TracyTN

Sam, your wife put your business out there.

Thank you!
And my 10 year greencard was just ordered! This is a good week.

You need to be scared. Apparently your husband grew up in an abusive enviroment. If he had jumped right to your defense that would be one thing but you had to tell him.
People that grow up in an abusive enviroment frequently end up being abusive. Him flipping out when you went outside is a bad sign.
These are not normal people to start with but apparently your husband set this thing off with an over reaction to you being outside.
For a short time this seemed like a loving family. beware your husband grew up in this family.
The worst thing you could do right now would be to get pregnant. If he flips out you'll be even more alone than you are now.
Take charge of the birth control and put this guy on probation for a year before you decide to get pregnant.

Nick, you stud!
Emily went to her first story hour yesterday. Apparently she spent a lot of time sitting on the lap of her friend, Housten (17 months). He's an older man. She's got game.

Nick, you stud!
Emily went to her first story hour yesterday. Apparently she spent a lot of time sitting on the lap of her friend, Housten (17 months). He's an older man. She's got game.

Your husband getting on you about it doesn't help. What suggestions does he have? If he can't come up with anything better than what you're already trying, he should support you instead of riding you about it.

If the trust is gone (sounds like it surely is on his side with the constant accusations of cheating), I don't really know where you can go as a couple.
The fact that he's worked without authorization and now has a DUI on his record are going to make adjusting status extremely difficult, aside from all the financial and marriage issues you have.
Sometimes you just have to cut your losses, move on and protect yourself first. You don't owe him a life here. He hasn't done much to deserve one here anyway from the sound of it.

If the trust is gone (sounds like it surely is on his side with the constant accusations of cheating), I don't really know where you can go as a couple.
The fact that he's worked without authorization and now has a DUI on his record are going to make adjusting status extremely difficult, aside from all the financial and marriage issues you have.
Sometimes you just have to cut your losses, move on and protect yourself first. You don't owe him a life here. He hasn't done much to deserve one here anyway from the sound of it.

If the trust is gone (sounds like it surely is on his side with the constant accusations of cheating), I don't really know where you can go as a couple.
The fact that he's worked without authorization and now has a DUI on his record are going to make adjusting status extremely difficult, aside from all the financial and marriage issues you have.
Sometimes you just have to cut your losses, move on and protect yourself first. You don't owe him a life here. He hasn't done much to deserve one here anyway from the sound of it.

My suggestions---
1. POE
2. Rush off to fill in SSN Wait 10-14 days
*Find out requirements for a marriage license in the state where you will marry.
3. Get married (we having a quickie in city hall) Get certified copy of your marriage certificate.
4. go back to change my name in SSN Just wait for your EAD or greencard, then fix name and get the statement removed from your card at the same time.
5. (in the mean time change my name on my British passport?? Can I get forms and do it easy from British consulate NYC? I wont need it to travel for at least 6 months so time not and issue, but should I keep hold on it as I will need it for the following processes?) Keep it until it expires. Travel with marriage certificate to show why passpoert and greencard have different names. Expensive to get from Washington DC British Embassy so save the money for now.
6. Once I get a SSN I can be legally employed????? Employers will consider my CV/Resume in applications? No work until EAD or GC in hand
7. Start to adjustment of status process, which includes a lot of forms (again!) My list if you like a general idea of what's involved. https://docs.google.com/document/d/1FIsgnb7Tfj7tcRNnqRMKUOXQdEfR6HTUDY2vX6zKqqU/edit?hl=en&authkey=CNXN_oQH
8. adjustment of status turns me into a permanent resident and I get a permanent resident card? What time scale is this?
9. At what point can I take my driving test? how long does my UK drivers license "last", or can be used for? Varies by state. Some it's not until greencard. Others the NOA for AOS will do. Driving on UK license as a "visitor" for one year or until GC is generally acceptable in all states. No way to answer without knowing your state.
I know all you lot who have done this know it like the back of your hand!!!! Spell it out for me please!

If the trust is gone (sounds like it surely is on his side with the constant accusations of cheating), I don't really know where you can go as a couple.
The fact that he's worked without authorization and now has a DUI on his record are going to make adjusting status extremely difficult, aside from all the financial and marriage issues you have.
Sometimes you just have to cut your losses, move on and protect yourself first. You don't owe him a life here. He hasn't done much to deserve one here anyway from the sound of it.

Phil: Don't have the girlfriend move in. Don't move into the girlfriend's house. I said it once before, and I'll say it again, pay for a hotel for the fiance and her daughter to stay in until the return ticket date. If they don't leave on the day in question, it's not any of your concern, and stop worrying about it.
Do not send this woman to your friends. She will either make them hate you, make them hate her, kill them, or at the very least, make them never speak to you again. She's your mess, you take care of it, don't pawn her off on a buddy, if you do, you're not a good friend.
If you do not wish to send her to a hotel, then by all means, go to one yourself. Go to your other house. Stay with a friend yourself. But do not stay in the same house as this woman, I still feel it is in your best interest to send her to a hotel with her daughter, as that way she is out of the house and no longer your problem.
As to the daughter, she's obviously used to being the grown up in this relationship, don't worry about your role in messing her up by sending her back to her home country. Yes, maybe USA is a better place for her, but you made a mistake in trying to be in a family with her mom. I truly think you do not love the mother. I think that you just are one of those people that would try to make the best of things no matter what.
Guess what? Sometimes it's better to let things go than to keep flogging a dead horse. So, even if there is one chance in a thousand that you can make it work and be happy, believe me, there is many many more chances that happiness will only come to both of you separately. Do not keep in touch with them, just a clean break is best for all involved.
Also, do not let your ex move in with you. Even after the fiance goes home, as, like I have said before, you have terrible judgement, and terrible taste in women. If anything, you should have learned by now to take it slow, and not live with anyone until you have made the commitment of marriage already. So, if you don't love the ex girlfriend, don't live with her, or you're leading her on.
Phil, can you try to be just a regular guy at all? Try not to look too deep into situations, and try to analyze everything that is said or done? Try to go with the flow and take things at face value for a while? If you can, you'll find that you'll be a lot happier, as your instincts, and then your judgement will start to improve.
Then one day, you'll find yourself in love with someone that deserves it at that moment, and not at some unspecified date in the future when they've hopefully gotten over whatever mental illness they likely have. Don't fall in love with what might be, don't fall in love with a future that you don't know is possible. Fall in love with someone for who they are, at that very moment, and love that they are exactly who they are, flaws and all.
In the meantime... love yourself, and treat yourself better than you have been. Stay away from toxic women.

If the trust is gone (sounds like it surely is on his side with the constant accusations of cheating), I don't really know where you can go as a couple.
The fact that he's worked without authorization and now has a DUI on his record are going to make adjusting status extremely difficult, aside from all the financial and marriage issues you have.
Sometimes you just have to cut your losses, move on and protect yourself first. You don't owe him a life here. He hasn't done much to deserve one here anyway from the sound of it.

I would send USCIS a letter and let them know you've split and you're no longer pursuing permanent residency as you've returned to Canada. Just better to tie things up in case you want to visit the US again - not that they would stop you, per se, but it's better to clarify the situation. Keep a copy of the letter you send and bring that with you the next time you visit as well.
All the best to you!

Add local honey to your diet!

Several posters have mentioned suing "USCIS." The consulates and embassies are under the Department of State.

Your husband getting on you about it doesn't help. What suggestions does he have? If he can't come up with anything better than what you're already trying, he should support you instead of riding you about it.

Any arrest or conviction can work against a green card applicant.

If the trust is gone (sounds like it surely is on his side with the constant accusations of cheating), I don't really know where you can go as a couple.
The fact that he's worked without authorization and now has a DUI on his record are going to make adjusting status extremely difficult, aside from all the financial and marriage issues you have.
Sometimes you just have to cut your losses, move on and protect yourself first. You don't owe him a life here. He hasn't done much to deserve one here anyway from the sound of it.

My husband didn't 'pretend' he never had credit in the UK. Everything was based off his US social security number, which of course wasn't linked to anything until we established him some credit here. Never once was he asked if he had credit cards in the UK.
CallCredit may well work with TransUnion but I don't see in what capacity. It certainly doesn't seem to be an 'on the ground' partnership, where it would help a new credit applicant in the US show that they had established credit during their years in the UK. It would be really helpful for a lot of new immigrants if this were true!

Nigerian men have in general been raised in a culture were until recently wives where property. There was no penalty for killing your wife. Men ate first and went there way, woman ate the leftovers. Many weren't personally raised with this mindset but it was common. Beating was an acceptable method of correcting your wife. I would bet your soon to be ex was raised in this kind of house. Many have gotten to the US back before 9 11 using other peoples ID's or forged documents. Once here they ply various immigration tricks to stay as long as possible, sending whatever money they are making back home so when their immigration trail of lies falls apart they are usually well off by Nigerian standards. I am happy to hear you are away from this man as he was setting a terrible example of married life for your child. Your were a tool in his plan to stay in the US for as long as possible. He will be angry that you have trown a wrench into his plans so DO NOT spend a single second alone with him. If he has something that he claims must be handled in person take another adult and meet in a public place. Consider his lawyer to be suspect of illict activity and do not meet alone in his office.
Good Luck

Your husband getting on you about it doesn't help. What suggestions does he have? If he can't come up with anything better than what you're already trying, he should support you instead of riding you about it.

If the trust is gone (sounds like it surely is on his side with the constant accusations of cheating), I don't really know where you can go as a couple.
The fact that he's worked without authorization and now has a DUI on his record are going to make adjusting status extremely difficult, aside from all the financial and marriage issues you have.
Sometimes you just have to cut your losses, move on and protect yourself first. You don't owe him a life here. He hasn't done much to deserve one here anyway from the sound of it.

If the trust is gone (sounds like it surely is on his side with the constant accusations of cheating), I don't really know where you can go as a couple.
The fact that he's worked without authorization and now has a DUI on his record are going to make adjusting status extremely difficult, aside from all the financial and marriage issues you have.
Sometimes you just have to cut your losses, move on and protect yourself first. You don't owe him a life here. He hasn't done much to deserve one here anyway from the sound of it.

If the trust is gone (sounds like it surely is on his side with the constant accusations of cheating), I don't really know where you can go as a couple.
The fact that he's worked without authorization and now has a DUI on his record are going to make adjusting status extremely difficult, aside from all the financial and marriage issues you have.
Sometimes you just have to cut your losses, move on and protect yourself first. You don't owe him a life here. He hasn't done much to deserve one here anyway from the sound of it.