Mithra

Plainly, most people who have gone through this (MENA) forum are now divorced. Not that it would ever stop a multi-year online relationship machine, but statistics are way off the positive side. Red flags DO mean something.

I've heard of a few online. Not very many, but I don't know how much of that is people leaving VJ not because the relationship tanked but just because they're done with immigration and have no need to post. In several of the relationships I've seen that did not end in divorce immediately after the immigration benefit was received, there are also financial considerations, like a guy may have his citizenship but not yet be on his feet financially, still be going to school in the US, etc. I don't want to be cynical, but although I've seen a few, in some cases I do think that's a sign that the relationship is successful, and in other cases IMO the jury is still out and I don't know whether the guy (who is still young and not in any rush) would stick around if he weren't getting all of his bills paid for by his more affluent wife. I could be wrong. I hope I am.

It's none of anyone's business but yeah 22 is way young IMO. Chatting online for three years is really not a good way to judge maturity, intelligence, personality, etc. So many MENA guys get coached on what to say and copy/paste happens a lot. I know you don't want to hear any of this and will most likely go on ahead and marry this guy. Don't be surprised if the family isn't cool with the situation. And if they are, you may just be a starter wife and they're well aware and may even be encouraging it. I guess spending time in this forum and getting to know lots of ladies in similar circumstances has jaded me a bit. The rate of success with these types of marriages isn't great. Esp. when there's a large age difference and he's practically still a teenager. I'm sorry but I'm a couple years younger than you and the thought of being with a 22 year old (regardless of maturity) totally creeps me out. It's hard enough to find common ground with a 22 year old American. What are you going to do with a 22 year old Egyptian who lived a completely different life than you?

It's none of anyone's business but yeah 22 is way young IMO. Chatting online for three years is really not a good way to judge maturity, intelligence, personality, etc. So many MENA guys get coached on what to say and copy/paste happens a lot. I know you don't want to hear any of this and will most likely go on ahead and marry this guy. Don't be surprised if the family isn't cool with the situation. And if they are, you may just be a starter wife and they're well aware and may even be encouraging it. I guess spending time in this forum and getting to know lots of ladies in similar circumstances has jaded me a bit. The rate of success with these types of marriages isn't great. Esp. when there's a large age difference and he's practically still a teenager. I'm sorry but I'm a couple years younger than you and the thought of being with a 22 year old (regardless of maturity) totally creeps me out. It's hard enough to find common ground with a 22 year old American. What are you going to do with a 22 year old Egyptian who lived a completely different life than you?

I'm not Arabian, so I can't watch it.

And anyone that tells you that a religious muslim family will be ok with a woman the mans mothers age marrying their virginal son is lying to you. Its weird here in the usa to have that big of a difference even between Americans. Unless of course you are Linda Hogan and this is a reality show.
Its your life and you need to live it as you see fit but hes way too young and in 5 years when you are in your 40s and hes not even mid 20s, you will regret the hell out of this

There are tons of people in the mena forum who got married on their first visit, and got visas without the slightest hitch. There are tons who have huge age differences in mena forum who got visas without a hitch. There are some with both age differences and first visit marriages who got visas no problemo. And there are people with none of those issues who received denials. The only rule seems to be that there are no rules. All bets are off when it comes to mena.
And then there's the whole business of staying married after visas and moving to the us. All bets are off there too.

You're not going to find one on this forum. Sorry, but people aren't waiting in line to make a 10 year financial commitment to someone they don't know.

farewell posts on vj (or any internet message board for that matter) always make me lol. it's so silly pointless and attention seeking.

get over yourself please. you dont speak for all arabs or the multitude of those intimately involved with arab people.

I thought the "why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?" expression was to discourage premarital sex.

If he has his SSN already you may file jointly. He doesn't have to have a green card for tax purposes.

Agreed. Using culture shock as an excuse is asinine. There are other ways to vent frustration due to "culture shock" that doesn't include knocking around your spouse. I fear that the OP plans to overlook this and kowtow to his apparent bullying tactics to do ROC. Otherwise, she'd have removed him from her home by now. Sad.
Also, "hard work" importing a husband isn't good enough reason to accept being battered.

Agreed. Using culture shock as an excuse is asinine. There are other ways to vent frustration due to "culture shock" that doesn't include knocking around your spouse. I fear that the OP plans to overlook this and kowtow to his apparent bullying tactics to do ROC. Otherwise, she'd have removed him from her home by now. Sad.
Also, "hard work" importing a husband isn't good enough reason to accept being battered.

Excuse me, but how could you possibly say that DOMESTIC BATTERY could be a consequence of a culture shock? I don't know in which country it's ok to beat someone up and it's culturally acceptable.
OP needs to protect herself and her children and get a restraining order against the spouse and definitely report him.

Very tragic.
Organized religion can be such a disease.

The OP never returned to clarify about this temper. Telling her to leave the guy and we don't know the extent of his temper is a bit premature. I have a temper, I think everyone has some sort of a temper. We all get angry, right? I would hate for someone to give up on me because I was in a pissy mood one day. However, we don't yet know how bad this "temper" is. It's sad that many people in this board will automatically say, "dump him" without really knowing what's going on.

Wael received his citizenship interview letter today! He will be interviewed Jan 12, 2011. Fantastic way to begin the New Year! :dance:

Do you fish?
She's the Angler in the boat, she baits her hook with SEX.
You took the bait, she set the hook.
You liked the taste of the bait and couldn't let go as she reeled you in.
The day you married her was the moment she landed you in the boat.
Have you ever seen a Fisherman feed good bait to a fish after it's in the boat?
It really is that simple...
Just to protect yourself you might want to think about putting her up in a motel on the other side of town until her flight home.

These people are called women.
These people are called men.
She'd also like for you to acknowledge she's thirsty. Not that she wants you to get her a glass of watuh, but that she's thirsty and you should be thirsty too.

Sometimes my husband gets all fired up about only eating halal meat, so I tell him that I'm happy to cook only halal meat for him if he brings it home. The halal store is about 20 minutes away and right near where he works. He never brings it home and ends up eating the non halal meat.
My rationale is that if it's really that important to you, you'll make the effort.

Unfortunately a lot of men of Arab descent make a bad name for THEMSELVES with their behavior as we've seen in this forum time and again. No one has to do it to them, they do it to themselves.

Batta, I both agree and disagree with you on some points.
My husband works with several Arabs from various countries. He has a Palestinian co-worker who married a woman from his country, had a child then shipped her back to Palestine so he could "live his life" ie fool around here with American women. He has a Jordanian co-worker who was married to a Lebanese woman and they had two children. She left him and got him for a lot of money in the divorce. He's now burned on Arab women and will only be involved with American women. He has another Jordanian co-worker who married an American girl for "papers" but now loves her yet she's giving him trouble since she's young and doesn't "know how to be a wife". He doesn't want to leave her but he doesn't like how she and her family act. Apparently his MIL stole money from him or whatever. Lots of drama from these guys it seems. Anyways, scams happen and real love and marriage happens. It seems to be a roll of the dice.
Regarding the comment about why American women "chase" MENA guys. Well get online and no matter where you are or what kind of chat room or social network you're involved in there are MENA guys all over it. It seems they chase Americans not the other way around. The women get caught up in the romance of it all because let's face it - MENA guys lay it on pretty thick.

Batta, I both agree and disagree with you on some points.
My husband works with several Arabs from various countries. He has a Palestinian co-worker who married a woman from his country, had a child then shipped her back to Palestine so he could "live his life" ie fool around here with American women. He has a Jordanian co-worker who was married to a Lebanese woman and they had two children. She left him and got him for a lot of money in the divorce. He's now burned on Arab women and will only be involved with American women. He has another Jordanian co-worker who married an American girl for "papers" but now loves her yet she's giving him trouble since she's young and doesn't "know how to be a wife". He doesn't want to leave her but he doesn't like how she and her family act. Apparently his MIL stole money from him or whatever. Lots of drama from these guys it seems. Anyways, scams happen and real love and marriage happens. It seems to be a roll of the dice.
Regarding the comment about why American women "chase" MENA guys. Well get online and no matter where you are or what kind of chat room or social network you're involved in there are MENA guys all over it. It seems they chase Americans not the other way around. The women get caught up in the romance of it all because let's face it - MENA guys lay it on pretty thick.

Unfortunately a lot of men of Arab descent make a bad name for THEMSELVES with their behavior as we've seen in this forum time and again. No one has to do it to them, they do it to themselves.