TBoneTX

Thrilling Sunday report, see man: We slept poorly yet again, sigh man. We did not leave the casa all day, perfect Sunday man. Miu was again vocal and demanding, man. We assured miu that Big Brudduh was arriving later, assure we man vocal miu man. This did not help much, comprehension-gapped we and miu man man. Lunch was onebag of nuked mixed vegetables, ingest carnivorous we man. Conquered the one LL, light week man. Watched football game, watch we man. Consumed 2 bowls of Costco popcorn, ingest foolish we man. Siesta taken, rather restorative man. Ex-Mrs.-T-B. brought Mini-B., start of Two Guys week man. Ex-she man also brought leftovers from the Rojo's Thanksgiving gig, donation man. Din-din was these, ingest we man. Dished and de-dished the warsher, domestic we man. Mini-B. claimed hunger, why didn't he do so before we dished the warsher man. Mini-B.'s din-din was onecan of Chef B. S+Ms, ingest wee man man. No party with the rubias tonight, no cavort we man. Must take Mama T-B. to Walmart Optical on Monday morn, we man chauffeur senior she man man. And that was/is our thrilling Sunday, report we man.

Rubias like these, $i and $igh man.

No justice for joke without upvotes!

This is quite interesting. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Uranus is weirder than we thought: Scientists report new mysteries of the tilted planet A pale blue-green enigma, the planet Uranus has long fascinated astronomers precisely because of its extreme distance, some 1.6 billion miles (2.6 billion km) from Earth. While it is comparatively easy to gaze upon neighboring celestial bodies like the Moon and the planets Mars and Venus, Uranus is difficult to see without the most powerful telescopes, such as the James Webb Space Telescope. As technology has advanced, it has unlocked more secrets of the strange, tilted planet (it orbits on its side compared to other planets in the solar system), from the fact that it may rain diamonds to discovering previously-unknown moons. Now a trio of recent studies has revealed that one of its moons, Miranda, likely has a stirring ocean beneath its surface, meaning it could harbor extraterrestrial life, and that the planet's own internal dynamics are more bizarre than we ever imagined. [...] https://www.yahoo.com/news/uranus-weirder-thought-scientists-report-103005002.html

This was 100% guaranteed. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Biden pardons his son Hunter despite previous pledges not to WASHINGTON (AP) — President Joe Biden pardoned his son, Hunter, on Sunday night, sparing the younger Biden a possible prison sentence for federal felony gun and tax convictions and reversing his past promises not to use the extraordinary powers of the presidency for the benefit of his family. The Democratic president had previously said he would not pardon his son or commute his sentence after convictions in the two cases in Delaware and California. The move comes weeks before Hunter Biden was set to receive his punishment after his trial conviction in the gun case and guilty plea on tax charges, and less than two months before President-elect Donald Trump is set to return to the White House. [...] https://www.yahoo.com/news/biden-pardons-son-hunter-despite-003718639.html

Garbage over! ~~~~~~~~~~~ Federal judge dismisses Jan. 6 case against Donald Trump at request of special counsel Jack Smith WASHINGTON – A federal judge dismissed charges Monday against President-elect Donald Trump for allegedly trying to steal the 2020 election, at the request of Department of Justice special counsel Jack Smith. U.S. District Judge Tanya Chutkan agreed to the request and ruled with Trump's lawyers agreeing that "there is no indication that the dismissal is 'part of a scheme of ‘prosecutorial harassment' or otherwise improper." [...] https://www.press-citizen.com/story/news/politics/elections/2024/11/25/donald-trump-jack-smith-dismiss-charges/75989511007/

Please be firmly aware that you would be greatly missed in the upper forums.

Leaflets in London: 'Every Zionist Needs to Leave Britain or Be Slaughtered' What is happening in Britain today could all too easily happen here, and that's why every American should note the rising tide of antisemitism there, and particularly its frankly and unapologetically menacing edge. GB News reported Wednesday that "leaflets with the writing 'every Zionist needs to leave Britain or be slaughtered' were found spread around the streets of Hendon, a predominantly Jewish neighbourhood in north London." The message itself was bad enough, but the fact that it has gotten so little attention was a disquieting indication of how much antisemitism has already become normalized amidst the left's relentless propaganda campaign to isolate and demonize Israel after the Hamas massacre of 1,200 Israelis on Oct. 7, 2023. [...] https://pjmedia.com/robert-spencer/2024/11/28/leaflets-in-london-every-zionist-needs-to-leave-britain-or-be-slaughtered-n4934707

It's Official — Trump Names Deep State Foe Kash Patel FBI Director The appointment has been rumored ever since Donald Trump was reelected president of the United States, and on Saturday evening, he made it official: "I am proud to announce," Trump wrote on Truth Social, "that Kashyap 'Kash' Patel will serve as the next Director of the Federal Bureau of Investigation." This is an extraordinary and highly significant appointment, as Patel has been a harsh critic of the far-left, highly politicized and deeply corrupt FBI. A thoroughgoing housecleaning appears to be in the offing — unless the deep state that Patel will be targeting manages to defeat him in a head-on confrontation. Trump added in his announcement: [...] https://pjmedia.com/robert-spencer/2024/11/30/breaking-its-official-trump-names-deep-state-foe-kash-patel-fbi-director-n4934745

Really good rationales here from someone who was on the inside. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ A Top Priority for the Musk/Ramaswamy DOGE Commission: Decentralizing the Federal Government One of the best ideas I heard from Donald Trump for his second term is to move as many as 100,000 federal employees to "new locations outside the Washington Swamp" to places "filled with patriots who love America." This initiative will save tax dollars and help depoliticize federal agencies. There also are important security and fairness reasons to relocate these agencies across the United States. I speak from experience. [...] https://amgreatness.com/2024/11/29/a-top-priority-for-the-musk-ramaswamy-doge-commission-decentralizing-the-federal-government/

This will be an ongoing idea past the initial appointments and nominations, so let's start it as a new thread now and add to it over time. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ DOGE Theory One of the most intriguing developments following Donald Trump's election victory has been the announcement of Elon Musk and Vivek Ramaswamy's Department of Government Efficiency, or DOGE. The initiative, which hopes to cut up to $2 trillion from the federal budget, has generated notable excitement, momentum, and memes. The world's richest man and a successful biotech entrepreneur, Ramaswamy, have revitalized what seemed to be a mostly dormant libertarianism, drawing on the inspiration of Milton Friedman and promising to slash the bureaucracy to the bone. But what are its prospects for real-world success? [...] https://www.city-journal.org/article/doge-theory?skip=1

Oh, Jesus -- I was gonna say... On an overall note, has anyone noticed how the new Cabinet "looks like America" but also comprises competent people? Imagine that!

Another record silence between our Unofficial and Official Weekly VAWA-Thread Joke: =========================================== THE BLONDE ON THE TRAIN A blonde wife came home from her first day commuting into the city. Her husband noticed she was looking a little frazzled and asked, "Honey, are you feeling all right?" "Not really," she said. "I'm nauseated from sitting backward on the train." "Poor dear," her husband said. "Why didn't you ask the person sitting across from you to switch seats for a while?" "I couldn't," she replied. "There was no one there."

Thrilling Saturday report, see man: Slept very poorly, low-quality-zzz we man. Groceried early at Aldi* for Two Guys week, grocerying we man. *where cashier failed to ring up one item, haste makes waste discover we belatedly man Serviced demanding miu, all-day thing man. Lunch was Modified Tuna Glop, ingest we man. Tried for a siesta but got bubbly call from ex-Mrs.-T-B., poor timing man. Ex-she-man & the Rojo arranged to meet Mini-B.'s first little girlfriend** + family, momentous thing man. **a mini-rubia, chip off the old block wee man from we man man Got up-cleaned and waited for Many-year-old chica, Clean for Gene and wait we man. In meantime, got e-mail that our primary credit card has been compromised/closed, man. Chica never confirmed leaving her casa, requested by we man man. Chica never confirmed when chica was in range, requested by we man man. After Many (2x2x2x2 +2+2) minutes' delinquency, we texted the following, see man: "Chica, see man: We don't wait Many minutes for the president of General Motors without notice, no man. If you're on your way, you can turn around and go home, si man. All the best to you, si man," si man. We'd not have been in any shape for congeniality or action regardless, but it's the principle of the thing man. We had the choice to brood or to make our own afternoon, choose we man. After re-servicing demanding miu, decided to go to the mall, decide we man. Mall was undeniably mobbed, wow man. We Kojaked in finding a parking space, amazing man. We took Mama T-B.'s Many (2+1) eyeglass prescriptions to get lenses-only priced, order senior she man we man man. First place quoted $Many00, either pretty good or good grief given flexible P-Math man. Second place quoted $Many00, either slightly or much better or worse given flexible P-Math man. We left mobbed mall and gassed thirsty T-B.-mobile at Costco, also obviously mobbed man. Went to Walmart Optical, si man. Got our own refraction exam for a reasonable $Many, take to Mexico soon man. Got lenses-only quote of $Many00, higher than, between, or lower than other 2 quotes man. On drive to casa, stopped at Mexican place for din-din, treat ourself and blow all A1c progress we man. Returned to casa to re-re-service demanding miu and to siesta, zzz we man. Awoke and re-re-re-serviced demanding miu, compliant we man. Told Mama T-B. of the findings, "Why didn't you call me first for more questions, huh man?" man. Got lectured about other needs, admittedly with finite timeframes man. Watched late TV news, watch we man. Re-re-re-re-serviced demanding miu, who needs a wive or other chica amidst this man. No more chicas*** to investigate or to stand us up, sigh man. ***rubias or otherwise, no man No party with the rubias tonight, no cavort we man. No Sunday plans other than football, laundry, and Mini-B.'s evening arrival, no man. And that was/is our thrilling Saturday, report we man.

Score-rubia-twicing Bro G man! Score-rubia-twicing, score-rubia-twicing Bro G man!

Good fortune and persistence -- and heed Daphne!

WNBA Players Forced To Supplement Incomes During Offseason By Cheerleading For NBA Teams MINNEAPOLIS—Grabbing their pom-poms before heading out to pump up the crowd, several WNBA players confirmed Thursday that they have been forced to supplement their incomes during the offseason by cheerleading for NBA teams. "With the season over, everyone in the league is scrambling to make ends meet by [...] https://theonion.com/wnba-players-forced-to-supplement-incomes-during-offseason-by-cheerleading-for-nba-teams/

'You're The Bonnie To My Clyde,' Says Biden Running Off With Pardoned Turkey WASHINGTON—Participating in the annual tradition one last time before leaving office, President Joe Biden reportedly told a pardoned Thanksgiving turkey "You're the Bonnie to my Clyde" on Monday before running off with it and disappearing over the horizon. "It's us against the world now, turkey," said the commander-in-chief, grabbing [...] https://theonion.com/youre-the-bonnie-to-my-clyde-says-biden-running-off-with-pardoned-turkey/

Man Forgetting Difference Between Meteoroid, Meteorite Struggles To Describe What Just Killed His Dog TORONTO—Though he tried hard to recall what he had learned about space rocks back in middle school, local man Jason Nieto reportedly forgot the difference between meteoroids and meteorites Thursday, struggling to describe what had just killed his dog. "God, I always forgot which one is the kind that actually hits the ground, if that's even the difference, so I'm not sure what just crushed Churro," said Nieto, explaining that the [...] https://theonion.com/man-forgetting-difference-between-meteoroid-meteorite-struggles-to-describe-what-just-killed-his-dog/

NASA: Potential Link Between Extraterrestrials, Giant Metal Claw Picking Up Earth WASHINGTON—Urging the public to remain skeptical until the object could be studied further, NASA officials confirmed during a press conference Wednesday that there was a potential link between extraterrestrials and the giant metal claw currently picking up the Earth. "We believe that the mechanical three-pronged hand recently spotted clasped around the Arctic may be controlled by intelligent beings via a sort of joystick," said NASA administrator Bill Nelson, who [...] https://theonion.com/nasa-potential-link-between-extraterrestrials-giant-metal-claw-picking-up-earth/

Report: Most Americans Have Enough Saved For Absolutely Incredible Single Day Of Retirement WASHINGTON—Revealing that retirees have a lot to look forward to after exiting the workforce, the Federal Reserve Survey of Consumer Finances, published Wednesday, found that the majority of Americans had enough saved for an absolutely incredible single day of retirement. "By the time most people leave the workforce, they'll have accrued the necessary funds to live it up like an absolute god for 24 hours, enjoying [...] https://theonion.com/report-most-americans-have-enough-saved-for-absolutely-incredible-single-day-of-retirement/

Sweating RFK Jr. Performs Self-Surgery To Extract Big Mac From Stomach NEW YORK—After being forced to eat McDonald’s on the private jet of President-elect Donald Trump, a visibly sweaty Robert F. Kennedy Jr. reportedly performed surgery on himself this weekend to extract a Big Mac from his stomach. "I have to cut the McDonald's out before it attacks my other organs," said the nominee for secretary of health and human services, taking a [...] https://theonion.com/sweating-rfk-jr-performs-self-surgery-to-extract-big-mac-from-stomach/

Oklahoma Law Requires Ten Commandments To Be Displayed In Every Womb OKLAHOMA CITY—In an effort to provide all developing fetuses in the state with a thorough grounding in Judeo-Christian values, a new bill was signed into law Tuesday that requires the Ten Commandments to be displayed in every womb in Oklahoma. "With this landmark law mandating the Ten Commandments be hung on every pregnant woman's uterine wall, Oklahoma pushes back against attempts to secularize our wombs," said Gov. Kevin Stitt, explaining that the law will [...] https://theonion.com/oklahoma-law-requires-ten-commandments-to-be-displayed-in-every-womb/

Are You An Alcoholic? Look For These Warning Signs [...] Here are nine signs to look for when determining if you are an alcoholic: • Your sentences often don't make sense. - If you find yourself saying things like "the significance of the passage of time" or "space connects us all," you might want to seek help. [...] https://babylonbee.com/news/are-you-an-alcoholic-look-for-these-warning-signs

Excited Lobbyists Line Up Outside Capitol For Doorbuster Deals On Congressmen WASHINGTON, D.C. — Eager to join in on low Black Friday prices, excited lobbyists were seen lining up outside the U.S. Capitol to get early bird deals on all congressmen. In order to create buzz and draw in more potential customers, Congress announced special Black Friday prices on all its members, causing crowds of lobbyists to arrive early to score killer deals on their favorite items. "You have to bribe early to get the best prices," said Fred Drummond, a lobbyist for several large pharmaceutical companies. "Last year, [...] https://babylonbee.com/news/excited-lobbyists-line-up-outside-capitol-for-early-bird-deals-on-congressmen