to tell or not to tell ?

[surrender 0]

ok here is the scenario:

i know there is an egyptian man that is using a woman for a visa.

she is 25 years his senior and he has been romancing her and doing anything to get a marriage.

she sent him an invitation for a tourist visa but he was denied from the embassy in cairo. now they are planning to marry in march as she wants to come to egypt to marry him. he will then try to follow her back to canada.

my dilemma is this:

should I say something? i know he doesn't love her and he is simply using her to leave the country, i know this for a fact (i cant say how i know). is there any way to tell the embassy in cairo to expect the filing for a spousal visa or should i ?

also he has made mention that he will go from canada to america and he tells his family she is just an elderly woman who wants to help him get papers to leave and nothing more.

i feel bad about this and wonder what you would do.

[monagoz 2]

Somethings are better left the way it is. If the woman at her age could not understand what is going on, then who are you to interfere with their relatationship. I don't know how you got all these information and your interest in it, but I will suggest you mind your own business. You may think you're trying to help a poor old lady from being taken advantage of, but the truth is you may actually be breaking up a genuine relationship.

[surrender 0]

I know from the horses mouth and from the things I have seen and read that it isn't real, that he doesn't love or care about her and he plans on ditching her as soon as he has the opportunity. she blieves him to really love her and I guess my dilemma is, would i want to know the truth?

would you?

[Nanusia & Lukaszek 0]

Did you chat with the lady about the situation? Maybe you can give her some clues about what you are saying, and perhaps she has some of her own suspicions but they are not confirmed so she is just going on with the process.

Unfortunately, Love is blind even if it may be one sided

[Krikit 1,163]

If I was the woman, I would want to know.

[Cassie 8]

If I was the woman, I would want to know.

I would too, and would need solid proof, not "he said, she said" kind of stuff.

[surrender 0]

Hello everyone and thanks for your replies.

I do have the womans email address and have spoken to her a couple of times. The man in question is a family member and it would be difficult to give proof I suppose other than he is hiding the fact of his feelings from his family and telling everyone she is some nice ELDERLY lady who wants to help him get a visa only - not a real marriage-.

I dont know. i would want to know too so i have a dilemma.

[Aymerlu 3]

Personally I would want to know. I also know that there are many that even if they were told they were being used for a visa, they wouldn't beleive it. If you have hard evidence that he's going to do this, I'd show her the facts. Then she's the only one that can decide what she needs to do.

[Dr. A ♥ O 203]

Yes tell her and then it's up to her what to do.

[Ban Hammer 12,864]

i'd say yes, tell her. but provide evidence too. i don't know what canadian immigration requires, if anything like usa immigration, but maybe after she's been left she'll appreciate evidence that shows visa fraud so she's not financially on the hook for this scammer.

[surrender 0]

How long would it take (do you think) if they marry in egypt and then try to immigrate to canada right away?

[trailmix 77]

How long would it take (do you think) if they marry in egypt and then try to immigrate to canada right away?

Well his entrance to Canada can pretty much be immediate - assuming they are going to apply within Canada. Canada lets married couples live together while their immigration is going through (shock!).

He won't be able to work right away though, that could take a few months and his actual approval could take 12-18 months - if there is no problem. One other poster here on the Canada forum was still waiting for Canadian PR after about 2 years I think it was and was unable to work during that time (in her case it was a legitimate marriage, however she obtained the case notes under the freedom of information act and they noted the age difference and their small wedding reception - the age difference wasn't as great as it is here - but there you go).

So variable, just like U.S. immigration.

I'm guessing, from the info you have given us, that when she goes there to get married this will be the first time they have met? If so and with such a large age difference - it will be a red flag and may well hold things up (however it still gets him in to the country).

As for telling her what you know - why wouldn't you? The fact is, he may be telling his family one story for other reasons - you haven't given us enough information to really know what his motivation is there. However if you are absolutely certain that his intentions are not good you should absolutely tell her - in my opinion.

Edited January 5, 2008 by trailmix

[Reba 2]

Absolutely tell her! Not only is he taking advantage of her, but she'll end up paying for everything (filing fees for Canadian immigration are NOT cheap!) and supporting him for a year or more until he's eligible to work, and by then he'll be gone! She needs to know what he's up to, to save her the heartbreak and financial hardship later.

[Caladan 19]

I would tell her, assuming I had proof, and prepare to lose the friendship.

[~Laura and Nick~ 5]

I would want to know.

Tell her. This could very well jeopardize your relationship with your family member but I think it is very commendable of you to recognize that this just isn't the way you treat people.

I respect you very much for wanting to help this Canadian woman.

Good Luck

Edited January 5, 2008 by ~Laura and Nick~