USCIS, you win...sort of...and a question about canceling the K-1

[rebeccajo 14]

Donna-marie, for the most obvious reason of all: We wait TOGETHER instead of 10,000 miles apart not knowing when we'll get to be together!!!! Isn't that obvious from my post?! Pshbrk, thanks for your usual clear-headed and knowledgeable response.

I find your response RUDE how was SHE suppose to know..honestly I swear SIGH

So what honestly..I have Not seen my SO for 1.5 years but I am not going to be stupid enough to withdraw my K1 petition JUST because I miss him. If I want to be with him I am sticking to the legal route.

JUST because YOU get married does not guarantee you will get a visa for it. EVEN IN CHINA. Now you are on file and IF you cancel and get married they will know it was fraud; IN TURN will get you jail time.

Fraud? Jail time?

[Sinergy 3]

Donna-marie, for the most obvious reason of all: We wait TOGETHER instead of 10,000 miles apart not knowing when we'll get to be together!!!! Isn't that obvious from my post?! Pshbrk, thanks for your usual clear-headed and knowledgeable response.

I find your response RUDE how was SHE suppose to know..honestly I swear SIGH

So what honestly..I have Not seen my SO for 1.5 years but I am not going to be stupid enough to withdraw my K1 petition JUST because I miss him. If I want to be with him I am sticking to the legal route.

JUST because YOU get married does not guarantee you will get a visa for it. EVEN IN CHINA. Now you are on file and IF you cancel and get married they will know it was fraud; IN TURN will get you jail time.

I realize YOU MISS YOUR SO but we all do, WE are all in the same boat!

THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE FROM ANOTHER COUNTRY!

If you filed the k1 visa it will be 6 months to 9 months... BUT if you go get married it will 9 times out of 10 BE LONGER

THINK ABOUT IT

If she is WORTH it then she is WORTH THE WAIT and IF your love is THAT strong then this wait for the visa WILL BE WORTH IT. If the love is strong YOU both will with stand this wait. It will go by fast..stay busy. WE all have to go through it if we choose to love someone who is not a US citizen

up to you otherwise do what push said and go

Dont waste your breath, some ppl dont think they need to wait.

the unfortunate part is, he will withdrawl the petition and then file for k3, and have to wait another year or so. But he dont want to hear that. Hes been given advice, its his choice to take it.

[Neonred 3,452]

Enjoy your life in China, and don't worry about the difficulties you are adding to your future return.

Hey, wait a minute, aren't you the guy that wanted to "skip all this nonsense" and have her come over on a student visa to learn English just so you could get married without needing to apply for the K-1 visa?

[Kevin&Leilei 1]

People, READ the OP. He's NOT going to file for a K-3 visa. He's moving to China permanently. From what I can tell, it is FAR easier for a USC to get permanent residency in China than it is for a Chinese National to get any US visa.

[DanielParul 50]

Maybe he will maybe he won't file for K3 after moving to China, who knows but he sure will have wasted a lot of time, money and effort on this petition. The point is, PATIENCE is the key to a successful immigration and love/married life. Just don't make a rash decision and regret later. Think about it and then decide. All the best.

[GlobeHopperMama 95]

Fraud and jail time are not relevant if you simply drop the K1 process and don't have your gf attempt any entries to the US until the K3 or CR1 comes through, so don't worry about that. Honestly, though, K1s aren't known for taking that long to process anyway. In fact, they're usually the fastest!

Also, I gladly left the US in July of 07. I thought I had weighed all the options and had made the best choice. We have a complicated case and I was sure that even if we got a lifetime ban (like we supposedly have now), I'd be OK living outside the US forever. A year later, I was saying goodbye to my husband in Mexico and moving back to the US because we simply weren't making it financially. Also, with a baby on the way, I just for some reason felt the desperate need to return to my country to bring this baby into the world. I realize this wouldn't be relevant for you right now, but at some point, when you face parenthood, you suddenly feel a need to provide the very best for your child and simply surviving in another country doesn't suffice.

I regularly participate in a different immigration forum where members have spent years separated from their spouses. Meanwhile, people on this forum have waited years for Administrative Processing and other nightmares. These struggles make the standard K1 wait seem like so much less of an obstacle. Heck, my own parents waited 6 months in separate countries, back in 1981 when they were seeking a fiance visa out of Guatemala. They are very glad they did, it really strengthened their relationship. In the same way, these months apart from my husband have been some of our hardest, but also some of the most fortifying to our relationship.

Definitely be cautious. If moving to China is really the right choice right now, go for it, and start all over with USCIS. But if you've only been waiting a couple months, and your petition is totally within processing times, please don't make a hasty decision that you'll regret later!

[DanielParul 50]

agree with guatetaliana. Whats the guarantee that there will never be a separation in the future when you two are together. Life is unpredictable and what if you/she gets a touring job or has to travel otherwise, you can't just give up yet. Look at us, we waited for nearly 2 yrs to be together and have been married now for 7.5 months and been separated for 4 while I am pregnant here and my husband is fighting a war but we can't just give up and decide to move. We are not the only ones, everyone here is waiting and some for years and years. I will still say - think about it with a cool head.

[Neonred 3,452]

People, READ the OP. He's NOT going to file for a K-3 visa. He's moving to China permanently. From what I can tell, it is FAR easier for a USC to get permanent residency in China than it is for a Chinese National to get any US visa.

How do you come up with that when he says "go back to China, get married, and do this thing the other way....At some point, I'm concerned that the consulate in China will have two different petitions for the same couple."?

Looks to me like he plans on returning with his wife.

[Leedah 22]

This topic is going to the wayside now.

We all know that the wait is maddening and tough to say the least.

However, one thing plays into these situations. Most people who choose to marry non-citizens are level headed and patient.

Think about it. A person HAS TO be level headed enough to step outside of their comfort zone to even leave the U.S. and travel to another country.

The average U.S. citizen didn't own a passport until recently and that was due to new regulations that required passports for cruise ships, etc. Heck, the past vice-presidential candidate JUST got a passport LAST YEAR. And that was the GOVERNOR of a STATE!

So when we travel to foreign lands, we learn to adapt to cultures that are not usually our own. We learn when to keep our mouths shut to avoid unlawful police and when to speak up while haggling with local merchants.

We learn how to be patient AND LEVEL HEADED from the situations we encounter.

And that is what makes us usually choose to marry the non-citizen in the first place.

Patience & Level Headedness.

Patience when our SO says a word that is not quite translated correctly in English.

Level Headed when our SO's (who've probably never been to the U.S.) tell us how the U.S. is and why we (the citizen) should listen to their "version" of the U.S. (lol)

Patience when well meaning strangers (coworkers, friends, family, etc) wonder why your not with your SO and why its taking so long (why do folks think being a citizen implies an automatic ticket to the U.S.)

Level Headed enough to file the paperwork to start the immigration process.

People on VJ are a different breed. These people are doing for themselves and their SO's what the average person would just pay an attorney thousands of dollars to do. After reading this post, I ask everyone one of you to give yourself an empowered pat on the back.

I still say its best to be patient and wait or go to your SO and wait the process out there.

Why give in to your emotions at this crucial time? No matter what people want to say, the U.S. is still more free and a better place to live than most other countries. I've traveled and lived in more countries than I can count and I still look forward to getting off the plane and seeing the "Welcome To The United States of America" signs when exiting to the gateway.

You will be with your SO soon enough. Be patient.

[msu17 0]

Sorry, but if he's living in China legally, wouldn't DCF be the easiest route of them all when and if they decide to move back to the US? I agree that yes, you need to be patient with this whole thing, but if you can move there, be happy and work why not? Only you know what is best for your life and the future with your fiance. Weigh all your options carefully and make an informed decision. There are several stages where you can cancel the petition. You can send in a letter like pushbrk said, or have your fiance cancel the petition once it gets to the embassy stage. Probably best to directly cancel it with USCIS.

[Kevin&Leilei 1]

How do you come up with that when he says "go back to China, get married, and do this thing the other way....At some point, I'm concerned that the consulate in China will have two different petitions for the same couple."?

Looks to me like he plans on returning with his wife.

I'm moving back to China, for a life of expatriotism.

If he intends to eventually file for a K-3, I don't think he'll be in any hurry for it. I took his "do this thing the other way" to mean applying for permanent residency in China, but I'll shut up and let him speak for himself.

Edited November 12, 2008 by Kevin&Leilei

[Wis-Can 0]

People, READ the OP. He's NOT going to file for a K-3 visa. He's moving to China permanently. From what I can tell, it is FAR easier for a USC to get permanent residency in China than it is for a Chinese National to get any US visa.

How do you come up with that when he says "go back to China, get married, and do this thing the other way....At some point, I'm concerned that the consulate in China will have two different petitions for the same couple."?

Looks to me like he plans on returning with his wife.

I agree, that's what I was reading out of the OP's post.

[GlobeHopperMama 95]

Sorry, but if he's living in China legally, wouldn't DCF be the easiest route of them all when and if they decide to move back to the US? I agree that yes, you need to be patient with this whole thing, but if you can move there, be happy and work why not? Only you know what is best for your life and the future with your fiance. Weigh all your options carefully and make an informed decision. There are several stages where you can cancel the petition. You can send in a letter like pushbrk said, or have your fiance cancel the petition once it gets to the embassy stage. Probably best to directly cancel it with USCIS.

That's a good point, but I think in most countries (I believe China included), you have to legally reside in the country for 6 months to do DCF. So that adds 6 months to the process. By that point, you're closer to the end by doing the regular spouse visa filed stateside.

[cdneh 3,112]

Enjoy your life in China, and don't worry about the difficulties you are adding to your future return.

Hey, wait a minute, aren't you the guy that wanted to "skip all this nonsense" and have her come over on a student visa to learn English just so you could get married without needing to apply for the K-1 visa?

Same guy.

[panterchen 1]

I can at least to some degree understand the OP. I mean, what if you are really indifferent about where to live? If you can have a happy life together, both get a good employment and the language and other cultural barriers that might exist are not that strong for you...then we would probably have gone to Germany too.

For us it was more important what country provides the best opportunity for the two of us together. We decided for the US because he would have had a harder time finding a job in Germany than me in the US (mainly due to the German language which he is not fluent in yet) and because he has another year to finish school there anyways. So we figured we might as well wait out the K1 process, get married over there with our families being there, start up something and then after 4-5 years (by that time I'll hopefully have citizenship so we can freely move between the two worlds) when we feel ready to have kids we can think again which country is best for raising them. My fiancé so far would like to live in Germany and Europe so we will reevaluate the situation in a few years to see what is best.

I have to agree that the K1 process is hard on us. It is hard leaving each other over and over again when you don't know at what point in time you will see each other again. But it is also a fortifying experience as it draws us closer together. We talk about our feelings more than we usually would probably and we see what we are doing for each other (waiting, paying all those long distance flight, spending evenings at home talking on skype while you could go out with friends, filing all those documents, giving up your life in one country, preparing everything (from wedding to new apartment and our financial situation) until the other one is finally able to come. We are fighting to be together and I think that is one of the best and most rewarding experiences a couple can have together.