to tell or not to tell ?

[trailmix 77]

i am often thinking what this woman (from montreal) is thinking myself. cant she see or perhaps he is whispering the nice things in her ear she wants to hear. i think if it were my mom i would be humuliated. she just seems to be in laa laa land. part of me feels its her own fault for believing so easily she never even met the guy ! but on the other hand i feel she just doesnt understand the culture & if she did she might look at him really much differently.

i cant imagine what he must be telling her but she is buying everything. part of me wants to just send an anonymous email to her but that is so cowardly and the other part of me wants to send an email as myself just telling her what I think and say 'the rest is for your mind'. let her think the rest over and make her best decision. the man involved here may kill me if i did that.

i just wonder with some women what evidence it would take to convince them?

what evidence would it take to convince any of you if you were that woman?

Who knows what might convince someone really. Unless she is a cynic (and it doesn't seem that she is) she might need actual video footage

The thing is, all you can do is tell her what you think, what you know, that's all you have to offer really. What she choses to do with that information is up to her. She may already have doubts.

I knew a person once, actually she was quite a good friend. She had a Husband in the military. The stories he would come up with - like pretty much every Christmas he had to drive somewhere (in his own truck) - he was in transport - but I mean really the Army gives you the vehicle.

Or the Christmas when he had to take his own truck and his own tools to fix a broken down Army truck - yeah.

Anyway, long story short, we all always 'knew' that he was up to something, we kind of thought she did too. Turns out he had another family in a town not far from here, children too!

She eventually found out, divorced him and remarried the guy who was the best man at their wedding.

Oh and after the story came out - she said she never suspected.

Edited January 8, 2008 by trailmix

[sarah and hicham 3]

All you can do is tell her. What she does after she finds out is up to her.

[surrender 0]

Update:

the father tried to talk to his son. the son admitted he was only marrying the woman for a visa. he said 'it is my only way out of egypt'. the father claims the son is not listening to anyone and is going ahead with his plan.

so my husband will try to talk to this family member and see if that help but i think if the father cannot affect him then nothnig can.

the next step is to tell this man that when or if the woman comes i will tell her the truth of what is going on. im sure he will coach her first to tell her i will lie to her and make these things up wouldnt' you think?

[LadyJane 1]

I wonder if, in the situation where a family member knows about an intent for visa fraud, there is a way to let USCIS know? Because if HE is adamant about doing this and if SHE is oblivious...then maybe someone can write a letter to USCIS regarding their case.

[trailmix 77]

Update:

the father tried to talk to his son. the son admitted he was only marrying the woman for a visa. he said 'it is my only way out of egypt'. the father claims the son is not listening to anyone and is going ahead with his plan.

so my husband will try to talk to this family member and see if that help but i think if the father cannot affect him then nothnig can.

the next step is to tell this man that when or if the woman comes i will tell her the truth of what is going on. im sure he will coach her first to tell her i will lie to her and make these things up wouldnt' you think?

Yes, I think you are right, he will probably tell her you are a liar and just want to sabotage his relationship with her - because you don't agree with it or something equally ridiculous.

'It is my only way out of egypt'. He sounds like a real twit - using someone else for a visa - it shows such a lack of moral character it makes you wonder what else he would do.

Edited January 9, 2008 by trailmix

[Krikit 1,163]

I wonder if, in the situation where a family member knows about an intent for visa fraud, there is a way to let USCIS know? Because if HE is adamant about doing this and if SHE is oblivious...then maybe someone can write a letter to USCIS regarding their case.

That's a great idea! Except, in this case, I would write to Canadian Immigration because I doubt USCIS would care. Oh what the heck. Tell them too, just in case she drops him and he hits up an American woman.

[trailmix 77]

I wonder if, in the situation where a family member knows about an intent for visa fraud, there is a way to let USCIS know? Because if HE is adamant about doing this and if SHE is oblivious...then maybe someone can write a letter to USCIS regarding their case.

That's a great idea! Except, in this case, I would write to Canadian Immigration because I doubt USCIS would care. Oh what the heck. Tell them too, just in case she drops him and he hits up an American woman.

lololol

[surrender 0]

Update:

the father tried to talk to his son. the son admitted he was only marrying the woman for a visa. he said 'it is my only way out of egypt'. the father claims the son is not listening to anyone and is going ahead with his plan.

so my husband will try to talk to this family member and see if that help but i think if the father cannot affect him then nothnig can.

the next step is to tell this man that when or if the woman comes i will tell her the truth of what is going on. im sure he will coach her first to tell her i will lie to her and make these things up wouldnt' you think?

Yes, I think you are right, he will probably tell her you are a liar and just want to sabotage his relationship with her - because you don't agree with it or something equally ridiculous.

'It is my only way out of egypt'. He sounds like a real twit - using someone else for a visa - it shows such a lack of moral character it makes you wonder what else he would do.

Isnt that the truth !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

at this time i dont put anything past this parasite. thats my new word for him

im not sure if i should alert the embassy or canadian people, i would have no idea how to do that and it could just be hearsay if i cant give them proof. i am thinking to just tell HIM that when or if she comes i will tell her the truth if he will not. the rest is up to her.

god i wish she was on this site it would just be easier. but also i agree with what someone else said - if it doesnt work with this woman he will probably just try another woman from another country. i think the issue stems from seeing my husband and i married and creating a family and moving back out west and he wants the same for himself. which is ok! but jeesh do it in an honest way - ya know ??

[IR5FORMUMSIE 850]

Update:

the father tried to talk to his son. the son admitted he was only marrying the woman for a visa. he said 'it is my only way out of egypt'. the father claims the son is not listening to anyone and is going ahead with his plan.

so my husband will try to talk to this family member and see if that help but i think if the father cannot affect him then nothnig can.

the next step is to tell this man that when or if the woman comes i will tell her the truth of what is going on. im sure he will coach her first to tell her i will lie to her and make these things up wouldnt' you think?

Yes, I think you are right, he will probably tell her you are a liar and just want to sabotage his relationship with her - because you don't agree with it or something equally ridiculous.

'It is my only way out of egypt'. He sounds like a real twit - using someone else for a visa - it shows such a lack of moral character it makes you wonder what else he would do.

Isnt that the truth !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

at this time i dont put anything past this parasite. thats my new word for him

im not sure if i should alert the embassy or canadian people, i would have no idea how to do that and it could just be hearsay if i cant give them proof. i am thinking to just tell HIM that when or if she comes i will tell her the truth if he will not. the rest is up to her.

god i wish she was on this site it would just be easier. but also i agree with what someone else said - if it doesnt work with this woman he will probably just try another woman from another country. i think the issue stems from seeing my husband and i married and creating a family and moving back out west and he wants the same for himself. which is ok! but jeesh do it in an honest way - ya know ??

I've sat back and looked at this matter from every angle and here's what I think, TELL HER ONLY. I know of quite a few people who contacted the authorities and absolutely nothing happened! This was for the US and Canada so why waste your time. Did it ever occur to anyone that she may like the attention that he lavishes on her?

There's a professional school that I interviewed at that was advising applicants who weren't Americans (or locals) to marry a local girl/guy to get in-state tuition. I don't think that they were serious but they weren't smiling or joking when they said it. They even told us that x % of the class did this annually, so???

[surrender 0]

I can understand why hte embassies wouldnt take the information literally unless there was concrete evidence. physical evidence i mean.

[surrender 0]

Newest update, this Canadian woman is buying him a car here, a NEW one.

Gosh I don't know if I should care so much about someone willing to buy a brand new

vehicle for someone they've never met.

[~Laura and Nick~ 5]

I can understand why hte embassies wouldnt take the information literally unless there was concrete evidence. physical evidence i mean.

Sigh.

Did you tell her?

[trailmix 77]

Newest update, this Canadian woman is buying him a car here, a NEW one.

Gosh I don't know if I should care so much about someone willing to buy a brand new

vehicle for someone they've never met.

Wow! that is just strange. Then again, as you mention, he is showering her with all this lovey dovey talk, she is obviously still thinking he is legit - so maybe it isn't so strange!

[Udella&Wiz 325]

Call me crazy....but what happened to MYOB ?

I don't know, and I haven't read all 4 pages of this thread, but if a grown woman can't figure it out, I doubt going to her and telling her is going to help? She'll be in denial and assume the person delivering the bad news is wrong.

Maybe she knows...has this been considered? There could actually be someone who is fine knowing this and hopes to get 5 minutes of happiness from it?

Dunno.... sometimes you just have to let things lie..lay...which ever it is

[surrender 0]

At this point she is on her own. I was considering telling her when she came to egypt

but now - she sounds hopeless. w ould she buy a brand new car for a canadian man she has never met? probably not so why this guy.

i am past thinking she is naive - now i think she is just retarded.