green Card in Mail:-)))))

_______________________________________
ROC....and the Game starts again:-)

02/02/10 I-751 Waiver to VSC
02/08/10 NOA1
02/17/10 Check cashed
04/15/10 Biometrics
07/26/10 Interview
08/06/10 Approved ,thanks god juhuuuuuuuuuuuu
08/16/10 Greencard in Mail,done for ten years:-))

___________________________________________

N-400 here we go in the last round

12/09/2013 N-400 to Dallas

12/13/2013 NOA1

12/18/2013 check cashed

01/03/2014 Biometrics

02/04/2014 in line for Interview

04/11/2014 Interview& Oath

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If you had a good situation going back home, pack up and go back! Why stay in a strange place just to gain residency? If she wasn't straight with you, the best revenge is to live a happy life.


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Travelers - not tourists

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Thank you Goldfee111, that was one of the things that really concerned me as I don't want to be labeled as "law breaker" or "overstayed" in any country of the world no matter where.

As of talking with her this is exactly what I do, I really don't get mad, yell or any of those things I am calm by nature, and all I am saying is I'm hurt and all I need is an explanation of why

she constantly lies to me, seriously she lies even in the simple things, last week she went out to visit a friend that is sick in the hospital, and when she came back I asked her if she ate anything

cause I wanted to order some food for us to eat, and she said no she did not eat anything at all, and then the next day she was telling me what happened in the hospital and then she said while

she was eating with her frined in the the hospital this and that happened, you know what I didn't even comment cuase it's very silly to talk about stuff like that, and it's more silly to lie about it

in the first place.

If you had a good situation going back home, pack up and go back! Why stay in a strange place just to gain residency? If she wasn't straight with you, the best revenge is to live a happy life.

I don't want to revenge, but I know what you mean, she'll definitely never hear about me again if that's what I'll do.

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Filed: AOS (apr) Country: Pakistan
Timeline

You didnt catch it on original paperwork, she suppose to list al names. If she didnt then she fraud on documents. You have a pathological(sociopath cant conncet with others) liar on your hand it seems. cant change her has to have a divine intervention for that..Maybe confront her strongly, and tell her she need to confront her demons and open up truth. Because you dont know the truth and she just and actor, a stranger to you. You can do bad all by yourself


august 2004 I-129 filed (neb)

DEC 2004 Approved

interview: SEOUL

MArch 21st , 2005AR for special security clearance,washington

May 18th tranfer case from Seoul to Islammabad

June 21st security clearance done

June 28th online at the embassy in Islamabad

waiting for paper transfer and the good word

OCTOBER 14TH 2005 Interview Number 2: ISLAMABAD, PK

AR number 2 sent to DOS per Islamabad (2 cable request)

Nov 22 okd updated financial and etc proof accepted / embassy waiting for security cables

dec 20th one cable back waiting on 2nd

Jan 17th.. good word recieved. SECURITY CHECKS ALL CLEAR!!! DOS says embassy to contact him within two weeks!!!!!!

FEBRUARY 10th, 2006 VISA RECIEVED!!! They called him In via phone, stamped his passort and sent him on his way!!!

FEB 28th WELCOME HOME>>>POE CHICAGO did not even look at xray, few questions. one hour wait at Poe

march 10th marriage (nikkah at the islamic center)

aug 2006 AOS interview, cond 2 yr GC arrived september

June 2008 applied for removal of conditions on permant residency aka awaiting for 10 yr greencard

Dec 2008 10yr green card approved, no interview.

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Filed: K-1 Visa Country: Ireland
Timeline

My only advice for you is to take care of your own happiness. I agree with what others have posted- dont stay in the US if your mind is full of doubt. U sound like a very reasonable person who thinks through all situations without being irrational. I really think you deserve to be with someone who can tell you the truth. One lie leads to another as your situation shows you and you dont want a life built on lies. Life is too short.

I wish you the best of luck


20967eadtkm9brekr0.gif

"If we begin with certainties, we shall end in doubts; but if we begin with doubts, and we are patient in them, we shall end in certainties."

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Filed: Country: Mexico
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If I stay and get my GC (which is not even possible after being married 5 times before me) I'll feel bad as it will be just for the green card and I won't forgive myself for using someone like that.

I am so confused.

I think it is possible to get the GC even if she was married 5 times before, it may give some trouble during the interview, depending on the interviewer and your evidence, but I don't think it matters for your process.

It matters for you as a person but that is a different issue.


K

Meet 12/2000; Married 01/2004; AOS 01/2005; R-C 07/2007; Citizen 06/2008
In love for 14 years and happily counting...

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Filed: AOS (apr) Country: Zambia
Timeline

You observed that she is older than you. By how much? Maybe she is not treating you as an adult? I hope you focus a bit more on what attracted you to give up the life of a bachelor and why she was the one who chose? There are obviously some good things to say about her even though she is quite secretive about her life outside the home.

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If you had a good situation going back home, pack up and go back! Why stay in a strange place just to gain residency? If she wasn't straight with you, the best revenge is to live a happy life.

:thumbs:

I agree! :thumbs: I think in the long run all the lying (on her part) will eat u up inside, and there will be nothing remain just bad feeling (and resentment for you). You had a good life before you came, that shows us that you came for love and not GC. And the love part doesnt work here (coz this is not like some little misunderstanding that is reparable by reading men are from mars and women from venus type of thing), see her as she is and prepare to go home and restart your life. all the best! (F)


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