KATERINA123

I hope not LOL I am not a model
I was just reading this now

You are right, he is a blamer, I should have seen this a long time ago.
He always blamed his mother for everything that didn't work out in his life and now he found a new person to balm - me.
even for stupid things - a few months ago he booked a flight to come see me and he booked a hotel for us to stay so we won't have to stay with my family. when he got to the airport he realized that the flight was for the next day, he made a mistake, he didn't see that it said +1 days, and obviously he blamed me for not checking and not telling him, then he spent the week arguing with me that it's my fault he paid for one extra day at the hotel.
"you should have looked at the screenshot I sent you" 

I know that this is not an immigration thing, but maybe you guys know how soon I can get a divorce? I read that we need to be separated for a year before filing?
He also said that he will take 50% of my money if we divorce and that I will get nothing because everything he has is not in his name.  I said he is an idiot for thinking that. 
I don't want anything from him, just for him to leave me alone.

I hope not LOL I am not a model
I was just reading this now

I hope not LOL I am not a model
I was just reading this now

I hope not LOL I am not a model
I was just reading this now

https://fam.state.gov/fam/09FAM/09FAM050412.html
 
This was given to Brian.  I did it.  9FAM and literal interpretation of 9FAM is not a TOS violation and never will be.
 
There is little to nothing that can be done once a visa has been issued in the passport, and even if rescinded the beneficiary has the right to appeal it.  It is not a matter of just cancelling the affidavit.  That can be done until the physical visa is issued just as it can be done during AOS up to the time the green card is issued.  After that, the rules change, the applicant is approved to immigrate, and the process is complete.
 

I am so sorry you are going through this all. If he hadn't cheated, I would have put it down to last minute panic but this is a different story.
 
Unfortunately, this isn't the first time I am hearing this among immigrants. We go through so much risk to be with out partners without having the advantage to experience them on a daily basis. A lot of decisions are based on faith and hope.
 
As for his personality: He is a blamer. A blamer doesn't take responsibility for his own actions or lack of actions. It won't change and gets old very quickly unless a blamer has the potential to grow up and change. So no matter what, you would have to deal with someone blaming you (or whomever) for whatever goes wrong in his or her life.
 
Since you already sold everything, go and take up that new job. Start all over! I went through a divorce before I met my husband and really had the best life ever AFTER the divorce. I wish I had known that before because I spent years fixing a marriage that couldn't be fixed (and now I am watching my ex-husbands new partner going through the exact same issues). If I were you, I would leave a little earlier just to be on the safe side even if you have to return a few days later to your home country and celebrate the festive season at home.
 
Good luck!

I am so sorry that you have to endure this. 3 years is a long time. Sounds like there was more than enough time for him to correct his actions - but chose not to. Is he sorry, or sorry that he got caught? Anyways, not place to judge. 
 
Don’t be afraid to reach out to friends and family. While it is difficult, it is far better than having to deal with this solo. Seek support for you. Make decisions you can live with and do whatever you need to do to heal. 
 
this is a sad story, and I hope you find peace in this situation. 

I hope not LOL I am not a model
I was just reading this now

I hope not LOL I am not a model
I was just reading this now

I hope not LOL I am not a model
I was just reading this now

I hope not LOL I am not a model
I was just reading this now

I hope not LOL I am not a model
I was just reading this now

I hope not LOL I am not a model
I was just reading this now

I'm not going to comment on what you should or should not do. I just want to say that I empathize with you. It must be terrible to give up almost everything in your home country and have your partner turn their back on you. I hope things work out in your life whatever you decide to do...All the best.

If you have the IR1 visa in your passport you can enter the US immediately.  At POE, give the CBP officer that processes your case and stamps your visa the address you want your SS card and green card mailed to.  Then contact USCIS after you enter the US and make sure they also have your correct mailing address.  There's nothing your husband can do about this, you'll get your 10-year green card without him.  He can't cancel your visa or extort money from you. You can come to the US if you want to.  It's up to you if you tell him where you are living in the US.  If I were in your situation, I wouldn't tell him.  File for divorce after you enter the US and move on with your life.  The only change this will have on your immigration journey is that you will need to wait five years to apply for US citizenship instead of 3.  And, save all your documents showing that your marriage was entered into in good faith, that it was bona fide for those two years or more that it lasted, as you might get asked about this if you apply for citizenship or renew your green card in ten years.  Good luck!

No one seemed to raise any ToS issues when Brian was told his wife could still come to the US. Not sure why it’s different in this case?

I hope not LOL I am not a model
I was just reading this now