Please Help-My Cousin married a U.S. Citizen. She came to U.S. to a Nightmare

[tito 1]

No, nobody from South America.

The situation I'm referring to is one where the presence of the immigrant is not one of 3 years, where they establish a life here...I'm talking about shorter term situations, like the one in this thread...where the poster said the immigrant was here a month, with full knowledge of the character of the spouse (that she may or may not have ignored simply with the intention of getting to the US no matter the price she might pay). Here, she had a green card, so she's here and that's it.

You say that it would be difficult for the immigrant to secure passage home. Well, if they can't do that, how are they going to pay for their medical expenses, food, transportation, housing or, heaven forbid, they get a car and injure someone else and have no insurance? If they are able to stick around and assume those expenses and risks, then they can sure as heck afford a flight home, no matter WHERE they are. Why should US taxpayers have to pay for these types of follies, where the immigrant can't afford a flight home, but incurs expenses and assumes risks in the US? THIS IS THE ISSUE I HAVE! Bona fide intentions or not, the immigrant, AND the USC, take a risk. But that risk should not, then, be foist upon society in general, which takes us back to the declaration of support discussion.

Things don't work out? Consider as a threshold question going back home. That was my statement in my first post in this thread, and the sentiment has not wavered. It's an option.

Edited February 10, 2008 by tito

[tito 1]

"The regulation, itself, imposes appropriate onus upon the alien to demonstrate his or her privilege to remain. That's how I see it is and how it should continue to be. And by the way, I've seen many instances where individuals have announced their intentions to fabricate a claim of abuse in order to try to remain, only to find that in order to prevail requires significant substantive evidence. Evidence that is not so easy to gather ex facto, and evidence that is much beyond a simple affidavit. "

That's the way it should be, too. Regarding the evidence...it really doesn't take that much, and the immigrant is afforded quite a bit of latitude when it comes to making the claim that would afford them the right to self-apply. As I understand, the process often involves deportation proceedings, and the claim of abuse is used as a defense. That gives the immigrant a little bit of leverage, and the immigration courts are fairly lenient given the fact that the immigrant might not know his or her rights, that they needed this or that to present to the court...so it's not that difficult a burden.

[diadromous mermaid 36]

"The regulation, itself, imposes appropriate onus upon the alien to demonstrate his or her privilege to remain. That's how I see it is and how it should continue to be. And by the way, I've seen many instances where individuals have announced their intentions to fabricate a claim of abuse in order to try to remain, only to find that in order to prevail requires significant substantive evidence. Evidence that is not so easy to gather ex facto, and evidence that is much beyond a simple affidavit. "

That's the way it should be, too. Regarding the evidence...it really doesn't take that much, and the immigrant is afforded quite a bit of latitude when it comes to making the claim that would afford them the right to self-apply. As I understand, the process often involves deportation proceedings, and the claim of abuse is used as a defense. That gives the immigrant a little bit of leverage, and the immigration courts are fairly lenient given the fact that the immigrant might not know his or her rights, that they needed this or that to present to the court...so it's not that difficult a burden.

Are you speaking from facts, or once again an impression you have? The process of attempting to adjust status and remaining in the USA as a self-petitioner who has not yet received a green card is a long and drawn out process. In fact, it can take years. The evidentiary requirements exceed a claim. They require proof.

[diadromous mermaid 36]

The situation I'm referring to is one where the presence of the immigrant is not one of 3 years, where they establish a life here...I'm talking about shorter term situations, like the one in this thread...where the poster said the immigrant was here a month....

In the instant case, the alien may only have been here a month, but had been married for a full 2 years prior to activiting the visa and status being conferred. I see it not as the time spent here in the USA, and of becoming familiar and settled in this country, but rather of time invested in a relationship, with natural expectations and history. Two plus years of marriage (I'll accept that there are indications that the alien may have known of the USC's proclivity, notwithstanding) is not a month, as you are implying.

[j4k 0]

Social Security does not hand out benefits for Fake Disabilities.

if you actually believe that, you're living in egypt... there are too many who abuse the system.

[truffles 2]

I am unsure if the person concerned entered as a K1 or K3 or other....however in view of the fact her now husband had such a bad criminal record would he not have had to declare this on his application?

As for being returning to home country - i agree that i would not be able to return to my home country exactly as i left it...but i am afraid thats the risk i take as one door closes another one opens ....actions and consequences ....i would however still have my friends and family and they would help me with immediate problems such as housing temperarily ...thats why i invested more time in the relationship before committing ... to make sure what i was seeing wasnt just someone on his best behaviour for a one off time - especially important if you have peole who care for you asking you to reconsider. Whats that saying...marry in haste repent at leisure.

You are dealing with an adult - it seems she was given loads of relevant guidance - but chose to marry this man...so it is everyone elses fault she has poor judgement? Sounds like she may well be safer in her home country if this man is as unbalanced as he seems.

I certainly do not condone violence - and she certainly must receive immediate refuge and safe haven from this man ...but ultimately wether she should stay or go....?

I know there are some who will flame me for this ...and so be it....i would remind everyone though - this is a forum and we live in a democracy which supports the rights to free speech - regardless if it falls in or out with your own view or not.

[archie07 0]

Social Security does not hand out benefits for Fake Disabilities.

if you actually believe that, you're living in egypt... there are too many who abuse the system.

Extensive documentation of the disability sometimes still will result in a denial of benefits. I've been in court for disability claims. A lawyer will not represent a client with a fake injury and a judge won't award a claim. Apparently, someone has misinformed you and the op as to how the social security disability system awards benefits to disabled people since you both believe a disability can be faked. A back disability would require x-rays, ct scans, Mri,s before that person had any chance of collecting a benefit.

[N400-2011 24]

I am at (almost) a complete loss of words at how this thread is going. It is clear that some persons have their perceptions mixed up because of (maybe) personal history. All I can say is that in my experience, life is not always filled with simple choices or decisions. I have had a rough go at it, but I am still standing.

To the OP: Good luck to your cousin. Her first priority is her safety!

Edited February 11, 2008 by Vawa-2006

[Donna A 4]

actually she might not have anything to go back to but does she really have anything here either except her cousin? me personally i would want to go back to my family instead of staying where i might be beat on til death.

[Ban Hammer 14,573]

How did this guy get past IMBRA with a criminal record that long? Have none of his convictions been for abuse?

I have said the same thing on many occasions. I guess they let this one slip through the cracks. I am sure that with the thousands of cases they deal with that they all arent looked at as close as they should be.

so you're saying that the person checking on his criminal record were incompetent? This is an interesting issue.

it could well be he filed prior to imbra taking effect.

[mikeandlani 0]

How did this guy get past IMBRA with a criminal record that long? Have none of his convictions been for abuse?

I have said the same thing on many occasions. I guess they let this one slip through the cracks. I am sure that with the thousands of cases they deal with that they all arent looked at as close as they should be.

so you're saying that the person checking on his criminal record were incompetent? This is an interesting issue.

it could well be he filed prior to imbra taking effect.

...or imbra doesnt apply since they filed for CR1?

to the OP i hope your cousin gets out of that abusive environment soon enough. worry about her immigrant options later, life is far more precious than any piece of paper...Goodluck!

[panamania79 2]

How did this guy get past IMBRA with a criminal record that long? Have none of his convictions been for abuse?

This is what baffles me also.How was he able to sponsor someone with that kind of track-record ?

[AnneiyAndJacky 0]

what a lucky #######! he was able to petition his wife eventhough he has been divorced 4 times and had previous criminal records, and getting only SSI? How could the embassy didnt do something do about it?!.. and now this is how he treats his wife in the U.S?!

Edited February 14, 2008 by AnneiyAndJacky

[lynny 0]

If this person is in so much danger, why have you not kept her at your house (when she has been visiting) and called the police.

You have told us yourself that she is in danger but you are not doing anything to help her,

[franklie 0]

To the OP.

If your wife's cousin truly believes that she is in danger due to either physical, mental or verbal abuse IMMEDIATELY have her remove herself from the situation. If necessary man up and go with her and your wife and file a complaint at the local police station. After the complaint has been filed, apply at the Superior court for a civil protection order for you and your wife and her cousin. If your wife's cousin cannot stay at your house get her into a battered women's shelter. Under your county's social services you should be able to locate the number for the local shelter.

Waste no time getting your wife's cousin out of danger. Abusers normally escalate the abuse over time.

Everything else that has been said on this thread ignore for now. The most important thing is removing your wife's cousin from the danger.

As one who has been in a similar situation, I can say that it is EXTREMELY difficult to leave an abusive relationship. The abuse has a tendency to numb the mind, and destroy the self-esteem. One tortures oneself through fear of leaving and fear of future abuse. It is only with time after leaving the abuse that one can look back with a rational mind and see the situation as it truly was and can only then be in agreement with many of the posts in this thread.

The best of luck to your wife's cousin and don't beat yourself up over the woulda, shoulda, could ofs.