Engagement Rings

[shikarnov 7]

Hi All,

When Ira and I got engaged, it was less of a proposal, and more of a discussion/decision. If anything, it was a very Ivanovo-esque way of deciding to form a family. Well, this Novi God, I plan to pop the question according to the more formal, romantic, American tradition. I know it loses something when you already know the answer, but it'll still be something nice for Ira to experience...

My concern, however, is that engagement rings aren't exactly a Russian custom -- and women walking around with a two carat diamond on their finger also aren't the norm. The diamond is shiny and reflective as hell, and so I know Ira will stand out in a crowd. And this may sound somewhat like American arrogance (who wouldn't be impressed by the shiny stone, after all... ), but I'm worried that she will appear like a perfect target for every day criminals; and maybe even some poverty stricken would-be criminals who'd like to make some significant apartment repairs.

Has this been an issue for anybody else? How do your ladies handle the engagement ring?

Thanks!

Z

[Bobalouie 0]

Hi All,

When Ira and I got engaged, it was less of a proposal, and more of a discussion/decision. If anything, it was a very Ivanovo-esque way of deciding to form a family. Well, this Novi God, I plan to pop the question according to the more formal, romantic, American tradition. I know it loses something when you already know the answer, but it'll still be something nice for Ira to experience...

My concern, however, is that engagement rings aren't exactly a Russian custom -- and women walking around with a two carat diamond on their finger also aren't the norm. The diamond is shiny and reflective as hell, and so I know Ira will stand out in a crowd. And this may sound somewhat like American arrogance (who wouldn't be impressed by the shiny stone, after all... ), but I'm worried that she will appear like a perfect target for every day criminals; and maybe even some poverty stricken would-be criminals who'd like to make some significant apartment repairs.

Has this been an issue for anybody else? How do your ladies handle the engagement ring?

Thanks!

Z

My lady wears hers everyday, and has not reported any problems. She lives in Sochi.

[Passing.star 0]

I wear mine every time I go so that it indicates i am engage. But when at home, I usually put it in the box because I don't want it to lose its shine, B) , no problem so far....

[Donna A 4]

maybe u should get her a fake one to wear out when she is alone and let her wear her good one like when she goes out in a group or where she wouldnt be targeted for robbery.

[kud 0]

My Lady wore hers in Moscow with no problems.

[mox 298]

You have the same protective tendencies that I do. I have to constantly remind myself that she is more than capable of taking care of herself, and that she knows better than I do how to be safe in her own city. So I wouldn't worry about it at all. If she's in a situation where she shouldn't be flashing her bling, I'm sure she'll take appropriate measures.

[visaveteran1 33]

Russia makes some of the best "fake" diamonds in the world. I have an American friend who swears you can't tell the difference without high tech analysis. For about $600 you can get a 1.5 carat 'diamond" that looks impressive with a nice gold setting.

Anyway, my wife wears her ring but she is sometimes afraid and hides it underneath her finger. (BTW, it's a real diamond).

The thing about diamonds is simila r to autos...you pay a lot up front but the value drops very quickly. A $10,000 ring might only bring $3000 on resale. I don't know about Russia but in theUSA diamonds are a lousy investment.

[Kazan' Tiger 1]

My fiancée wanted nothing to do with a diamond ring. Primarily, she just considers they are gaudy and a waste of money. Secondly, she feels such a ring does not belong on city streets and she wanted to feel comfortable wearing her ring daily. She picked out a very practical yet beautiful ring. I know I would definitely be concerned about my fiancée having such a ring taken. I've yet to see a large diamond ring on the finger of any Russian lady in Kazan'. If you want to go big, maybe save it for Stateside to be on the save side.

Edited December 28, 2007 by Kazan' Tiger

[Satellite 1]

Engagement rings aren't exactly a Russian custom -- and women walking around with a two carat diamond on their finger also aren't the norm.

Has this been an issue for anybody else? How do your ladies handle the engagement ring?

Because we couldn't afford anything fancy like that we stuck to Russian tradition of just a gold band for marriage. So it hasn't been an issue at all.

[shikarnov 7]

My fiancée wanted nothing to do with a diamond ring. Primarily, she just considers they are gaudy and a waste of money. Secondly, she feels such a ring does not belong on city streets and she wanted to feel comfortable wearing her ring daily. She picked out a very practical yet beautiful ring. I know I would definitely be concerned about my fiancée having such a ring taken. I've yet to see a large diamond ring on the finger of any Russian lady in Kazan'. If you want to go big, maybe save it for Stateside to be on the save side.

I also thought about the idea of saving it for Stateside, but I wondered what the interviewer would say... So he loves you? Been together for a couple years? He can afford to live in Russia, fly back to the US several times annually, but you have no ring? Neeext!

Because we couldn't afford anything fancy like that we stuck to Russian tradition of just a gold band for marriage. So it hasn't been an issue at all.

Well, the ring is an heirloom, so all I paid for outright was the setting. And after soaking so much cash into the Russian economy the past two years, plus planes, and etc, I'm not sure I could have afforded much more than that myself...

You have the same protective tendencies that I do. I have to constantly remind myself that she is more than capable of taking care of herself, and that she knows better than I do how to be safe in her own city. So I wouldn't worry about it at all. If she's in a situation where she shouldn't be flashing her bling, I'm sure she'll take appropriate measures.

It's nice to know somebody else feels the same way, LOL. It's hard for me to think of Ivanovo in the same way I would Moscow or Rostov, or most any US city. The whole oblast is like a giant ghetto. Given that I grew up in a poor neighborhood, and saw all that went on there, it's a little hard for me to trust people around here that look similar to those who I grew up with, and who come from similar circumstances. Some of these people don't eat on a regular basis (old women still line the streets begging - and blessing me profusely when I hand them a fresh bought chicken from the rinok, or a bag of perogis) and there walks by a young woman with a shiny finger, in the early evening, alone walking toward an empty bus stop...

I have quite the imagination... Which is not always a good thing...

Russia makes some of the best "fake" diamonds in the world. I have an American friend who swears you can't tell the difference without high tech analysis. For about $600 you can get a 1.5 carat 'diamond" that looks impressive with a nice gold setting.

Anyway, my wife wears her ring but she is sometimes afraid and hides it underneath her finger. (BTW, it's a real diamond).

I had no idea that the best fake diamonds were here... I might have been tempted to pick up a few just to see how much I could get for them at a US pawn shop, but $600 is a bit steep for a test run. Are these the famed cubic zirconium you hear about so often on the radio?

Thanks to everybody else as well for their replies. They're appreciated.

Z

[Kazan' Tiger 1]

I very much doubt that could happen. Since most Russian women do not get a ring until after the wedding, C/Os do understand an engagement ringless lady. The C/O should not even question it. If he did, all she'd have to say is the truth, he prefers to be safe and wait until I am with him in the U.S. as the ring is a special family heirloom!

I also thought about the idea of saving it for Stateside, but I wondered what the interviewer would say... So he loves you? Been together for a couple years? He can afford to live in Russia, fly back to the US several times annually, but you have no ring? Neeext!

[mox 298]

I have quite the imagination... Which is not always a good thing...

LOL! Yeah, I know. I have the same imagination. My girl's apartment is situated in an area of town that I would not consider the most upscale. As a nurse she works some fairly odd hours, and I always worry when she walks home at night. I've sent her money and told her to pay the freaking 50 rubles for a cab ride, but she considers it frivolous. (she'd rather spend the money on shoes anyway )

In any case, it should reassure you that she's probably wearing gloves and covering up her ring much of the time. No doubt she'll be pretty bummed about that, as she'd rather be showing it off.

Russia makes some of the best I had no idea that the best fake diamonds were here... I might have been tempted to pick up a few just to see how much I could get for them at a US pawn shop, but $600 is a bit steep for a test run. Are these the famed cubic zirconium you hear about so often on the radio?

Yeah, cubic zirconium have really come a long way. The best ones are completely indistinguishable from a real diamond without a loupe. I hadn't heard that Russian CZ's were the best, that's interesting.

Edited December 28, 2007 by mox

[JVKn'CVO 11]

If you plan on getting a full bridal set, what we did is turn the tradition around: Justin proposed with what you would consider a wedding band (the type that has small diamonds going half way around it, all of the same size). I wore this in my home country without any problems. She can later use the "engagement ring" after she arrives in the US or after the wedding. (We are still waiting to get ours). The CO never asked about the ring or asked to see it.

Saludos,

Caro

[shikarnov 7]

I've sent her money and told her to pay the freaking 50 rubles for a cab ride, but she considers it frivolous. (she'd rather spend the money on shoes anyway )

If she thinks that's a frivolous expense, wait till she gets to the US. By Russian standards, almost our entire country is frivolous.

Lucky for me, I've lived with Ira for the better part of two years, and so have had lots of time to corrupt her sense of frivolousness.

Z

[shikarnov 7]

If you plan on getting a full bridal set, what we did is turn the tradition around: Justin proposed with what you would consider a wedding band (the type that has small diamonds going half way around it, all of the same size). I wore this in my home country without any problems. She can later use the "engagement ring" after she arrives in the US or after the wedding. (We are still waiting to get ours). The CO never asked about the ring or asked to see it.

Saludos,

Caro

That's actually a pretty good idea... I wish I thought about it before leaving the States last month with only the engagement ring...

Damn -- This is my number one lesson: check on VJ before doing anything.

Thanks for the advice!

Z