FOR WOMEN ONLY

[brnidokiegurl 0]

This is an actual letter from an Austin woman sent to

American company

> Proctor and Gamble regarding their feminine products.

She really gets

> rolling after the first paragraph. It's PC Magazine's

2007 editors' choice

> for best webmail-award-winning letter.

>

>

> Dear Mr. Thatcher,

>

> I have been a loyal user of your 'Always' maxi pads

for over 20 years and I

> appreciate many of their features. Why, without the

LeakGuard Core or

> Dri-Weave absorbency, I'd probably never go horseback

riding or salsa

> dancing, and I'd certainly steer clear of running up

and down the beach in

> tight, white shorts. But my favorite feature has to be

your revolutionary

> Flexi-Wings. Kudos on being the only company smart

enough to realize how

> crucial it is that maxi pads be aerodynamic. I can't

tell you how safe and

> secure I feel each month knowing there's a little F-16

in my pants.

>

> Have you ever had a menstrual period, Mr. Thatcher?

I'm guessing you

> haven't. Well, my time of the month is starting right

now. As I type, I can

> already feel hormonal forces violently surging through

my body. Just a few

> minutes from now, my body will adjust and I'll be

transformed into what my

> husband likes to call 'an inbred hillbilly with knife

skills.' Isn't the

> human body amazing?

>

> As Brand Manager in the Feminine-Hygiene Division,

you've no doubt seen

> quite a bit of research on what exactly happens during

your customer's

> monthly visits from 'Aunt Flo'. Therefore, you must

know about the

> bloating, puffiness, and cramping we endure, and about

our intense mood

> swings, crying jags, and out-of-control behavior. You

surely realize it's a

> tough time for most women.

>

> The point is, sir, you of all pe ople must realize

that America is just

> crawling with homicidal maniacs in Capri pants...

Which brings me to the

> reason for my letter. Last month, while in the throes

of cramping so

> painful I wanted to reach inside my body and yank out

my uterus, I opened

> an Always maxi-pad, and there, printed on the adhesive

backing, were these

> words: 'Have a Happy Period.'

>

> Are you f------ kidding me? What I mean is, does any

part of your tiny

> middle-manager brain really think happiness - actual

smiling, laughing

> happiness, is possible during a menstrual period? Did

anything mentioned

> above sound the least bit pleasurable? Well, did it,

James? FYI, unless

> you're some kind of sick S&M freak, there will never

be anything 'happy'

> about a day in which you have to jack yourself up on

Motrin and Kahlua and

> lock yourself in your house just so you don't march

down to the local

> Walgreen's arm ed with a hunting rifle and a sketchy

plan to end your life

> in a blaze of glory.

>

> For the love of God, pull your head out, man! If you

have to slap a moronic

> message on a maxi pad, wouldn't it make more sense to

say something that's

> actually pertinent, like 'Put down the Hammer' or

'Vehicular Manslaughter

> is Wrong',

>

> Sir, please inform your Accounting Department that,

effective immediately,

> there will be an $8 drop in monthly profits, for I

have chosen to take my

> maxi-pad business elsewhere. And though I will

certainly miss your

> Flex-Wings, I will not for one minute miss your brand

of condescending

> bullshit. And that's a promise I will keep.

>

> Always. .

>

> Best,

> Wendi Aarons

> Austin , TX

[nane1104 146]

That's a classic! But I always enjoy reading it. Sooo true!

[Ban Hammer 12,857]

I can't tell you how safe and secure I feel each month knowing there's a little F-16 in my pants.

woooo fly that plane girl!

[Empress of Groovy 373]

Glorious relief that I wasn't knocked up led to many happy periods. Not without terrible discomfort, but damn, was I relieved when it showed up. Something tells me that's not what menstrual products marketing people had in mind, tho...

[terrie/kamal 0]

[LoriLawless 0]

[brnidokiegurl 0]

charles - keep out

[Dr. A ♥ O 203]

Awesome!

[pedroh 21]

ROFLMAO

[Pinocchio Liberal 268]

F-16 in her pants? I thought it was called a cotton pony neyyyyyyy neyyyyyyyy.

[brnidokiegurl 0]

F-16 have wings, you to OUT...

[pedroh 21]

lol @ wings..

[Dr. A ♥ O 203]

I like this telling the men to get out. It's like being in the girls bathroom!

[brnidokiegurl 0]

but if you notice anytime you say girls only the men just flock to it,

[Zee Bee 61]

Thanks for sharing...made my day