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  • This topic is locked This topic is locked

Divorce after 1 year of marriage

#1 Khomer1964

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Posted 23 January 2012 - 03:04 PM

My wife arrived from China in November 2010 and we were married Dec 25, 2010. She received her Green card in April 2011. She recently changed her Social Security number to reflect that she has her Green card. She is not adjusting well here and i believe the best thing at this point is to dissolve the marriage. We fight constantly, she seems to be obsessed with money and I am questioning her motives at this point. My question is concerning her status in the US. If we divorce, am I still going to be sponsoring her? I don't want to be my name on anything connected to her Green card or AOS. I am sure that she does not want to return to China, but i do not think i should have to pay her any alimony if she has been dishonest with me. If we divorce, does she have to return to China? If she returns to China, can she return on her own if i am no longer her sponsor? If anyone has any information, please let me know.

Thank you
  • 0

#2 Anh map

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Posted 23 January 2012 - 03:15 PM

She has a green card, nothing that you can do to change that. She is not required to leave the country if you divorce. Yes, she can re-enter the US with a valid GC.

Essentially your I-864 will be still be valid until she is credited with 40 quarters of work, obtains US citizenship, or her LPR status is no longer valid.

A family law attorney can give you answers regarding possible alimony.
  • 2

#3 Laure&Colin

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Posted 23 January 2012 - 03:18 PM

Did you sponsor her, I mean did you sign the affidavit of support for her? If yes, your obligations do NOT end if you divorce. Refer to the affidavit of support instructions for details.
If you divorce, she can apply for removal of conditions (obtaining a non-conditionnal 10 year green card) on her own, based on the fact that she entered the marriage in good faith.
In this case, she could stay, and you would still be her legal sponsor.
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#4 Bob 4 Anna

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Posted 23 January 2012 - 03:47 PM

Your main question has been answered and I have nothing left to add regarding it but I would like to address this part of your post.

We fight constantly, she seems to be obsessed with money and I am questioning her motives at this point.


Have you taken the time to understand the cultural differences especially relating to money?

I don't want to make sweeping generalizations but it has been my experience that the average Asian woman looks at money in a very different light than your average American Joe. They never seem to feel they have enough saved for the future.

You didn't say what she's having problems adjusting to but you should wonder if you'd be able to adjust to life in China any better.

You can't take her difficulties personally. My wife's first year here was rough on both of us and 2 year in we're still hitting bump in the road but we're both staying in the car...
  • 0

#5 Khomer1964

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Posted 23 January 2012 - 03:48 PM

Did you sponsor her, I mean did you sign the affidavit of support for her? If yes, your obligations do NOT end if you divorce. Refer to the affidavit of support instructions for details.
If you divorce, she can apply for removal of conditions (obtaining a non-conditionnal 10 year green card) on her own, based on the fact that she entered the marriage in good faith.
In this case, she could stay, and you would still be her legal sponsor.


She did not enter the marriage in good faith. There is a lot i did not include (Rushing me to get married fast, rushing to get her green card, etc). Definitely not a marriage in good faith. that is why i want to divorce her! I just want her out of my life and i don't want to be responsible for her. She is impossible to deal with. If i have to go before a judge, they will see how difficult she is. I can prove that she is full of crap and that this marriage was a sham. She has a few friends who have married Americans and have just left after a few months to go back to China. We have only been married a little over a year. Things have been shaky from day one. I don't want to be her legal sponsor anymore because she is fraudulent.
  • 0

#6 skiptex

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Posted 23 January 2012 - 03:56 PM

i wonder what the other side of the story is..

the Affidavit of support is for 10 yrs..
  • 3

K101/17/2012.....I-129F ..... sent to Dallas, Texas

01/25/2012.....NOA1 (text & email) ..... sent to Vermont Service Center

01/28/2012.....NOA1 Hard Copy in Mail

07/31/2012.....NOA2.. 188 days update@USCIS

08/03/2012.....NOA2.. Hard Copy

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#7 Bob 4 Anna

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    Resident Crazy on VJ



Posted 23 January 2012 - 04:08 PM

Things have been shaky from day one. I don't want to be her legal sponsor anymore because she is fraudulent.

Then why did you allow yourself to get rushed into the marriage?

The only way out from under the affidavit of support would be for you to prove that she actively committed fraud.

You say the she didn't enter the marriage in good faith but in order to get her Status Adjusted she had to prove just that with your help!


  • 2

#8 Khomer1964

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Posted 23 January 2012 - 04:20 PM

Your main question has been answered and I have nothing left to add regarding it but I would like to address this part of your post.


Have you taken the time to understand the cultural differences especially relating to money?

I don't want to make sweeping generalizations but it has been my experience that the average Asian woman looks at money in a very different light than your average American Joe. They never seem to feel they have enough saved for the future.

You didn't say what she's having problems adjusting to but you should wonder if you'd be able to adjust to life in China any better.

You can't take her difficulties personally. My wife's first year here was rough on both of us and 2 year in we're still hitting bump in the road but we're both staying in the car...


Okay....
She does not want me to spend money on anything, ANYTHING! we live in Florida but it gets colder in the winter, so you DO need heat. She never turns the heat on anyway, but i paid to have it repaired because of the dangers (Pipes freezing, health issues, etc) and she was upset that i WASTED MONEY when i could just walk around the house in a winter coat. Yet, she will spends hundreds of dollars on eye cream and make-up and not blink an eye! If i buy anything, she has something to say. I work, she doesn't.

She doesn't respect my parents, she doesn't respect my friends, she doesn't respect my holiday's, everything is stupid to her. But , i must respect her holidays, which i always do. She won't make friends, she doesn't even talk to Chinese people when we go to the Chinese market! She asks me to talk to them! i speak like to words of Mandarin! LOL. I know you are trying to help and don't think i don't appreciate it, because i do, But she is not like your ordinary Asian women. She has been married before. She is very independent. She wants to do her own thing, but have a husband to support her. i know this kind. i dated a lot of America women that act exactly like that.

There is A LOT more that i will not bore you with, but this marriage is irreparable. I have tried everything to help her adjust. I thought she was homesick, so i spent a few thousand dollars that i didn't have to send her home for a month, but she doesn't appreciate anything. The best thing at this point is for her to find someone who can tolerate her. My family and friends have had it with her. I just want out at this point
  • 0

#9 Khomer1964

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Posted 23 January 2012 - 04:24 PM

i wonder what the other side of the story is..

the Affidavit of support is for 10 yrs..



The other side would be her B.S.
It's difficult to explain to people about her attitude without talking to her.
Night and Day how she was when we met and now.
She is full of it and she knows it.
  • 0

#10 skiptex

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    Platinum Member



Posted 23 January 2012 - 04:30 PM

well, sir..

as i side.. there to 2 sides..

as you were told already.. you will will be responsible for her through the I-864,

get your lawyer, get your divorce and move on..

if you pursue another K1.. take more time to get to know the next person better.. (you gave no details to prior to her arrival date/marriage date. )
  • 0

K101/17/2012.....I-129F ..... sent to Dallas, Texas

01/25/2012.....NOA1 (text & email) ..... sent to Vermont Service Center

01/28/2012.....NOA1 Hard Copy in Mail

07/31/2012.....NOA2.. 188 days update@USCIS

08/03/2012.....NOA2.. Hard Copy

09/04/2012.....Sent Email to Caracas Embassy for Interview date.. they had not contacted her

09/05/2012.....Embassy response.. with interview date!!

10/17/2012.....INTERVIEW @Caracas Embassy!

10/17/2012.....INTERVIEW @Caracas Embassy... APPROVED!!

12/31/2012.....POE.. Miami, arrived to AUSTIN next day smile.png

02/16/2013.....Married!! 

 

AOS - K1

05/06/2013.....I-465 & I-765 sent USPS priority mail

05/14/2013......Email, Text of Receiving package on 5/11

05/16/2013......Hard Copy of NOA1 received: I-465 and _I-765 Application for employment 

05/20/2013...... Bio-metric hard-copy.
05/29/2013...... Biometric scheduled. . Austin office

07/15/2013...... EAD card  arrived in mail today smile.png

10/20/2013...... Green Card approved!  NOA hardcopy received!

10/31/2013...... Green Card Delivered!! 


#11 Khomer1964

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Posted 23 January 2012 - 04:36 PM

Then why did you allow yourself to get rushed into the marriage?

The only way out from under the affidavit of support would be for you to prove that she actively committed fraud.

You say the she didn't enter the marriage in good faith but in order to get her Status Adjusted she had to prove just that with your help!


Because she didn't act this way when i met her.
I flew to Shanghai and she was perfect, she was quiet and we never argued about anything.
Her Father was dying in China, yet she came here to the USA to get married.
I never pressured her. My family told me to tell her to take her time. I told her to stay as long as she needed, never pressured her, but she came anyway. I don't understand her, she has changed a lot. From day one she wanted to be added to my mortgage, my bank accounts, everything. Just seems like she has a motive. Yes, i shouldn't have caved and married so fast, but she had a fit. My mistake.

well, sir..

as i side.. there to 2 sides..

as you were told already.. you will will be responsible for her through the I-864,

get your lawyer, get your divorce and move on..

if you pursue another K1.. take more time to get to know the next person better.. (you gave no details to prior to her arrival date/marriage date. )


Believe me, there will be no more K-1 visas in my future. I will stick to the Domestics for now on. I will discuss with a lawyer.
  • 0

#12 skiptex

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    Platinum Member



Posted 23 January 2012 - 04:40 PM

Believe me, there will be no more K-1 visas in my future. I will stick to the Domestics for now on. I will discuss with a lawyer.


DOMESTICS>!! :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

well, i have seen others post, they will Divorce 1st K1 wife and the immediately start hunting for another..
that, i don't understand..

i feel for you to have to go thru this..
  • 0

K101/17/2012.....I-129F ..... sent to Dallas, Texas

01/25/2012.....NOA1 (text & email) ..... sent to Vermont Service Center

01/28/2012.....NOA1 Hard Copy in Mail

07/31/2012.....NOA2.. 188 days update@USCIS

08/03/2012.....NOA2.. Hard Copy

09/04/2012.....Sent Email to Caracas Embassy for Interview date.. they had not contacted her

09/05/2012.....Embassy response.. with interview date!!

10/17/2012.....INTERVIEW @Caracas Embassy!

10/17/2012.....INTERVIEW @Caracas Embassy... APPROVED!!

12/31/2012.....POE.. Miami, arrived to AUSTIN next day smile.png

02/16/2013.....Married!! 

 

AOS - K1

05/06/2013.....I-465 & I-765 sent USPS priority mail

05/14/2013......Email, Text of Receiving package on 5/11

05/16/2013......Hard Copy of NOA1 received: I-465 and _I-765 Application for employment 

05/20/2013...... Bio-metric hard-copy.
05/29/2013...... Biometric scheduled. . Austin office

07/15/2013...... EAD card  arrived in mail today smile.png

10/20/2013...... Green Card approved!  NOA hardcopy received!

10/31/2013...... Green Card Delivered!! 


#13 Khomer1964

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Posted 23 January 2012 - 04:53 PM

DOMESTICS>!! :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

well, i have seen others post, they will Divorce 1st K1 wife and the immediately start hunting for another..
that, i don't understand..

i feel for you to have to go thru this..



Thank you.

I assure anyone who reads this I am done after this ordeal. No more. I don't wish this on anyone.
  • 0

#14 Harpa Timsah

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    Let's not go to VJ, 'tis a silly place.



Posted 23 January 2012 - 05:47 PM

If you were duped into a sham marriage then you should contact ICE with your proof and report her. They will do their own investigation. Your I-864 is still in effect, but that doesn't mean you have to give her money. It is a contract between you and the gov, not you and her. It means you may be asked to pay back any gov. benefits she receives, such as welfare.
  • 0

AOS for my husband
8/17/10: INTERVIEW DAY (day 123) APPROVED!!

ROC:
5/23/12: Sent out package
2/06/13: APPROVED!


#15 rgfox

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Posted 23 January 2012 - 06:33 PM

Lawyer up immediately, but don't tell her you are doing so. Get competent legal advice before saying or doing anything!
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