Mr. K

It was a joke.
Minorities don't get more or less benefits than any other race. This country is predominantly white majority and the majority of those on welfare are white single mothers.
Welfare was created for white people. Blacks and ethnic minorities were denied the right to welfare until the end of the civil rights movement.
The fact is 27% of blacks live below the poverty line as opposed to only about 9% of whites.
If you qualify then you qualify regardless of what race you are and even if you don;t there are many agencies that will help you.
I wasnt trying to make you laugh. I thought it was ironic that you made that statement when you are engaged to a minority.

True love!!! (for a green card!)

Excellent foresight to have a spare lined up just in case of this eventuality.
She can marry, she can not adjust.

Wait, the petitioner died and the beneficiary is already wanting someone ELSE to petition for her?

Excellent points.
I love how you capitalize the first 2 letters of a word so often. I have seen it about 1000 times and it cracks me up each time. How do you do it? Do you hit the caps lock button and turn it off a letter late. Are you holding down the shift key a second too long? What is the deal?

I actually have been telling my fiance the same thing. And as Ghanaluv said its just to let him know the reality of what to expect. There are alot of issues in the U.S. other than finance, such as discrimination and alot less communial/caring society. It's not as family oriented either. Some Africans immigrate here and totally loose sense of family, values, and etc. People loose their kids to drugs, street life, etc.
To be honest I LOVE GHANA!!! and I was born in the U.S. everytime I go to Ghana I leave in TEARS (even before I met my fiance). Just for the fact that there are so many people are very loving and genuine in Ghana. and no one looks down on you because you are "black". The U.S. is very competitive and many Americans are very selfish, rude, and MEAN. America is a country more geared towards productivity and profit. Bottom line. Most people don't have time to be concerned for others. The stress levels and mental health issues tends to be higher in the U.S. than most third world countries, because many of us are so focues on working that we loose sight of what's really important. For example:
"There’s no argument that Monterrey, Mexico has serious problems like malnutrition, lack of education, high levels of corruption, poor civic development and questionable governance. And yet despite these seemingly immense hurdles, studies reported the highest level of happiness in the Americas during the year of our most exhaustive research (2008). Explanations include the happiness boost they receive from the high number of hours of sunlight; the personal sense of freedom of choice they experience; they nurture laughter; they intuitively understand the importance of social interaction; and they put their family first and appreciate the good around them."
For these reasons, I miss Ghana everyday! I feel so free there... In 10 years I'm planning to finish my military career and relocate to Ghana for good... We have a goal and that's what keeps me going. With all that being said, there are alot of opprotunities here. I believe most Ghanaians who come here do very well. They save their money and return back to GH to invest their intelligence, talents, and resources back into their homeland. Some adapt and stay. I think it all depends on what you value most. But for the moment, try to focus on the fact that you are building your life with your fiance. And you can get through everything if you support each other. It is not always easy... but what in life is?

Im sorry to hear about your problems, but before anything, you say you're married but talk about a K-1 Visa? Just clarify a bit on that please, K-1 are for fiancee (not yet married) couples. Perhaps you mistyped and it's K-3?
On the other hand, your responsibility is her and your son. She needs to understand that you cannot support her family, if she doesn't, then maybe she needs to reevaluate who comes first. Because to me, when you choose your partner in life, that's your #1.

Personally while I've had issues adjusting sometimes (feeling emotional, bored, lonely) I have never taken those things out on my husband or our relationship. He understands I get frustrated sometimes. I do not believe that "most couples go through" what your wife is doing... that said that I knew my husband VERY well and never kept my emotions/feelings etc from him. He too knows me very well and "what I'm about".
I do not believe your wife is having trouble adjusting. I believe that with her (many) friends and cousins around she is more than adequately supported emotionally. She has people to talk to. People who've gone through the same thing. That speak her language and understand the differences between here and "home". I believe that she is two-faced and is using you for a visa/greencard. I believe that she didn't realise what she was getting into and is now realising how hard it is. I think she hoped to have it before now and that you wouldn't have seen this side of her had she got the GC immediately, you would have seen her back instead.
Aside from that (because I could be wrong about the above because I'm just going from emotions and descriptions in your post), AOS is not something to be taken lightly. If they pay the filing fee, that allows you to file, it does not take care of the I-864. Even if they offered to be joint-sponsors YOU are still liable as the first sponsor, more-so than they are. You are responsible until she leaves the US and gives up her greencard, if she dies, if she becomes a USC or if she works 40 quarters (typically around 10 years sometimes more, sometimes less, but not much less).
If you are not sure, you're not sure and you should not rush it. As long as you married her in the 90 days her status is relatively safe (she fulfilled the requirements of the visa) but she still needs to file AOS as she can still be picked up by ICE officers.. not typically deported (I've never read a case of it, they just get told to file AOS) but the chance is always there (however minuscule). She is not 100% safe. she cannot get a drivers licence, she cannot get a job.
I think you need to ask yourself how you would feel supporting her while she lives in the US, IF she decides to leave you once the GC has been received. I suspect if you told her that you want a divorce that she will leave and hide out in the US. Would you report her? You need to consider sending her home without filing AOS and how you would feel if you no longer were together. If you take marriage out of the equation for a second and consider this a bf/gf relationship gone wrong, would your normally be okay with supporting your ex-gf for the next 10 years? Once you file that AOS you have no choice. If you decide to get married another time to another foreigner(bad to think about now but as an example) you would need to declare that you are sponsoring another I-864. That means you would need to have a household income level INCLUDING your ex-wife in the equation. It's a big obligation. Not to mention that you would be subjected to more scrutiny in that your previous marriage would look like a greencard marriage given it's duration and your attempt at another wife/fiancee "importation" (for example).
Best of luck with your decision.

My mom would never hit my dad, and no woman would ever hit me without consequences.
Kudos to the guy for sending her back.

This whole assumption that because she is a tiny woman she can hit a big, strong man and it will be okay is ridiculous. Maxx, you have no idea how big or small either of these people are. We don't even know the home country of the OP--maybe she is a power lifter from the Ukraine who hit a 5'2" man who immigrated here from the Phils. WE HAVE NO IDEA. So discounting this as being okay because she can't cause harm and he can is ridiculous. While I love the assumption that I don't know anything about this because I live in "ultraconservative suburbia," domestic violence is a problem everywhere, not just in urban areas (for the record, my area is neither ultraconservative nor suburban). It's unacceptable anywhere. Hitting someone is not okay--either the OP or the all-caps-typer, or anyone else. I resent the implication that because I don't advocate violence and I think it's unacceptable that I am out of touch with reality. Maybe you need to stop thinking of "little women" as not being able to cause harm. They do. Women beat their spouses and beat their children, and it is not okay just because they are women.

My mom would never hit my dad, and no woman would ever hit me without consequences.
Kudos to the guy for sending her back.

My mom would never hit my dad, and no woman would ever hit me without consequences.
Kudos to the guy for sending her back.

Abuse is abuse. A slap is abuse. I don't get how a woman is allowed to slap a man and they don't realise they are a husband-beater, yet a man grabbing a womens arm or shoving a woman is abuse and he'll get reported to police.
You yourself stated that he never hit you. He verbally abused you yes, he was rude yes, but that does NOT give you the right to assault him. He should have had you arrested for spousal abuse and maybe a night in jail would change your mind about being proud of being a husband-beater. You should have left him rather than hit him. It doesn't matter how much kindness you gave him before, in the end YOU hit him and that is all you will be remembered for, spousal abuse. You should be ashamed, not proud. You would have something to be proud of if you had left him and overcome his verbal abuse, instead now you're just the woman that likes to hit men.

Please don't get an abortion! Does babies are more important than any GC or Naturalization. You don't have to be in this country to have a good life with your children. You and your baby's father can move to your home country if that's what it comes down to. YOUR BABIES COME FIRST!

He probably didnt tell her right then that he wanted her to leave because he was afraid she would lose control again. He thought about it overnight and talked to his best friend and everyone told him to get this unstable person out of your house.
I am sorry you hit him and now regret it, but you fiance has also suffered much humiliation as well. He is being laughed at by many of his casual friends and is out a ton of money and time to get you here. In only two weeks you claim he was non supportive of you emotionally, took advantage of you sexually and enraged you to the point of violence.
You both lost equally....you are both where you should be...apart from each other.

A. You Hit your Husband.
B. You will do it again, and again, and again. And your violence will only escalate in the future
C. You have anger Issues
D. If I was your Husband I would have you on a plane back to your home country so fast it would make your head swim

Omg this is the worst thing to read in this forum,i think its your fault to have hit him. It was not even one month and u knew he was not adjusting with u and u slapped him? It takes years to adjust,u can't expect your fiance to change in one days notice.Take your time to understand what marriage is all about. It ain't that easy.And honestly i don't think it was easy for him also to get u your K1 visa, he worked equally hard to get u one and then u must have done something really wrong that he had to forget all of it and send u back home. We r hearing one side of the story. U still love him cos He must not have done something real bad to u,he is not in love with u anymore and could send u home cos may b u HAVE done something real bad to him.More than u, i think he is hurt and must be feeling stupid about all the waiting he did for u.

You were only there two weeks and you hit him? That is not enough time to give a man to adjust his living situation, what did you expect from him?
Honestly he did what was best given the situation.
Understand this, in america if a man hits a woman its made out to be a HUGE deal and he could get into serious trouble. If he hit you and you called the police he would be treated horribly.
If you hit him and he calls the police the police officers will laugh at him.
When it comes to women the justice system is always in their favor here. By striking him after two weeks of being in the US you give him the impression that that is the type of person you are and he then had to think about his future with you. How would he react the second time? This time he did not hit you back, next time he might, and if you call the police, he will be the one going to jail most likely.
Like i said, you gave him no choice when you put your hands on him after two weeks, a few years ok thats different.
If I was married to my SO for 5 years and she one day blew up and hit me then i would take it as i deserved it.
If i wasnt marrieeed to my SO and after two weeks of her being here seh hit me I would prolly have a sit down with her and give her a second chance after explaining to her what is and isnt expected during an argument, as she has never been in a serious relationship before and im 10 years her senior with a marriage and kid under my belt.
He chose to not take the chance.
With relationships like many of us here you really have to think alot more when things you dont expect happen.

I believe that people get married for various reasons and love isn't always the primary one, pragmatically speaking. In fact, the idea of love based marriages is fairly a new concept in the history of matrimony. Does that make these relationships any less bonafide? I don't think so.
Money or economic security are inseparable from most marriages, domestic or foreign. How much they influence the courtship comes down to each couple, but for a woman who is from a developing country, the U.S. is still largely seen as being paved in gold, and compared to many poorer countries, that is true.
If a middle-aged guy who doesn't have the kind of wealth to bag an American trophy wife, goes looking for her through an international dating site, what's the harm? If they are both mature adults and they both know why they have met, should it really matter if their marriage is based more on financial security than love? I don't see why it should.

It's used more figuratively than literally. Just like a trophy wife doesn't mean she is literally a trophy her man keeps on his trophy shelf.

I spoke with my fiancee about this before she arrived in the U.S. I was concerned that her family members would be hitting her up for money too much, and I wasn't going to have that. We came up with a certain amount (less than half of what you mentioned) to send only to her mother per month and I expect her to honor that agreement, unless we become very wealthy at some time. And that is due to the fact that we also plan to establish a presence in Ghana and maintain a U.S. residence in the future as well.
If it takes a village to raise a child, then one person sure as hell should not be expected to support a village. The perception is that the streets in the U.S. are paved with gold and everybody is swimming in money. Too many Ghanaians believe this hype, probably due to television.

It's going to get worse belinda63. Most Americans are deluded, operating on a fantasy about American Exceptionalism instead of paying attention to what is actually happening. They think that just because it is America, we must be free people with more rights than anywhere else in the world, and as the Chosen People it will never change. They don't have an appreciation for why America had more freedom - those principles embodied in the constitution that are increasingly suspended.
An important part of this delusion is thinking that despite more than thirty million illegal aliens in the USA at this time, that the police-state thugs interrogating the law-abiding at the border are even remotely effective. Whenever you hear people excusing this police-state behavior you know they live in some fantasy bubble where all the government has to do is say that it is for a good reason, and they're satisfied. They don't even want to look at any evidence that it is effective because their delusional views are too precious to their ego. They get angry when you point out how ridiculously ineffective it is.
We often hear people saying they are glad the government treats the law-abiding like criminals because it is keeping the thirty million illegal aliens that are here from entering. Those thirty million simply avoided the line the law-abiding must stand in. The police state thugs love a line of innocent sheep that will meekly obey every command. Why go out into the hot desert to stop what you know is 100% illegal entry by people potentially dangerous when you can have a nice cushy air-conditioned environment where you are the only person armed, every square inch is under your control, and less than 1% are criminals?
That's why the government sets up speed traps to ambush the regular citizens while allocating insufficient manpower to unsolved murders, rapes, assaults, etc.
I was entering in LA and seeing everyone with a laptop go through extremely invasive interrogations as they went through pictures on their computers. The guy in front of me was standing in front of a bed of flowers in one photo and the officer kept hounding him about it. Re-asking the same questions, expressing suspicion and doubt. I don't take any kind of computer or thumb drive if I can help it now because I got tired of these searches.
I was in the middle of a hostile interrogation from a border thug who was very envious that I travelled a lot, demanding to know more about my business and how I could run a business and still be able to travel, how much money I made to be able to do it, demanding I show him evidence of my business on the computer...
But there was an American in the next line who was questioning why they were doing such extensive interrogations of people - and every border guard in the area swarmed upon him. Mine left me to join the shark attack, which I was relieved about, but they strong-armed this guy into a room. The only thing he had done was question why they were being so invasive, but he was cooperating.
While they were forcing him into this room they were telling him loudly enough for eveyone to hear that the treatment by U.S. border officials was better than anywhere else in the world - that he should be grateful this was not China or some other place. As he was being roughed-up and forced into the room he was responding that he had been through China, Russia, Japan, Korea, etc, and no border people were worse than the USA. "Just look at what you are doing to me..."
He was absolutely right. Anyone looking at this had to be impressed at how delusional these thugs were, preening about how grateful the guy should be for being treated this way by his own government.
A couple of hours later I ran into him because we were taking the same flight to Seattle. He was extremely shaken by the experience. They had strip-searched him in there, including cavity search, and basically terrorized him because he dared to ask questions.
That action would be taken as sexual assault if it had been perpetrated by him on someone else. But because the government was doing it by force upon an innocent citizen, it is perfectly OK. That is how backwards and delusional our thinking is.
Most places I enter there are no questions, no searching - nothing. It is only the USA - my own country - that interrogates me and searches my stuff.
I have never seen border people do that to anyone except the USA. I even overstayed my visa in Russia once because my secretary had filled out the application to come home on the day my visa expired - but it was one day later in Russia as it was across the international date line.
The Russians asked me about it, but they were polite, courteous, and understanding. If I had been exiting from the USA, I would have been handcuffed.
My Fiance was interrogated when she entered. The border guys were very rude, asking in detail about sexual relations, and saying she really should be with them instead of me. Here again, these people can behave like lewd peeping Toms simply because they wear a government-issued costume.
Just watch though. Historically all empires become increasingly vicious and paranoid. Everything the USA is doing with respect to foreign policy, immigration, and domestic police-state spying is moving in that direction instead of getting better.

Since when have we so willingly given up our rights. You are a US citizen returning to your country. The only things you have to do is permit them to verify your customs form vs. what you have and show proof of citizenship. I really wish the US government would read the Constitution. Land of the oppressed and home of the timid.

See bold above. First, you didn't see anybody say that because it isn't true. It's actually worse. Nobody packs them on the plane and sends them back. They are responsible for leaving the USA on their own. The consequence of not doing so, is they become illegal aliens who when they DO leave, (after overstayihng six months or more) face a ban on re-entry of three or ten years depending on how long they overstay.
It gets more risky yet, if they decide to go ahead and marry just to get the green card, then end the marriage before they remove conditions. To get conditions removed and get full permanent residence, they must convince an adjudicator they entered the marriage in good faith, not just that they entered the USA in good faith. Strait talk is not rude. Mincing words and giving false hope is the ultimate rudeness.
Life happens and people change their minds and/or behavior but the K1 is a fiance(e) visa, not a trial relationship visa. Buyer beware. Make your plans and decisions wisely, then handle the results like an adult.

wow, your blood pressure is going, take it easy man nobody said this is a peace of cake,thousands of people are in the same boat,just have to wait