TBoneTX

Sunday! Official Weekly VAWA-Thread Joke! ========================================== FARMER TO THE RESCUE A husband and wife, driving down a country lane, came to a muddy patch in the road, and their car got stuck. After a few minutes of trying to get the car out by themselves, they saw a young farmer coming down the lane, driving some oxen before him. The farmer stopped when he saw the couple in trouble and offered to pull the car out of the mud for $50. The husband accepted, and, minutes later, the car was free. The farmer turned to the husband and said, "You know, yours is the 10th car I've helped out of the mud today." The husband looked around at the fields incredulously and asked the farmer, "When do you have time to plow your land -- at night?" "No," the young farmer replied seriously, "Night is when I add more water to the muddy patch."

Thrilling Saturday report, see man: Both Mini-B. and we slept till half-past Many (2x2x2 +1) a.m., zzz Two Guys man. Our alarm clock was an intensely breakfast-interested miu, sit on our chest miu man. Mini-B. happily played his video game most of the day, engrossed wee man. Lunch for Mini-B. was microwave rice + onecan tuna, ingest wee man. Lunch for us was 2 chicken-saladburgers, ingest we man. After lunch, we went grocerying for Mama T-B., always an uncertain outcome man. Sure enough, Mama T-B. displeased with some of our decisions, man. We brought the 2 versions of senior vitamins from a recent ES to offer Mama T-B., needful senior she man. 1. She beefed at the expense ( = free to her), beef senior she man. 2. She wondered why one bottle was opened, refuse to listen to us senior she man. Many. She beefed about how the ingredients were too small to read, squint senior she man. Finally, she wanted the open bottle because "I can't see the size of the other pills, no man." It intrigues us that, with only a couple of exceptions, Centrum Silver (knockoff) is stronger than Geritol, comparative reading of ingredient contents man. At the casa, a recuperative siesta was mandatorily taken, zzz we man. Ex-Mrs.-T-B. came over at Many (2+2+1) p.m., missed Mini-B. ex-she man man. Ex-she man announced that the Rojo is looking to buy a casa somewhat far away, man. He expects to pull that trigger perhaps in summer, man. This will complicate logistics and forgetting Mini-B.'s stuff at each casa, for one thing man. An intense discussion was held (yet again) regarding Mini-B.'s skoolwurk, sigh and man. Din-din was Friday-on-Saturday traditional Costco burgers, ingest Two Guys man. Everyone watched episodes of Young Sheldon while consuming popcorn, watch/ingest everyone man. Of course, ex-Mrs.-T-B. fell asleep during this process, zzz ex-she man man. Many (2+2) bowls were consumed, ingest Two Guys man. This makes Many (2x2x2 +2) bowls for the week, double digits man. Mini-B. did Non-P-Math hoamwurk (!!?) and got to bed only an hour late, amazing man. It is obvious that we should begin hunt-wifing, long time since any effort at all toward that man. The rubias are fun but not that kind of material, sorry man. We have zero prospects even of anyone to ask out, sigh man. Party with said rubias commencing imminently, cavort regardless we man.

Court Orders Texas Razor Wire Moved To Ukraine Border [...] "The razor wire on the Texas border must be removed at once, as using such a horrible tool to secure the land of average Americans is a total abomination," said Judge Alan Partridge. "Razor wire may only be used [...] https://babylonbee.com/news/court-orders-texas-razor-wire-moved-to-ukraine-border

Texas Politely Declines Dallas Cowboys' Offer To Send Offensive Line To Guard Border DALLAS, TX — Governor Abbott, in conjunction with the Texas National Guard, have kindly declined the Dallas Cowboys' offer to send their offensive line to help guard the southern border. "Yeah, I think we'll pass," said Governor Abbott watching game film of Dak Prescott being pummeled over and over. "That's super nice and all, but I'm pretty sure we've got it covered. Really, thanks though." https://babylonbee.com/news/texas-politely-declines-dallas-cowboys-offer-to-send-offensive-line-to-guard-border

Talk to 0bummer about the numbering system.

Pro Palestine Protestors Showed Up To Fetterman's House and He Let His Israeli Flag Fly ... Literally [...] Fetterman has been one of the only Democrats who is fully and unequivocally in support of Israel. As a result, Pro Palestine protestors (try to say that three times fast) showed up to his house. They were unable to cower Fetterman. He hopped on the roof and started waving the Israeli flag. [...] https://twitchy.com/justmindy/2024/01/26/fetterman-raised-israeli-flag-lsrael-palestine-protestors-n2392244

Now THIS is headline news. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Number of rare Francois' leaf monkeys climbing Last month, near a winding mountain road in Guizhou province, tourists encountered several families of inquisitive Francois' leaf monkeys. [...] https://www.chinadaily.com.cn/a/202401/23/WS65af2716a3105f21a507dd03.html

Probably Bidementia himself, in 2007 or other previous year.

If the ketchup challenge isn't news (note that it's a Hot Social Topic), how is mustard-selection news? One might make the point that it's a "hot" topic, depending on spiciness.

We're trying to impress this on him, si and sigh man. He might just say, "Oh, most of my friends are failing, too, si man," sigh man. We think he'd be made to take Summer Skool, si and sigh man.

Biden Says Texas Has Till End Of Day To Remove Razor Wire Or Else Frinlerbagsuzzit Dorblelerg [...] "This has gotten out of hand, folks," said Biden before a crowd of reporters. "The governor of Texas has defied the gribblegarg of tortlshwaligglbuther. I'm giving Greg Abbot until sundown today to remove thrigldiffin or else frinlerbagsuzzit dorblelerg. Not a joke! [...] https://babylonbee.com/news/biden-says-texas-has-till-end-of-day-to-remove-razor-wire-or-else-frinlerbagsuzzit-dorblelerg

Before contacting any lawyer or especially Boundless, consult Platinum (top menu, Ask a Pro, VJ Partners). This is for good reason. I have no conflict of interest in making this recommendation.

Thrilling Friday non-ES report, see man: Rant-Query, see man: Why must mius doze off directly in the center of a top stairway step, huh man? Courtesy of HSM, we awoke feeling far better than on Thursday morn, medicated we man. After drop-skooling Mini-B., we blew-leafed the inundated driveway, Not Our Leaves man. Lunch/din-din was at favorite Chinese buffet, on ES route man. We consumed Many (2+1) plates piled with beef & chicken, ingest we man. Waitress non-rubia non-girlfriend not there, no prurient report* man. *however, we continue to do ___, ___, and ___ with the rubias, mollify certain of our readers man Began sprinkling rain as we approached the casa, light rain forecast man. Then it began monsooning nonstop for Many (2+2+1) hours, inundation man. Ground couldn't take one more drop of water even before that, major problems around area man. We nicely siesta'd through part of it until ex-Mrs.-T-B. awoke us with a text, man. Mini-B. had an after-skool Band function, attend wee man. We retrieved him amidst major monsooning, dark of night, and other parents, soggy chaos man. Mini-B. seemed in decent spirits and wanted to computer-game, fine with us man. His din-din was 2 slices of 'za at the function, ingest wee man. Later, Mini-B. requested din-din #2, request wee man of we man man. We served him onecan of S+Ms, ingest wee man. He then claimed further hunger, claim wee man. We served him 2 PB&J** sandwiches, ingest wee man. **with use of the PB bought at today's ES, financially savvy we man Mini-B. finally got to bed, zzz we man. We shall both sleep until we wake up late, plan-to-zzz we man and wee man man. We applaud ourself for blow-leafing the driveway before the monsoon, opportune we man. Few things are worse than wet oak leaves, despise these we man. We shall not ES/GS on Saturday, no man. Mama T-B. has brief grocery needs at only*** 2 stores, shop we man for senior she man man. ***a minor miracle, wondrous to recount man One need was multivitamins, si man. We have the 2 new bottles from a recent ES, clairvoyant we man. We compared the respective ingredients, compare we man. With little exception, the Centrum Silver knockoffs are stronger than the Geritol, surprising man. We shall give Mama T-B. the choice of which, similar expiration dates man. However, she will almost certainly refuse both and want us to buy a new one, man. We will bet cash money on this, si and sigh man. We sneaked our tub of Costco chicken salad up to our desk, dozing miu man. Of course, miu became aware and intensely interested, man. We rather convincingly ejected miu from the chicken salad's presence. eject miu man we man. Mornin', absent Polish Commie- and other babes with zealously hoarded yet eminently allocatable upvote inventories!

HUGE: Border Patrol Turns on Joe Biden, Proclaims Support for Texas National Guard Is there going to be a major confrontation on the border following Joe Biden's ultimatum that Texas National Guard forces be removed from Shelby Park and other "disputed" areas? Not if the rank-and-file of the U.S. Customs and Border Patrol have anything to say about it. [...] https://redstate.com/bonchie/2024/01/26/huge-border-patrol-turns-on-joe-biden-proclaim-support-for-texas-national-guard-n2169256

~~~~~~~~ DEI Strikes Again: The FBI Hiring the Obese and the Barely Literate [...] A group of current and former FBI agents recently handed over a report to both the House Oversight and Judiciary Committees. The agents describe an environment where DEI, not ability and qualifications, has become the standard in the hiring process. Some of the standards being loosened involve things like physical fitness, drug use, finances, mental health, experience, and integrity. The changes have been made “to more easily accommodate a larger pool of available applicants." [...] https://redstate.com/beckynoble/2024/01/26/dei-strikes-again-fbi-hiring-the-obese-and-the-barely-literate-n2169243

The 'Relationship Test' Plague Has to Stop [...] These tests are supposed to be fun for the girl because it allows her to either show off how great her significant other is or if she's of the self-victimization type, she'll post their boyfriend or husband failing her. But let's be clear here, there's nothing good about these tests. Somewhere out there are a host of women who are being led to believe that their relationships should live or die based on the success or failure of a mundane task. But to me, that's not even the worst part. [...] https://redstate.com/brandon_morse/2024/01/26/the-relationship-test-plague-has-to-stop-n2169258

I never really saw the point in these laws. Thoughts & comments? ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Turns Out That Laws Restricting Alcohol Sales on Sundays Are Completely Useless You might be surprised that blue laws, which limit certain types of business activity on Sundays, don't provide much of a benefit, if any. The laws are typically used to restrict the sale of alcohol on Sundays, ostensibly to prevent alcoholism. According to a recent study conducted by the Department of Agricultural and Resource Economics at the University of Connecticut, Storrs, and various other universities, repealing blue laws does not have the pernicious impact that proponents might predict. [...] https://redstate.com/jeffc/2024/01/26/turns-out-that-laws-restricting-alcohol-on-sundays-are-completely-useless-n2169277

Wow! Comments? ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Amazon Will No Longer Give Ring Doorbell Footage to Law Enforcement Without a Warrant https://redstate.com/jeffc/2024/01/26/amazon-will-no-longer-give-ring-doorbell-footage-to-law-enforcement-without-a-warrant-n2169270

Biden's Third-Year Job Approval Is Shockingly Low, Surpassed Only by Jimmy Carter Perhaps as expected, Joe Biden's third-year job approval is the lowest seen by a president since Jimmy Carter in 1979. According to the latest Gallup poll, Biden's overall approval rating from between January 20th, 2023, and January 19th, 2024 sits at just 39.8 percent, second only to the famously incompetent Jimmy Carter. [...] https://redstate.com/benkew/2024/01/26/bidens-third-year-job-approval-is-shockingly-low-n2169257

The bluest of the blue states... ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ California homeless found living in furnished caves 20 feet below street level Homeless people in California were found living in caves along the Tuolumne River before they were cleared out by the Modesto Police Department and volunteers over the weekend. Volunteers with Operation 9-2-99 and the Tuolumne River Trust worked with police to clear them out, removing some 7,600 pounds of garbage from the area, authorities said. [...] https://www.yahoo.com/news/california-homeless-found-living-furnished-165119411.html

How does your state stack up, and do you agree with its ranking? ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Best & Worst States to Drive in (2024) [...] To identify the states with the best driving conditions, WalletHub compared all 50 states across 31 key indicators of a positive commute. Our data set ranges from average gas prices to rush-hour traffic congestion to road quality. [...] https://wallethub.com/edu/best-worst-states-to-drive-in/43012

http://noqinecuador.blogspot.com/2006/04/cuy.html

Leftists, greenies, and do-gooders never consider consequences.

As well they should have been. At least some courts still have common sense. The Fourth Amendment has been on life support for many years now...

The OP may have exhausted his quota of 6 posts on the first day of VJ membership. --- If you're worried about CBP interrogation, try this: 1. Carry every possible bit of paperwork from the Pakistani police that has cleared you. 2. Carry printouts of any threatening messages from your ex-wife. 3. The instant you're questioned, hand these over to the CBP agent, explaining what they are. 4. At the same time as (3.), calmly say, "By the way, my ex-wife is out of status in the U.S. I'll be happy to give you her coordinates so that your ICE colleagues can visit her, and you can take the credit for it."