LlamaInvasion

You blatantly stated her behavior could be easily explained due to your Russian culture, and that everyone assuming she's a GC hunter is wrong. You "backed this up" by claiming her life in Russia was far better than it was in the US, with no real evidence pointing to it. You stated her cold behavior is typical of Russian women (really? Russian women resort to e-mail communications for no good reason, and won't let their husbands touch them even innocently? They prefer spending face-time with their laptop over their spouse?), and won't consider the cold, hard facts of the scenario the OP has presented: She's completely ignoring him, wants nothing to do with him, does not think marriage counseling applies to them, and suggested leaving all romantic and marital pretense behind for a sexual relationship. You seriously think that's a marriage?!
Actually, I answered that several posts back:
Is there a possibility she's not a GC hunter? Sure. But the chances are slim to none, considering her absolute refusal to take ANY steps to stay in the marriage (marriage counseling, direct communication, etc). If I'm wrong, why would she not have agreed to therapy?
The OP could start by looking further into this, and if she still refuses his advances to fix the marriage, divorce her. A spouse who does not wish to maintain a marriage, is not a spouse. His efforts so far doesn't exactly bode well. What would you have him do? Sit with his thumbs up his butt and wait and hope that one day she'll come running back into his arms, as she grows more and more distant and files for ROC? Other people have given great advice in this thread. The OP has already attempted to approach her to fix their marriage, and she has expressed NO interest in it! It's time to start digging for the alternative.
We don't know what she's chatting on the net about. We also don't know what her plans for the future are, if any. Go look at other threads, where people discovered their foreign spouse was actually chatting with, or even already sleeping with, someone else, preparing to move on as soon as they could remove conditions.
I hope you realize that depression has different symptoms, depending on the person. (And please don't play the culture card again and say "well, a Russian woman would display depression this way...") I was diagnosed with depression nearly a decade ago, and have been dealing with it ever since. My symptoms have not been anywhere near hers. My group therapy across two countries (both in Norway and America) has people who had symptoms at all ends of the spectrum. And unless you're an educated psychiatrist/psychologist AND have had this woman in therapy to know her story and perform a professional diagnose, you can't possibly dismiss her behavior with this conclusion.
Even if she IS depressed, blatant refusal of any approaches to fix their marriage is NOT helping her. A person who won't accept help, cannot be helped. She then needs to either start accepting the OP's insistence on therapy and communication to fix their marriage, or the OP needs to cut his ties. It's not fair to ask a person to sit around and endure the spouse's mental illness, if the spouse takes absolutely no steps to correct it, because it leads to intense misery on both sides, with absolutely no resolution. Trust me on this.
If she's truly depressed and willing to work on it, he should stay and help - but so far, she's not. It's time for her to receive a wake-up call, of what will happen if she does not actually start treating their marriage as a marriage.
That's one way of interpreting it. Or:
Living off the OP's money/child in tow, making connections via the internet/preparing to leave the OP as soon as she can for whatever purpose/the American dream so many seem to get tricked into thinking is real/plan is in motion, all she has to do is tough it out 'till she can remove conditions... Yeah, she couldn't possibly be using the OP for a green card.
The only relationships that DO start out with, "OK, I'll have sex with you for a GC," has both partners in on the scam, and one of them would then not be on VisaJourney, wondering what's up with his or her spouse when they grew distant.

You blatantly stated her behavior could be easily explained due to your Russian culture, and that everyone assuming she's a GC hunter is wrong. You "backed this up" by claiming her life in Russia was far better than it was in the US, with no real evidence pointing to it. You stated her cold behavior is typical of Russian women (really? Russian women resort to e-mail communications for no good reason, and won't let their husbands touch them even innocently? They prefer spending face-time with their laptop over their spouse?), and won't consider the cold, hard facts of the scenario the OP has presented: She's completely ignoring him, wants nothing to do with him, does not think marriage counseling applies to them, and suggested leaving all romantic and marital pretense behind for a sexual relationship. You seriously think that's a marriage?!
Actually, I answered that several posts back:
Is there a possibility she's not a GC hunter? Sure. But the chances are slim to none, considering her absolute refusal to take ANY steps to stay in the marriage (marriage counseling, direct communication, etc). If I'm wrong, why would she not have agreed to therapy?
The OP could start by looking further into this, and if she still refuses his advances to fix the marriage, divorce her. A spouse who does not wish to maintain a marriage, is not a spouse. His efforts so far doesn't exactly bode well. What would you have him do? Sit with his thumbs up his butt and wait and hope that one day she'll come running back into his arms, as she grows more and more distant and files for ROC? Other people have given great advice in this thread. The OP has already attempted to approach her to fix their marriage, and she has expressed NO interest in it! It's time to start digging for the alternative.
We don't know what she's chatting on the net about. We also don't know what her plans for the future are, if any. Go look at other threads, where people discovered their foreign spouse was actually chatting with, or even already sleeping with, someone else, preparing to move on as soon as they could remove conditions.
I hope you realize that depression has different symptoms, depending on the person. (And please don't play the culture card again and say "well, a Russian woman would display depression this way...") I was diagnosed with depression nearly a decade ago, and have been dealing with it ever since. My symptoms have not been anywhere near hers. My group therapy across two countries (both in Norway and America) has people who had symptoms at all ends of the spectrum. And unless you're an educated psychiatrist/psychologist AND have had this woman in therapy to know her story and perform a professional diagnose, you can't possibly dismiss her behavior with this conclusion.
Even if she IS depressed, blatant refusal of any approaches to fix their marriage is NOT helping her. A person who won't accept help, cannot be helped. She then needs to either start accepting the OP's insistence on therapy and communication to fix their marriage, or the OP needs to cut his ties. It's not fair to ask a person to sit around and endure the spouse's mental illness, if the spouse takes absolutely no steps to correct it, because it leads to intense misery on both sides, with absolutely no resolution. Trust me on this.
If she's truly depressed and willing to work on it, he should stay and help - but so far, she's not. It's time for her to receive a wake-up call, of what will happen if she does not actually start treating their marriage as a marriage.
That's one way of interpreting it. Or:
Living off the OP's money/child in tow, making connections via the internet/preparing to leave the OP as soon as she can for whatever purpose/the American dream so many seem to get tricked into thinking is real/plan is in motion, all she has to do is tough it out 'till she can remove conditions... Yeah, she couldn't possibly be using the OP for a green card.
The only relationships that DO start out with, "OK, I'll have sex with you for a GC," has both partners in on the scam, and one of them would then not be on VisaJourney, wondering what's up with his or her spouse when they grew distant.

I'd like to think watching a movie or a TV show about how the actual immigration progress works, would be something akin to reading all those long, drawn-out, boring camping chapters in Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows; little to no action, and a whole lot of waiting. XD

Jumping to conclusions? You're basing your advice purely on your culture, and not on what the OP has told us.

How do you know she knows this? And that still doesn't rule out other ulterior motives for wanting to get into this country, that we can't possibly speculate on because we don't know her whole story.
Absolutely NOT every time, as far as I've seen! Look around this forum! Plenty of people getting help on how to maintain their status because they entered the marriage in good faith. People post here about counseling, about ups and downs, and sometimes about divorces, yes, but not every thread from a USC about marital problems turns into a "your spouse is using you!" conclusion. I can think of several threads off the top of my head, made my USCs, where they were given great advice on how to deal with their foreign spouses and marital problems/problems adjusting to life here in America.
The conclusion that this woman is blatantly using the OP does not come from any stereotype about Russian women, foreign spouses, or any other such things - it comes from reading how she treats him, how she insists on communicating with him despite his efforts to resolve things in the most sensible way (through proper communication and counseling), and her very specific wording in those communications. Making a good living? The OP never mentioned her income, I believe, but he did mention that she was in need of an "allowance" from her ex for living expenses. That does not sound like a good living. The OP also mentioned she had nothing to return to. Again, not indicative of having left behind a particularly sweet life. And we know absolutely nothing about her contacts in the US, beyond the fact that OP says she's a "social butterfly."
You're so willing to ignore the evidence we DO have (see above paragraph), in favor of trying so hard to find evidence of the contrary (her motives for scamming the OP) that doesn't exist in the scope of information we've been given. Smh, tbh.

A lot of people want to move to the US without there being any specific "gain" that's obvious to anyone who doesn't know all the specifics of their situation and life. Not to mention, if she retains her GC, in three years she could apply for citizenship, and then continue to petition others (even maybe marry/remarry her ex and bring him here). Just because you don't see any gain, doesn't mean there are none, because we don't know her story (and it appears, neither does the OP).
I'm not even going to get into the idiocy of your stereotypes.
There IS an alternative to her being a scammer, but she's refused the OP's advances to try to rectify it. Re-read Jim's posts, where he quotes the specific parts about her e-mail that makes it blatantly clear: She is using the OP.

Jumping to conclusions? You're basing your advice purely on your culture, and not on what the OP has told us.

I'd like to think watching a movie or a TV show about how the actual immigration progress works, would be something akin to reading all those long, drawn-out, boring camping chapters in Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows; little to no action, and a whole lot of waiting. XD

Jumping to conclusions? You're basing your advice purely on your culture, and not on what the OP has told us.

How do you know she knows this? And that still doesn't rule out other ulterior motives for wanting to get into this country, that we can't possibly speculate on because we don't know her whole story.
Absolutely NOT every time, as far as I've seen! Look around this forum! Plenty of people getting help on how to maintain their status because they entered the marriage in good faith. People post here about counseling, about ups and downs, and sometimes about divorces, yes, but not every thread from a USC about marital problems turns into a "your spouse is using you!" conclusion. I can think of several threads off the top of my head, made my USCs, where they were given great advice on how to deal with their foreign spouses and marital problems/problems adjusting to life here in America.
The conclusion that this woman is blatantly using the OP does not come from any stereotype about Russian women, foreign spouses, or any other such things - it comes from reading how she treats him, how she insists on communicating with him despite his efforts to resolve things in the most sensible way (through proper communication and counseling), and her very specific wording in those communications. Making a good living? The OP never mentioned her income, I believe, but he did mention that she was in need of an "allowance" from her ex for living expenses. That does not sound like a good living. The OP also mentioned she had nothing to return to. Again, not indicative of having left behind a particularly sweet life. And we know absolutely nothing about her contacts in the US, beyond the fact that OP says she's a "social butterfly."
You're so willing to ignore the evidence we DO have (see above paragraph), in favor of trying so hard to find evidence of the contrary (her motives for scamming the OP) that doesn't exist in the scope of information we've been given. Smh, tbh.

Your mindset is totally misguided.
The US government doesn't care how much hardship you endure. You are a foreigner, in the US without authorization. On top of this, you have been convicted of not 1, not 2, but 3 felonies, and you've been making babies like a rabbit with different women without concern to the well-being of these children, which should be your main responsibility in life. Uncle Sam has no interest to see you staying in this country, nor do the American people in general. I'm sorry if this sounds harsh, but that's the reality you'll have to accept.
The only reason an I-601 waiver would be approved is if your wife can show that she will endure extreme hardship if you can't return to the US before 2021 or 2022. She will also have to prove that it is fairly impossible to live with you, her loving husband to whom she pledged to share a life with come hell or high water, in your country of citizenship or residence. While it is possible to prove this, I'm not even sure if the 3 felony convictions you have don't make you a persona non grata and thus ineligible to ever set foot on US soil again. It really depends on the crimes themselves. Your case really demands that you get in touch with a competent immigration attorney and see if there's anything that can be done, which I, frankly, doubt very much.

The hardship has to be with the person who is petitioner, since you do not have any children with your wife, I am not sure you can use your 6 kids as the hardship, the hardship has to be directly upon your wife, not your children
Good luck
PS - consulte a lawyer, before you do anything

How do you know she knows this? And that still doesn't rule out other ulterior motives for wanting to get into this country, that we can't possibly speculate on because we don't know her whole story.
Absolutely NOT every time, as far as I've seen! Look around this forum! Plenty of people getting help on how to maintain their status because they entered the marriage in good faith. People post here about counseling, about ups and downs, and sometimes about divorces, yes, but not every thread from a USC about marital problems turns into a "your spouse is using you!" conclusion. I can think of several threads off the top of my head, made my USCs, where they were given great advice on how to deal with their foreign spouses and marital problems/problems adjusting to life here in America.
The conclusion that this woman is blatantly using the OP does not come from any stereotype about Russian women, foreign spouses, or any other such things - it comes from reading how she treats him, how she insists on communicating with him despite his efforts to resolve things in the most sensible way (through proper communication and counseling), and her very specific wording in those communications. Making a good living? The OP never mentioned her income, I believe, but he did mention that she was in need of an "allowance" from her ex for living expenses. That does not sound like a good living. The OP also mentioned she had nothing to return to. Again, not indicative of having left behind a particularly sweet life. And we know absolutely nothing about her contacts in the US, beyond the fact that OP says she's a "social butterfly."
You're so willing to ignore the evidence we DO have (see above paragraph), in favor of trying so hard to find evidence of the contrary (her motives for scamming the OP) that doesn't exist in the scope of information we've been given. Smh, tbh.

How do you know she knows this? And that still doesn't rule out other ulterior motives for wanting to get into this country, that we can't possibly speculate on because we don't know her whole story.
Absolutely NOT every time, as far as I've seen! Look around this forum! Plenty of people getting help on how to maintain their status because they entered the marriage in good faith. People post here about counseling, about ups and downs, and sometimes about divorces, yes, but not every thread from a USC about marital problems turns into a "your spouse is using you!" conclusion. I can think of several threads off the top of my head, made my USCs, where they were given great advice on how to deal with their foreign spouses and marital problems/problems adjusting to life here in America.
The conclusion that this woman is blatantly using the OP does not come from any stereotype about Russian women, foreign spouses, or any other such things - it comes from reading how she treats him, how she insists on communicating with him despite his efforts to resolve things in the most sensible way (through proper communication and counseling), and her very specific wording in those communications. Making a good living? The OP never mentioned her income, I believe, but he did mention that she was in need of an "allowance" from her ex for living expenses. That does not sound like a good living. The OP also mentioned she had nothing to return to. Again, not indicative of having left behind a particularly sweet life. And we know absolutely nothing about her contacts in the US, beyond the fact that OP says she's a "social butterfly."
You're so willing to ignore the evidence we DO have (see above paragraph), in favor of trying so hard to find evidence of the contrary (her motives for scamming the OP) that doesn't exist in the scope of information we've been given. Smh, tbh.

How do you know she knows this? And that still doesn't rule out other ulterior motives for wanting to get into this country, that we can't possibly speculate on because we don't know her whole story.
Absolutely NOT every time, as far as I've seen! Look around this forum! Plenty of people getting help on how to maintain their status because they entered the marriage in good faith. People post here about counseling, about ups and downs, and sometimes about divorces, yes, but not every thread from a USC about marital problems turns into a "your spouse is using you!" conclusion. I can think of several threads off the top of my head, made my USCs, where they were given great advice on how to deal with their foreign spouses and marital problems/problems adjusting to life here in America.
The conclusion that this woman is blatantly using the OP does not come from any stereotype about Russian women, foreign spouses, or any other such things - it comes from reading how she treats him, how she insists on communicating with him despite his efforts to resolve things in the most sensible way (through proper communication and counseling), and her very specific wording in those communications. Making a good living? The OP never mentioned her income, I believe, but he did mention that she was in need of an "allowance" from her ex for living expenses. That does not sound like a good living. The OP also mentioned she had nothing to return to. Again, not indicative of having left behind a particularly sweet life. And we know absolutely nothing about her contacts in the US, beyond the fact that OP says she's a "social butterfly."
You're so willing to ignore the evidence we DO have (see above paragraph), in favor of trying so hard to find evidence of the contrary (her motives for scamming the OP) that doesn't exist in the scope of information we've been given. Smh, tbh.

There's a lot of conjecture going on, but I keep coming back to this one statement. This isn't ambiguous, and can't be explained away by cultural differences. "Nothing to restore"? "Artificial strain"? "Act like what we ware not"? She doesn't consider this marriage to be genuine. She never did. She apparently thought he understood this, as well. The deal, in her mind, was two years of occasional sex in return for a ten year green card.
If anyone still has any doubts, I ask you to pretend for a moment that the OP married the American girl next door, and she was behaving like the OP's wife, and she sent him the comment quoted above. Would you have any doubt that the marriage was a sham in her mind?

If you've brought up the issues and suggested marriage counseling like you say, and she still is unresponsive (e-mails you back? #######?), then it's time to give it up. This whole thing does look fishy, considering the time line for when she started acting weird.
A divorce doesn't automatically mean she'd have to return to her home country, but if she is really using you for a green card, she might.
You say there's nothing for her to return to - like someone else says, she had a life before coming here, she can return to that life.
If you signed the affidavit of support, you will retain that financial responsibility for her if she stays and removes conditions.
Your options at this point, I would say either she agrees to actually start working on the marriage and teat it as a damn marriage (right now, with her proposal of being friends who have sex, it makes it sound like she's willing to ####### herself out as long as it keeps herself in the country, and keeps you desperate enough not to do anything about it), or borrow money from someone for a divorce. Either way, her behavior is shifty, shitty and you shouldn't let it go on out of sympathy. At this point, even if she did agree to the counseling, I'd be suspicious.

Hi Lila!
First let me say, I really do feel for you. I've dealt with terrible hazing and bullying through all my years of school (I've switched schools many times because of this). I've also dealt with over a decade and a half of depression, social anxiety, panic attacks and isolation problems. At my worst, there was a period in 2004 when I didn't leave my apartment for over 6 months straight; not even out in the hallway to get the mail.
Like you, I thought coming to America would be a fresh start when I arrived here on a student visa in 2007. I felt bolder, better, leaving my past behind, and I was ready to make friends in American college. Be part of those groups of friends that hang out and have late-night study sessions in the library and car pool to the movies together.
However, after getting here? All those problems I dealt with at home still exist. I still have isolation issues and social anxiety. I went through 4 years of college in a very, very friendly town, without making a single friend. The ONLY way things have slowly - VERY slowly - started to change for me, is after I took the initiative to do so myself. My husband was one of the first people I dared peek out of my shell with. And after being with my husband for years now, I'm capable of greeting his siblings when we meet them - maybe even hold a conversation for short periods of time. The other day I asked a Wal-Mart employee for something I couldn't find, and it felt like I'd run a marathon afterwards. The only real difference is, I'm at least working on it - on my own initiative - and knowing that I'm getting better, that makes me happy.
In the end, the ONLY thing or person that can make your situation better, is yourself. You need to take the first step. I know it's tough, but try therapy. Explain immediately your issue, in letter form if you must, so that the therapist can understand if you fail to show up for an appointment, or need extra attention. Moving might provide you with a better setting to take that initiative, but I don't think you should be focused so much on the US. It won't magically fix things, and it's certainly no "quick fix." A change of scenery might be great, but I'd really open my mind to exploring all the options for where you can go. That doesn't necessarily mean you should completely give up; there are ways to get here - student visa and au pair has been suggested. However, I am absolutely, positively dead certain, the US is not the only place you can find that your confidence blossoms, so try to be open to other options.

We need a heckuva lot more details before we could give any sort of usable advice.
A motion to reopen can only be filed in response to a denial by a USCIS field office or service center, and only to attempt to reopen a case in which USCIS has jurisdiction. Your decision was made by an immigration judge, so a motion to reopen would not be accepted. In addition, the motion has to be filed within 30 days of receipt of the decision. It's been over two years since your husband's decision.
The Board of Immigration Appeals may have jurisdiction to accept an appeal. However, an EOIR-29 should have been filed within 30 days of the decision. Again, you've waited more than two years.
The actual step-by-step process you go through when you have a situation of this magnitude is beyond anything I've studied. All I have is a general understanding of the laws, and a sort of bird's eye view of the process. However, I do know from reading various legal decisions that Department of Homeland Security are obsessively ####### about "timely filed" motions and appeals, and they frequently refuse to hear cases because the window of opportunity to file a timely motion or appeal had long passed. It's possible that the only option you may have left is a civil suit in a federal appeals court.
Your house is on fire and you're talking on the internet with kids holding water pistols. You really need a well qualified immigration lawyer.

Au contraire! Though this is primarily a self-help website, when someone has a difficult immigration situation then the people on this forum regularly advise the counsel of a good immigration attorney. This is sound advice!
I would suggest one additional proviso: Be a very proactive client. Tell your attorney everything - and I mean everything - about your situation. A lawyer's guidance can change dramatically based on tiny but critical tidbits of information. It also infuriates them if they get hit with a surprise that their client knew all along. In addition, educate yourself as much as possible about the relevant laws. At every step of the way, you should know exactly what you're attorney is doing and why they are doing it. If something doesn't seem right then confront them on it, and make sure you agree with them before they proceed. Also, insist on reviewing any document or form they plan to submit before they submit it. You know the facts about your case better than they do, so you must help insure they get the details right.
Finally, expect that an attorney is going to blow a little smoke up your tailpipe. An attorney will frequently try to give you hope when there is none because, frankly, a client in trouble is their best source of revenue.

So the friend really is you. As with so many others who are in an illegal status, you're spending a lot of time and energy trying to convince everyone on VJ why your activities should be forgiven. But we are not the ones you have to convince. US immigrations is who you have to convince and as you have been told countless times, the fact that you claimed to be a US citizen numerous times since the age of 18, you now face a lifetime ban. Sorry if that is not what you want to hear, but that is a fact and you can't change it. At this point you have two choices. Return to your home country and try to make a life there or continue to live here illegally an hope you don't get caught. Personally I hope you return to your home. People doing things like what you are doing are what makes it so much harder for the rest of us who follow the rules and do things legally.

Hi Lila!
First let me say, I really do feel for you. I've dealt with terrible hazing and bullying through all my years of school (I've switched schools many times because of this). I've also dealt with over a decade and a half of depression, social anxiety, panic attacks and isolation problems. At my worst, there was a period in 2004 when I didn't leave my apartment for over 6 months straight; not even out in the hallway to get the mail.
Like you, I thought coming to America would be a fresh start when I arrived here on a student visa in 2007. I felt bolder, better, leaving my past behind, and I was ready to make friends in American college. Be part of those groups of friends that hang out and have late-night study sessions in the library and car pool to the movies together.
However, after getting here? All those problems I dealt with at home still exist. I still have isolation issues and social anxiety. I went through 4 years of college in a very, very friendly town, without making a single friend. The ONLY way things have slowly - VERY slowly - started to change for me, is after I took the initiative to do so myself. My husband was one of the first people I dared peek out of my shell with. And after being with my husband for years now, I'm capable of greeting his siblings when we meet them - maybe even hold a conversation for short periods of time. The other day I asked a Wal-Mart employee for something I couldn't find, and it felt like I'd run a marathon afterwards. The only real difference is, I'm at least working on it - on my own initiative - and knowing that I'm getting better, that makes me happy.
In the end, the ONLY thing or person that can make your situation better, is yourself. You need to take the first step. I know it's tough, but try therapy. Explain immediately your issue, in letter form if you must, so that the therapist can understand if you fail to show up for an appointment, or need extra attention. Moving might provide you with a better setting to take that initiative, but I don't think you should be focused so much on the US. It won't magically fix things, and it's certainly no "quick fix." A change of scenery might be great, but I'd really open my mind to exploring all the options for where you can go. That doesn't necessarily mean you should completely give up; there are ways to get here - student visa and au pair has been suggested. However, I am absolutely, positively dead certain, the US is not the only place you can find that your confidence blossoms, so try to be open to other options.

There is no international clearinghouse for marital records. Whether the previous marriage could come out in a background check depends very much on what sort of information was collected by each agency that collects information about people, and which of those agencies the US government has access to.
Your friends are naive and abundantly stupid for going through with this. There are documents, government records, and people that can confirm that the previous marriage exists. If USCIS ever receives any evidence from ANY of these sources then your friend will be hit with a material misrepresentation finding, her status will be revoked, and she will be removed from the US with a lifetime ban from ever returning. The threat of this happening will follow her for the rest of her life, even if she eventually becomes a US citizen.
Further, her new husband now has some serious blackmail evidence against her. If she ever crosses him and they end up divorcing then he can pull the plug on her life in the US with a single letter to USCIS.

Just want to point out another post recently where the person slipped through initially but when they applied to remove conditions the prior marriage was discovered. Just because they got away with it this time, the rest of her life she risks being discovered and losing all her benefits derived from the not-valid marriage.

Yeah, it's definitely sticking it to The Man to make a blanket attack upon VJ members and to make insinuations about the validity of U.S. citizens' marriages to people of particular national origins ... VJ is definitely The Man, individually and collectively!