How hard is it in the state.

[Lonelycouplez 4]

hello everyone,

my question today goes to those living in the states for a while now.my husband always tell me on the phone that things are not easy up there in the states,he says this almost everytime he talks to me,in fact,this is getting me scared of what tomeet over thetre.im working here in my country and living very good. i want to know how hard is it up there in the states because im getting discouraged to relocate to the states.

thanks in advance for your answers.

[Messybrownhair 251]

It would depend on a lot of factors like the kind of lifestyle you want to live by there, or what you have been accustomed to vs. what you will get there. I grew up in Manila with a maid and a driver so when I moved to China to work by myself 2 years ago, it took me forever to adjust. It's a good thing I got experience in China or else moving to the US directly might have been bad. Also, it is hard to find a job thats why I'm choosing to go back to school instead. But I guess you have to weigh the pros and the cons. I chose to leave my great job in China, my great family and comfort of living in the Philippines for my fiance. But that was my choice because I love him even if that means having to give up some luxuries that I used to enjoy. We are both young and I am optimistic that we can make it work.

I wish the best for you guys and do not worry so much about it

[Tero 105]

hello everyone,

my question today goes to those living in the states for a while now.my husband always tell me on the phone that things are not easy up there in the states,he says this almost everytime he talks to me,in fact,this is getting me scared of what tomeet over thetre.im working here in my country and living very good. i want to know how hard is it up there in the states because im getting discouraged to relocate to the states.

thanks in advance for your answers.

The nature of your job makes all the difference.If you have a job that pays well and is not stressful, you should be fine. But the economy is hard right now and it is hard to get a qualifying job in many places. Maybe his job is stressful and he has to put in many hours to make something decent.

[Penguin_ie 5,986]

***** Moving from AOS to Moving to America forum as OP is asking about general living conditions *****

[Lonelycouplez 4]

thanks for the reply guys. I guess i must go to school up there before i will be able to secure a good job.im only going there because of my husband,if not i would have preferred to remain in my motherland.

[Messybrownhair 251]

Well thats really up to you. You can try to look for jobs right away, I personally want to get my grad school out of the way first.

You know what, throughout this process, you will really encounter some doubts and anxiety because you are moving to a new place and you dont know what to expect, but thats normal. I bet once you get your noa2 you will both get excited again.

[Lonelycouplez 4]

I agree with you.im now waiting for my interview in march 28 this year. Thanks for the time.

[krissyjoe 3]

I agree with messybrownhair you are both going to start a new chapter of your life together and I guess all of us in here are willing to make some few sacrifices just to get our married life working :)remember that change is the only thing that is constant in this world and even though it scares the hell out of you to move to the States this should not discourage you instead, think of your future together as husband and wife continue to enhance yourself and if that means going back to school again then go ahead . I guess your fiancee just like to instill in your mind the reality in the States, but I think he should cut down saying those words to you a lot I understand how you feel cause I feel the same way about it too but we know that our USC fiancee will be there to back us up and catch us when we fall so don't get discourage girl all of us are scared at first to leave the comfort of life that we are used to but just think of the positive side you have some time to get accustom with the place once you get there so grab the opportunity and try to be friends with your husband's friends first and family . You can start from there WE cant say that everything will be alright but at least it's going to be okay if you both help each other BEST OF LUCK GIRL!!!!

[Lonelycouplez 4]

krissy, i appreciate your words of encouragement. Thanks, so you are in the states now right?

[MensahLuv 4]

Dont be discourage. Like others said above your husband is just letting you know it not what most think about the States. The streets are not lined with gold and you have to work for what you want. You have to work to pay the bills. Most families here are 2 family incomes. Not like the old days when the men work while the women stayed home. I wish. lol. Not really it kinda of boring just being home. If you have goals and are motivated you can do very well here. since you say you have a job you already have a work ethic which many dont have when thtey move from 3rd world countries. Yes, the economy is not good know, but it will not stay that way forever. There are still more work oppurtunities here than being in Ghana. If you dont find a job right away I would use this time to go to school and get trained for a better job if you can. The misconceptions that many people have before they move here that life will automatically be great with no effort! You have to work at being successful and living the good life in the USA.

[kamson 1]

Dont be discourage. Like others said above your husband is just letting you know it not what most think about the States. The streets are not lined with gold and you have to work for what you want. You have to work to pay the bills. Most families here are 2 family incomes. Not like the old days when the men work while the women stayed home. I wish. lol. Not really it kinda of boring just being home. If you have goals and are motivated you can do very well here. since you say you have a job you already have a work ethic which many dont have when thtey move from 3rd world countries. Yes, the economy is not good know, but it will not stay that way forever. There are still more work oppurtunities here than being in Ghana. If you dont find a job right away I would use this time to go to school and get trained for a better job if you can. The misconceptions that many people have before they move here that life will automatically be great with no effort! You have to work at being successful and living the good life in the USA.

[Lonelycouplez 4]

thanks a lot ghanaluv. Im inspired by your words

[RICARDO4EVA2 194]

I agree.. you just got TO work for what you want...

Edited January 28, 2011 by RICARDO4EVA2

[GhLove 4]

I actually have been telling my fiance the same thing. And as Ghanaluv said its just to let him know the reality of what to expect. There are alot of issues in the U.S. other than finance, such as discrimination and alot less communial/caring society. It's not as family oriented either. Some Africans immigrate here and totally loose sense of family, values, and etc. People loose their kids to drugs, street life, etc.

To be honest I LOVE GHANA!!! and I was born in the U.S. everytime I go to Ghana I leave in TEARS (even before I met my fiance). Just for the fact that there are so many people are very loving and genuine in Ghana. and no one looks down on you because you are "black". The U.S. is very competitive and many Americans are very selfish, rude, and MEAN. America is a country more geared towards productivity and profit. Bottom line. Most people don't have time to be concerned for others. The stress levels and mental health issues tends to be higher in the U.S. than most third world countries, because many of us are so focues on working that we loose sight of what's really important. For example:

"There’s no argument that Monterrey, Mexico has serious problems like malnutrition, lack of education, high levels of corruption, poor civic development and questionable governance. And yet despite these seemingly immense hurdles, studies reported the highest level of happiness in the Americas during the year of our most exhaustive research (2008). Explanations include the happiness boost they receive from the high number of hours of sunlight; the personal sense of freedom of choice they experience; they nurture laughter; they intuitively understand the importance of social interaction; and they put their family first and appreciate the good around them."

For these reasons, I miss Ghana everyday! I feel so free there... In 10 years I'm planning to finish my military career and relocate to Ghana for good... We have a goal and that's what keeps me going. With all that being said, there are alot of opprotunities here. I believe most Ghanaians who come here do very well. They save their money and return back to GH to invest their intelligence, talents, and resources back into their homeland. Some adapt and stay. I think it all depends on what you value most. But for the moment, try to focus on the fact that you are building your life with your fiance. And you can get through everything if you support each other. It is not always easy... but what in life is?

[kamson 1]

I actually have been telling my fiance the same thing. And as Ghanaluv said its just to let him know the reality of what to expect. There are alot of issues in the U.S. other than finance, such as discrimination and alot less communial/caring society. It's not as family oriented either. Some Africans immigrate here and totally loose sense of family, values, and etc. People loose their kids to drugs, street life, etc.

To be honest I LOVE GHANA!!! and I was born in the U.S. everytime I go to Ghana I leave in TEARS (even before I met my fiance). Just for the fact that there are so many people are very loving and genuine in Ghana. and no one looks down on you because you are "black". The U.S. is very competitive and many Americans are very selfish, rude, and MEAN. America is a country more geared towards productivity and profit. Bottom line. Most people don't have time to be concerned for others. The stress levels and mental health issues tends to be higher in the U.S. than most third world countries, because many of us are so focues on working that we loose sight of what's really important. For example:

"Theres no argument that Monterrey, Mexico has serious problems like malnutrition, lack of education, high levels of corruption, poor civic development and questionable governance. And yet despite these seemingly immense hurdles, studies reported the highest level of happiness in the Americas during the year of our most exhaustive research (2008). Explanations include the happiness boost they receive from the high number of hours of sunlight; the personal sense of freedom of choice they experience; they nurture laughter; they intuitively understand the importance of social interaction; and they put their family first and appreciate the good around them."

For these reasons, I miss Ghana everyday! I feel so free there... In 10 years I'm planning to finish my military career and relocate to Ghana for good... We have a goal and that's what keeps me going. With all that being said, there are alot of opprotunities here. I believe most Ghanaians who come here do very well. They save their money and return back to GH to invest their intelligence, talents, and resources back into their homeland. Some adapt and stay. I think it all depends on what you value most. But for the moment, try to focus on the fact that you are building your life with your fiance. And you can get through everything if you support each other. It is not always easy... but what in life is?

Very Very well said... I truly agree in ALL aspects..

Edited January 28, 2011 by kamson