AOS IS ABSOLUTE TORTURE

[Filipina35 0]

Ok...I know I'm not the first and I won't be the last, but I need to vent before my head explodes. I'm so sick and tired of waiting during this adjustment of status. It's been 6 months since I moved in with my then fiance, now husband. 6 months being unemployed, for the first time in my life. He doesn't have many friends, so by extension I have no friends. ZERO. Initially it was fun being home all day. I had just resigned a very stressful job, and was happy to just breathe and do absolutely nothing. Then all the researching to file for AOS was exciting and helped absorb my free time. But now, I'm just on the internet every day, playing games, checking facebook, checking "touches" on USCIS website. Over and over and over. I think I'm losing it.

I mean, is it really necessary for this process to be so shrouded in mystery? How on earth could it be fair for applicants to never really know what's going on or when anything will happen? Why is it that at NO point during the process you could rest assured that all is well? I mean, this process is just cruel to put it mildly. I spend all morning like a looney checking the time to see how much longer before mail is delivered. My heart literally races when I open the mailbox. And sinks in my toe when it's only bills, or nothing at all. Then I'm sour all afternoon and wake up the next morning with a renewed ray of hope, and do the same thing all over again. Talk about stress.

It's christmas time. We're not rich. My husband has a ton of gifts to buy for his family and he's stretched thin financially. I can't even go buy myself something. I can't even go window-shopping during the day because there is virtually no public transit system and I don't have a car, obviously. Just STUCK...INDEFINITELY. I wonder how ppl cope with being denied after all this? My God, I would absolutely die. They tell you sign up to get updates about your case but it's unreliable and even if updated, non-specific. Can't they at least make sure that's working? So uncaring and inconsiderate.

Do you mean to tell me that USCIS don't understand how important information is to ppl like us? To at least calm nerves? I read posts on here..all the theories about why a case was moved to here or there...and just keep asking myself why on earth these things aren't stated. It's almost 1am...I usually don't ramble like this but just typing as it comes to my head so please forgive me. This process is not just stressful to me. It puts a strain on the relationship too. Because not only my husband can't tell me for sure when my torture will be over, he also doesn't know when I'll be able to work to make things easier on he, himself. I need comfort...he needs comfort. Nobody knows what to tell the other because almighty USCIS calls the shots, and messes with thousands and thousands of people's mental health UNNECCESARILY.

The process could be easier...the tracking could make more sense...but they choose not to. I want to volunteer just to get out of the house but the same problem keeps coming up...I need a car..I need a car...I need a car. I'm dependent to eat, dependent for clothes, dependent for recreation, dependent for mobility. MADNESS for someone who had all those things only months ago. I'm done rearranging the house over and over. The cook, laundry, clean, cook, laundry, clean routine has become old. I have a headache all day worrying about when this will end. I'm at the stage of waiting for my EAD, AP and interview lettter. Bio done. I keep my phone off because every text i get makes me anxious hoping it's from USCIS only to be dissapointed. So I check on my own timing. I'm so sour about this even our intimacy is suffering because I'm always in a bad mood. SIGH. Anyway, thanks for taking the time to read. Foreign spouses feel free to tell me how you're passing the time during this craziness. Maybe we could exchange emails and im to keep one another's company.

[jkelly07 120]

wow, your blood pressure is going, take it easy man nobody said this is a peace of cake,thousands of people are in the same boat,just have to wait

[melbergs 1]

Ok...I know I'm not the first and I won't be the last, but I need to vent before my head explodes. I'm so sick and tired of waiting during this adjustment of status. It's been 6 months since I moved in with my then fiance, now husband. 6 months being unemployed, for the first time in my life. He doesn't have many friends, so by extension I have no friends. ZERO. Initially it was fun being home all day. I had just resigned a very stressful job, and was happy to just breathe and do absolutely nothing. Then all the researching to file for AOS was exciting and helped absorb my free time. But now, I'm just on the internet every day, playing games, checking facebook, checking "touches" on USCIS website. Over and over and over. I think I'm losing it.

I mean, is it really necessary for this process to be so shrouded in mystery? How on earth could it be fair for applicants to never really know what's going on or when anything will happen? Why is it that at NO point during the process you could rest assured that all is well? I mean, this process is just cruel to put it mildly. I spend all morning like a looney checking the time to see how much longer before mail is delivered. My heart literally races when I open the mailbox. And sinks in my toe when it's only bills, or nothing at all. Then I'm sour all afternoon and wake up the next morning with a renewed ray of hope, and do the same thing all over again. Talk about stress.

It's christmas time. We're not rich. My husband has a ton of gifts to buy for his family and he's stretched thin financially. I can't even go buy myself something. I can't even go window-shopping during the day because there is virtually no public transit system and I don't have a car, obviously. Just STUCK...INDEFINITELY. I wonder how ppl cope with being denied after all this? My God, I would absolutely die. They tell you sign up to get updates about your case but it's unreliable and even if updated, non-specific. Can't they at least make sure that's working? So uncaring and inconsiderate.

Do you mean to tell me that USCIS don't understand how important information is to ppl like us? To at least calm nerves? I read posts on here..all the theories about why a case was moved to here or there...and just keep asking myself why on earth these things aren't stated. It's almost 1am...I usually don't ramble like this but just typing as it comes to my head so please forgive me. This process is not just stressful to me. It puts a strain on the relationship too. Because not only my husband can't tell me for sure when my torture will be over, he also doesn't know when I'll be able to work to make things easier on he, himself. I need comfort...he needs comfort. Nobody knows what to tell the other because almighty USCIS calls the shots, and messes with thousands and thousands of people's mental health UNNECCESARILY.

The process could be easier...the tracking could make more sense...but they choose not to. I want to volunteer just to get out of the house but the same problem keeps coming up...I need a car..I need a car...I need a car. I'm dependent to eat, dependent for clothes, dependent for recreation, dependent for mobility. MADNESS for someone who had all those things only months ago. I'm done rearranging the house over and over. The cook, laundry, clean, cook, laundry, clean routine has become old. I have a headache all day worrying about when this will end. I'm at the stage of waiting for my EAD, AP and interview lettter. Bio done. I keep my phone off because every text i get makes me anxious hoping it's from USCIS only to be dissapointed. So I check on my own timing. I'm so sour about this even our intimacy is suffering because I'm always in a bad mood. SIGH. Anyway, thanks for taking the time to read. Foreign spouses feel free to tell me how you're passing the time during this craziness. Maybe we could exchange emails and im to keep one another's company.

I really understand your situation I also feel that way, so tired of waiting but sooner o later you will received good news...right now I slowly understanding our situation especially money, I also talk and going out with my friends sometimes I blamed my husband why like this or like that, even though I got my GC nothing change because I could't drive.lolI'm just thinking maybe there is a reason for everything...

[pookaphilus 12]

wow, your blood pressure is going, take it easy man nobody said this is a peace of cake,thousands of people are in the same boat,just have to wait

:thumbs: ...worth the wait!!!...I'm back into painting again(was a teacher in the Philippines)!!..it really helps me..I'm very thankful that my husband works here @ home so I'm not really sad or bored at all..try to find and start some hobby..cross-stitching or crochet maybe..or you can do volunteer jobs near your area..have a good day..God bless!!

[RICARDO4EVA2 194]

i know the wait can be a killer... you then run outaa things to do.

[JimVaPhuong 4,863]

I know this isn't going to be much consolation, but it might help put things in perspective for you.

USCIS receives between 300,000 and 500,000 various immigration benefit applications every month. Yes, that's every month. Imagine what it's like to work at an agency that processes the equivalent of every person in the city of Los Angeles every single year. Do they care about your specific case? Nope. Not in the least. Sorry.

Seriously, there are a lot of people who don't go to work every day and manage to lead meaningful lives. You need to find something more fulfilling to focus your energy on. Getting your green card should be one item in a laundry list of things you want and need to do, and not the entire focus of your existence. You obviously have access to a computer, and I'm sure there's some field you want to be able to work in once you get your green card. Why not use your computer to learn more about your career field. Maybe even become an expert. The time will pass a lot more quickly, and you'll actually get something out of it that will be useful to you in the future.

[bimik 4]

I am sorry to hear what you are going through. I also had a very busy lifestyle before moving to US and in the beggining it was great to relax a little bit. But then it can definetely get boring to sit at home. So I understand you. Just use your free time wisely, try to get ready for job market in US. In my case, I need to do a lot of reading. Watch some positive shows online and try not to check your status every other second. Eveything will be ok. I just had my AOS interview and received my greencard, I am sure everything will be fine in your case too. Just be natural on the day of the interview and everything will go awesome.

Good Luck

[Mike&Cherry 45]

I'm sorry to hear that your experiencing difficult times. Just remember one thing, that at least you are both together. Many of us cannot even spend Christmas with our SO becuase we are in different countries. Unfortunately the government slows downs around the holidays. You'd figure with the ridiculously high processing fees that they would hire more employees to speed up the process. And the fact that they put CR-1 and K-1 petions at the bottom of their priority list is horrible. We should be near the top of the list. It's so difficult to be apart from each other especially during the holidays, but immigration could care less. But at least your with your husband right now. If you guys are strapped for cash you should just explain to your husbands family that there should be a spending limit on presents or give no presents this year. If you can't afford Christmas gifts, just don't buy anything or just get something small. Christmas is also just being together with your families. I don't know if you are religious or not, but if you are you should go to the church to volunteer, but also make good friends who you can talk to, who will support you and help you make it through these difficult times. Also you could go online to search for any local Filipino groups or organizations or community centers where you can meet fellow filipinas who may have a similar experience that you can relate to. Also you should try to get involved in your town/city activities or actually volunteer your time with the Recreation department where once again you will make new friends. Just staying in the house all day will make you stri crazy and is not going to help anything. You need to get out of the house often. If you don't have a license or a car you should then figure out the local public transportation. There's many things to do and many friends to make, but you have to get yourself out of the house to search for them. No one will know who you are if you stay inside all day; you'll never make friends that way. To be stuck in suspense for waiting for your greencard, I'm sure is not pleasant. But remember as long as you and you husband are a legit couple and followed the requirements and sent in the required evidence, then you shouldn't have any problems getting approved. Also you should be searching for jobs. I know that you can't work right now, but you should still see what's out there so you can be prepared for when you are legally alllowed to work. Well anyways I wish you good luck and hope thiungs start to get better. Your in a slump right now and the only direction you can go is up. So stay positive knowing that at least you are both together and that everything will start to get much better soon. Take care and God Bless.

[Mike&Cherry 45]

Also maybe you can volunteer your time in something that is already related to your previous work experience. Just something else that you can add onto your resume.

[Filipina35 0]

I really understand your situation I also feel that way, so tired of waiting but sooner o later you will received good news...right now I slowly understanding our situation especially money, I also talk and going out with my friends sometimes I blamed my husband why like this or like that, even though I got my GC nothing change because I could't drive.lolI'm just thinking maybe there is a reason for everything...

Thanks for your advice. I'm also struggling to understand the money issue too, with the big currency difference. When he's fretting about spending $500 I don't get it lol. Everything seems cheap to me and it's hard to truly agree with him that something can't be afforded.

:thumbs: ...worth the wait!!!...I'm back into painting again(was a teacher in the Philippines)!!..it really helps me..I'm very thankful that my husband works here @ home so I'm not really sad or bored at all..try to find and start some hobby..cross-stitching or crochet maybe..or you can do volunteer jobs near your area..have a good day..God bless!!

Lucky you indeed! I'm not a crotchet person though but I get your drift.

i know the wait can be a killer... you then run outaa things to do.

Yup...I wish there was a 2 month sleeping pill!

[Filipina35 0]

I know this isn't going to be much consolation, but it might help put things in perspective for you.

USCIS receives between 300,000 and 500,000 various immigration benefit applications every month. Yes, that's every month. Imagine what it's like to work at an agency that processes the equivalent of every person in the city of Los Angeles every single year. Do they care about your specific case? Nope. Not in the least. Sorry.

Seriously, there are a lot of people who don't go to work every day and manage to lead meaningful lives. You need to find something more fulfilling to focus your energy on. Getting your green card should be one item in a laundry list of things you want and need to do, and not the entire focus of your existence. You obviously have access to a computer, and I'm sure there's some field you want to be able to work in once you get your green card. Why not use your computer to learn more about your career field. Maybe even become an expert. The time will pass a lot more quickly, and you'll actually get something out of it that will be useful to you in the future.

Ditto@ I'm one of thousands. I stated that first and foremost. As I said it's not so much the wait, but the unanswered questions about the application's status. I've done so much to kill time but I'm running out of ideas. I've bookmarked and researched everything I need to do when the process is over. Perused courses I want to take and read up the syllabus etc. Researched the car I'm gonna get. Read the dmv manual cover to cover. Painted the entire interior of the house by myself! Bought a guitar to learn to play but apparently it's not as easy as it looked! And I can't afford a tutor. Joined Meetup.com but I can't get to any of the events What else is there to do? Everything hinges on being able to drive and earn money.

I am sorry to hear what you are going through. I also had a very busy lifestyle before moving to US and in the beggining it was great to relax a little bit. But then it can definetely get boring to sit at home. So I understand you. Just use your free time wisely, try to get ready for job market in US. In my case, I need to do a lot of reading. Watch some positive shows online and try not to check your status every other second. Eveything will be ok. I just had my AOS interview and received my greencard, I am sure everything will be fine in your case too. Just be natural on the day of the interview and everything will go awesome.

Good Luck

Good advice. Thank you.

[UKGirl123 24]

I know exactly how you feel hun. I am at month 6 of not working after a stressful and independant lifestyle and I have had my green card for a month now, currently looking for work but finding it difficult with not being able to drive and the lack of public transport. So I also am stuck at home, in an endless loop of applying for work and when I do EVENTUALLY get an interview then I have to ask my husband to take me when I finished work which raises the issue of how I would even get to work when I get the job. I am so stressed by it all it is untrue. I want a job, I want to make more friends, I want to get out of the house and do something productive.

So I don't have much advice for you apart from study for your driving written test as that will help move things along quicker for you when you get your green card. I do feel for you though and just wanted to let you know that you are not alone in feeling this way and just try to remember that it will only be temporary and soon everything will work itself out. Also try to keep in focus that you have your husband with you now to help you through the stress, I don't know what I would do with out mine.

[Filipina35 0]

I'm sorry to hear that your experiencing difficult times. Just remember one thing, that at least you are both together. Many of us cannot even spend Christmas with our SO becuase we are in different countries. Unfortunately the government slows downs around the holidays. You'd figure with the ridiculously high processing fees that they would hire more employees to speed up the process. And the fact that they put CR-1 and K-1 petions at the bottom of their priority list is horrible. We should be near the top of the list. It's so difficult to be apart from each other especially during the holidays, but immigration could care less. But at least your with your husband right now. If you guys are strapped for cash you should just explain to your husbands family that there should be a spending limit on presents or give no presents this year. If you can't afford Christmas gifts, just don't buy anything or just get something small. Christmas is also just being together with your families. I don't know if you are religious or not, but if you are you should go to the church to volunteer, but also make good friends who you can talk to, who will support you and help you make it through these difficult times. Also you could go online to search for any local Filipino groups or organizations or community centers where you can meet fellow filipinas who may have a similar experience that you can relate to. Also you should try to get involved in your town/city activities or actually volunteer your time with the Recreation department where once again you will make new friends. Just staying in the house all day will make you stri crazy and is not going to help anything. You need to get out of the house often. If you don't have a license or a car you should then figure out the local public transportation. There's many things to do and many friends to make, but you have to get yourself out of the house to search for them. No one will know who you are if you stay inside all day; you'll never make friends that way. To be stuck in suspense for waiting for your greencard, I'm sure is not pleasant. But remember as long as you and you husband are a legit couple and followed the requirements and sent in the required evidence, then you shouldn't have any problems getting approved. Also you should be searching for jobs. I know that you can't work right now, but you should still see what's out there so you can be prepared for when you are legally alllowed to work. Well anyways I wish you good luck and hope thiungs start to get better. Your in a slump right now and the only direction you can go is up. So stay positive knowing that at least you are both together and that everything will start to get much better soon. Take care and God Bless.

When you put it that way I guess you're right. But it doesn't make me feel much better that other people have it worse Naw, I know what you mean.

[Filipina35 0]

I know exactly how you feel hun. I am at month 6 of not working after a stressful and independant lifestyle and I have had my green card for a month now, currently looking for work but finding it difficult with not being able to drive and the lack of public transport. So I also am stuck at home, in an endless loop of applying for work and when I do EVENTUALLY get an interview then I have to ask my husband to take me when I finished work which raises the issue of how I would even get to work when I get the job. I am so stressed by it all it is untrue. I want a job, I want to make more friends, I want to get out of the house and do something productive.

So I don't have much advice for you apart from study for your driving written test as that will help move things along quicker for you when you get your green card. I do feel for you though and just wanted to let you know that you are not alone in feeling this way and just try to remember that it will only be temporary and soon everything will work itself out. Also try to keep in focus that you have your husband with you now to help you through the stress, I don't know what I would do with out mine.

Congrats on being approved! Great Christmas gift indeed. Glad you could relate. It's truly frustrating, that no public transit system issue. When I get my green card I still have some ways to go because like you, I need a car just to get myself to a job interview. Oh I already studied for driving test, ty. I just can't wait to look BACK on this phase in my life and call it history.

[Krikit 1,163]

Moving from AOS Process to AOS Progress.