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Do couples give up too quickly?

Separation  

120 members have voted

  1. 1. In your opinion, do couples give up too quickly?

    • Yes
      70
    • No
      9
    • I couldn't tell ya
      26
    • Who cares about other couples?
      15


62 posts in this topic

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Filed: Citizen (apr) Country: Brazil
Timeline

I know two women who were having troubles with their husbands and are now separated. Neither one was married more than 5 years. It seems to me that they just gave up...

Do people still fight to stay married?


11/2004 - Met in Brazil

09/2006 - Apply for K1

03/2007 - K1 approved

04/2007 - Apply for AOS & EAD

07/2007 - EAD approved

01/2008 - Conditional Residency approved

11/2009 - Apply to remove conditions

02/2010 - Permanent Residency approved

11/2010 - Apply for Citizenship

03/2011 - Citizenship approved

07/2011 - Moved back to Brazil

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Filed: K-1 Visa Country: Germany
Timeline
I know two women who were having troubles with their husbands and are now separated. Neither one was married more than 5 years. It seems to me that they just gave up...

Do people still fight to stay married?

I often ask others who want to walk away from their significant other...."have you done all you can do to save this relationship, before you walk away?" Most respond by saying they are tired or they give up.

I guess it has to be determine how much they really value their marriage, if they are they are willing to stay for better or worse.


7/20/05 - Visa received in the mail

9/13/05 - Arrival to Texas FINALLY!!!

12/2/05 - Wedding

1/25/06 - AOS/EAD sent

1/26/06 - AOS/EAD received at USCIS

02/4/06 - NOA received for EAD

02/6/06 - NOA received for AOS

02/7/06 - ASC appt notice rcv'd

03/2/06 - Biometrics appt.

05/15/06 - AOS Approval (stamp in passport)

05/23/06 - Received Welcome letter

05/26/06 - Green Card arrived in mail yaaaahhooooo

08/10/06 - Hubby 1st job in US

05/15/08 - ??? what next

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Filed: K-1 Visa Country: Russia
Timeline

In today's instant gratification society, people treat S/Os like channels on the television. (click) We need a whole lot more commitment. I would fight for my relationship, any day, over giving up. Of course, there are breaking points, but the reasons some people break up are paltry.


Jeffery AND Alla.

0 kilometers physically separates us!

K-1 Visa Granted... Wednesday, 21 May 2008

Alla ARRIVED to America... Wednesday, 12 November 2008

russia_a.gif Алла и Джеффри USA_a.gif

AllaAndJeffery.PNG

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Filed: Country: United Kingdom
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In today's society it is easier to walk away than it was, say, 20/30/40/50 plus years ago. There isn't the stigma of being divorced, nor do all religions condemn you if you are. So, I think that when people find themselves in a relationship going nowhere they can just divorce whereas they would have had to stay in previous years.

I do think that some people do give up too easily; they expect marriage to be a bed of roses when it is actually hard work most of the time. For them it is easier to divorce than make an effort.

Edited by Mags

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Filed: AOS (apr) Country: Russia
Timeline

Every relationship gets tested. And there will be days when everyone just wants to walk away. Personally, I cant speak for others, but the bond that Sasha and I have is remarkable. And neither of us would give the other any reason to walk away.


22 Jun 05 - We met in a tiny bar in Williamsburg, Va. (spent all summer together)

27 May 06 - Sasha comes back for a 2nd glorious summer (spent 8 months apart)

01 Jan 07 - Jason travels to Moscow for 2 weeks with Sasha

27 May 07 - Jason again travels to Moscow for 2 weeks of perfection

14 July 07 - I-129F and all related documents sent to VSC

16 July 07 - I-129F delivered to VSC and signed for by P. Novak

20 July 07 - NOA1 issued / receipt number assigned

27 Sep 07 - Jason travels to Moscow to be with Sasha for 2 weeks

28 Nov 07 - NOA2 issued...TOUCHED!...then...APPROVED!!!

01 Dec 07 - NVC receives/assigns case #

04 Dec 07 - NVC sends case to U.S. Embassy Moscow

26 Dec 07 - Jason visits Sasha in Russia for the 4th and final time of 2007 :)

22 Feb 08 - Moscow Interview! (APPROVED!!!)..Yay!

24 Mar 08 - Sasha and Jason reunite in the U.S. :)

31 May 08 - Married

29 Dec 08- Alexander is born

11 Jan 10 - AOS / AP / EAD package sent

19 Jan 10 - AOS NOA1 / AP NOA1 / EAD NOA1

08 Feb 10 - AOS case transferred to CSC

16 Mar 10 - AP received

16 Mar 10 - AOS approved

19 Mar 10 - EAD received

22 Mar 10 - GC received

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Filed: AOS (apr) Country: Panama
Timeline
I know two women who were having troubles with their husbands and are now separated. Neither one was married more than 5 years. It seems to me that they just gave up...

Do people still fight to stay married?

I voted yes.Nowadays people think that couples are disposable.It's like "ok if I don't like this one,I'll just get another one."Believe me there have been times I have wanted to beat my SO upside the head,but I didn't.You just have to take it one day at the time.


May 7,2007-USCIS received I-129f
July 24,2007-NOA1 was received
April 21,2008-K-1 visa denied.
June 3,2008-waiver filed at US Consalate in Panama
The interview went well,they told him it will take another 6 months for them to adjudicate the waiver
March 3,2009-US Consulate claims they have no record of our December visit,nor Manuel's interview
March 27,2009-Manuel returned to the consulate for another interrogation(because they forgot about December's interview),and they were really rude !
April 3,2009-US Counsalate asks for more court documents that no longer exist !
June 1,2009-Manuel and I go back to the US consalate AGAIN to give them a letter from the court in Colon along with documents I already gave them last year.I was surprised to see they had two thick files for his case !


June 15,2010-They called Manuel in to take his fingerprints again,still no decision on his case!
June 22,2010-WAIVER APPROVED at 5:00pm
July 19,2010-VISA IN MANUELITO'S HAND at 3:15pm!
July 25,2010-Manuelito arrives at 9:35pm at Logan Intn'l Airport,Boston,MA
August 5,2010-FINALLY MARRIED!!!!!!!!!!!!
August 23,2010-Filed for AOS at the International Institute of RI $1400!
December 23,2010-Work authorization received.
January 12,2011-RFE

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Filed: K-1 Visa Country: Russia
Timeline

Nice words! :thumbs:

I know the feeling too! Alla and I have something I have never felt before, a trust and bond that can handle any of life's difficulties. Neither of us would dream of doing anything to try and break it.

Every relationship gets tested. And there will be days when everyone just wants to walk away. Personally, I cant speak for others, but the bond that Sasha and I have is remarkable. And neither of us would give the other any reason to walk away.

Jeffery AND Alla.

0 kilometers physically separates us!

K-1 Visa Granted... Wednesday, 21 May 2008

Alla ARRIVED to America... Wednesday, 12 November 2008

russia_a.gif Алла и Джеффри USA_a.gif

AllaAndJeffery.PNG

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Filed: K-1 Visa Country: United Kingdom
Timeline

You can only save a relationship if both people are willing to seek help and to compromise and to give due consideration to the other person's needs. I don't think you can say that people give up too easily unless you've lived through whatever they've had to live through. Of course you shouldn't walk out after the first argument, but there comes a point sometimes where you recognise that it's never going to get any better than it is and you have to make a decision about whether you can live with that or not.

I think it's very sad if two people stay together merely out of a sense of obligation and make each other unhappy for the rest of their lives.

It's one of the reasons that I think maintaining a relationship at a distance can be a good thing sometimes because really all you can do is talk and you have time to learn a lot of both good and bad things about each other before you make a final commitment.


Settling into married life

Waiting on the EAD, AP, and AOS

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Filed: Citizen (apr) Country: Brazil
Timeline
I know two women who were having troubles with their husbands and are now separated. Neither one was married more than 5 years. It seems to me that they just gave up...

Do people still fight to stay married?

have them trade husbands. things might work better that way.


* ~ * Charles * ~ *
 

I carry a gun because a cop is too heavy.

 

USE THE REPORT BUTTON INSTEAD OF MESSAGING A MODERATOR!

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Filed: K-1 Visa Country: United Kingdom
Timeline

In a nutshell, I tried to "make it work" with my ex-husband. However, when you try to sit down and talk to someone about the problems you're having and all he does is sit on the couch watching TV, eating chips, and ignoring you, it's very difficult to make it work. Especially when he makes no effort at hunting down a job, would never consider taking a minimum-wage job because he considers it "beneath him," and can't help out around the apartment because he's "sick" all the time.

I don't know about you guys, but I wanted to be a partner to my husband. I never wanted to be his f##king mother. That's not a relationship, that's a disaster.

It lasted a little over two years before we were separated. I don't consider that giving up too quickly, I consider that getting out at the end of my financial string and completely in debt because of a deadbeat who couldn't handle taking care of himself, let alone having any sort of concept of maintaining a relationship. I was nothing more to him than a prize to be won and once he'd won it, he didn't bother taking care of it. I felt that way in the very first months after we were married and it never changed thereafter.

Too quickly? Not quickly enough is more like it. I think that more couples need to get the concept of how to get out while the getting is good. You can't force a marriage to work when one person does not hold up his/her end of the bargain. Working through problems is one thing, but I've seen first-hand what happens when one person just doesn't give a shiite and it ain't pretty.


05-13-06 - Met at Neo Nightclub in Chicago through a mutual friend.

05-24-06 - First formal date, followed immediately by weekend spent together.

09-07-06 - First trip to the UK. Sick most of the time, loved it anyway. :)

11-21-06 - Alasdair comes in for Thanksgiving.

03-28-07 - Second trip to the UK, flew out to Northern Ireland to meet the parents.

06-12-07 - Alasdair's next visit, we go everywhere and do everything. :)

06-17-07 - We become formally engaged, though it'd been in discussion for months.

07-27-07 - I-129F packet sent to Nebraska Service Center.

07-30-07 - I-129F packet received at Nebraska Service Center and forwarded to California.

08-24-07 - Check finally cashed!

08-25-07 - NOA1 Received!

01-30-08 - NOA2 Finally Received!

03-18-08 - Packet 3 Received!

04-03-08 - Packet 4 Received!

04-28-08 - Interview at 8:30am

Fiance still an idiot, sent wrong doc, still waiting on arrival date.

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