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Jaylen Brit

Q&A (not PG13!)

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Jaylen Brit Experienced

Jaylen Brit   0

Posted
Filed: AOS (pnd) Country: United Kingdom
 Timeline
Posted

Don't read on if you find some humor offensive - I don't care and you were warned ;)

Q: What is the difference between a drug dealer and a hooker?

A: A hooker can wash her crack and sell it again.

Q: What's a mixed feeling?

A: When you see your mother-in-law backing off a cliff in your new

car.

Q: What's the height of conceit?

A: Having an orgasm and calling out your own name.

Q: What's the definition of macho?

A: Jogging home from your vasectomy.

Q: What's the difference between a G-Spot and a golf Ball?

A: A guy will actually search for a golf ball.

Q: Do you know how New Zealanders practice safe sex?

A: They spray paint X's on the back of the sheep that kick.

Q: Why is divorce so expensive?

A: Because it's worth it.

Q: What is a Yankee?

A: The same as a quickie, but a guy can do it alone.

Q: What do Tupperware and a walrus have in common?

A: They both like a tight seal.

Q: What do a Christmas tree and a priest have in common?

A: Their balls are just for decoration.

Q: What is the difference between "ooooooh" and "aaaaaaah"?

A: About three inches.

Q: What's the difference between purple and pink?

A: The grip.

Q: How do you find a blind man in a nudist colony?

A: It's not hard.

Q: How do you circumcise a hillbilly?

A: Kick his sister in the jaw.

Q: What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife?

A: 45 pounds.

Q: What's the difference between a boyfriend and a husband?

A: 45 minutes.

Q: Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?

A: Breasts don't have eyes.

Q: If the dove is the bird of peace, what is the bird of true love?

A: The swallow.

Q: What is the difference between medium and rare?

A: 5 inches is medium, 8 inches is rare.

Q: Why do most women pay more attention to their appearance than

Improving their minds?

A: Because most men are stupid but few are blind.

Q: Why do women rub their eyes when they get up in the morning?

A: They don't have balls to scratch.

:whistle::lol:

Applied for K1

Met online 2001 - just aquaintances

Sept 2002 - 1st US visit - everything goes perfectly.

Dec 20th - Forms recev'd at CSC

Dec 27th - NOA1 received by snail mail!

Dec 29th - 'Touched'

March 10 2006 - NOA2!

March 23 - recv'd at NVC

March 24 - petition sent to London

April 9th - Pkt 3 rec'd!

May 17th - Pkt 3 signed for at London Embassy

May 24th - Medical

May24th - Pkt 4

June 14th - Interview 10am - APPROVED 1pm!!

June 16th - Visas received in my hot little hands 1pm :)

July 19th - flying to US!

July 27th - Married!! :-)

Aug 7th - Applied for SSN in married name

Aug 9th - SSN received

uk.gif1273.gifusa.gif

3dflagsdotcom_uk_2fawm.gif3dflagsdotcom_usa_2fawm.gif

I'm not a lawyer I just have opinions on everything :)

animated flags from http://3dflags.com

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Ladylethal Grand Master

Ladylethal   12

Posted
Filed: Citizen (apr) Country: Brazil
 Timeline
Posted
:lol: :lol: :lol:

(Puerto Rico) Luis & Laura (Brazil) K1 JOURNEY
04/11/2006 - Filed I-129F.
09/29/2006 - Visa in hand!
10/15/2006 - POE San Juan
11/15/2006 - MARRIAGE
AOS JOURNEY
01/05/2007 - AOS sent to Chicago.
03/26/2007 - Green Card in hand!
REMOVAL OF CONDITIONS JOURNEY
01/26/2009 - Filed I-751.
06/22/2009 - Green Card in hand!
NATURALIZATION JOURNEY
06/26/2014 - N-400 sent to Nebraska
07/02/2014 - NOA
07/24/2014 - Biometrics
10/24/2014 - Interview (approved)

01/16/2015 - Oath Ceremony


*View Complete Timeline

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Kajikit Proficient

Kajikit   65

Posted
Filed: Citizen (apr) Country: Australia
 Timeline
Posted

lol

Karen - Melbourne, Australia/John - Florida, USA

- Proposal (20 August 2000) to marriage (19 December 2004) - 4 years, 3 months, 25 days (1,578 days)

STAGE 1 - Applying for K1 (15 September 2003) to K1 Approval (13 July 2004) - 9 months, 29 days (303 days)

STAGE 2A - Arriving in US (4 Nov 2004) to AOS Application (16 April 2005) - 5 months, 13 days (164 days)

STAGE 2B - Applying for AOS to GC Approval - 9 months, 4 days (279 days)

STAGE 3 - Lifting Conditions. Filing (19 Dec 2007) to Approval (December 11 2008)

STAGE 4 - CITIZENSHIP (filing under 5-year rule - residency start date on green card Jan 11th, 2006)

*N400 filed December 15, 2011

*Interview March 12, 2012

*Oath Ceremony March 23, 2012.

ALL DONE!!!!!!!!

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almaty Grand Master

almaty   19

Posted
Filed: Citizen (pnd) Country: Kazakhstan
 Timeline
Posted
:lol::lol::lol::lol:

Peace to All creatures great and small............................................

But when we turn to the Hebrew literature, we do not find such jokes about the donkey. Rather the animal is known for its strength and its loyalty to its master (Genesis 49:14; Numbers 22:30).

Peppi_drinking_beer.jpg

my burro, bosco ..enjoying a beer in almaty

http://www.visajourney.com/forums/index.ph...st&id=10835

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Indo_mommy Rising Star

Indo_mommy   0

Posted
Filed: Country: Indonesia
 Timeline
Posted

So funny! :lol::lol::lol:

Our K1 Journey Click Here
K1 Interview in Jakarta Click Here
AOS Journey:
May 02, 2006 :AOS Sent to Chicago...Let the couting begin
May 03, 2006 :AOS received in Chicago
May 12, 2006 :Received NOA1 dated 05/09/2006
May 22, 2006 Biometrics Notice Rcvd dated 05/17/2006
May 30, 2006 :Biometrics done in ASC Birmingham
July 01, 2006 :Interview Letter received
Aug 30, 2006 :Interview in Atlanta & got RFE for I-693A! OUCH!!!
November, 2006 :I-693A Sent. The waiting goes on...
April 4, 2007: Infopass & it doesn't help at all!!!
April 18, 2007 :Contacting our Congressman.
May 18, 2007 : E-mail rcvd, Welcome Notice Sent! Finally!!!
April 22, 2007 : E-mail rcvd, GC has been ordered
April 24, 2007 : Welcome Notice Rvcd. Yeeehaaa!!!!
June 1, 2007: GC arrived! Yippy! USCIS Free for 2 years!
2008: Moved to China
2009: Conditional GC Expired and Husband has been having affairs since 2008 in China. Can't file for ROC since he got laid off. He came to Jakarta to live with me and my parents. He got a new job. Life resume to normal or so I thought.
March 2010: Officially separated after yet more affairs exposed just a day after my birthday!

February 2011: Officially divorced.
June 18, 2011: He married the girl he had the last affair with.

August 2014: I am engaged with my real soulmate. Not an American.

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AnaAndDaniel Experienced

AnaAndDaniel   0

Posted
Filed: K-3 Visa Country: Mexico
 Timeline
Posted

B)

funny stuff!

Daniel

:energetic:

Ana (Mexico) ------ Daniel (California)(me)

---------------------------------------------

Sept. 11, 2004: Got married (civil), in Mexico :D

July 23, 2005: Church wedding

===============================

K3(I-129F):

Oct. 28, 2004: Mailed I-129F.

~USPS, First-Class, Certified Mail, Rtn Recpt ($5.80)

Nov. 3, 2004: NOA1!!!!

Nov. 5, 2004: Check Cashed!!

zzzz deep hibernationn zzzz

May 12, 2005 NOA2!!!! #######!!! huh???

off to NVC.

May 26, 2005: NVC approves I129F.

CR1(I-130):

Oct. 6, 2004: Mailed I-130.

~USPS, First-Class, Certified Mail, Rtn Recpt ($5.80)

Oct. 8, 2004: I-130 Delivered to CSC in Laguna Niguel.

~Per USPS website's tracking tool.

Oct. 12, 2004 BCIS-CSC Signs for I-130 packet.

Oct. 21, 2004 Check cashed!

Oct. 25, 2004 NOA1 (I-130) Go CSC!!

Jan. 05, 2005 Approved!!!! Off to NVC!!!!

===============================

NVC:

Jan. 05, 2005 ---> in route from CSC

Jan. 12, 2005 Case entered system

Jan. 29, 2005 Received I-864 Bill

Jan. 31, 2005 Sent Payment to St. Louis(I864)

Feb. 01, 2005 Wife received DS3032(Choice of Agent)

Feb. 05, 2005 Payment Received in St. Louis(I864)

Feb. 08, 2005 Sent DS3032 to Portsmouth NH

Feb. 12, 2005 DS3032 Received by NVC

Mar. 04, 2005 Received IV Bill

Mar. 04, 2005 Sent IV Bill Payment

Mar. 08, 2005 Received I864

Mar. 19, 2005 Sent I864

Mar. 21, 2005 I864 Received my NVC

Apr. 18, 2005 Received DS230

Apr. 19, 2005 Sent DS230

Apr. 20, 2005 DS230 received by NVC (signed by S Merfeld)

Apr. 22, 2005 DS230 entered NVC system

Apr. 27, 2005 CASE COMPLETE

May 10, 2005 CASE SENT TO JUAREZ

Off to Cd. Juarez! :D

calls to NVC: 6

===============================

CIUDAD JUAREZ, American Consulate:

Apr. 27, 2005 case completed at NVC.

May 10, 2005 in route to Juarez.

May 25, 2005 Case at consulate.

===============================

-- Legal Disclaimer:What I say is only a reflection of what I did, going to do, or may do; it may also reflect what I have read others did, are going to do, or may do. What you do or may do is what you do or may do. You do so or may do so strictly out of your on voilition; or follow what a lawyer advised you to do, or may do. Having said that: have a nice day!

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Fandango Grand Master

Fandango   1,439

Posted
Filed: Timeline
Posted
Don't read on if you find some humor offensive - I don't care and you were warned ;)

Q: What is the difference between a drug dealer and a hooker?

A: A hooker can wash her crack and sell it again.

I LITERALLY JUST BUSTED OUT LAUGHING WHILE AT WORK!!!!

:lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol:

pmsl on that one Jay...bravo!

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