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Green card holder - arresred for domestic violence... deportation?

#1 Kizana

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Posted 08 April 2011 - 11:53 AM

Hello everyone,

I have nobody to talk now and I am so lost and confused, please if you have any experience what can happen in my situation, please share your thoughts!

I am from Ukraine, entered US legally on K-1 visa in 2008, my husband is a citizen.
First of all I want to say - It was never a goal for me to live in US, it just happened because I fell in love with my husband and we decided that I will come to live with him in US. It was very very hard for me to adjust, I have no family here and I talk to my parents on skype every weekend (I have very tight relationship with my family) However I am very goal oriented person and started to work once I received conditional GC, first it was at Sears in fitting room, after 2 months - receptionist in animal hospital, and finally!!! now I am working as a professional for about 8 months - logistics specialist (I have Master's in Transportation Management from my country).
My husband is in professional industry too, let's say he is a geek))

I am Green Card holder (I received my permanent GC for 10 years in March 2011). Before coming hereI met my husband several times at my homeland so we did not have normal dating period. When I came over here, I saw that he is drinking every night about 12 beers! I am not against having couple drinks at a party or in weekend, but drinking EVERY day???!!! So long story short, he stopped for 6 months - did not drink a drop of alcohol, it was a good time and our relationships were really great! But then he started again... but much lesser amount - about 6-8 beers and sometimes every other night.
For about a year he reduced his drinking to 3-5 beers a night, but it is still a major concern for me and reason for many our fights.
I found psychologist to go and talk how the situation can be improved and she diagnosed him with PTSD (which he told me about a year ago he thinks he has - his parents were abusive and very manipulative with their kids; they loosened up a lot though - I have normal relationships with them).

About 2 weeks ago I started to talk to him again about him possibly stopping to drink and spending more time with me - i really want kids but drinking scares me, and I don't want to have drinking problems in my family, period! He told me that he will not stop it now because it helps him to cop with PTSD and it really helps but he wants to stop it is just not now. I told him that he has addiction and I can't live like this anymore... so we were arguing, I creamed a lot (my fault), I went to computer room to throw out the beer case and he stood in between and was holding my hands trying to calm me down and I pulled my hands out of his and accidentally slapped him on arm. Then I sat on the couch crying desperately... and police appeared...
It was out neighbor who called police, they asked questions and I was afraid they will take him to jail and I was not aware they could take me! So I just said I slapped him on a arm without saying he hold my hands and then I slapped him on arm accidentally... and they arrested me, put me in jail for almost 24 hours... to say that it was dramatic is to say nothing!...

I have been released, no bail, no-contact order. I have nobody to talk here, and I don't really want to talk about that, it is so embarrassing... I even lied to my parents that my husband and I decided to take time apart to work through personal problems... The only people I can talk about are the attorney and my therapist (I decided it would be useful for me to resolve some of my issues and anger).

I have pre-trial on Monday April 11, my lawyer is going to negotiate with prosecutor to drop charges based on self-defence but she estimates it will be more than one pre-trial and there is a chance I will be convicted (even my husband stated in court at first hearing I am no threat to anyone and we are going to marriage counseling)but now it is the city against me...

I have been told that I could be deported if i am convicted... Obviously I hope for better - charges dropped and my husband and I will work through this situation and will resolve everything... I miss him a lot, and I wish I were smarter and calmer and not screaming like idiot... but this situation is just ridiculous!

What are the chances I will be convicted?
What are my options then - deportation?
Do you think I still can save my marriage?

Thank you in advance

Edited by Kizana, 08 April 2011 - 11:54 AM.

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#2 YuAndDan

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Posted 08 April 2011 - 12:02 PM

Already have 10 year card, so not a ROC topic. Moving...
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#3 Kizana

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Posted 08 April 2011 - 12:07 PM

Already have 10 year card, so not a ROC topic. Moving...


I am sorry for posting it in a wrong topic!
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#4 silvana.toma

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Posted 08 April 2011 - 12:29 PM

It would be stupid to deport you, especially since your husband did not press charges against you.
Maybe you should contact a lawyer just to be on the safe side, and to know your interests are taken care of.
Maybe you should stay away from your husband for a while, make him understand how serious the situation is. Too much alcohool can be a problem, and it's not something people should ignore.
The red flag is out there, so be careful, and good luck to you!
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#5 Kizana

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Posted 08 April 2011 - 12:33 PM

It would be stupid to deport you, especially since your husband did not press charges against you.
Maybe you should contact a lawyer just to be on the safe side, and to know your interests are taken care of.
Maybe you should stay away from your husband for a while, make him understand how serious the situation is. Too much alcohool can be a problem, and it's not something people should ignore.
The red flag is out there, so be careful, and good luck to you!


Yes, I do have criminal lawyer who is working on my case and will be presenting it at courthouse (she is trying to have the charges dropped) and she thinks that until the case is resolved the no-contact order should not be removed, so I cannot contact anyhow to my husband.
Unfortunately it does not matter if my husband does not press charges against me - now this is the City (prosecutor) who is moving the case.
I am worried about this so much... And I hope for better...

Thanks for support!

Edited by Kizana, 08 April 2011 - 12:35 PM.

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2005-May-30 Started to write each other
2006-Feb-08 Met in person first time
2008-Aug-09 Entered U.S. on K-1 Visa
2008-Sept-05 Got married! :)
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#6 katiemanny

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Posted 08 April 2011 - 01:24 PM

Are you sure it was only a slap on his arm, because I find it really odd for prosecutors to waste their valuable times on this case. So did they charge you with assault in third degree or what?

The fight must have been more violent, and a slap on a grown man arm shouldn't bring a conviction or deportation.

Edited by katiemanny, 08 April 2011 - 01:27 PM.

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#7 Kizana

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Posted 08 April 2011 - 01:56 PM

Are you sure it was only a slap on his arm, because I find it really odd for prosecutors to waste their valuable times on this case. So did they charge you with assault in third degree or what?

The fight must have been more violent, and a slap on a grown man arm shouldn't bring a conviction or deportation.


I am sure, I slapped him on arm ONLY and there was slight redness that faded quickly and the officer actually took a picture and there is no sign of hit on it. But they said this IS still violence, in my case - 4th degree assault domestic violence...
It was huge shock for my husband as well (he said he would have hidden the arm if he new they would take me). he thought this kind of law applies only to men so I guess he was afraid to go to jail himself but never thought it would be reversed situation...
My lawyer said he is calling her every other day and asking what he can do to have charges dropped but at this point it is not up to him I guess...
As far as I know now - conviction in domestic violence IS one of the reason for deportation, no matter what kind of situation occurred, even slap on arm...
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2005-May-30 Started to write each other
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2011-Mar-23 Permanent Green Card

#8 JimVaPhuong

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Posted 08 April 2011 - 02:09 PM

Are you sure it was only a slap on his arm, because I find it really odd for prosecutors to waste their valuable times on this case. So did they charge you with assault in third degree or what?

The fight must have been more violent, and a slap on a grown man arm shouldn't bring a conviction or deportation.


You can be charged with assault for tugging on someone's shirt. If you touch someone without their permission then it can be classified as assault. If it's a family member or someone you live with then it can be classified as domestic violence. I remember when parents used to spank their kids - a swat on the backside or a slap on the wrist. Now it's considered child abuse. It's a crazy world we live in. :wacko:

An LPR convicted of domestic violence under the laws of any state or the federal government is deportable under INA 237(a). Her husband has the right to refuse to testify. He cannot be compelled to testify against his wife. However, if he testifies and claims it never happened then the prosecutor would be in a bind. I've seen lots of domestic violence cases against men tossed out because their wives backed them up in court.
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#9 Kizana

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Posted 08 April 2011 - 02:24 PM

You can be charged with assault for tugging on someone's shirt. If you touch someone without their permission then it can be classified as assault. If it's a family member or someone you live with then it can be classified as domestic violence. I remember when parents used to spank their kids - a swat on the backside or a slap on the wrist. Now it's considered child abuse. It's a crazy world we live in. :wacko:

An LPR convicted of domestic violence under the laws of any state or the federal government is deportable under INA 237(a). Her husband has the right to refuse to testify. He cannot be compelled to testify against his wife. However, if he testifies and claims it never happened then the prosecutor would be in a bind. I've seen lots of domestic violence cases against men tossed out because their wives backed them up in court.


That's right - it is crazy! It is blown out of proportion this domestic violence law in US!:(( I guess it became so overprotective because some really ugly cases appeared, I just thought I am not in that category... am I?

I can't talk to my husband and I don't want him to say it never happened - I am afraid they would take him to jail for lying, wouldn't they???
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2011-Mar-23 Permanent Green Card

#10 justashooter

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Posted 08 April 2011 - 06:39 PM

look over on immigrate2us for similar cases. if you already have 10 year you are in the clear. get your lawyer to minimize the charge and get back in your husband's good will. consider waiting a bit when you are eligeable for citizenship (status change). this issue should be well dead before you attempt a change in status. talk to a good immigration attourney who has experience in adjusting to citizenship wih minor criminal history. do not waste money on any attourney who hasn't relevant experience.

long and short of it is, your focus now is forced onto this "trial", when it should be on your relationship with your husband.
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#11 Myopia

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Posted 08 April 2011 - 07:48 PM

The law is so weird at times.

My son's father pushed me in the face and then jumped on my back, pushed me down onto a couch and choked me.

When I called the Cops, they said it was only harassment because I wasn't injured.

Next time I guess, i should make sure there is no couch.

All the best. I think your husband should just refuse to testify. The problem is you confessed.
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#12 Kizana

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Posted 08 April 2011 - 09:00 PM

look over on immigrate2us for similar cases. if you already have 10 year you are in the clear. get your lawyer to minimize the charge and get back in your husband's good will. consider waiting a bit when you are eligeable for citizenship (status change). this issue should be well dead before you attempt a change in status. talk to a good immigration attourney who has experience in adjusting to citizenship wih minor criminal history. do not waste money on any attourney who hasn't relevant experience.

long and short of it is, your focus now is forced onto this "trial", when it should be on your relationship with your husband.


Thanks for the advice, and yes, I did and if people get convicted in domestic violence they get deported (however I looked at the cases when there was beating, injuries and testifying against each other). And yes, I am focused on the trial now because first of all I cannot talk now to my husband - no-contact order, second of all - if I get deported I cannot come back to US for at least 10 years - how do you think that kind of relationships is going to work?... obviously that would be the end of our relationships(((... I do think about our marriage, everything what I think is charges and marriage...

Thanks for advice about immigration attorney, I will start looking for experienced one right away.
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#13 Kizana

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Posted 08 April 2011 - 09:03 PM

The law is so weird at times.

My son's father pushed me in the face and then jumped on my back, pushed me down onto a couch and choked me.

When I called the Cops, they said it was only harassment because I wasn't injured.

Next time I guess, i should make sure there is no couch.

All the best. I think your husband should just refuse to testify. The problem is you confessed.


Well.. you are probably right but I was not aware that woman would be arrested for slap on arm... and now I cannot take it back - I don;t want to get charges for lying in the court...
Thanks for you advices and for sharing your experience!
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2008-Sept-05 Got married! :)
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2011-Mar-23 Permanent Green Card

#14 Channah&Aaron

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Posted 08 April 2011 - 09:19 PM

; can you still get deported when you have a green card? :blink:
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#15 KittyPollitt

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Posted 08 April 2011 - 09:39 PM

; can you still get deported when you have a green card? :blink:


Any non citizen can be deported, if there is reason to.

To the OP- Jim is right, they cannot force your husband to testify against you. If they didn't read you your rights before your statement of what happened, they cannot use your admission of guilt against you either. Without your admission, and without your husband's testimony, they have no case at all. Talk to your lawyer about Miranda rights, and talk to your husband about pleading the fifth (not testifying or making a statement). You will be fine.
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