this is for girls with an american fiance

[Caladan 19]

Also, the idea that American women are jealous of men who have foreign brides is patently ridiculous. Newsflash, guys. You're not that hot of a commodity that we can feel your hotness radiating over the Internet. Seriously. We don't want to marry you.

(The fact that there are plenty of American couples in traditional marriages we will leave as a topic for another time.)

[panamania79 2]

So I guess kid brooklyn's mother is a pain in the a$$....

Yes.Most likely.

[Caladan 19]

Ah the age old generalizing chauvinist vs. individual American female argument.

It's just so much easier to blame half a country for the fact that you couldn't get laid there than deal with the idea that American women might be (gasp!) differing people!

And when their international marriage breaks up, it'll be the fault of the entire culture of whatever country the lady is from, or because she 'Americanized.'

Never mind that there's plenty of traditional marriages in the U.S. between American couples.

[DeadPoolX 9]

Also, the idea that American women are jealous of men who have foreign brides is patently ridiculous. Newsflash, guys. You're not that hot of a commodity that we can feel your hotness radiating over the Internet. Seriously. We don't want to marry you.

(The fact that there are plenty of American couples in traditional marriages we will leave as a topic for another time.)

I've had more than my fair share of encounters with American women -- some bad; some good -- but now that I'm married to a Canadian woman, I'd really have to ask: why would any American woman really care? At best I'd be "off-limits" (as my wife likes to say) and at worst, the majority of American women probably wouldn't even know who I am.

Perhaps one reason the whole "American women are jealous of American men looking at foreign women" idea tend to remain "valid" among some people is because women make up about 52% of the population in the United States. So men have a numerical advantage here, supposedly giving them an easier time dating and finding women. The opposite would be true for women. Therefore, if American men are looking overseas for their brides and not domestically, that cuts off even more potential mates.

Just for the record, I don't really believe in the above theory. I don't think it matters to most American women. I'm sure the average American woman doesn't give much thought to foreigners (and the men who may marry them). Maybe that's sad in some way, but probably true. All in all, I doubt there's very much jealousy going on regarding this issue -- unless, of course, a foreign woman "stole" a guy from an American woman, but that could easily work in reverse too.

[Eric-Pris 1,602]

I hope for your sake,your Tica never becomes Americanized.

I'm sure she will to a point, that's inevitable. And we'll adjust to that when it happens.

btw, have any men responded to this? It sounds like it's all women (mostly American I think).

Edited March 1, 2008 by kid brooklyn

[Kiv 32]

To the OP: there's a huge American stereotype that foreign women use American men for greencards. Your fiance's family is concerned about him because this is a little bit strange for them. Most of this will be overcome with time and patience. Stereotypes tend not to stand up to reality for very long.

I agree to this 100%

To the OP, If your case is like mine, you are in love and it may be so exciting to move to another country all in the name of love and the dream of a beautiful family. I had these comments from some persons too. I felt hurt for a couple of days thinking they did'nt even give me the benefit of the doubt.

I decided that I am not better or worst than anybody else, and just tryed to stay away from the people who made me feel unomfortable. I love my husband much more than when I arrived to this country and all the friends and fmily in doubt accepted it, some faster than others.

When people like to judge others they will always find a reason, (she is getting married for money, GC, etc). You don't have to waste energy trying to convince them, just live your life.

[EKO1 0]

btw, have any men responded to this? It sounds like it's all women (mostly American I think).

KB,

You should know, Arguing with an American woman is like wrestling a pig in the mud. After a while you figure out that the pig likes it.

And a man's intelligence is inversely proportional to the time that it takes him to figure it out.

[Trompe le Monde 1,107]

It might be interesting to note that not all the women calling out the BS are American

[EKO1 0]

It might be interesting to note that not all the women calling out the BS are American

I didn't wat to make all women mad at me.

[DeadPoolX 9]

I hope for your sake,your Tica never becomes Americanized.

I'm sure she will to a point, that's inevitable. And we'll adjust to that when it happens.

btw, have any men responded to this? It sounds like it's all women (mostly American I think).

Well, if you would actually READ my posts, then I suppose you'd already know that I'm an American man. But thanks for playing, anyway.

Edited March 1, 2008 by DeadPoolX

[Eric-Pris 1,602]

"men are at a disadvantage when we argue with women, we actually are trying to make sense"

actually READ my posts, then I suppose you'd already know that I'm an American man. But thanks for playing, anyway.

Sorry, from your writing, I probably just figured you were a woman.

Edited March 1, 2008 by kid brooklyn

[Trompe le Monde 1,107]

someone obviously can't handle opposing viewpoints very well

[Rail 0]

lets further that thought...so if both american women and men are power hungry, then how is it possible for american women and foreign men to be in successful couples? is your thinking that all americans are power hungry and that all people from other countries are submissive??? because that just does not make sense

The fact is that American men are very power hungry (large house, fast car, high position, etc). That's why the divorce rate is so high here, because men and women both want to be the dominant one, so it doesn't often work out. Many American women must always be right and have the last word. They often want to make most of the decisions. Yes, many foreign women are more submissive, and that appeals to American men. That doesn't mean that they are doormats or slaves, but they are raised in a more traditional way. I'm sure somebody will give the "We're equals..." rhetoric, but that only exists in theory.

I read a statistic about Latinos and Americans marriages. I'm not implying this applies to other cultures, strictly Latinos and Americans. The divorce rate for American women & Latino men is like 80% while American men and Latina women are only 20%. Latinos are a very machismo culture. The men are dominant and consider themselves the head of the household when it comes to decisions, finances, etc. Many American women who marry Latinos just can't accept that. And Latino men will not put up with them either. Conversely, Latina women are more submissive by nature, so they are a better match for the typical power-hungry American man.

Not all Americans are power-hungry and not all foreigners are submissive. That's why there are successful relationships with foreigners for both men and women.

I never meant for it to sound like I was power hungry. I just want a marriage where the female acts more female and not male. I am not dominating but also I dont like a dominating woman. There are too many women in the U.S. that are spoiled to getting their way 90% of the time and that sucks. I wanted a woman that was as ageeable as I am not disageeable and trying to control the marriage. If anyone doesnt thinks that is not widespread in this country they are wrong. OK, I'm through.

[Rail 0]

Ah the age old generalizing chauvinist vs. individual American female argument.

It's just so much easier to blame half a country for the fact that you couldn't get laid there than deal with the idea that American women might be (gasp!) differing people!

And when their international marriage breaks up, it'll be the fault of the entire culture of whatever country the lady is from, or because she 'Americanized.'

Never mind that there's plenty of traditional marriages in the U.S. between American couples.

The divorce rate is now 60% in The U.S.

[workin4somethin 0]

Girls,I need to vent now!

If any of you have had a similar situation, please share!

I'm talking about how we get judged by people who don't really know us, but have the feeling we're hunting.

I spent a hole summer with my fiance and i got really close to some of his friends and his family really likes me, but there is people who are trying to make him think that getting married to me is a mistake. He don't give a s.....t on all those"advisers", but that is pissing me off.

And i wonder is it a hole life i'm going to be disrespected by b...ches who are going to think i'm week for not having attitude with my husbend,i'm week if i'm not acting like a b...ch?

have you been disrespected like this ever? How do you handle.

I mean, as long as i don't meet these certain persons i'm cool, but it's enough to remember about them and i get all irritated.

That's not fare.

I'm sorry. But why even give a ####### about what other people think?!