Engagement Rings

[slim 1,514]

Does anyone on here do the Russian style "right hand" engagement/wedding rings?

Truth be told, my wife and I hardly ever wear our wedding rings (both of our jobs pretty much require no jewelry) and when we do, we wear them on the left hand because we're in the States. We said when we got them "when in the U.S., we'll wear on the left, as is customary. When in Russia, we'll wear on the right." We've yet to return to Russia since being married but if we do, we'll swap 'em over to the other hand.

[Kazan' Tiger 1]

My fiancée has her engagement ring on her right hand. She told me he will probably want her future wedding band there too as the hand the ring is on is Russian.

Hey, Slim, are you saying your employers forbid wedding bands? I've got serious issues with that.

Does anyone on here do the Russian style "right hand" engagement/wedding rings?

Truth be told, my wife and I hardly ever wear our wedding rings (both of our jobs pretty much require no jewelry) and when we do, we wear them on the left hand because we're in the States. We said when we got them "when in the U.S., we'll wear on the left, as is customary. When in Russia, we'll wear on the right." We've yet to return to Russia since being married but if we do, we'll swap 'em over to the other hand.

[slim 1,514]

Hey, Slim, are you saying your employers forbid wedding bands? I've got serious issues with that.

About two years ago they came out with a "no jewelry" policy. Nothing. No wedding bands, no earrings, not even a Mr. T style feather was allowed. I work in a factory with machinery and lots of moving parts so there was at least a valid reason for them to issue the new order; Safety First.

However, about a week into it, so many people were b!tching about not being able to wear their wedding rings that they amended the policy and allowed wedding bands to be worn. They've loosened up quite a bit on enforcement of the policy (some of the girls are even sporting engagement rings without wedding bands) but it is now "officially" allowed to wear one.

I choose to not wear mine at work because I happen to like all my fingers, including my ring finger and I know sooner or later if I wore my ring, it'd be melted to the side of a plastic bag along with what's left of my finger. It's a pretty simple titanium band so it probably wouldn't get cut or break but my finger is pretty maleable so that'd probably be what separated from my body. The ring would just be sitting there mocking me.

My wife works in a sandwich shop so she's always getting messy hands and chooses not to wear hers on that account. Plus, hers has a pearl and some small diamonds on it (not really a traditional band but that's the one she wanted... special ring for a special girl!) so she doesn't want it to get messed up either.

We wear them when we get "dressed up" or go out together somewhere. Daily though, neither one of us really wears one. We almost didn't even buy them as it wasn't a big issue for either of us but my parents "donated" the money for them a few days, actually, I think it was the day before, the wedding. Since then, the longest I've worn mine was while we were on vacation. I have a nice "worn" spot of dry, cracked skin on my ring finger now. It's ugly, but it's not enough to make me chance getting caught in some gears.

(I have a buddy at work who has a "work" wedding ring and a "home" wedding ring. He left his work ring at the wash basin one day and thought he lost it. He wasn't very worried about it and we were all like, "Yo man, your wife's gonna kick your @$$ when she finds out you lost your wedding band." He said, "Naw man. That's just my work ring. My home ring is safe and sound. That one was just a $20 Wal-Mart special that I wear around here at work so I don't mess up my other one." He still has all his fingers..... and never got his @$$ kicked.)

[Chuckles 0]

Hey, Slim, are you saying your employers forbid wedding bands? I've got serious issues with that.

About two years ago they came out with a "no jewelry" policy. Nothing. No wedding bands, no earrings, not even a Mr. T style feather was allowed. I work in a factory with machinery and lots of moving parts so there was at least a valid reason for them to issue the new order; Safety First.

However, about a week into it, so many people were b!tching about not being able to wear their wedding rings that they amended the policy and allowed wedding bands to be worn. They've loosened up quite a bit on enforcement of the policy (some of the girls are even sporting engagement rings without wedding bands) but it is now "officially" allowed to wear one.

I choose to not wear mine at work because I happen to like all my fingers, including my ring finger and I know sooner or later if I wore my ring, it'd be melted to the side of a plastic bag along with what's left of my finger. It's a pretty simple titanium band so it probably wouldn't get cut or break but my finger is pretty maleable so that'd probably be what separated from my body. The ring would just be sitting there mocking me.

My wife works in a sandwich shop so she's always getting messy hands and chooses not to wear hers on that account. Plus, hers has a pearl and some small diamonds on it (not really a traditional band but that's the one she wanted... special ring for a special girl!) so she doesn't want it to get messed up either.

We wear them when we get "dressed up" or go out together somewhere. Daily though, neither one of us really wears one. We almost didn't even buy them as it wasn't a big issue for either of us but my parents "donated" the money for them a few days, actually, I think it was the day before, the wedding. Since then, the longest I've worn mine was while we were on vacation. I have a nice "worn" spot of dry, cracked skin on my ring finger now. It's ugly, but it's not enough to make me chance getting caught in some gears.

(I have a buddy at work who has a "work" wedding ring and a "home" wedding ring. He left his work ring at the wash basin one day and thought he lost it. He wasn't very worried about it and we were all like, "Yo man, your wife's gonna kick your @$$ when she finds out you lost your wedding band." He said, "Naw man. That's just my work ring. My home ring is safe and sound. That one was just a $20 Wal-Mart special that I wear around here at work so I don't mess up my other one." He still has all his fingers..... and never got his @$$ kicked.)

My wife only wears her ring(s) when we go out too. She likes to keep them nice, and it isn't a great idea for her to wear them at her work either. My wedding ring was a 35$ band I really didn't care about. I wore it most of the time, but wedding rings were not a big deal to us... I thought...

Then I lost my ring. She was not happy All of a sudden it was a big deal... bah!

Anyway, she bought me a much nicer one for our wedding anniversary. I still do not wear it everywhere, but if I lose it... I might lose something else if you know what I mean.

[Kazan' Tiger 1]

Glad that policy was changed. My opinion will always be Safety (NO) Family First! I will marry a person, my fiancée, not my job. I have no problems with excessive jewelry, piercings, loose clothing, what have you being restricted. Wedding rings however, different story! I do know some people that buy "work" rings too. Nothing wrong with that. But I want that symbol on my finger and so does my fiancée.

Hey, Slim, are you saying your employers forbid wedding bands? I've got serious issues with that.

About two years ago they came out with a "no jewelry" policy. Nothing. No wedding bands, no earrings, not even a Mr. T style feather was allowed. I work in a factory with machinery and lots of moving parts so there was at least a valid reason for them to issue the new order; Safety First.

However, about a week into it, so many people were b!tching about not being able to wear their wedding rings that they amended the policy and allowed wedding bands to be worn. They've loosened up quite a bit on enforcement of the policy (some of the girls are even sporting engagement rings without wedding bands) but it is now "officially" allowed to wear one.

I choose to not wear mine at work because I happen to like all my fingers, including my ring finger and I know sooner or later if I wore my ring, it'd be melted to the side of a plastic bag along with what's left of my finger. It's a pretty simple titanium band so it probably wouldn't get cut or break but my finger is pretty maleable so that'd probably be what separated from my body. The ring would just be sitting there mocking me.

My wife works in a sandwich shop so she's always getting messy hands and chooses not to wear hers on that account. Plus, hers has a pearl and some small diamonds on it (not really a traditional band but that's the one she wanted... special ring for a special girl!) so she doesn't want it to get messed up either.

We wear them when we get "dressed up" or go out together somewhere. Daily though, neither one of us really wears one. We almost didn't even buy them as it wasn't a big issue for either of us but my parents "donated" the money for them a few days, actually, I think it was the day before, the wedding. Since then, the longest I've worn mine was while we were on vacation. I have a nice "worn" spot of dry, cracked skin on my ring finger now. It's ugly, but it's not enough to make me chance getting caught in some gears.

(I have a buddy at work who has a "work" wedding ring and a "home" wedding ring. He left his work ring at the wash basin one day and thought he lost it. He wasn't very worried about it and we were all like, "Yo man, your wife's gonna kick your @$$ when she finds out you lost your wedding band." He said, "Naw man. That's just my work ring. My home ring is safe and sound. That one was just a $20 Wal-Mart special that I wear around here at work so I don't mess up my other one." He still has all his fingers..... and never got his @$$ kicked.)

[mox 298]

When I was in the service, people who worked around electronics weren't allowed to have dangling jewelry or rings because of the shock hazard. I'm talking working *inside* the electronics, not just operating a computer or something. Some people had a pretty good solution and just wrapped a piece of electrical tape around their ring while working on the equipment. It was an elegant solution and (I'm told) the electrical tape didn't leave any residual tape boogers.

Another guy I knew who was an aircraft mechanic had almost lost his ring finger when a cotter pin on a bomb cart caught his ring. The ship he was on yawed and the bomb cart went rolling across the deck. The hand brake failed, he lost his footing, and it almost tore his finger off. What saved him was that the ring finally pulled off, taking a bunch of skin with it. Ever since then he continued to wear a wedding band, but he modified the new ring with a cut on the inside of the ring that goes about 3/4 the way through, so if it ever happens again the metal will break first. (he's handy with a jewelers saw so I imagine he knows how to do it right.)

[Satellite 1]

I want that symbol on my finger and so does my fiancée.

So if you were too poor to afford wedding bands, would you feel your marriage is somehow incomplete or inadequate?

[Kazan' Tiger 1]

Where did I say or imply that? I said, "I" and "my fiancée" Those two people "want that symbol". What do I care if someone does not want to wear a wedding band?

I want that symbol on my finger and so does my fiancée.

So if you were too poor to afford wedding bands, would you feel your marriage is somehow incomplete or inadequate?

[mox 298]

I want that symbol on my finger and so does my fiancée.

So if you were too poor to afford wedding bands, would you feel your marriage is somehow incomplete or inadequate?

Very few people are too poor to afford a simple wedding band, especially if they can afford to marry. Even a simple 14k band can be found in a pawn shop for pennies on the dollar.

And I don't think I'd ever consider my marriage "incomplete or inadequate" without a ring, but I do believe that symbols hold a power of their own, even for an atheist like me. It means something because it *means* something. For safety reasons I can understand people being asked to remove jewelry, but I'd never work anywhere that flat out prohibited me from wearing my wedding band because of something arbitrary.

[Satellite 1]

I want that symbol on my finger and so does my fiancée.

So if you were too poor to afford wedding bands, would you feel your marriage is somehow incomplete or inadequate?

Very few people are too poor to afford a simple wedding band, especially if they can afford to marry. Even a simple 14k band can be found in a pawn shop for pennies on the dollar.

Really I have a hard time believing that when over 1 billion people on this planet live on less than $1 a day. Yet I am sure they still go through some sort of marital ceremony.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Poverty

Edited January 9, 2008 by Satellite

[mox 298]

I want that symbol on my finger and so does my fiancée.

So if you were too poor to afford wedding bands, would you feel your marriage is somehow incomplete or inadequate?

Very few people are too poor to afford a simple wedding band, especially if they can afford to marry. Even a simple 14k band can be found in a pawn shop for pennies on the dollar.

Really I have a hard time believing that when over 1 billion people on this planet live on less than $1 a day. Yet I am sure they still go through some sort of marital ceremony.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Poverty

Well since the question seemed to be directed at "you," meaning either the generic "you"/reader or perhaps specifically KT, then I thought I'd limit my response to a reasonable subset of the earth's population.

But honestly, I'm not sure what the question is really getting at.

"So if you were too poor to afford wedding bands, would you feel your marriage is somehow incomplete or inadequate?"

There's really no way to answer this question that reflects what I believe KT was driving at. If you answer "yes" then you are saying your marriage is tied up in a couple pieces of metal instead of the deeper aspects of love, trust, et al. If you say "no" then you've completely dismissed the symbol of unity the rings represent. Yet clearly these symbols mean *something* important, and it can't really be summed up in an answer to that question.

[Kazan' Tiger 1]

Well I can not speak for the other billion. For my fiancée and I it is nice to be able to look at something physical, to touch it, to caress and feel it on your finger, and know that it is a symbol of everlasting commitment. As for worth, Hell, it could be a Crackerjack ring.

What are you picking at anyway? That because some of us like and appreciate the tradition and symbology of a ring, we are superficial and incapable of seeing the bigger picture?

I want that symbol on my finger and so does my fiancée.

So if you were too poor to afford wedding bands, would you feel your marriage is somehow incomplete or inadequate?

Very few people are too poor to afford a simple wedding band, especially if they can afford to marry. Even a simple 14k band can be found in a pawn shop for pennies on the dollar.

Really I have a hard time believing that when over 1 billion people on this planet live on less than $1 a day. Yet I am sure they still go through some sort of marital ceremony.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Poverty

[slim 1,514]

There is a "symbol" in almost every culture to commemorate a wedding or union of people. It may be a simple action witnessed by one's family, community and peers (like jumping over a broom, breaking a lightbulb, etc.) or it may be very expensive (like a diamond-encrusted platinum band that is worn on a finger every minute of every day) and then there are the really permanent things like scarring and branding. Either way, marriage is usually "symbolized" by something, even by poor people.

Traditionally, in my neighborhood, at least, it's usually symbolized by the woman having a very swollen abdomen at the wedding.

[Jason-Sasha 1]

During this recent trip to Moscow, I presented Sasha with a 1 carat diamond in an antique setting on a platinum band encrusted with 6 small diamonds. She was very pleasantly surprised. I also officially asked her parents' permission.....in Russian even!! Oy. That was extremely difficult! Then I re-proposed to her as her parents witnessed. We had been engaged for a long while, hence the 129f in July, but I never officially had the chance to ask her parents in person. They gave us their blessings of course, then we had a nice dinner to celebrate afterwards with her extended family. We agreed that it was best to wear wedding bands on the right hand while in Russia and on the left while in the States. I was a little worried about someone noticing her ring and trying to steal it, but then I noticed how snug her ring fits. I'm confident that stone is going nowhere. Since I bought the ring here and she was there, I had to make a rough guess to her finger size. Wanted it to be a surprise. I must say that it is a perfect fit for security. Would take a tub of Crisco to ease that baby off! well, not really. but you get the idea.

Her family was certainly not used to such a tradition. And they seemed to really like the ring. Most Russians don't wear engagement rings, and some dont even wear wedding rings. And I noticed that when women do wear wedding rings, they are simple yellow gold bands without stones. So, I'm sure to most Russians Sasha will appear to be married already. Fine by me.

Edited January 12, 2008 by Jason-Sasha

[slim 1,514]

Cool!

Although, if she needs to get that ring off while in Russia, there's probably a whole lot of Mayo that would be readily available.