Restored!

[sara..... 371]

only thing i can add is when u finally get her home love her every day like there may not be a tomorrow, remember to try to put urself in her shoes if u were in her country and how u would feel and never let the sun set on an argument ur in my prayers

sara

[Valsu 1]

wow:valsu,just a word of advice here.Try not to pay so much attention to everything that someone says.Think about what you are trying to achieve here? Maybe your wife will still have issues on her return.Therefore, you are gonna have to try and ignore some of the hurtful things she may have to say? If you are not able to ignore a few hurtful words from someone that you have never met/likely to meet;how are you going to be able to cope with what your wife may have to say to your face? If you go head to head with her in her depressive state;that will only push her back,which will cause even more issues or even cause her to harm herself.

Hmmmmm.......

Don't worry, I'm very much prepared for anything my wife may have to say--although she's said pretty much everything she wanted to over the past couple of weeks we've been communicating already. We've worked out the majority of our issues, and the rest will just take time and cultivation.

As for these other folks, I have ignored their comments and responses, and been very nice to them. However, I've obtained all of the advice I've needed in previous threads. I am here now to rejoice with everyone that my marriage has been healed. If they want to continuously bring up the past, and start bashing me even in a "good news" thread, then I am going to take their comments and have a little fun with it.

Please don't view that as a weakness. I'm witty enough to stand my ground, and just because I'm a Christian, doesn't mean I should roll over and play dead--as some people assume all Christians "should" do. Even Jesus turned over the money changers' tables because they made God's House into a house of merchandise.

I will not respond to every "attack," but who knows which ones I may go out of my way to have fun with.

In the end, I will have my wife and a restored marriage. Those people will still be bitter at the world, and will probably continue to say harmful things toward others to make themselves feel like better individuals.

I'll gladly pray for them--even if they prefer I don't.

I won't expect them to understand.

Edited December 17, 2008 by Valsu

[nycgirl 13]

Sorry if some of you don't like my comments and/or delivery. But in my opinion (and of course its only my opinion) this story is a fraud. I'm calling like I see it, and that's the whole point of an open forum. For those of you that are wholeheartedly supporting and advising the OP, that's your prerogative.

My problem with the OP started with the TITLE of the first thread. This is the woman he supposed LOVES with all his heart and would do ANYTHING for, right???? and in the title of the thread, he basically calls her a VISA FRAUD. What kind of love is that? And who would want to chase after (hunt down) a wife that you claim to all is a Visa Fraud?

The whole story is very suspect. His behavior is borderline abusive (and we're only hearing HIS side of the story) and his facts are questionable AT BEST. I posed this question regarding his finances and NEVER got an answer: Why couldn't he take out a home equity loan, or a loan against his 401K. I refuse to believe that an ADULT with two young children would be in a situation that you can't scrape up $1500. I'll bet he would find the money if his children were sick and needed medical attention. There was no priority put on his wife's situation. Plain and simple.

[bhajishah 4]

Nycgirl you bitter @ the world?? didnt get that from your post. Just realistic good planning and the others looking out for woman. Not all of us live inside our own obsessive head.

[bhajishah 4]

New psych techniques have changed ove rthe yrs, instead of reality orientation, now the practice is to go where the person is living. Joyous reunion and jesus has worked a miracle for you. You are right we all are Jealous. Kudos VALSU!!!

[nycgirl 13]

Nycgirl you bitter @ the world?? didnt get that from your post. Just realistic good planning and the others looking out for woman. Not all of us live inside our own obsessive head.

Not bitter at all!! In fact I wanted to tame it back a little. Don't want to be seen as THE CRAZY ONE on the this thread. That title is reserved for someone else.

Edited December 17, 2008 by nycgirl

[bhajishah 4]

Having a voice and opinion is not crazy. hearing voices, believing fictional characters, and being outright delusional. NOW THATS WHAKED!!!

[Valsu 1]

Sorry if some of you don't like my comments and/or delivery. But in my opinion (and of course its only my opinion) this story is a fraud. I'm calling like I see it, and that's the whole point of an open forum. For those of you that are wholeheartedly supporting and advising the OP, that's your prerogative.

My problem with the OP started with the TITLE of the first thread. This is the woman he supposed LOVES with all his heart and would do ANYTHING for, right???? and in the title of the thread, he basically calls her a VISA FRAUD. What kind of love is that? And who would want to chase after (hunt down) a wife that you claim to all is a Visa Fraud?

The whole story is very suspect. His behavior is borderline abusive (and we're only hearing HIS side of the story) and his facts are questionable AT BEST. I posed this question regarding his finances and NEVER got an answer: Why couldn't he take out a home equity loan, or a loan against his 401K. I refuse to believe that an ADULT with two young children would be in a situation that you can't scrape up $1500. I'll bet he would find the money if his children were sick and needed medical attention. There was no priority put on his wife's situation. Plain and simple.

The problem you have is called "lack of understanding." You just take bits and pieces of anything that is said, and add to, take away from, and twist it up to mean something entirely different. Perhaps that is why folks aren't putting a lot of stock into things you say.

Either way, I can easily answer your over-zealous questions.

First, your opinions are things you're pulling from LOCKED threads, and still discussing those things in another thread not dealing with those issues any longer. First, I suggest you reconsider reposting materials from LOCKED threads, as I'm sure that's a violation of ToS on the VJ forums.

In the original thread, I placed an analysis of all the facts out for others to evaluate, and tell me if fraudulent behavior can be suspected. By doing so, that does NOT mean I loved my wife any less. Love is a two-way street, thank you, and I was trying to make sure I wasn't victim of a fraudulent situation for the sake of my children. Yes, I love my wife, but too many questions were left unanswered in the abruptness of her departure. How you fail to see that, I cannot even begin to imagine. Many people have indeed been victims of fraud, and they allowed love to blind them until it was too late to recover. In such cases, the "victim" became the "predator," and I thank my God in heaven that my wife turned out to NOT be a fraud. Of course, I'm sure that disappoints you, and it's probably why you're so upset.

Next, understand that I was only taking necessary precautions--some of us would call that wisdom. I still loved my wife, and wanted to correct everything that had been broken--which is why I went through many hours of marriage and legal counseling, therapy, and prayer. Obviously, I wanted to let her know that, and give her a renewed faith in our marriage.

As for my finances, I answered you TWICE in former threads. You just failed to read the responses. Here, I will tell you again: I just bought this home 8 months ago--it is impossible to get a home equity loan on your home when you have NO equity. Next, I do not have a 401K plan, as I told you before. Also, why is it hard to believe that an adult with two children cannot scrape up $1500? I was a SINGLE parent of two children, who was victim of previous divorce. You think it's easy for single men and women to build up a savings while raising children alone when all their money goes toward child care, and paying their own bills, and the bills or their ex-spouse?

My exwife cheated on me after 7 years of marriage with another married man, and ran off, leaving me holding the basket of bills (hers and mine) not many years back. She hasn't bothered paying her child support, and I was actually transfering into full-time Pharmacy school at the time she left--which meant I had to cut my schooling short to find two full-time jobs to support my children and the bills of two people, formerly covered by two incomes. Now I have to pay back student loans without the Pharmacy degree to cover them, along with other obligations I could not avoid. I bought a home, yes, but only because it was cheaper than the apartments in my area--and I barely qualified for it. It has been a struggle for me, as it would be for any single parent. We have survived, nonetheless. Each time I do get money saved up, some emergency takes place, and I lose it. Such is life, however, and there are people that have it much worse than me.

No one is above life's trials, and the more you judge others about their situations, the more prone you make yourself to becoming victim of the same circumstances.

Take heed what is stated in St. Matthew 7

1 Judge not, that ye be not judged.

2 For with what judgment ye judge, ye shall be judged: and with what measure ye mete, it shall be measured to you again.

3 And why beholdest thou the mote that is in thy brother's eye, but considerest not the beam that is in thine own eye?

4 Or how wilt thou say to thy brother, Let me pull out the mote out of thine eye; and, behold, a beam is in thine own eye?

5 Thou hypocrite, first cast out the beam out of thine own eye; and then shalt thou see clearly to cast out the mote out of thy brother's eye.

I can only suggest to you to calm down, and be more respectful toward others' situations. You never know who may be helping you out of a situation of your own down the road--could be the same person(s) you lay your attacks on.

Edited December 17, 2008 by Valsu

[LaL 418]

Sorry if some of you don't like my comments and/or delivery. But in my opinion (and of course its only my opinion) this story is a fraud. I'm calling like I see it, and that's the whole point of an open forum. For those of you that are wholeheartedly supporting and advising the OP, that's your prerogative.

My problem with the OP started with the TITLE of the first thread. This is the woman he supposed LOVES with all his heart and would do ANYTHING for, right???? and in the title of the thread, he basically calls her a VISA FRAUD. What kind of love is that? And who would want to chase after (hunt down) a wife that you claim to all is a Visa Fraud?

The whole story is very suspect. His behavior is borderline abusive (and we're only hearing HIS side of the story) and his facts are questionable AT BEST. I posed this question regarding his finances and NEVER got an answer: Why couldn't he take out a home equity loan, or a loan against his 401K. I refuse to believe that an ADULT with two young children would be in a situation that you can't scrape up $1500. I'll bet he would find the money if his children were sick and needed medical attention. There was no priority put on his wife's situation. Plain and simple.

Why are you taking it so seriously to post in such a highly emotive way regarding a topic that you suspect is fraudulent?

[trailmix 77]

Much to my dismay, this Dr. Jeff Owens is an intolerant, gay-bashing fundamentalist and proud of it. He is excessively judgmental and preaches against such things as Mohawk hair cuts (they are a sign of being a transvestite), a guy who wears his hair long, or has ear piercings, differing shoe styles, public displays of affection, young women who wear shorts in public, and among other things regards it as sinful if a woman wears a mini-skirt (and especially sinful if she is overweight). Non-comformists are not welcome in his world; they are wicked and heathen-loving. My viewpoint comes from hearing one of his recent sermons. He "sells" his intolerance on CDs, available through his own store, and through his preaching engagements. I would not like to be in a marriage that is overshadowed by the judgmentalism of that type of "Christianity."

Dr. Jeff Owens is certainly a fundamentalist, but the messages he preaches regarding specific things as you mentioned above are sermons to his personal Sunday School Classes and students at his College. I'm assuming you listened to one of the free sermons on his website.

You are welcomed to listen to those things if you wish to partake in the fundamentals of an independent baptist, and increase your personal convictions between you and God.

The materials I'm talking about are his Marriage Counseling messages, which have nothing to do with the things you mentioned above. The marriage counseling messages are very down to earth, and shows how much love that fundamental man has for married couples and the family. If you wish to help your marriage, I recommend listening to someone who knows how to fix one. That's man's reputation preceeds him, as he's saved literally thousands of marriages and coaches married couples daily, still.

Have fun! Time for work.

Ok, i'll stop reading this here - but I do have to say Valsu, I personally find it to be rather arrogant for you to be advising people on immigration and marriage.

[nycgirl 13]

Okay, you win. I will leave this highly entertaining thread! I wish you a fantastic life (bearing in mind that "fantasy" is the root word of fantastic)!!!!

[chavelle 6]

Sorry if some of you don't like my comments and/or delivery. But in my opinion (and of course its only my opinion) this story is a fraud. I'm calling like I see it, and that's the whole point of an open forum. For those of you that are wholeheartedly supporting and advising the OP, that's your prerogative.

My problem with the OP started with the TITLE of the first thread. This is the woman he supposed LOVES with all his heart and would do ANYTHING for, right???? and in the title of the thread, he basically calls her a VISA FRAUD. What kind of love is that? And who would want to chase after (hunt down) a wife that you claim to all is a Visa Fraud?

The whole story is very suspect. His behavior is borderline abusive (and we're only hearing HIS side of the story) and his facts are questionable AT BEST. I posed this question regarding his finances and NEVER got an answer: Why couldn't he take out a home equity loan, or a loan against his 401K. I refuse to believe that an ADULT with two young children would be in a situation that you can't scrape up $1500. I'll bet he would find the money if his children were sick and needed medical attention. There was no priority put on his wife's situation. Plain and simple.

Hey, no offence intended. I was just weighing up the OP ability to ignore certain things,based on what he has shown here.

Edited December 17, 2008 by chavelle

[pcana 0]

Okay, you win. I will leave this highly entertaining thread! I wish you a fantastic life (bearing in mind that "fantasy" is the root word of fantastic)!!!!

You had fun, didn't you?? Gosh I thought you were having a heart attack every time you responded.

Remenber this is only an internet forum, don't take it too seriously.. it may harm your health in the long run.

Peace

[bhajishah 4]

Sorry no xtians @ my house. Quote Quran and maybe I'll listen brotha

[chavelle 6]

wow:valsu,just a word of advice here.Try not to pay so much attention to everything that someone says.Think about what you are trying to achieve here? Maybe your wife will still have issues on her return.Therefore, you are gonna have to try and ignore some of the hurtful things she may have to say? If you are not able to ignore a few hurtful words from someone that you have never met/likely to meet;how are you going to be able to cope with what your wife may have to say to your face? If you go head to head with her in her depressive state;that will only push her back,which will cause even more issues or even cause her to harm herself.

Hmmmmm.......

Don't worry, I'm very much prepared for anything my wife may have to say--although she's said pretty much everything she wanted to over the past couple of weeks we've been communicating already. We've worked out the majority of our issues, and the rest will just take time and cultivation.

As for these other folks, I have ignored their comments and responses, and been very nice to them. However, I've obtained all of the advice I've needed in previous threads. I am here now to rejoice with everyone that my marriage has been healed. If they want to continuously bring up the past, and start bashing me even in a "good news" thread, then I am going to take their comments and have a little fun with it.

Please don't view that as a weakness. I'm witty enough to stand my ground, and just because I'm a Christian, doesn't mean I should roll over and play dead--as some people assume all Christians "should" do. Even Jesus turned over the money changers' tables because they made God's House into a house of merchandise.

I will not respond to every "attack," but who knows which ones I may go out of my way to have fun with.

In the end, I will have my wife and a restored marriage. Those people will still be bitter at the world, and will probably continue to say harmful things toward others to make themselves feel like better individuals.

I'll gladly pray for them--even if they prefer I don't.

I won't expect them to understand.

Do you honestly believe that all your problems are over? ....hmmmm Remember what got her in the mess she is in? I think that you have a lot of work to do where your marriage is concerned!I also think that you rejoicing is premature at this stage.

Quite childish and pointless to say you are "having fun" with certain replies ;while your wife is locked up!

Edited December 17, 2008 by chavelle