Does anyone elses family...?

[JVKn'CVO 11]

You guys are great. I laughed for how everyone looks at the subject differently and your reactions. This is really awesome subject.

Well, here in the US they teach you to hate people. Look at all the wars with different countries during last few years and decades. You hate them and they hate you. Most of people who become ignorant and don't want to accept anything usually only listening to media without their own analysis and accept it as they tell them.

Something they don't get is people from any race are mixed, good and bad are mix and just think you are dealing with the good ones only.

I haven't had any racist issue in my family yet after four years of marriage but I am sure it is hard to deal with.

Toast for the day, we can all live together without any problem and negative thoughts.

Cheers

Saludos,

Caro

[Tunisia216 2]

I am really sorry to hear that!! I hope the same that by time they will know and accept him!!!

My family are the biggest racists I have ever seen in my life. So when I married a Mexican, you can imagine how that went down. When I say how hard this process is, I always get that look, you know the one "You did this to yourself, so don't talk about it to me" look. Does anyone else have a family like this?

I'm forever getting the "why couldn't you just have gotten an American guy ?" speech from my family.Once they get to know him,hopefully they'll change their tune.

[Sprailenes 47]

My husbands grandmother is racist. They try to make it off like she's old, but I don't care how old you are. It's not acceptable to be ignorant. She frequently talks about how I'll scalp people, thinks that I know how to use a bow and arrow and feels that because I'm native american, I must love dances with wolves and wind talkers.

All I can do is feel sorry for her for not having a proper education.

Edited August 31, 2008 by Sprailenes

[Tunisia216 2]

My sentiments exactly for people who act this way!!

My husbands grandmother is racist. They try to make it off like she's old, but I don't care how old you are. It's not acceptable to be ignorant. She frequently talks about how I'll scalp people, thinks that I know how to use a bow and arrow and feels that because I'm native american, I must love dances with wolves and wind talkers.

All I can do is feel sorry for her for not having a proper education.

[GabachaYucateca 0]

You know what's funny that even though latinos are so discriminated here in the States, many of them are racists themselves. I know a lot of them who are not very accepting of black people even if they're from the same country. How do you like them apples? Pretty messed up huh?

Diana

OMG Diana, that is so true. Just go to Miami - the infighting within the Spanish-speaking community is terrible. Caribbean islanders like PR, DR, Cuba hate South Americans, hate each other, hate Central Americans...South Americans hate various people from other SA countries...trying to get an Argentine and a Chilean to agree is like trying to tell the Pope to become Jewish - will never happen. Mexicans don't like Central Americans because many from El Salvador, Nicaragua and Honduras get a free pass because of their refugee status. And then, don't even think of asking an Argentine if they're Latino - because they see themselves as white/european (which they are). And then naturally, everyone just wants to kick the ####### out of the Cubans because they can just come on in if they have a wet-foot/dry-foot and they get to partake of the public trough. It just astounds me to no end.

That's just like that here.The Puerto Ricans hate the Dominicans and vice versa.The Mexicans and Central Americans seem to get along okay.The South Americans think the Puerto Ricans are lazy.The Argentines think they're European.And everybody thinks the Carribean islanders speak terrible Spanish.Can't we all just get along ?

And the Puerto Ricans think that the Mexicans and Guatemalans are country rubes. The Cape Verdeans look down on every one from other African countries. The Latinos think that the Cape Verdeans are loud and violent.

And everyone lives in the same flippin neighborhood.

BTW, I got called the N-word again yesterday. I wish they'd stop that.

[Teacher Mark 53]

Here's one of my earlier posts:

http://www.visajourney.com/forums/index.ph...=102999&hl=

[Kamz 0]

Oh well, I just would like to add that even here in Asia, we discriminate one another... I think it is a cancer in each and every social group, culture or organization. It is very much a reality. I don't think it will ever die out nor will it even get too far. They're all stereotypes that come along with lack of education. It is a very sad reality though and interracial marriages suffer the most in these cases. But LOVE CONQUERS ALL! So, let us all consider ourselves lucky to have gone past that ugly level! Booze, eh anyone?

[Gemmie 142]

Another instance of ignorance (not based on race)... a co-worker knows all about my fiancee being American and me moving over next year.

Yesterday he told me that they're all "dumb and fat... America is my least favourite nation." I asked if he had ever been there before and he said "why would I want to? I know all I need to based on the people over here" and gave me examples of how a couple of Americans ordered Cokes in a tea-shop. He also went on to ask what my reaction was when girls tried to hot on my fiancee. I answered that they didn't but if they did, wouldn't have a problem with it because I know he wouldn't be interested. He looked at me as though I was the most naive person in the world and asked "how do you know?" I said "because he's with me" and his response was... so?

That was the last time I spoke with him other than the end of the night when he remarked that he was riding home because he didn't want to get fat... because he "hates fat people".

I'm so relieved that I don't have to work there anymore... people like that annoy me so much.

[Kamz 0]

Game on Gemma! He does not have any right to say any of those mean things. Shame on him! Oh, that really aggravates me. Good that you let it go coz it's not even worth a dime arguing with a narrowminded and ignorant sonofag*n like him... heheheheheh... Let us just gloat shall we? Our beauties rock, BIG TIME! LOL

Another instance of ignorance (not based on race)... a co-worker knows all about my fiancee being American and me moving over next year.

Yesterday he told me that they're all "dumb and fat... America is my least favourite nation." I asked if he had ever been there before and he said "why would I want to? I know all I need to based on the people over here" and gave me examples of how a couple of Americans ordered Cokes in a tea-shop. He also went on to ask what my reaction was when girls tried to hot on my fiancee. I answered that they didn't but if they did, wouldn't have a problem with it because I know he wouldn't be interested. He looked at me as though I was the most naive person in the world and asked "how do you know?" I said "because he's with me" and his response was... so?

That was the last time I spoke with him other than the end of the night when he remarked that he was riding home because he didn't want to get fat... because he "hates fat people".

I'm so relieved that I don't have to work there anymore... people like that annoy me so much.

[Ban Hammer 12,880]

She frequently talks about how I'll scalp people, thinks that I know how to use a bow and arrow and feels that because I'm native american, I must love dances with wolves and wind talkers.

All I can do is feel sorry for her for not having a proper education.

native american? i thought it was because you are canadian!

[Wei&Shu(Joe) 2]

Yikes. Well, hopefully, when they get to know him, they'll begin to rethink their prejudices.

People who live their life based on prejudices and generalizations rarely let reality get in the way of their ideas, so I think this is an unreasonable expectation that will only lead to further disappointment. It may be more helpful to think of it in terms of other people who are unconvinced by reality.

If your relative was schizophrenic would you feel bad that they believed that all FBI agents were after them? You might feel bad for them but you wouldn't feel bad about yourself or feel guilty if you married an FBI agent. The appropriate feeling is pity or compassion for someone who lives in such a way. Guilt about not conforming to their altered reality really isn't a reasonable choice, is it? You can't convince them to look at reality any more than if they were schizophrenic. So far we have no meds for xenophobia.

We often think about the difference in cultures that many of us experience, but we also have to remember our own culture. Every day in America people are bombarded with the idea that believing something without evidence (faith) is superior to reason. Then we expect people to make the reasonable decision (all Mexicans are different people, same as Americans) rather than rely on their faith, that by supernatural means they can know all Mexicans, and pass judgment on your husband.

Your family has faith that they know all Mexicans and therefore know your husband. You will have as much chance of convincing them otherwise as you do of changing any of their other religious beliefs. If your family is religious then their mind is attuned to the idea that reality can not be trusted but what I believe (no matter how unlikely) can be relied on. In that case your pleas for them to look at reality (your husband) and question their beliefs about "Mexicans" will almost certainly fall on deaf ears.

Be happy with your husband, no matter what prejudiced people may say, even if they are related to you.

Some of the things I say frequently to such people, while trying to remain as compassionate as possible. (Of course for me it's a different ethnic group but substitute the ethnicity/numbers for your case. All of them should be followed by changing the subject, while the offender ponders what just happened)

That's an interesting idea. Thanks for sharing.

You seem very familiar with the Chinese. How long did you live there? Never? Really?!?

You seem to know " The Chinese" very well, which surprises me because you look so young and there are a few billion of them. It doesn't seem that you would have had time to meet them all. I'm impressed.

How many Chinese people do you actually know? Oh, you've been to a Chinese Restaurant! Well that certainly qualifies you as an expert!

Most important to remember is that the problem is not yours. It is your families and they can and will address it as they choose. Don't let them make it your problem.

[Tarantula 0]

It doesn't matter of what race a boyfriend is ... if he doesn't live within the range of 5 km from their house, he's not good. So no need to tell that my parents (and definately my dad) are not happy with my choice at all ...

Oh and by the way ... internet is bad m'kay!, everything American is bad m'kay! ... *rolls eyes*

Edited September 10, 2008 by Tarantula

[kaydee457 13]

Why whine to your family about your immigration situation if their unsympathetic response annoys you? They have a legit point; it's not their problem! You entered into this relationship, so deal with it.

my thoughts to you is to drop the subject around your family and you, as well as them, will revert back to life as normal.

P.S. This process is cumbersome but certainly not "hard", unless of course something's amiss.......

Edited September 10, 2008 by kaydee457

[jundp 191]

i hate mexicans..

You would say that. Racist.

I must say, my dad was not too impressed when he "discovered" Bren was American

Today they are good buddies though.

It was the red-head thing, wasn't it?

Well, here in the US they teach you to hate people. Look at all the wars with different countries during last few years and decades. You hate them and they hate you. Most of people who become ignorant and don't want to accept anything usually only listening to media without their own analysis and accept it as they tell them.

I don't really understand why you'd say something like this. I don't think hate is "taught" here. There are ignorant people...and warmongers everywhere.

She frequently talks about how I'll scalp people, thinks that I know how to use a bow and arrow

Wow. Does she think she's being funny?!

Luckily I don't have to worry about it. Though my family is quite Southern, no they aren't racist. But I have heard Nazi comments from "friends" who thought they were being funny.