Physically/emotionally abused by USC "WIFE"

[strandedlost 0]

ever since arriving,.....i've been subject to emotional, physical abuse from my USC wife. I have also been subject to emotional abuse from both of her parents. This has happened on a weekly basis now for 3+ years.

had my N-400 interview, passed, taken the oath 1 month ago, but i just can't deal with it anymore, i want to leave her.

Anything i ever did or say, if it wasn't what my wife or her parents wanted they would always threaten me with getting deported and they would "make sure that it happened". in their exact words.

So i didn't know what to do. I held on through the conditional green card stage, i held on through removing conditions (THAT was a nightmare of a wait for a year) and i held on through naturalization, wondering to myself "what do i do,? how do i leave her???"

I didn't/don't know what to do. No matter what i did.....what i said, if it wasn't to their liking they would always say something like "you do this or we're calling immigration,"

Then my wife would say "you do this, or i'll f@#$ you and your life over and your immigration status and make sure you get deported if you don't do as i say".

I never used her because im from a 1st world country where we are in the top 5 economically and living standards. Its just that the reason WHY i didn't leave her and hung on this long is 2 reasons....

1.- I didn't, still don't know HOW to leave her, im afraid of repercussions after i leave her, afraid for my life.

2.- Constant daily threats of calling immigration just kept me hanging in so i could just "get done with the immigration ####### so they wouldn't have that to use against me anymore.

EVERY TIME i had to go to get my biometrics appointment, or have my N-400 interview....it came with ALOT of conditions...if i didn't do this....or i didn't do that,....she wasn't going to take me to get the fingerprints done, or take me to the interview.

She constantly ses that "i owe her everything for bringing me here"....Once again,...im from a 1st world country, and was better off economically where i was.

Now im sure she along with her parents called immigration and made complaints against me, plenty of times. I was surprised WHY it was never brought up at the n-400 interview.....very surprised, im not sure if they really did call immigration and made complaints, or just blowing smoke. OR they actually did and immigration disregarded it, im not sure, or if the complaints maybe got lost in the system.

I consulted a lawyer, he wanted me to leave her during the lifting of conditions phase. Although i'd been abused physically MANY times, had a knife held to to my throat, chocked me, kicked me, punched me, stabbed me in the leg (which required stitches and i NEVER went to the hospital because i didn't want the doctors to ask how and then she threatened to kill me if i did go), scratched me, i never called the police, because

1. Im a guy, and felt the police wouldn't believe me

2. Her parents are well known in the town for over 30+ years (reputation)

3. wanted to work things out with her (crazy of me)

I never have hit her, although i have defended myself and pushed her off me when she had a knife at my throat and put her in a hold that she couldn't get out of to prevent her from stabbing me again.

I also didn't trust the justice system, and didn't want things to backfire on me through a VAWA believing that hardly any guys use this route............so basically i've just shut my mouth, held it in and kept cool, saying to myself "thank god this is almost over!!! get done with this stupid immigration ####### and leave her!!!" .....because thats what she ALWAYS threatened me with,...still does!!! even though i have been a citizen for a month. so i figured to myself...

......."well if you get the immigration part over-and-done-with that is something less they can't threaten you over anymore".

So now that i am wanting to leave her, and basically im ready to walk out and leave ANY day, im afraid that her and her parents will call immigration and make ALOT of complaints....more so,.....im afraid for my life. Im afraid that she will come after me in a rage of anger and try to kill me, and her parents, will feel very embarrassed about the situation because of their reputation and everyone will know in the town.

Even though im now naturalized (1 month since oath), and we've been married 4 years, is there a certain time frame that i have to wait in order to leave her so that immigration won't accuse me of fraud? or more so, process complaints that her and her parents will make to immigration?....

Can she claim fraud??? if so....how??? I did enter into it with good intentions.

The marriage started out well for the first 3-5 months,...then from there...it went downhill completely and i've just stuck it out since.

How many times can her and her parents complain to immigration and they take it seriously? I've heard that you can only complain once with very good evidence (what my lawyer told me) and that every complaint made, is recorded in the sense that if immigration starts to see daily/weekly complaints about an immigrant spouse, they will disregard it as just a spouse "who is sour" over the break -up.

If they make a complaint, and immigration somehow believes her and her parents and processes it, and even though im naturalized, what is the process??? am i sent a letter to be interviewed at the local district office even as a naturalized citizen? or does it go straight to an immigration judge?? I never made complaints to the police although people at my workplace saw my injuries. I took no photos of when she left marks.

I know her and her parents are excellent in lying, and making up stories, which is why i am asking.

What do i do.....how can i leave her?.....as a naturalized citizen...what are my rights? can i really get deported??? even as a naturalized citizen??...even when i entered into the marriage in good faaith (we both did)

Help me please.........

[Ensamvarg 6]

I'm not an expert or anything but you ARE a citizen (doesn't matter if you're naturalized). There is nothing your wife or her family can do to deport you.

[KimandRuss 0]

agreed.

You need to protect yourself. Get away..have no direct contact. Record everything that happens in a notebook. Contact the police so they are aware of the situation and go escorted by them if you need to enter the house for anything.

Better yet....take everything with you in one go ...and run!

Then go to your County's Family Court and fill out the papers for divorce.

Then live happy.

[Alli and Léo 0]

Even if she did complain about fraud...which can't hurt you (citizen)...she would also more than likely be investigated for fraud as well. Wouldn't worry about it...just leave...no one deserves abuse of any type.

[Chica Yeyé 41]

You are a US citizen. You just pack your stuff and leave.

[Laura+Tom 2]

In a previous post you say you were successfully divorced last year. You don't owe her anything just leave her.

[Old Dominion 26]

Gather whatever evidence you have regarding the types of abuse, in case you ever need it, and get her name off any joint credit cards and cell phone accounts, bank accounts, etc., and leave that home with your belongings as soon as possible. The next contact with she and her family should be through an attorney.

You are 100% in charge of your own life, you have no fear of being deported, and you need to get off to a fresh start before this all wears you out.

[bhajishah 4]

Live in fear or live in freedom.. get a divorce call the law on her if she harass you . keep a journal with witnesses of abuse for future if needed. Be a grown azz man and stand up for yourself

[diadromous mermaid 36]

Are you sure you are completely innocent of manipulating immigration laws, yourself?

ever since arriving,.....i've been subject to emotional, physical abuse from my USC wife. I have also been subject to emotional abuse from both of her parents. This has happened on a weekly basis now for 3+ years.

had my N-400 interview, passed, taken the oath 1 month ago, but i just can't deal with it anymore, i want to leave her.

Anything i ever did or say, if it wasn't what my wife or her parents wanted they would always threaten me with getting deported and they would "make sure that it happened". in their exact words.

So i didn't know what to do. I held on through the conditional green card stage, i held on through removing conditions (THAT was a nightmare of a wait for a year) and i held on through naturalization, wondering to myself "what do i do,? how do i leave her???"

I didn't/don't know what to do. No matter what i did.....what i said, if it wasn't to their liking they would always say something like "you do this or we're calling immigration,"

Then my wife would say "you do this, or i'll f@#$ you and your life over and your immigration status and make sure you get deported if you don't do as i say".

I never used her because im from a 1st world country where we are in the top 5 economically and living standards. Its just that the reason WHY i didn't leave her and hung on this long is 2 reasons....

1.- I didn't, still don't know HOW to leave her, im afraid of repercussions after i leave her, afraid for my life.

2.- Constant daily threats of calling immigration just kept me hanging in so i could just "get done with the immigration ####### so they wouldn't have that to use against me anymore.

EVERY TIME i had to go to get my biometrics appointment, or have my N-400 interview....it came with ALOT of conditions...if i didn't do this....or i didn't do that,....she wasn't going to take me to get the fingerprints done, or take me to the interview.

She constantly ses that "i owe her everything for bringing me here"....Once again,...im from a 1st world country, and was better off economically where i was.

Now im sure she along with her parents called immigration and made complaints against me, plenty of times. I was surprised WHY it was never brought up at the n-400 interview.....very surprised, im not sure if they really did call immigration and made complaints, or just blowing smoke. OR they actually did and immigration disregarded it, im not sure, or if the complaints maybe got lost in the system.

I consulted a lawyer, he wanted me to leave her during the lifting of conditions phase. Although i'd been abused physically MANY times, had a knife held to to my throat, chocked me, kicked me, punched me, stabbed me in the leg (which required stitches and i NEVER went to the hospital because i didn't want the doctors to ask how and then she threatened to kill me if i did go), scratched me, i never called the police, because

1. Im a guy, and felt the police wouldn't believe me

2. Her parents are well known in the town for over 30+ years (reputation)

3. wanted to work things out with her (crazy of me)

I never have hit her, although i have defended myself and pushed her off me when she had a knife at my throat and put her in a hold that she couldn't get out of to prevent her from stabbing me again.

I also didn't trust the justice system, and didn't want things to backfire on me through a VAWA believing that hardly any guys use this route............so basically i've just shut my mouth, held it in and kept cool, saying to myself "thank god this is almost over!!! get done with this stupid immigration ####### and leave her!!!" .....because thats what she ALWAYS threatened me with,...still does!!! even though i have been a citizen for a month. so i figured to myself...

......."well if you get the immigration part over-and-done-with that is something less they can't threaten you over anymore".

So now that i am wanting to leave her, and basically im ready to walk out and leave ANY day, im afraid that her and her parents will call immigration and make ALOT of complaints....more so,.....im afraid for my life. Im afraid that she will come after me in a rage of anger and try to kill me, and her parents, will feel very embarrassed about the situation because of their reputation and everyone will know in the town.

Even though im now naturalized (1 month since oath), and we've been married 4 years, is there a certain time frame that i have to wait in order to leave her so that immigration won't accuse me of fraud? or more so, process complaints that her and her parents will make to immigration?....

Can she claim fraud??? if so....how??? I did enter into it with good intentions.

The marriage started out well for the first 3-5 months,...then from there...it went downhill completely and i've just stuck it out since.

How many times can her and her parents complain to immigration and they take it seriously? I've heard that you can only complain once with very good evidence (what my lawyer told me) and that every complaint made, is recorded in the sense that if immigration starts to see daily/weekly complaints about an immigrant spouse, they will disregard it as just a spouse "who is sour" over the break -up.

If they make a complaint, and immigration somehow believes her and her parents and processes it, and even though im naturalized, what is the process??? am i sent a letter to be interviewed at the local district office even as a naturalized citizen? or does it go straight to an immigration judge?? I never made complaints to the police although people at my workplace saw my injuries. I took no photos of when she left marks.

I know her and her parents are excellent in lying, and making up stories, which is why i am asking.

What do i do.....how can i leave her?.....as a naturalized citizen...what are my rights? can i really get deported??? even as a naturalized citizen??...even when i entered into the marriage in good faaith (we both did)

Help me please.........

[diadromous mermaid 36]

You claimed in previous posts that you were called for a "Stokes Interview" for AOS, then you left her; you self-petitioned to remove conditions, presumably either during or after a divorce. Now you calim that you have naturalised, yet as an LPR no longer married to a US citizen, you were not eligible to naturalise yet. What have you expressed to USCIS about the state of your marriage?

And yes, if permanent residence is awarded, but it is later determined that it was either awarded in error (too soon, or no subsisting marriage) then steps to rescind that status can and will be taken.

Edited December 1, 2008 by diadromous mermaid

[caybee 21]

In a previous post you say you were successfully divorced last year. You don't owe her anything just leave her.

That's true -- almost a year and a half ago, you stated that you had divorced your wife. My understanding is that you were married in 2004 or 2005, that you were removing conditions in 2007, and that you expected to have 2.5 to 3 years until you could apply for naturalization on your own at that time. Did you then naturalize after three years instead of five, after your divorce? Is this what your (ex)wife and her family are holding over your head -- did she claim the two of you were still married so you could naturalize after three years?

Forgive me if my math is wrong. I'm not trying to make an accusation, nor have I been through CR1 or naturalization, so I may be confused. It's just that from this post it looks like you have nothing whatsoever to worry about and nothing to keep you from getting away from the abuse and living your own life in peace. BUT if someone obtains naturalization fraudulently, they can indeed lose it. If there's any question of something like this, better consult an attorney. But I would think your life is more important than anything she can do to your immigration status, and domestic violence with a weapon kinda trumps everything else, in my mind.

[Boiler 43,438]

You claimed in previous posts that you were called for a "Stokes Interview" for AOS, then you left her; you self-petitioned to remove conditions, presumably either during or after a divorce. Now you calim that you have naturalised, yet as an LPR no longer married to a US citizen, you were not eligible to naturalise yet. What have you expressed to USCIS about the state of your marriage?

And yes, if permanent residence is awarded, but it is later determined that it was either awarded in error (too soon, or no subsisting marriage) then steps to rescind that status can and will be taken.

Nice catch

I would add that it is difficult to take away Citizenship, and if he self petitioned would that not have been in his file?

[diadromous mermaid 36]

It would indeed, if he did "self-petition". But, (conjecture only ) it might not if the OP referred, mistakenly to self-petitioning, but in point of fact, it was more a case of his sending in the joint petition with his wife's signature on it, and living on his own after moving away from his wife, but not yet being divorced.

You claimed in previous posts that you were called for a "Stokes Interview" for AOS, then you left her; you self-petitioned to remove conditions, presumably either during or after a divorce. Now you calim that you have naturalised, yet as an LPR no longer married to a US citizen, you were not eligible to naturalise yet. What have you expressed to USCIS about the state of your marriage?

And yes, if permanent residence is awarded, but it is later determined that it was either awarded in error (too soon, or no subsisting marriage) then steps to rescind that status can and will be taken.

Nice catch

I would add that it is difficult to take away Citizenship, and if he self petitioned would that not have been in his file?

[desert_fox 32]

wimp!!!!......r u from Nigeria??

[Boiler 43,438]

It would indeed, if he did "self-petition". But, (conjecture only ) it might not if the OP referred, mistakenly to self-petitioning, but in point of fact, it was more a case of his sending in the joint petition with his wife's signature on it, and living on his own after moving away from his wife, but not yet being divorced.

You claimed in previous posts that you were called for a "Stokes Interview" for AOS, then you left her; you self-petitioned to remove conditions, presumably either during or after a divorce. Now you calim that you have naturalised, yet as an LPR no longer married to a US citizen, you were not eligible to naturalise yet. What have you expressed to USCIS about the state of your marriage?

And yes, if permanent residence is awarded, but it is later determined that it was either awarded in error (too soon, or no subsisting marriage) then steps to rescind that status can and will be taken.

Nice catch

I would add that it is difficult to take away Citizenship, and if he self petitioned would that not have been in his file?

That sounds more probable to me, but its the nature of these boards that you never know.

I do remember a story some time back, where a person had obtained PR status by being sponsored single child when actually married. Later sponsored children after being naturalised, and an observant CO noticed.

Always wondered what happened to their Citizenship.