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101 Fun Ways to Order Pizza


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Filed: K-1 Visa Country: United Kingdom

Ask if you can get a pizza with just crust, no toppings.

Call a delivery-only pizza store and insist on "dining in."

Using a touch-tone, press random numbers while ordering. Ask the person taking the order to stop doing that.

Make up a credit card name. Ask if they accept it. Cheer if they say yes.

Use CB lingo where applicable.

Order a Big Mac Extra Value Meal.

Terminate the call with, "Remember, we never had this conversation."

Tell the order taker a rival pizza place is on the other line and you're going with the lowest bidder.

Give them your address, exclaim "Oh, just surprise me!" and hang up.

Answer their questions with questions.

Use these bonus words in the conversation: ROBUST FREE-SPIRITED COST-EFFICIENT UKRAINIAN PUCE.

Tell them to put the crust on top this time.

Sing the order to the tune of your favorite song from any Metallica CD.

Don't name the toppings you want - spell them out.

Put an extra edge in your voice when you say "crazy bread."

Stutter on the letter "p."

Ask for a deal available somewhere else. (e.g. Order "The Edge" from Little Caesar's or a "Cheeser! Cheeser!" from Domino's)

Ask what the order taker is wearing.

Crack your knuckles into the receiver.

Say hello, act stunned for five seconds, then behave as if they called you.

Rattle off your order with a determined air. If they ask if you would like drinks with that, panic and become disoriented.

Tell the order taker you're depressed. Get him/her to cheer you up.

Make a list of exotic cuisines. Order them as toppings.

Change your accent every three seconds.

Order 52 pepperoni slices prepared in a fractal pattern as follows from an equation you are about to dictate. Ask if they need paper.

Act like you know the order taker from somewhere. Say "Bed-Wetters' Camp, right?"

Start your order with "I'd like...". A little later, slap yourself and say "No, I don't."

If they repeat the order to make sure they have it right, say "OK. That'll be $10.99 please pull up to the first window."

Try to rent a pizza.

Order while using an electric knife sharpener.

Ask if you get to keep the pizza box. When they say yes, heave a sigh of relief.

Put the accent on the last syllable of "pepperoni." Use the long "i" sound.

Have your pizza "shaken, not stirred."

Say "Are you sure this is (Pizza Place)? When they say yes, say "Well, so is this! You've got some explaining to do!" When they finally offer proof that it is, in fact, (Pizza Place), start to cry and ask, "Do you know what it's like to be lied to?"

Move the mouthpiece farther and further from your lips as you speak. When the call ends, jerk the mouthpiece back into place and scream goodbye at the top of your lungs.

Tell them to double-check to make sure your pizza is, in fact, dead.

Imitate the order taker's voice.

Eliminate verbs from your speech.

When they say "What would you like?" say, "Huh? Oh, you mean now."

Play a sitar in the background.

Say it's your anniversary and you'd appreciate if the deliverer hid behind some furniture waiting for your spouse to arrive so you can surprise him/her.

Amuse the order taker with little-known facts about country music.

Ask to see a menu.

Quote Gandhi.

Say you'll be able to pay for this when the movie people call back.

Ask if they have any idea what is at stake with this pizza.

Ask what topping goes best with well-aged Chardonnay.

Belch directly into the mouthpiece then tell your dog it should be ashamed.

Order a slice, not a whole pizza.

Shout "I'm through with men/women! Send me a dozen of your best, Gaston!"

Doze off in the middle of the order, catch yourself, and say "Where was I? Who are you?"

Psychoanalyze the order taker.

Ask what their phone number is. Hang up, call them, and ask again.

Order two toppings, then say, "No, they'll start fighting."

Learn to properly pronounce the ingredients of a Twinkie. Ask that these be included in the pizza.

Call to complain about service. Later, call to say you were drunk and didn't mean it.

Tell the order taker to tell the manager to tell his supervisor he's fired.

Report a petty theft to the order taker.

Use expletives like "Great Caesar's Ghost!" and "Great Scott!"

Ask for the guy who took your order last time.

If he/she suggests anything, adamantly declare, "I shall not be swayed by your sweet words."

Wonder aloud if you should trim those nose hairs.

Try to talk while drinking something. Gargle.

Start the call with "My Call to (Pizza Place), Take 1, and...action!"

Ask if the pizza is organically grown.

Ask about pizza maintenance and repair.

Be vague with your order.

When they repeat your order, say "Again, with a little more OOMPH this time."

Using a touch-tone phone, press 9-1-1 every 5 seconds throughout the order.

After ordering, say "I wonder what THIS button on the phone does." Simulate a hangup.

Start the conversation by reciting today's date and saying, "This may be my last entry."

State your order and say that's as far as this relationship is going to get.

Ask if they're familiar with the term "spanking a pizza." Make up a description to go with the term. Ask that this be done to your pizza.

Say "Kssssssssssssssht" rather loudly into the phone. Ask if they felt that.

Detect the order taker's psychic aura. Use it to your advantage.

When listing toppings you want on your pizza, include another pizza.

Learn to play a blues riff on the harmonica. Stop talking at regular intervals to play it.

Ask if they would like to sample your pizza. Suggest an even trade.

Perfect a celebrity's voice. Stress that you won't take any ####### from some two-bit can't-hack-it pimple-faced gofer. Threaten to hit said gofer with a golf club.

Put them on hold.

Teach the order taker a secret code. Use the code on all subsequent orders.

Mumble, "There's a bomb under your seat." When asked to repeat that, say "I said 'sauce smothered with meat'."

Make the first topping you order mushrooms. Make the last thing you say "No mushrooms, please." Hang up before they have a chance to respond.

When the order is repeated, change it slightly. When it is repeated again, change it again. On the third time, say "You just don't get it, do you?"

When you're given the price, say "Ooooooo, that sounds complicated. I hate math."


Order a one-inch pizza.

Order term life insurance.

When they say "Will that be all?" snicker and say "We'll find out, won't we?"

Order with a Speak-n-Spell.

Ask how many dolphins were killed to make that pizza.

While on the phone, fake your voice changing. Fluctuate pitch often. Act embarrassed.

Engage in some serious swapping.

Dance all around the word "pizza." Avoid saying it at all costs. If he/she says it, say "Please don't mention that word."

Have a movie with a good car chase scene playing loudly in the background. Yell "OW!" when a bullet is fired.

If he/she suggests a side order, ask why he/she is punishing you.

Ask if the pizza has had its shots.

Order a steamed pizza.

Get taker's name. Later, call exactly on the hour to say, "This is your (time of day) wake-up call, So-and-so." Hang up. Repeat every hour.

Offer to pay for the pizza with a public flogging.

If any of the above practices are rejected by the order taker, say, in your best pouty voice, "The last guy let me do it."

03-21-06 Mailed I-129 F application to TSC

03-29-06 NOA1 from CSC

04-01-06 Touched

04-28-06 Touched

05-01-06 Touched



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wow...i did not know there were so many ways..someone who thought all this up..has way to much time on their hands

Peace to All creatures great and small............................................

But when we turn to the Hebrew literature, we do not find such jokes about the donkey. Rather the animal is known for its strength and its loyalty to its master (Genesis 49:14; Numbers 22:30).


my burro, bosco ..enjoying a beer in almaty


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Filed: IR-1/CR-1 Visa Country: England

wow.. i got this today too and almost posted but thought it was too long lol


Crash (UK) and Cari (NYC) Two lives, two hearts joined together in friendship united forever in LOVE



8/8/05 - sent I-130 to Vermont

8/18/05 received NOA!!

9/9/05 I-130 APPROVED!!

2/13/06 CASE COMPLETE per NVC - got letter on 2/25/06

3/28/06 - INTERVIEW SCHEDULED FOR 5/2/06 @ 10:30 A.M.

Medical scheduled for 4/10/06 - everything went great!!


5/20/06 - Crash came home to NY for good!!



3/24/08 sent in petition to VSC

3/25/08 FedEx confirmed-package received

3/28/08 check cleared bank

3/31/08 received NOA1-extension (dated 3/25/08)!!

4/7/08 received NOA2-biometrics appt (dated 4/3/08)!

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i agree..thanks Pretty Girls..

Peace to All creatures great and small............................................

But when we turn to the Hebrew literature, we do not find such jokes about the donkey. Rather the animal is known for its strength and its loyalty to its master (Genesis 49:14; Numbers 22:30).


my burro, bosco ..enjoying a beer in almaty


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Filed: AOS (apr) Country: Thailand

09/05/2005 Met Tik thru my brothers Thai Wife

12/01/2005 First meeting in Thailand

12/12/2005 Returned to the USA

12/13/2005 I-129F mailed express mail to TSC

12/15/2005 TSC Recived paperwork

12/21/2005 Noa-1

12/27/2005 Noa-1 recieved snail mail dated Dec 21 transfered to CSC

03/14/2006 NOA 2

03/16/2006 Medical, Police report and postal fee paid.

03/21/2006 NVC Sent to Bangkok

03/24/2006 Bangkok gets package tracked online with DHL

03/27/2006 Mailed in packet 3

04/04/2006 Interview assigned May 22 2006

05/22/2006 Interview day... delayed Approval because of FBI NAME CHECK

05/26/2006 VISA RECIEVED!!!!!!!!!!

05/27/2006 POE LAX ..MY BABY IN AMERICA!!!!

06/17/2006 Wedding DAY!!!!!!!!!!!! MARRIED!!!

06/19/2006 Applied for ssn

06/26/2006 Recieved SSN


08/03/2006 Sent AOS paperwork to Chicago lockbox

08/07/2006 Recived at Chicago

08/15/2006 NOA for 485 and 131

08/30/2006 Biometrics

08/30/2006 Notice Transfered to CSC.. Hello My old CSC Friends

9/26/06 Received Welcome Notice email

09/30/06 Green Card IN HAND

01/08/07 Pregnant !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

09/26/07 Baby Here!!!!!


( ='.'= )


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Filed: Citizen (apr) Country: Brazil

lol that remind me that time i ordered a pizza and then i decided i didn't want it anymore, and i was talking to Charles on yim and i told him blah i'm not hungry anymore i'll ''disorder'' that pizza. He gave me a hard time for weeks :lol: :lol:

* K1 Timeline *
* 04/07/06: I-129F Sent to NSC
* 10/02/06: Interview date - APPROVED!
* 10/10/06: POE Houston
* 11/25/06: Wedding day!!!

* AOS/EAD/AP Timeline *
*01/05/07: AOS/EAD/AP sent
*02/19/08: AOS approved
*02/27/08: Permanent Resident Card received

* LOC Timeline *
*12/31/09: Applied Lifting of Condition
*01/04/10: NOA
*02/12/10: Biometrics
*03/03/10: LOC approved
*03/11/10: 10 years green card received

* Naturalization Timeline *
*12/17/10: package sent
*12/29/10: NOA date
*01/19/11: biometrics
*04/12/11: interview
*04/15/11: approval letter
*05/13/11: Oath Ceremony - Officially done with Immigration.

Complete Timeline

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Filed: Citizen (apr) Country: Thailand
wow...i did not know there were so many ways..someone who thought all this up..has way to much time on their hands

amen brother dean! :thumbs:

K-1 Timeline

11-29-05: Mailed I-129F Petition to CSC

12-06-05: NOA1

03-02-06: NOA2

03-23-06: Interview Date May 16

05-17-06: K-1 Visa Issued

05-20-06: Arrived at POE, Honolulu

07-17-06: Married

AOS Timeline

08-14-06: Mailed I-485 to Chicago

08-24-06: NOA for I-485

09-08-06: Biometrics Appointment

09-25-06: I-485 transferred to CSC

09-28-06: I-485 received at CSC

10-18-06: AOS Approved

10-21-06: Approval notice mailed

10-23-06: Received "Welcome Letter"

10-27-06: Received 2 yr Green Card

I-751 Timeline

07-21-08: Mailed I-751 to VSC

07-25-08: NOA for I-751

08-27-08: Biometrics Appointment

02-25-09: I-751 transferred to CSC

04-17-09: I-751 Approved

06-22-09: Received 10 yr Green Card

N-400 Timeline

07-20-09: Mailed N-400 to Lewisville, TX

07-23-09: NOA for N-400

08-14-09: Biometrics Appointment

09-08-09: Interview Date Oct 07

10-30-09: Oath Ceremony

11-20-09: Received Passport!!!

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